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Slap Shot 2
DVD disk
10.08.2004 By: The Shootin Surgeon
Slap Shot 2 order
Director:
Stephen Boyum

Actors:
Stephen Baldwin
Gary Busey
The Hanson Brothers

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
A sequel to the 1977 classic, this film follows the (mis)adventures of the Charlestown Chiefs, a minor-league hockey team on the fast lane to nowhere. The team's now media-tycoon owner (Busey) tries to turn the Chiefs into a foil for his new made-for-TV hockey league. Faced with becoming hockey's equivalent of the Washington Generals, the Chiefs and their brave captain Sean Linden (Baldwin) have to cope with the fact that they'll never again play the old-time hockey they love so much. Sound exciting? Not really.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
Webster's Dictionary defines the word "disgrace" as a "source of shame" which causes one "to lose favor or standing". No better word could apply to the mere fact that a sequel would even be thought of for a classic like the original Slap Shot. More over, had it not been as crappy as Slap Shot 2: Breaking the Ice, it may have become stomachable. But make no mistake, Stephen Baldwin ain't no Paul Newman, and Slap Shot 2 ain't no Slap Shot. Stephen Baldwin's career has always been a mystery to be. Not only the fact that he's played in several different types of movies, but merely the fact that he has had one at all. As usual, he stinks up the joint in this one and delivers his lines just about as well as the Lebanese falafel joint down my street, which is to say...not well at all.

Let us then begin with this ridiculous plot, in which ludicrous and inane all combine into one fine mesh of disinterest. The premise here is that a team of has-beens and never-will-bes play their hearts out for a team that can't buy a win against some sad-sack opposition. The team then gets purchased by a millionaire who also happens to own a media empire and who, surprise, is evil. To make things even worse, he appoints a woman (Jessica Steen) as the coach of the macho team and moves them to a place where no one knows about hockey. Naturally, the guys refuse all the money Busey offers because their heart is with "old-time hockey", and naturally, the half-assed team captain (Baldwin) will hit the sack with the good looking coach. Now you may think I'm being an asshole here and giving away too much of the film, but the way I see it, you shouldn't say that and in the event you should be kidnapped and forced to watch this shite, then you'd probably figure it out by minute 5 anyway. Can anyone say "color by numbers"? Obviously the producers of this driftwood can.

Now in all fairness, this movie has some redeeming points. How many? Precisely two. How long do they last? About 5 minutes. Can they save the film? Ha Ha Ha! The Hanson Brothers are back and despite director Boyum's best efforts, they still manage to get a little chuckle out of you, if only because they remind you of the original film. Another slick part is when the boys decide to start playing pranks on the pretty boys they're supposed to lose to. They play one prank, but when director Boyum realizes that his comedy might actually become funny, he quickly puts a halt to the fun and returns to his formulaic trash.

It's really unfortunate that a huge fan of both the sport of hockey and of the original film like me, had to sit through this. Although it doesn't disgrace the game as much as other toilet fare like Mighty Ducks, it merely succeeds in disgracing the art of cinema, with the fecal (yes, "fecal", not "focal") being Stephen Baldwin's appearance, but then again, from a guy who appeared in both Bio-Dome and in Viva Rock Vegas, what can you expect? One more of those and his career might follow in the steps of his pompous brother Alec's.
THE EXTRAS
A 15-minute featurette called "The Making of Slap Shot 2: Breaking the Ice" is offered on the DVD and is probably the most interesting thing on the whole disk as it offers you some footage and history behind the 1977 original. Unfortunately, it also discusses Stephen Baldwin, which is just not something I care about, unless it discusses Stephen Baldwin announcing his singing up in a Russian roulette league.

Next up is an interview with the Hanson Brothers. These guys may act dumb on film, but they're actually pretty insightful and I kind of like them. They basically just go over different hockey related topics and their opinion of where the game is going for about 3 minutes. What was really weird is that there's a segment on the interview entitled "working with Stephen Baldwin", as if that were good. These guys should present this clip if ever they apply for a medal of honor. Leave it to Baldwin to get outclassed as an actor by three retired minor-league hockey players. The guy sucks!

The rest is standard stuff like cast and crew bios and production notes.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
You may have noticed that I didn't mention the original movie that much. Let's leave it that way because I don't really want the two to be associated. There are only three things that I can say about Slap Shot 2: Breaking the Ice. Do not buy it, do not rent it and run away from it as if it were infected with the Black Plague. This film is bad. It's very bad. Do yourself a favor and watch Paul Newman in a classic film instead of Stephen Baldwin in classic crap.
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