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Sorority Row
BLU-RAY disk
Feb 24, 2010 By: J.A. Hamilton
Sorority Row order download
Director:
Stewart Hendler

Actors:
Briana Evigan
Leah Pipes
Rumer Willis

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
A group of sorority sisters put together the ultimate prank to show up an ex-boyfriend, but the whole thing goes south and they end up killing one of their own. Sworn to secrecy they try to make it through graduation, but as always, someone knows about it and decides to kill them one by one.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
It would be all too easy to pick apart SORORITY ROW piece by piece, overanalysing the shit out of it and giving it a poor review but I’m afraid I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy this killing spree a little more than I’d anticipated. Sure, there are plenty of worthy mentions when it comes to originality and such, but in a world where R rated horror is becoming scarce, I feel the need to defend the films that are still willing to go the distance and give us horror fans what we want to see. On that note, this IS what I want to see and though far from perfect, this flick was definitely good times.

Maybe it’s the man’s man in me, but first and foremost this flick gets an A+ in the hottie department because most of the main chicks (as well as the countless party girls) were hella hot! There was lots of fantastic skin shots and naked flesh to be seen, despite not really giving up the ones I really wanted to see, but that’s okay because the scenery was worth it. There was also no shortage of the red stuff and surprisingly enough the kills were pretty decent (which has to count for something these days). Yeah, so it was another “the killer is everywhere” deal, but at least he was good at his job.

There were two big letdowns here; the first one’s painfully obvious being that this thing is an utter and complete rehash of I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (nearly down to the letter), which hurts the film on the surface but for the most part didn’t ruin the ride. The second thing is what killed me (pun intended), and that of course was the revealing of the killer and the ridiculous reasoning behind it all which led to a loathsome ending that made me want to punch someone. And no, the even dumber cliff hanger didn’t help the situation. That said, I knew it wouldn’t end well so it softened the blow.

SORORITY ROW is a worthwhile piece of old school genre horror and like I said, I loved that. The cast played through it well enough and were a treasure trove of hotness for the eyes. I especially dug Briana Evigan (S.DARKO) but was amazingly let down by how “plain” Bruce Willis’ daughter looked up in here. But the icing on the cake for me was Carrie Fisher showing up as a bad ass, shot gun wielding, F-bomb throwing Mrs. Crenshaw. Her presence alone is worth the price of admission. The mood, tension and overall effects weren’t too shabby either (the house fire stood out), so if you can wrap your mind around the fact you’ve already seen this scenario play out before and we’re not exactly reinventing the wheel here, I’m sure you can appreciate this one for what it is. I did.
THE EXTRAS
Commentary: This was one of the better commentaries I’ve seen in awhile as it uses a “pip feature” giving us a box in the lower corner of the screen with the director and four of our main girls. The bad news is that they’re fully clothed rather than half naked.

Sorority Secrets: Stories from the Set: The sexy cast of vixens explain their prank in greater detail and walk us through their “mean girl” personas. Mean or not, I’d love to hit one of their parties.

Killer 101: Director Steward Hendler gives us the low down on what it takes to be a lady killer these days. Too bad he’s writing checks his killer can’t cash.

Kill Switch: This wonderful feature fast-forwards through all the boring stuff and goes straight to the kills. It’s one hell of a highlight reel.

Deleted Scenes: A short seven minutes with nothing of interest save an alternate ending. It’s essentially the same thing, only a more “in your face” approach.

Outtakes: The funniest (and scariest) thing about these outtakes is finding out that some of these chicks aren’t overly bright.

Previews: There are a couple previews and a very odd Easter egg which can be found by pressing up at the title screen until a small picture of a shower appears.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
I don’t mind slasher flicks like SCREAM and I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER and you know that’s what this is from jump street after watching the trailer. I just wish they’d put even a hint of thought into the ending as that would have upped this movie’s stock considerably.

Extra Tidbit: I'll never look at a tire iron the same way again.
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