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South Park (S9)
DVD disk
03.05.2007 By: Quigles
South Park (S9) order
Trey Parker

Trey Parker
Matt Stone
Isaac Hayes


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The long-running SOUTH PARK series continues with yet another outrageous season of attempts to piss off as many people as possible. So enjoy, as the four foul-mouthed youngsters have even more adventures in their not-so-quiet little mountain town.
SOUTH PARK used to just be about four foul-mouthed boys having weird adventures involving aliens, evil turkeys, and Ethiopian kids. Nine seasons later, the show has evolved into something much more meaningful. Each episode now focuses on important current events and controversial political issues, such as global warming, the Terri Schiavo case, and Tom Cruise being gay. Yes, the show's certainly matured since those early days.

Some have commented (or rather, outright b*tched) that the show has become tired and preachy, and while I'll admit that it has had better days, it's still one of the funniest and most entertaining shows on television. And if there's one thing I learned from owning every SOUTH PARK set currently available, it's that the show plays even better on DVD. Season nine is no different, featuring plenty of gross-out gags (like Butters' death being faked by dropping a pig carcass off a building, having the guts spray all over his parents, and then topping it off with a cop checking the splattered corpse's pulse), bizarre storylines (like the boys needing to save what they think is a talking whale by sending it to the moon), and over-the-top hilarity (like the civilians of SOUTH PARK literally running away from global warming, as if it were chasing them). Some of it's clever, some of it's incredibly immature... and just about all of it's hilarious. That's SOUTH PARK for ya.


Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina
"Dude... Mr. Garrison has titties." - Cartman

For some reason, this episode got a pretty bad rap. Personally, I thought it was hilarious. While I didn't exactly like the prospect of changing Mr. Garrison into Mrs. Garrison, the fact that Kyle turns into a tall black kid and his dad into a dolphin still helped to make this one a winner in my book.

Die Hippie, Die
"Don't think that you can buy me with presents! ...Unless of course it's the new Tonka radio-controlled play bulldozer." - Cartman

I love it when SOUTH PARK parodies movie genres, and this time the focus is on Bruckheimer-esque flicks like THE CORE and ARMAGEDDON. Except, instead of meteors and problems with the earth's rotation, the issue at hand is a widespread hippy takeover (or more specially, the Hippie JamFest '05). And as it turns out, Cartman is the only person who can stop them. Naturally, hilarity ensues.

"From now on, we are an entertainment team, Token. You just do all the singing, all the performing, and all the entertaining... and leave the rest to us." - Cartman

The first half of this episode is solidly funny, but it starts to get lost when the character Wing becomes involved. The story basically revolves around boys starting their own talent agency, and then eventually getting caught up with the Chinese Mafia (who they think stole their new client). It's got a number of laughs, but this is one of the more average episodes in the season.

Best Friends Forever
"We are outnumbered and in need of someone who can single-handedly bring the whole dark empire down. Basically Kenny, you are Keanu Reeves." - Archangel Michael

This is a highly popular episode, and for good reason. At the time it aired, the two most notable aspects of it were the fact that it featured the PSP and the Terri Schiavo controversy (although the latter was indirect). It also won a 2005 Emmy Award, and was featured as one of Trey and Matt's favorite episodes on the SOUTH PARK: THE HITS DVD. Easily a season highlight.

The Losing Edge
"This is for what?! Arresting me for what?! I'm not allowed to stand up for myself?! I thought this was America! Huh? Isn't this America?! I'm sorry! I thought this was America!" - Randy

Instead of trying to win their baseball games, the boys just want to hurry up and lose so they can have fun doing other stuff. Problem is, all the other teams want to lose too, so it becomes a battle of who can suck the hardest. Meanwhile, Randy keeps getting into fights with dads at the ballgames. Even though this episode's funny, it gets pretty repetitive. I did, however, love the spoof on ROCKY.


The Death of Eric Cartman
"Don't be sad, Butters. What awaits each person in Heaven is eternal bliss, divine rest, and ten thousand dollars cash." - Cartman

Episodes like this are my favorite. It features the much-loved team of Cartman and Butters, as well a laughably stupid and bizarre storyline that could only work in a show like SOUTH PARK. It kicks off with Cartman being an asshole as usual, and then once everybody at school decides to ignore him, he comes to the conclusion that he died and is now a ghost. My favorite bit is when he tries to right his wrongs by handing out fruit baskets to a musically-fitting montage.

Erection Day
"Now sit down Jimmy, we should have a little talk. You see, Jimmy, when a man's penis becomes hard, the man puts it into a lady. Into her "vagina." Then, the hard penis sneezes milk inside the lady's tummy, and after it's all done sneezin' milk, the penis stops bein' hard, and the man loses interest in the lady." - Butters

This was a pretty weak episode. I like Jimmy and all, but watching 22 minutes of him trying to find a girl to have sex with got old fast. The one bit I really liked though was when he when on a date with a girl at school... while Cartman directed what he should say through an earpiece. That type of stuff never gets old.

Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow
"Global warming didn't cause the Beaverton flood. We know now whose fault it is. It was... Crab people!" - Army General

Here we have another political-based episode (Hurricane Katrina, global warming, etc.), which normally are the ones I find the least appealing, but this one was outstanding. On top of the hilarious social commentary, the movie parodying is great as well (obviously with a strong focus put on THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW). And, as usual, the citizens of SOUTH PARK are complete idiots.

"Well, I'm just a typical little girl. I like dancin', and ponies, and getting my snootch pounded on Friday night." - Butters (as Marjorine)

I'm gonna go ahead and hail "Marjorine" as my favorite episode from this set. As I stated in my review for season 8, I love episodes that deal with the boys just being boys. Here, they do just that. Cartman captures video footage of the girls using a Cootie Catcher, which they believe is a device that can tell the future. Determined to get it, they fake Butters' death and have him dress up as Marjorine, the new girl in school. An excessive amount of hilarity ensues.

Follow That Egg
"I believe that I might have come up with a compromise to this whole problem that will make everyone happy! People in the gay community want the same rights as married couples, but dissenters don't want the word 'marriage' corrupted. So how about we let gay people get married, but call it something else? You homosexuals will have all the exact same rights as married couples, but instead of referring to you as 'married,' you can be 'butt buddies'. Instead of being 'man and wife,' you'll be 'butt buddies'. You won't be 'betrothed,' you'll be 'butt buddies'. Get it? Instead of a 'bride and groom,' you'd be 'butt buddies'." - Governor

The thing that will put people off this episode is probably Mrs. Garrison. The character is still funny, but he/she's also become really annoying. Aside from that, this is a laugh-filled episode is a worthwhile inclusion for the season. Stan's jealousy over Kyle working with Wendy is classic, and I loved the whole "taking care of an egg" project.


Ginger Kids
"We've all seen them - on the playground, at the store, walking on the streets - they creep us out and make us feel sick to our stomachs. I'm talking of course about... ginger kids. Ginger kids are born with a disease which causes very light skin, red hair, and freckles. This disease is called Gingervitus." - Cartman

Even though this episode builds up a little more than it can deliver with its final moments, it's still excellent. It kicks off funny as ever with Cartman giving his hate-filled speech about the dangers of "ginger kids" (pale, red-haired children with freckles). But Kyle (what Cartman refers to as a "daywalker") is ready for payback, as him and Stan turn Cartman into a ginger himself.

Trapped in the Closet
"Tom, you can't hide forever just because the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard doesn't like your acting. Come out of the closet, Tom. You're not fooling anyone." - Nicole Kidman

Surprisingly enough, this episode actually loses steam on repeat viewings. I never thought I'd say that, seeing as how I myself had a conflict with Scientology/Scientologists (I went to a horrible private school called Delphi Academy, where we read books by L. Ron Hubbard called "Learning How to Learn" and "How to Use a Dictionary" - oh, and by the way, I got expelled too... the school is now closed). So naturally, seeing that stupid cult getting trashed is hilarious to me. But, once you get past all the controversy, this is an episode you'll probably watch a couple times and love, but won't feel the need to keep coming back to. Regardless, it's still got numerous laugh-out-loud moments, and the reveal of the story of Xenu (coupled with the on-screen words "This is what Scientologists actually believe.") is just brilliant.

Free Willzyx
"Hey, that whale talked to me too. After everyone left the show, I walked up to the glass and he started talking. I thought I was crazy. He said my dad was gonna sneak into my room naked one night and beat me up." - Craig

I sort of remember everybody else complaining that this was a weak episode, even though I personally loved it. After Kyle hears what he thinks is a talking whale (when in actuality, it's two announcers messing around with him), he's determined to get it to its home planet... the moon. Your enjoyment of the episode will probably be determined by how funny you find the story. And even if you don't like it, the episode's closing shot coupled with the realistic artist rendition of the four boys easily makes it an entry worth remembering.

Bloody Mary
"What seems to be the officer, problem?" - Randy

Randy has become one of the funniest characters in SOUTH PARK, and this episode proves why. His battling of his "disease" (alcoholism) is a riot, and nothing quite beats the pope getting sprayed by asshole blood from a statue of the Virgin Mary. It's not the greatest of episodes, but it's got enough hilarity to keep any fan satisfied.

If you have any of the SOUTH PARK sets after season 2, you already know that the only extras are short bits of commentary on each episode, also called Mini-Commentaries (with Trey Parker and Matt Stone). Personally, I find these quick audio blurbs to be funny, informative, and always worth a listen. The only one that disappointed me was "Trapped in the Closet," which they basically decided not to talk about due to how much has already been said (plus, they already did a mini-commentary for it on the DVD for SOUTH PARK: THE HITS).

Also included are several Comedy Central Quickies (which are brief clips from random television shows) and a bunch of DVD Previews.
By now you know whether or not you're a fan of this show, and if you are, there's probably no question that you're planning on picking up this set. Season 9 doesn't mark the show's finest hour (in fact, it's probably one of its lesser ones), but it's still way better than most of the sh*t found on TV.
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