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Survival Island
DVD disk
Aug 15, 2006 By: Scott Weinberg
Survival Island order
Director:
Stewart Raffill

Actors:
Kelly Brook
Billy Zane
Juan Pablo Di Pace

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
A rich jerk, his amazingly hot wife, and a hunky stud are shipwrecked on a deserted island. (The wife spends the whole movie in (and out of) a white bikini.)
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
Apparently Kelly Brook is this big sensation among horny teenage boys. She has very large boobs and a somewhat attractive face, which is all it really takes to become a star these days. (Well, the boobs, the face, and a website.) Being a mega-sexy model and the girlfriend to B-movie actor Billy Zane, Kelly was pretty much destined for stardom. Well, if stardom includes a Skinemax-level SWEPT AWAY rip-off that was directed by the guy who brought you MAC AND ME and MANNEQUIN 2: ON THE MOVE.

SURVIVAL ISLAND (previously entitled THREE) is not so much a movie as it is a screen-saver for your DVD player. Pop the disc in and you're treated to an endless series of photographs in which Kelly Brook romps across a beautiful island paradise. Every once in a while one of the two MEN start sniffing around and ruin the effect, but when it's just Ms. Brook (and the remote's on MUTE), then I suppose SURVIVAL ISLAND isn't half bad.

Focus on anything connected to the plot, the dialogue, the acting performances, or the porno-level production values, and you're kind of missing the point: The chick's in a white bikini, you see, and her breasts are really large. Yeah, now you're getting it.

THE EXTRAS
Just some filmographies, a photo gallery, and some previews.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
Apparently Brook and Zane tried to sue the producers for making the flick just a little bit ... smuttier than they liked. OR they just wanted to kick-start a little controversy by promising the DVD buyers that, yes, Kelly Brook does show her bare cans in this movie. But you can enjoy the same thing online, and in a whole lot less than 95 minutes.
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