Enter Ryan (Jesse Bradford, Swimfan) and Mary (Sophia Bush, TV‘s “One Tree Hill“), a Stepford couple who offer to look out for Scott and make sure he doesn’t rush into anything serious too soon. They’re always chipper, fix gourmet brunches (with pineapple!), and make sure Scott doesn‘t drunk-dial his ex. But they also roleplay (something about Geronimo and wampum?), eavesdrop on Scott’s phone conversations, and take photos of him while he’s sleeping. They would make good serial killers.
Their antics--from interrupting a private dress rehearsal of A Midsummer Night’s Dream to throwing the world’s worst birthday bash--make it impossible for Scott’s romance with new girl Leslie (Jennifer Morrison, TV‘s “House M.D.”), who also has a habit of rushing things with new beaus, to bloom. And that’s just their plan. Only they can be happy, even if they really aren’t.
Writer/director Michael Samonek’s askew Table for Three sets itself up as the kind of sitcom where the supporting characters get to have all of the fun while the lead, a handsome coulda-been, merely recites his lines. It’s, more than anything, a showcase for Bradford and Bush, who motor their way through a rousing game of one-upmanship for 93 minutes in between Routh’s ineptness and the apparently endless music montages (three in the first 20 minutes!).
In the film‘s closing scenes, Ryan and Mary take their van back home. But I’d like to think they’re embarking on a cross-country road trip, picking up hapless single men in each state and cutting their limbs off along the way. That would make a great movie. Funnier and more charming, at least.
Three’s a Crowd (29:31): Again, generic. Interviews (with Samonek and the primary cast) and clips guide us through the behind-the-scenes of Table For Three.