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The Benchwarmers
DVD disk
07.25.2006 By: Sturdy
The Benchwarmers order
Director:
Dennis Dugan

Actors:
Rob Schneider
David Spade
Jon Heder

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
A trio of adult dorks stop a trio of child dorks from getting bullied. Soon, they’re put into a baseball tournament to earn respect for dorks everywhere.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
This is bad on all levels. Usually, Spade or Schneider can conjure up a few laughs just by relying on their old SNL tricks. Here, they forget about comedy and just show up for work. And I’m still not sure about Jon Heder. At least he’s not trying to shed his Napoleon Dynamite image.

The premise is just pitiful. I hate to inject a tiny bit of logic into this plot, but any adult male that can pitch and hit can beat any little league team. That’s just the laws of human development. As it turns out, one of the three dorks is good at baseball and that fact alone removes all comedy and sentimentalism from the film. It also suffered because it didn’t know if it wanted to be a family oriented film, or an adult R-rated comedy. It wasn’t racy enough to merit an R rating and it had just enough tasteless jokes to keep the kids away.

But Sandler-reject movies don’t rely on comedy, talent, or story to be successful, they rely on one-liners to divert the audience’s attention away from the horrible film they’re witnessing. Unfortunately, there are no funny one-liners in BENCHWARMERS and all of the supporting characters are incredibly unfunny. It’s hard to know what they were thinking with this one.
THE EXTRAS
Commentary with Dennis Dugan: I know you’re going to find this hard to believe, but he really doesn’t have anything to say here. He seems bored with his own movie and this commentary seemed to last forever.

Commentary with David Spade and Jon Heder: These two alone are more funny than the movie. They offer some interesting bits. Despite that, you won’t miss anything if you skip this one. It just seemed more interesting since I listened to it after the one with Dugan.

Nerds Vs Bullies (5:46): This is mainly interviews with the cast and crew about what their childhood was like. It seems that no one who worked on this film was a bully. However, it does confirm that Craig Kilborn is a funny guy, but he really needs to go back to ESPN.

Mr. October (8:11): The cast and crew talk about how great Reggie Jackson is. Which is true, just ask him and he’ll tell you all about it. This is pretty lame and for Jackson fans only.

Play Ball (6:03): Kilborn is still great, other than that, you won’t get anything from this. It’s hard to believe they included something with people explaining what baseball actually is. I have to wonder if MLB paid them to say nice things about the sport.

Who’s On Deck? (2:39): This is all about the character Howie. The only reason I can think of that this would be included would be that the DVD producers had to meet a quota of featurettes. This was completely worthless.

Deleted Scenes (2:45): These were all pointless since none of them lasted over a minute. They could’ve left them in and I wouldn’t have noticed.

There are also some Previews.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
David Spade, Jon Heder and Rob Schneider can be funny, they just decided not to be in this film. The storyline is bad, even for a comedy of this nature. It’s hard to say something nice about this one, so do yourself a favor and let it be.
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