Asinine stupidity aside, the characters weren’t any better. Rebecca was interesting, but I guess I liked her because she gave new kid on the block, Marc, an easy transition into his new school—for all the good it ended up doing him. Now these two are the masterminds behind getting the robberies started, but my biggest question is, why let so many other peeps in on the action? Okay, we covered that they’re stupid as hell, and maybe I get letting a couple other people from their circle in, but when you start showcasing it at clubs saying “I just came from Paris’ house”, and then bringing acquaintances along for the ride (not to mention hitting the same place multiple times), we have a problem. Case in point, drinking and partying in Paris’ bar and leaving a mess of spilt booze everywhere. I mean sure, Paris doesn’t look like a rocket scientist or anything, but I’m sure she’d notice something like that.
I’d like to say THE BLING RING tries to be something different and cool, but I can’t. It’s lazy, uninspired and just plain boring. There’s no substance here whatsoever. The relationships between these so called friends is pathetic, especially when it rounds out at the end of the film with everyone turning on one another in hopes of escaping blame (and jail time). That doesn’t work out so well for any of them, least of all our main duo, Rebecca and Marc. The weirdest aspect of the film comes from Emma Watson’s Nicki, one of those plastic, useless, morons trying to get by on the fact that she’s hot, making whatever comes out of her mouth matter. The only thing I wanted to see come out of her mouth was my fist after it punched a hole through her face. I get where they were going with her whole angle, but it’s as unconvincing as it is annoying and only served to whittle away at my patience.
Behind the Real Bling Ring: This is remotely interesting. Honestly, they should have just made this into a straight up documentary film and I think it would’ve done much better.
Scene of the crime with Paris Hilton: A wake up for poor Paris. That said, she doesn’t seem overly distraught about the whole thing. Then again, it’s just pocket change to her.
Previews: There’s a theatrical trailer, a bunch of other previews as well as an Ultraviolet Digital Copy of the film.