THE CUTTER may be atrociously dumb, but, man, did I have fun watching it. The roommates and I cracked open a case of Guinness and laughed more at this movie than the last three Farrelly Brothers movies combined. We seriously had a blast, and you can too! Get your favorite alcoholic beverage and take a drink anytime:
- The 66-year old Chuck becomes noticeably exhausted from throwing a punch or running more than fifteen feet
- You can spot Mr. Norris’s stunt double (who’s in the movie more than Chuck)
- There’s an extended flashback to something that happened literally three minutes before (Great for people with Alzheimer’s!)
- The “master of disguise” villain wears a wig so bad that you can actually see his real hair underneath it
- Somebody gets thrown through a window for no reason.
- Chuck breaks a guy’s neck without even moving his arms
- Chuck gets into his Blue Van of Justice, chases the bad guys (who have kidnapped a girl), and then proceeds to plow his car right into theirs…without concern for the safety of the victim inside
Intoxicated Hilarity rating: 4.5/5
Serious Sober rating: 2/5
What?! No Chuck Norris commentary? I feel gypped.
And since I have yet to exploit any of those ridiculous Chuck Norris “facts” in my review, here’s one for your reading pleasure:
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.