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The Girl Next Door
DVD disk
10.17.2004 By: The Shootin Surgeon
The Girl Next Door order
Director:
Luke Greenfield

Actors:
Elisha Cuthbert
Emile Hirsch
Timothy Olyphant

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
A nerdy high school kid named Matt (Hirsch) gets every boy's dream come true when a beautiful girl (Cuthbert) moves in next door and falls in love with him. However, when he finds out the girl happens to be a porn star, Matt gets propelled into a world of craziness to which his geeky life had never been exposed. Über-hottie Elisha Cuthbert stars as Danielle, the recovering sex kitten.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
There are three good reasons to see this movie: the first one is that it's a refreshing throwback to old school comedies when geeky, oversexed, virgin teenagers would let their libido put them in all kinds of zany situations. The other two reasons? They're firmly set in hometown hottie Elisha Cuthbert's bra. All kidding aside however, THE GIRL NEXT DOOR is just plain fun to watch and most of that is owed to actors who do a solid job of playing a group of people in a ridiculous situation without making them look ridiculous themselves. Starting with the understated Hirsch as the loveable geek, through to Cuthbert, a woman who could set your eyes on fire just from looking at her and finally exploding onto the screen in the form of the wildly entertaining Timothy Olyphant, who steals every scene he's in. Olyphant, in the role of Kelly, a slimy, sleazy, oily small-time porn producer with dibs on Danielle, is that one character which everyone usually wants to dress up as and act like after seeing him in a movie. No doubt one of every two teens who see this flick will start doing a two-finger point at everything that moves and try to charm every chick they see out of their pants. You might even see a bit more of what's underneath those pants since this unrated edition lets them drop a bit further. The only addition of note though is a prolonged shot of Cuthbert slipping down her pants.

The movie also fights for its right to party through the use of one of the coolest soundtracks this side of JoBlo's annual Disco Duck party, featuring the likes of David Bowie, Echo & The Bunnymen, Marvin Gaye and Lynyrd Skynyrd, among others. It also boasts a great supporting cast filled with high school nerds, high school jocks and a bunch of hot chicks in skimpy clothing. It actually made me even angrier about all the time I wasted hanging out with Indiana Sev in high school instead of nailing porn star neighbors, but that's all in the past now. The standout among the supporting cast was Chris Marquette as Matt's friend Eli. Exuding pure teenage horniness and spewing out the word "fuck" with an ability heretofore attributed only to Denis Leary, Marquette provides most of the comic relief during scenes not including Olyphant and gives the film that extra touch of teenage hormones. What all this means is that if you take all the elements mentioned above, that is hot girls, nerds and cool music, you've got yourself the makings of a good time at the home theater. Throw in some porn stars and whaddya know? You can even extend the fun past the movie's running time!
THE EXTRAS
Full Length Commentary Track by Director Luke Greenfield: Greenfield does the standard director chit-chat, talking about how the movie was made and cast and what-not. Fairly interesting, but Greenfield never strays far from the well-beaten track.

Full Length Trivia Track: A good complement to the commentary track, the trivia track runs some pop-up info at the bottom of the screen. Some of the facts are actually pretty interesting though, especially the one in which they mention exactly how many people are jerking off in theaters on average when Cuthbert unlaces her pants in a particular scene of the movie.

Scene Specific Commentary with Elisha Cuthbert or Emile Hirsch: Each of the actors discuss a few scenes in particular. Hirsch only goes through four and Cuthbert goes through five, but one of them is the one in which she discusses just how much clothing she was willing to take off during the movie.

The Eli Experience (8 mins.): This was pretty funny. It's basically a short video of Marquette running loose at an adult video convention and playing pranks on people. The funniest segment is one in which actor Matt 'Horshu' Wiese, who plays Mule in the movie, goes around the convention asking various men if they'll make love to him.

A Look Next Door (9 mins.): A fairly standard 'making of' featurette in which the main cast members and filmmakers give their two bits about the whole shebang.

Gag Reel and Deleted Scenes: Following a 3-minute long gag reel, you can watch a set of 16 deleted and extended scenes with optional commentary by director Greenfield. They're all pretty short and nothing to blow you away, but one of them is billed as the "original ending". That's a bit of a crock since it amounts to a five second clip of something that could have fit at the end of the movie, but that thankfully didn't.

The rest consists of throwaways like the Stills Gallery and some Trailers.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
I remember catching a few TV episodes of Popular Mechanics for Kids a few years back and thinking the host was pretty cute. Well, she's all growns up and looking mighty hot nowadays, but she really does a good job of not letting that be her only asset. This flick is worth the money for Cuthbert and Olyphant alone so I'll prescribe a strong rental but the heavy rewatch value makes it a solid purchase as well.
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