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The Osbournes (S1)
DVD disk
Oct 7, 2004 By: The Arrow
The Osbournes (S1) order
Director:
Various

Actors:
Ozzy Osbourne
Sharon Osbourne
Kelly Osbourne

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Come on in and spend a few days with renowned bathead-chewer, heavy metal legend Ozzy Osbourne and his colorful family. Be there as they live their rich, everyday and profanity-filled lives to their fullest. God, I wished theyd adopt me already!
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
Having been an Ozzy fan since my teenage headbanger years, never in a million years would I have ever have thought that the Oz man would wind up on TV in his own reality show. Is that the 8th sign of the apocalypse or what? What's next? The Marilyn Manson cooking show? Thank goodness for the charming Sharon Osbourne, who is obviously the brains behind Ozzys career, and who had the panache to make this all happen. We should all be that lucky in having a wife like her. The show itself is more addictive than porn with the family coming off as quite loveable (is it me or is Kelly hot?) and the sweet profanity sounding like classical music to my ears. Nobody says fuck like the Oz man and his kin, that's for damn sure!

Through this First Season (10 Episodes -2 discs) you will encounter house pets that shit everywhere and destroy furniture (gotta love Lola), oddball house guests that wont leave, Ozzys always hilarious "one brain cell left" demeanor and his many insightful philosophical" moments (funny shite), along with a horde of mishaps as we follow Oz and his crew on the road. I guess my only complaint about the show is that some of it did came across as staged and that kind of tarnished the intended effect at times. On the flipside, name me one reality show that isnt staged. At least the Osbournes have a vulgar, yet extremely intoxicating, cast to back it up and I for one could watch them go at it for hours, especially if homies and drinks got into the mix (which they tend to do quite often around these parts). Meet The Osbournes and accept them with open arms into your family.
THE EXTRAS
DAMN!!! Can there be any more extras on this disk?? I havent left my house in days...I need sunlight!! Heres the breakdown:

Bonus Footage (various lengths): This feature would be the equivalent of the usual DVD feature of deleted scenes. We get a multitude of sequences that didnt make the cut on the show, most of which are side-splitting, especially whenever Ozzy is involved. His anti-smoking speech had me rolling on the floor. Good shite!

Conversations with The Osbournes (~ 40 minutes): This segment can be played in 4 separate segments or all together. Through these various bits we learn of Ozzys love for touring, how it is to be an Osbourne, how the show came to be and some inside scoops from the security guard in regards to his arrest. If you got 40 minutes to murder, this is a good way to go about it.

Too Oz for TV Blooper Reel (~ 6 minutes): This feature is basically a long montage of people tripping, hitting each other and going through other various accidents. Yes, you guessed itit's funny!

Season Highlights (~ 18 minutes): Here we get a series of highlights from Season 1 from the whole family (even Lola shitting on the floor). We can play them separately or play all together. My favorite bit was Kellys shining moment, where her classic line was unveiled: My teeth, my car, my vagina, my business. If shes not the marrying kind, I dont know who is! A groovy extra!

Ozzys Ten Commandments (~ 2 minutes): Ozzy graces us with his 10 commandments, most of which have to do with his dads money (???). In retrospect, I have to lean towards popcorn as my favorite commandment. A harmless extra.

Episode Commentary (full length): All of the episodes have an optional commentary track by Sharon and Jack (wheres The Oz and Kelly?). Although we dont get much insight from these two as to the "behind the scenes" stuff and dead times are frequent, their comments did provide me with some occasional hearty chuckles.

Ozzy Translator: This option subtitles most of what Ozzy says during each episode in a colorful fashion. I found this option very useful during Ozzys more mumbling moments...which are many.

We also get a Photo Gallery, a Language Censoring Option (why would anybody use this??), games that include Name that Dookie, Edit a Scene and lastly Osbourne Bingo. In the DVD ROM feature department we get: Food Nuisance Arcade Game --Guide to The Osbournes- Website Links. The DVD also comes with a slick Picture Booklet and the Animated Menu that the DVD sports is very creative and fun in the way it uses scenes from the show to get us where we want to go.

Is that enough DVD meat for ya? It should be, because the kitchen is closed when it comes to this dish! Yummy!
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
By rule of thumb, I LOATHE all reality shows. The Bachelor, Joe Millionaire, High School Reunion...they can all lip-lock my buttocks to high heaven. But THE OSBOURNES is the exception to the rule. It all comes down to you digging the cast and personally, I couldnt help but be swayed by the loony tunes in this nuthouse. This First Season slapped a constant grin on my face and the packed DVD itself made sure that two days of my existence were well spent. Next to the Hefner household, The Osbournes nest is the next spot I have to hit up. THE OSBOURNES RULE!
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