John C. Reilly
The story is interesting enough as are the mythology changes when it comes right down to vampire lore (I never tire of news ways to tell an old tale), but the dialogue was far too cheesy and some of the characters were far too overacted making this feel more like the first Harry Potter film than a serious, atmospheric battle between good and evil. This flick feels like yet another attempt at a franchise for young audiences with loads of foreshadowing toward coming events and a nod in the direction of at least one sequel, which makes sense I suppose as this film is based upon a twelve book series.
The cast is impressive, but again lead me to believe theyíre trying to build a larger story as most of them donít get a whole lot of screen time. John C. Reilly played a cool vampire, and his character wasnít nearly as bumbling as youíd expect coming from him. Willem Dafoe and Salma Hayek (who still looks hot as hell) both fall under the rarely seen or used category, but Dafoe feels like heíd be pretty important in the next story. Thereís nothing at all wrong with the cast, I just found it difficult to take anyone or anything seriously from the heroes or the villains.
THE VAMPIREíS ASSISTANT will score big points amongst those who enjoy the PG-13 fare, I just donít happen to be one of those people. If this film was rated R and the dialogue, characters and tone reflected as much, it would have been love at first sight. But for me, a vampire flick need to (for lack of a better saying) go for the jugular and this flick is barely capable of a paper cut. I donít want to blame TWILIGHT, but once vampire movies start slipping from the horror section into the drama section (and from there into the semi-comedy section) itís safe to say we have a problem. Granted, thereís a lot more to the Cirque Du Freak than just vampires, but vampires do seem to be the overall selling point here and that makes me a little sad inside.
Guide to Becoming a Vampire: The director and production team get into the source material for the film (a twelve book series) and go on to explain how they made the film much more serious and darker than the books. From what I can tell the books seem much less childish than the film. Bummer.
Tour Du Freak: This feature is an automated guide around the freak show camp which goes into greater detail about all those who live there. I still donít understand why Selma can grow a beard.
Previews: There are also a couple trailers that play before the feature.