BLU-RAY/DVD REVIEWS

003517Reviews & Counting
SEARCH BY TITLE # A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Today You Die
DVD disk
Nov 18, 2005 By: The Arrow
Today You Die order
Director:
Don E. FauntLeRoy

Actors:
Steven Seagal
Treach
Nick Mancuso

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

star Printer-Friendly version
comment
WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
An obese Steven Seagal gets framed for a crime he was not supposed to commit, goes to jail, gets out with a wannabee gangsta on his side and hits the payback trail with his stuntman doing the bulk of the fighting.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
The Steven Seagal I got to know and love is officially dead. Gone is the credibility of ABOVE THE LAW, the fun times of HARD TO KILL, the brutal badass-ness of MARKED FOR DEATH (my fav Seagal film), the fun cheese of the UNDER SIEGE movies and the no-holds barred nature of OUT FOR JUSTICE. Say hello to a fat, f*cking fat, Steven Seagal; one who teams up with filmmaking hacks on every level and cashes in a paycheck in the process. Talk about selling one’s soul to a dime store Devil! Shame on you Seagal!

TODAY YOU DIE is a great title and that’s where it pretty much ends. A couple of nifty fight bits and one slick car/truck mash up in the streets of Vegas aside, this movie screamed one word and one word only: POSEUR. Poseur in its connect-the-dots storyline and its half-baked drama, plot, relationships and voodoo angle. Criminally poseur with a so damn fat Steven Seagal that he needs an overly obvious body double to do most of the fighting for him. How pathetic! Poseur in its “Gangsta African American” tough guy side kick who will only convince 7 year olds that he’s the real deal and that he can actually act. Embarrassing! And poseur in its many flat and scrappily edited shootouts, which were so exciting, that I stared at my big, left toe constantly when they went down.

This is not a Steven Seagal film. You know the guy who was fit, broke limbs like a champ and gave a shite about his movies. This is swipe-the-credit-card-in-the-slot Seagal: obese, on set for the close ups with a below average script, directing and editing job in the house to boot. What freaking blasphemy! This movie is CRAP!
THE EXTRAS
Nothing worth mentioning unless sub par trailers for cheapo Seagal and Wesley Snipes (What happened Wes?) projects talk to you.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
Sly Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren: all went down from their theatrical days, but are still physically credible while delivering well-made, hit-or-miss projects that they genuinely care about. Steven Seagal on the other backhand, doesn’t give a damn and it shows!

TODAY YOU DIE was yet another "Look, I’m Steven Seagal, I’m overweight, I show up for the close-ups, let some other dude do the real fighting for me while the script, the directing and the editing means nothing to me" movie. His name on a DVD Box might assure foreign distribution sales, but it won’t fool this pre-FIRE DOWN BELOW Seagal fan. It's over: he knows it and so do we. How long are they going to milk the corpse? I pray for a comeback, but it doesn’t look too likely. RIP ponytail!
Strikeback
Not registered? Sign-up!
Or