Don E. FauntLeRoy
TODAY YOU DIE is a great title and that’s where it pretty much ends. A couple of nifty fight bits and one slick car/truck mash up in the streets of Vegas aside, this movie screamed one word and one word only: POSEUR. Poseur in its connect-the-dots storyline and its half-baked drama, plot, relationships and voodoo angle. Criminally poseur with a so damn fat Steven Seagal that he needs an overly obvious body double to do most of the fighting for him. How pathetic! Poseur in its “Gangsta African American” tough guy side kick who will only convince 7 year olds that he’s the real deal and that he can actually act. Embarrassing! And poseur in its many flat and scrappily edited shootouts, which were so exciting, that I stared at my big, left toe constantly when they went down.
This is not a Steven Seagal film. You know the guy who was fit, broke limbs like a champ and gave a shite about his movies. This is swipe-the-credit-card-in-the-slot Seagal: obese, on set for the close ups with a below average script, directing and editing job in the house to boot. What freaking blasphemy! This movie is CRAP!
TODAY YOU DIE was yet another "Look, I’m Steven Seagal, I’m overweight, I show up for the close-ups, let some other dude do the real fighting for me while the script, the directing and the editing means nothing to me" movie. His name on a DVD Box might assure foreign distribution sales, but it won’t fool this pre-FIRE DOWN BELOW Seagal fan. It's over: he knows it and so do we. How long are they going to milk the corpse? I pray for a comeback, but it doesn’t look too likely. RIP ponytail!