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Urban Justice
DVD disk
11.05.2007 By: Mathew Plale
Urban Justice order
Director:
Don E. FauntLeRoy

Actors:
Steven Seagal
Eddie Griffin
Kirk B.R. Woller

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Steven Seagal kicks ass, takes a few names, and searches for his son's killer.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
How do you even review a Steven Seagal movie, given the recycled formula of lethal kicks and squinty eyes situated profusely in a one-man-army plot? Is there anything fresh to say after reviewing Flight of Fury just eight months ago?

Urban Justice (originally titled—and I’m not kidding—Once Upon a Time in the Hood) doesn’t put much effort into exceeding straight-to-DVD expectations, despite that, at a time—and I’m not kidding—being considered for theatrical release. This is the one that would’ve put Seagal back on a 30x70’ screen? What made this one almost worth the time and money? Surely it’s not Eddie Griffin…

Let me offer a synopsis of every scene, maybe save you some time: Simon (a very computer tech moniker for someone trained in aikido) questions random urbanities, “Who killed my son, mothafucka?” who strike back, “Fuck you, white boy,” and as a result, have their necks snapped by Simon. Throughout, we wish Simon’s son hadn’t been murdered. It’s not because we sympathize with the father, but moreso that Urban Justice couldn’t have been made, and thus would never have made it to my mailbox.

Since 2001, Seagal has released at least one film a year—2.7 per year, on average—take that Woody Allen! Of course, there must be a group of you that will find my snide remarks obvious and arrogant. I’m aware of the following Steven Seagal has (note: I neither understand nor endorse said following), and will say this to you: the hand-to-hand combat is the same as it ever was, and the one-liners are as cheesy as ever. Enjoy.

As for me, I’d still rather listen to his 2005 album, “Songs from the Crystal Cave” while gulping one of Lightning Bolt energy drinks.
THE EXTRAS
Previews.

Got lucky there, didn't we?
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
To Steven Seagal Fans: I'm sure you'll rent/buy this no matter what I say. Godspeed.

To Everyone Else: You already know better. Kudos.
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