Faring even more embarrassingly is that American Pie gal Tara Reid as Van’s waifish love interest (When an actress can’t even articulate the emotion ‘horny’, you’re looking at a bad actress). If you’re a fan of ‘generally cool actors humiliating themselves for a check’, you’ll no doubt delight in the myopic appearances of Tim Matheson, Paul Gleason and Curtis Armstrong. Look, this movie considers it funny that Erik Estrada showed up for a cameo. Erik Estrada! Not at all surprisingly, the writers – realizing that they’ve been stealing concepts whole from other (and better) comedies – opt late in the game to offer up Hollywood’s newest staple: the ‘oh my GOD is that disgusting’ gross-out gag. This time around the grossout gag involves a bulldog’s semen and a lot of donuts. If the description of that gag sounds like the pinnacle of all things hilarious, you should immediately run out and buy this DVD. Ah, and don’t go for all that “National Lampoon” stuff, either. The producers of Van Wilder (much like the producers of Senior Trip or those of any “NL” movie you may see on late-night cable) leased the “National Lampoon” label from the publication after the movie was already in the can waiting for release. All this in an attempt to somehow place this disposable yawnfest in the same league as the legendary Animal House. That kind of logic in infinitely more amusing than anything you’ll find in this lifeless farce.
Comedy Central’s Reel Comedy: Van Wilder is a brief puff-piece/interview/promo thing with no bare breasts whatsoever. You can logically conclude that this is a waste of time. The Music of Van Wilder is a collection of music tracks from the movie, or as I like to call these things: a commercial for the soundtrack. There’s an extensive compilation of ten deleted scenes, proof positive that if you shave a piece of crap you’re still left with a skinnier piece of crap. Also included are twelve outtakes, which are about as dry and unfunny as any outtakes you’re ever likely to see. We have a few featurettes labeled as “Burly Bear Specials”: Impostor, Half Baked, and Movie Junkie. All three are nothing more than various forms of promotional materials, delivered in that mercenary ‘sell this movie at any cost’ attitude so prevalent these days. If I explained that one has Reynolds and Reid cooking together and another features interviews given by a 14-year-old, does that make sitting through them sound more or less enjoyable? I leave it to you to decide.
But since this turkey is somehow supported by a TWO-disc DVD set, you can expect a whole lot more hot air: three theatrical trailers, three TV spots, an Artisan trailer gallery, a poster gallery, the “Van Wilder Files” production notes, and the requisite music video, this time featuring Sugarcult’s “Bouncing off the Walls”. Eagle-eyed tit freaks will enjoy scouring the menus for the various Easter Eggs that I didn’t search for. Just knowing that there’s even more Van Wilder material hidden on the disc is enough for me, thanks very much.