Deborah Kara Unger
Even the worst of horror movies normally at least have enough ďbooĒ scares and brainless entertainment to keep you engaged. WHITE NOISE is not only incredibly boring, but the ďbooĒ scares are limited to about two scenes, which arenít really scary, but simply use the highly creative act of having silence followed by something springing at you with a sudden scream. Unlike Arrow In The Head, I thought the opening credits were hardly stylish, the build-up predictable and dull, and the mystery about as enjoyable to watch as crapping your pants at a party. And to think, it actually goes downhill from that point. I donít mind logic being thrown out the window, but in this case, they took logic, shoved it up Uwe Bollís ass, and then tossed him through a closed window of a ten-story building, only to have him get impaled on a flagpole. In case you didnít notice, I didnít find it very logical. I wonít even get started on the (to put it nicely) laughable ending. Itís sad to think that a great actor like Michael Keaton has been reduced to asinine crap like this, not to mention that heís got HERBIE: FULLY LOADED coming up (whatís the deal man?). To make matters worse, Keaton was actually an unexciting (not to mention vacuous) lead here, so even his talents were wasted. Seriously, just skip this one altogether and let the unbearable static fade out.
Commentary (with director Geoffrey Sax and Michael Keaton): A surprisingly compelling commentary track that discusses the basics of making the movie and the ideas behind it. Itís not wonderful by any means, but if God forbid there are any fans out there, this should do just find.
Hearing is Believing: Actual EVP Sessions (14:08): We travel alongside two supposed ďexpertsĒ in the field of the paranormal while they try to contact the dead in two different locations. To be honest, this actually furthered my disbelief of the whole idea even more.
Making Contacts: EVP Experts (8:37): The same two ďexpertsĒ give us a deeper look at EVP, and the society of people that believe in it. While still completely unbelievable, it feels a bit more real than the previous featurette.
Recording the Afterlife at Home (4:25): Apparently this informs you how to contact the dead on your own, but it really felt like the couple was just telling us how they do it. I donít know many people willing to spend the money they obviously did in getting proper equipment to do something so pointless.