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Wild Hogs
DVD disk
08.17.2007 By: Sturdy
Wild Hogs order
Director:
Walt Becker

Actors:
John Travolta
Tim Allen
Martin Lawrence

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Four middle-aged men take a road trip on their motorcycles. Along the way, they encounter a ruthless motorcycle gang, a town in need, and various outdoor adventures. Somehow, they manage to rediscover themselves and overcome the challenges in front of them.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
As the credits rolled on this film, I found myself unable to verbalize what I had just witnessed. Rarely has a film come along that was so completely unbearable that it left me speechless, but WILD HOGS managed to do just that. So with careful deliberation and a thesaurus, I was able to collect myself enough to put in print the feelings I have towards this pitiful excuse for a movie.

First, letís take a look at the basic idea of the story, which as it turns out, isnít half bad if put into the hands of a moderately talented director or screenwriter. Unfortunately, neither were available for this movie. I like the idea of four middle-aged men going through a mid-life crisis and going on a road trip. I think most forty-something men go through that and there are a lot of funny, misadventures we could think of to put the characters through. When the opportunities arose for humor, the filmmakers ran in the opposite direction. WILD HOGS feels more like a bad, slapstick version of an episode of the A-Team with the guys stumbling into a small town thatís being terrorized by a biker gang. As far as comedic moments, there were none. They took every cheap laugh they could complete with the riders looking at something else and then getting knocked off their bikesÖseveral times.

However, you might be thinking that all of this is secondary because the cast is so great. You have two experienced comedians, one of the best character actors of our time and a proven superstar. Donít kid yourselves, aside from Tim Allen, all of the actors turn in the worst performance of their careers. And the only reason Tim Allen got a reprieve from that was because CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS was even worse. I actually like John Travolta, but he stunk up the screen every moment he was on it. He literally could not deliver one single line without making it feel uncomfortable and forced. Iím afraid heís a half step away from making LOOK WHOíS TALKING 4. The one slight redeeming performance was from Marisa Tomei, but all she had to do was stand there and look cute, which she does very well.

I can honestly say that thereís probably a good movie somewhere in here, but with second-rate directing and screenwriting and embarrassingly bad performances, they really had no chance. I constantly ask the question of whether or not directors watch the final product of the films they make. I would have to assume that if Walt Becker watched this, he would have known how bad it was and would have made some effort to fix/change or destroy it. The scariest part of the whole thing is that with the theatrical success, itís likely theyíre going to make a sequel to this.
THE EXTRAS
Commentary with Walt Becker and Brad Copeland: These guys spend more time watching their movie then they do talking about it. This would give credit to my theory theyíve never seen it before. I can only imagine they were too busy turning their heads in shame to actually comment on it, but I digress. This isnít a very good commentary because they donít offer enough information to make it worthwhile. There are a lot of long pauses that tend to make it drag.

Bikes, Brawls and Burning Bars (16:18): This was better than the actual movie, but thatís not saying much. It had a lot of gag-reel type moments, which can be funnier when spliced in with other footage. Overall, it was a decent featurette.

How to Get Your Wife to let You Buy a Motorcycle (2:48): This isnít what you think it is. Itís a montage of movie clips with a quick interview from the stunt coordinator. This also wins the misleading-title-for-a-featurette award.

Outtakes (2:33): Some of these are repeats from the featurette. At this point, it was worthless to have them as their own featurette since weíve already seen some of them. The rest were your typical outtakes.

There are also some Previews
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
I know WILD HOGS did moderately well in the theaters and Iím sure it will do decent on DVD. The stars alone will guarantee it will make some money. However, donít for one second believe that this movie is anything but horrible.
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