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Wild Things: Diamonds In The Rough
DVD disk
05.02.2005 By: The Shootin Surgeon
Wild Things: Diamonds In The Rough order
Director:
Jay Lowi

Actors:
Sarah Laine as Marie Clifton
Sandra McCoy as Elena
and Brad Johnson as Jay Clifton

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
In posh and sunny Blue Bay, spoiled brat Marie Clifton is about to turn 18 and has her eyes set on the inheritance she wants so badly for her step-father to give her rights to. Unfortunately for Marie, no sooner are the birthdays candles blown out that the step-dad gets busted for allegedly raping one of her classmates. Add to that the unsavoury characters lurking in the man's background and you have a recipe for treacherous double-crosses and other plans within plans within plans.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
No more than a paltry excuse to show young women in skimpy outfits and varying degrees of wetness, the drivel that is WILD THINGS: DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH can only be made worse by truly realizing that not only did the makers of this garbage not bother with even a mild attempt at injecting any freshness into the standard genre plot, but did not even bother to even slightly modify it from WILD THINGS 2 which itself, was a carbon copy rip-off of WILD THINGS. With two lead females who have the equivalent acting talent of that squirrel who lives in my backyard and whose main talents rest mainly upon their chests and a cast of buffoons whose previous roles included classics such as “Waitress”, “Girls at Party” and “The Actor Playing Phil”, this runaway train managed to cover every chapter in the bad moviemaker’s handbook.

I’m not sure exactly which type of audience this type of film is trying to reach anymore. I remember a time when B-movies and straight-to-video movie appealed t people who were out looking for funky plots that were too daring for the mainstream or for the cheesy fun that came with horror movies and film noirs. Nowadays it seems to be reaching out to horny kids who would be better served by the latest issue of Playboy (at least it has articles right?) or to sick people who still thing seeing two women make out is worth the detour. Are there still people out there like that? Am I simply so out of touch with today’s reality that I find it repulsive to put this filth before young and impressionable minds? Either way, there’s no point wasting much time in discussing this intestinal waste of a movie. It will join THE REAL CANCUN at the bottom of a special pile I have of movies that I don’t want to put up in my collection, that I refuse to even give away for fear of encouraging their making and that I can’t even be bothered to throw away. If anyone knows of a good way to recycle DVD’s and their packaging, please let me know, maybe this at least can be salvaged…

THE EXTRAS
Mercifully, we were spared further brain damage as no extras were to be found on this disc.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
Let's get straight to the point here: this film is shit. Don't buy it, don't rent it and better yet, if anyone asks, deny its very existence.
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