After his brother is gunned down in a tragic stepping (dancing) incident, a troubled youth from the streets is sent to college, where he falls in love with a girl who just happens to be dating the seven-time State Stepping Champion.

In other news, there is such a thing as state sanctioned stepping competitions.

STOMP THE YARD is bad, but not bad enough. I was hoping for an enjoyably terrible movie that I could make fun of with some friends and a few beers. In this case the alcohol just made us more depressed about what we were seeing.

If anything, STOMP THE YARD is clichéd beyond the point of enjoyment. The plot is the same as every movie set at college: New Guy must face off against Head Dude from Evil Fraternity in [insert random competition here] to win the heart of Hot Girlfriend with Disapproving Father. Columbus Short is a fine actor (as evidenced on “Studio 60”) but the character of DJ is pouty, arrogant and annoying. And because he’s such an ass, the romantic subplot comes off as DJ seeing an attractive girl and stalking her until she gives in to his advances.

It might seem like I’m oversimplifying things, but the movie pretty much did that for me. Symbolism and depth in STOMP THE YARD consists of the main character attending Truth University. (Subtle, eh?) The film also attempts to tackle serious issues such as class and racism but without any finesse. In a movie about rich, successful African Americans attending college, you’d think they’d be able to avoid stereotypes like black people eating fried chicken or dialogue such as “That’s straight up whack, yo!” and “Oh no he didn’t!” What’s worse is that director Sylvain White actually thinks he’s breakdancing down racial barriers with STOMP THE YARD. At the end of the movie you see a picture of people stepping, then it pulls back and shows a picture of Martin Luther King Jr., followed by a quote from the late civil rights leader about intelligence and education. Wait, I was supposed to be learning something while watching this?!

Even the one thing STOMP THE YARD potentially had going for it—the titular “stomping”— just isn’t that exciting or impressive. There are a few slick moves here and there but overall the dancing is just a lot of shaking and flailing extremities. I’m not saying I could bust a move any better myself, but the competitions seriously look like synchronized seizures. And without any real jaw-dropping dance sequences STOMP THE YARD doesn’t really have anything worth recommending.

Video: 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen: A good looking film, even if some of the dance scenes feel like Michael Bay on crystal meth.

Audio: Dolby Digital 5.1 surround. The non-stop hip hop soundtrack takes center stage in pretty much every scene. Unfortunately this includes a terrible rap version of Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy Train.”

I’m not trying to open up a can of worms here, but there are plenty of better dancing images from the film—why did they pick a cover picture that looks like a Nazi salute?

Commentary by director Sylvain White, editor David Chechel and cinematographer Scott Kevan: Honestly, not a bad commentary. White and company all speak intelligently about the film, especially when it comes to the music. And thankfully White answers the one question I had: Did DJ get butt raped during the montage? Turns out It was just a bit of harmless hazing, not a violent sex crime.

Battles, Rivals and Brothers (17:32): A documentary on the research and practice necessary to create a film on stepping. Some behind the scenes footage, some talking heads—nothing too extraordinary.

Deleted and Extended Scenes (5:56): Even more dancing packed in three short scenes.

Gag Reel (1:52): No painful dance mishaps.

Previews, including YOU GOT SERVED.

I know one shouldn’t equate quality with box office, but I’d like to remind you that STOMP THE YARD made more in its #1 opening weekend than GRINDHOUSE has in its entire theatrical run so far. In case you’re curious as to why this movie was such a hit, I can tell you it’s not worth renting it to find out. If you’re in the mood for hip hop dancing, try David LaChappelle’s much better documentary on the subject, RIZE.

Extra Tidbit:
Ebonics:
“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like, it's better than yours
Damn right, it's better than yours
I could teach you, but I’d have to charge.”

English:
"My frozen dairy treat brings all the male gender to the grassy area in the front of my residence. They say it is superior to yours. Yes, they are correct; it is far superior to yours. I could pass along this knowledge, but there would be a fee.”