A pair of cancer-stricken men decide to create a “bucket list” of things to do before they die.

THE BUCKET LIST exists for two reasons:
1) So Morgan Freeman can provide his trademark narration about life
2) So Jack Nicholson can act like Jack Nicholson and teach us about life.

Honestly, it’s not an awful movie; a palatable balance of “funny old guys doing young guy stuff” and obvious life lessons. It’s predictable and melodramatic, but it’s easy to watch (and over surprisingly fast), thanks to the chemistry between its stars. Freeman’s book smart mechanic is a nice balance to the wild and free-spirited Nicholson. And even sleepwalking through a role, Jack Nicholson still manages to be awesome. (“Things to remember: Never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard on, and never trust a fart.”)

Still, it’s almost insultingly generic and without a single surprise. Skydiving? Racing a car? Please. If I had a bucket list and Nicholson’s moolah, it’d be full of things like midget tossing, private Pink Floyd concerts, rolling around in a pile of baby pandas, and making Rob Reiner give a crap about directing again.

Video: 1.85:1 widescreen. The clear transfer makes the obvious greenscreen stuff a lot more noticeable.

Audio: 5.1 Dolby Digital surround. Mmmmm…Morgan Freeman narration in rich surround sound.

This bucket might as well be empty.

Writing a Bucket List (4:53): Writer Justin Zackham talks about the inspiration for the movie (based on his real life list) and also spends a fair amount of time plugging his cash-in book called “Bucket Lists.”

John Mayer “Say” Music Video (3:59): That’s enough, John Mayer.

THE BUCKET LIST is the kind of movie my parents and grandparents would probably love. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but if you’re not easily amused by something schmaltzy you’ve seen a hundred times before, I’d wait til cable.

Extra Tidbit: If Carter’s son looks familiar, it’s because he’s Morgan Freeman’s real life offspring.