Following a cornea transplant, Sydney Wells (Alba) is haunted by images of fire and impending death...Whose eyes are these?!

Move over, Sarah Michelle Gellar, another Maxim favorite wants a turn to ruin their unearned career with a lazy, PG-13 Asian horror remake! This time around, Jessica Alba is the one haunted by gurgling ghastly figures and hyperactive editing in The Eye, a remake of the Pang Bros.’ 2002 Hong Kong fright-flick.

Alba stars as Sydney Wells, a solo violinist who went blind at age 5 after a firecracker mishap with her older sister, Helen (Parker Posey, who should stick to her indies). After a much-needed cornea transplant, Sydney’s sight is restored and tada!, she’s subjected to images of the previous owners’ nightmares and final moments, forcing her onto the couch of a hunky (we know this because he sports a five o’clock shadow) therapist named Paul (Alessandro Nivola). And, as it goes, she wants the operation reversed (so much so she dons a dishtowel over her eyes in protest), nobody believes her (even Alba’s coughing was unconvincing), the twists ensue, and blah-blah-blah until we slowly reach the anticlimactic climax.

I sound bitter, I know, but I’m past the age of enjoyment for this sort of movie. And those that are ripe for Lionsgate’s pickin’ (read: middle-schoolers) aren’t forced to sit through this phony crap. But on the up side, at least I don’t have to fork over $18 to watch my girlfriend huddle knees-to-chin under her sweatshirt when those tired J-horror staples (ie demonic children) flash onscreen every ten minutes.

Video: 2.35:1 Anamorphic Widescreen. The colors here are strong and dark--perfect for the atmosphere.

Audio: Dolby Digital 5.1; Spanish 2.0. "English Descriptive Audio Service," English/Spanish subtitles, and English closed captions are included.

Disc One:

Deleted Scenes: There are eight here that can be viewed as a bunch or individually. Your best option? Not viewing them at all.

Birth of the Shadowman (1:38) is a very brief look at animator/actor Brett Haworth’s representation of Death.

Becoming Sydney (4:47): Jessica Alba sits down, along with others, to discuss her in portraying both a concert violinist and blind person. Only for those who don’t take Alba has a joke.

Shadow World: Seeing the Dead (8:31) is actually a very interesting look at the paranormal relationship between a transplant patient and their donor. The best feature of the bunch.

The Eye: An Explosive Finale (6:08): The final minutes of The Eye are the focus here, from preparations (with toy cars, of course) to the one-chance shot the filmmakers had to nail it.

The Theatrical Trailer and Promos round out Disc One.

Disc Two houses the Digital Copy of The Eye.

If you're a fan of The Grudge (and it's sequel), The Ring, and/or One Missed Call, then The Eye will be right up your alley. Those that aren't...stay far, far away!