A cop who specializes in strange cases is called in to investigate a rash of deaths targeting a group of followers of a man who claims to be Christ. Things tense up when the murders are traced back to a strange monastery and an ancient relic.

This is not a good movie. It’s unfortunate that this isn’t a good movie because its predecessor – THE CRIMSON RIVERS – was and when expectations are set this high, the fall is just that much more painful. The fall in this case ended with the resounding “thud” of a movie that tried to play on dark, mystical angle but instead ended up being some weird combination of a music video, a gothic wire-fu action flick and an episode of The X-Files without the cute redhead. The one fortunate thing is that I was able to tell about five minutes in where this was going. I’m not talking as much about the plot being predictable that the whole “aura” of the movie and where it was trying to go. Were it not for the fact that I have to write this drivel up afterwards, I would gladly have quit while I was ahead but be warned that if you get stuck with this bomb and feel like pulling the ripcord a halfway through, you’ll be doing the right thing. The only thing I got out of this movie was the knowledge that Christopher Lee (played to perfection by the Wizard Saruman!) speaks better French than all Montrealers combined!

What really bugged me the most though was that I’m a huge Jean Reno fan but I’m starting to realize that he suffers from crapagentitis and that at least one out of every two films he stars in… suck. Magimel was pretty entertaining as the requisite young rebel cop that Vincent Cassel (a.k.a. Mr. Monica Bellucci) played in the first movie. Aside from these two and Lee, I was only moved by the nurse at the hospital’s front desk and by that time I was grasping at anything to save me from the ridicule of this story. I’m personally starting to get a bit fed up out of movies that play on people’s newfound cynicism when it comes to anything to do with religion and religious themes. If these filmmakers think they’re original or are attempting to be controversial, they should look around at about 70% of the films coming out nowadays in which at least one line of dialogue is dedicated to just that. Either way, this movie was too lame to be considered either original or controversial and it’s unfortunately too lame for us to even enjoy an actor of Reno’s magnitude. Leave it on the shelf and prepare to beg for mercy in case some studio exec in Paris gets Crimson Rivers 3 plopped down on his desk.

Video: The movie is presented in anamorphic widescreen (2.32:1) and “mastered in high definition.” I clearly remember at least one shot that had a bit of red in it and one shot with a bit of green in it but as far as the rest goes, you’re ok with a black and white set. I exaggerate of course but there isn’t a lot of color in the film. The quality of the picture however is very high.

Audio: The original language is French but an English track is also present on the disc. Both are delivered in a very crisp Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround environment and the loud techno music sequences offer the highest “neighbor disturbance” levels.

Although the offerings aren’t necessarily plentiful, they are however quite good. It starts off with The Making of Crimson Rivers 2: Angels of the Apocalypse (70 mins), a making of feature that is loosely split up into different shots of the film and contains tons of on-set footage. There are a few interviews with cast members, director Dahan and other members of the filmmaking crew and although there’s no real nugget of information that stood out, it’s still much better than the usual standard issue studio fluff.

The longer feature is followed by a set of Five Behind-the-Scenes Featurettes focusing on Lighting (5 mins), Weapons (7 mins), Design (5 mins), Corpses (5 mins) and Sound Design (5 mins). They’re short but nonetheless pretty entertaining. My personal favorite was the Weapons featurette in which the film’s weapons specialist explains the wide variety of guns used in the film’s shootouts.

There’s also a small clip of a deleted scene entitled Deleted Scene: Strip Bar (1 min). It takes pace in a strip bar where a very hot stripper is dancing. Reno and Magimel are also in the scene but then again, so is the very hot stripper!

With the high expectations set by the first movie in this series, the disappointment of CRIMSON RIVERS 2 may linger for a while and while I’m sure some will find enjoyment in this film, the dark, stark thing just didn’t work as well as it was obviously intended to for me. If you’re looking for a good cop flick with an original theme and some nice cinematography, stick to CRIMSON RIVERS and ditch the “2”.