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Strike Back Below!

The Mighty Peking Man (1977)

Director: Meng Hua Ho
Stars: Evelyne Kraft, Danny Lee, Feng Ku

Is there a plot?

What's the damage?

How much fun would it be to get paid to dress up in a monkey costume and rampage across a miniature town? I bet it’d be a blast. It’s also the only reason I can imagine this movie got made. Some studio exec was under the influence of some substance and decided it’d be fun to trample Hong Kong and write it off as a company expense.

After Susie Derkins grew up, Hobbes forgot all about Calvin.

THE MIGHTY PEKING MAN is a shameless ripoff of KING KONG in every way…except with Chinese people and a non-existent budget. It was the Shaw Brothers’ answer to the U.S.-made 1976 remake by Dino DeLaurentis and pretty much every plot point is taken exactly from Merrian C. Cooper’s classic story. Although since they for some reason keep referring to the monster as “Peking Man” instead of “Giant Ass Monkey,” I’m guessing he’s supposed to just be some tall hairy dude and not a gorilla.

Mighty Peking Man…or Danny Trejo. You decide.

Look at that face. The ape costume wasn’t made by Rick Baker, that’s for sure. The man-in-suit factor is high here; the guy in the costume doesn’t even bother to imitate a monkey and the rampage scenes are just him smashing obvious toy cars and Tinker Toy buildings against a green screen. You know it’s bad when your special effects look less believable than the original movie made almost 50 years before.

Whenever Herman was feeling down, he always had the uncanny sense that the universe was about to give him a hand.

Though none of that really matters since Utam a.k.a. Peking Man is barely a character in his own movie. The filmmakers care more about the hot Tarzan girl in animal skins (who could blame them?) played by Swiss hottie Evelyne Kraft. Her arc in the movie is so worthless it’s hilarious though. First, she immediately falls in love with the visiting Chinese hero in a super cheesy romantic subplot (they make out and swing leopards around), before abandoning everything she knows to go back with him to Hong Kong along with her giant ape friend. Once they get back our hero decides he’s embarrassed of tapping non-Asian tail and dumps her for his ex-girlfriend. Alone and betrayed in a foreign land, Hot Jungle Girl runs away crying and immediately gets raped. (Yep.) Eventually she hooks up with Peking Man again, who is busy destroying the city, and is either killed or severely injured. Welcome to civilization!

This sounds like a euphemism, but this guy is really sucking the poison out of that girl’s snake bite.

Other highlights of the endlessly cheesy flick include horrible Asian disco music and a tiger attack where the giant cat is obviously not attacking, but trying to run away while the actors attempt to hold it in the shot. One last bizarre point: you can thank Quentin Tarantino for this gem, since he spearheaded its re-release in America. Definitely the most worthy film in all of Asian cinema.

"Best" Line

In the midst of Peking Man’s terrifying rampage on Hong Kong we have this lovely domestic exchange.

"Best" Parts

1) Mighty Peking Man: Rape Avenger!

2) Now this is what I want in my giant ape movie: a cheesy montage where the couple shows their love for each other by swinging large cats.

3) Watch this tiger attack and see how the actors are obviously just playfully wrestling with the tiger and trying to hold it in frame.

Nudity Watch

Some quick flashes and nipple slips here and there. Apparently a full topless shot was cut from the American release.

Enjoyableness Continuum:

Appreciate Peter Jackson! Buy this movie here!

Play Along at Home!

Take a shot or drink every time:

• Green screen is used
• A nameless character is killed
• There’s a cheesy song

Double shot when:

• An elephant cries

Thanks to Ryan and Jeremy for suggesting this week’s movie!

Seen a movie that should be featured on this column? Shoot Jason an email and give him an excuse to drink.