DVD Clinic

Awfully Good #90
August 26, 2009

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Source: DVD Clinic

By: Jason Adams

In honor of Hiyao Miyazaki’s new film PONYO, we take a look at one of Studio Ghibli’s lesser known efforts.

Pom Poko(1994)

Director: Isao Takahata
Stars: Shinchô Kokontei, Makoto Nonomura, Yuriko Ishida

Is there a plot?

A group of mythical Japanese raccoon dogs with magical testicles fight against the evil society who threaten to tear down their forest.

What's the damage?

I honestly do feel bad using POM POKO for this column since it’s not a bad movie. It’s beautifully executed with a moving story, which is no surprise considering it comes from Japanese animation master Hiyao Miyazaki’s Studio Ghibli. But any guilt I feel is quickly and immaturely distinguished when I remember that POM POKO is a movie about shape shifting raccoons who uses their magical ball sacks to fight environmental injustice. There’s something beautiful about this plot that deserves special recognition.

Just think of how much better Disney’s POCAHONTAS would’ve been had this screenshot been taken from it.

It’s not even hidden or delicately handled in any way. All the main characters have very noticeable and distinguished nut sacks that hang down in plain sight. These dangly teabags (or “pouches” as they call them in the English dub) are magical and can infinitely extend and take pretty much any shape imaginable–from frogs to hot air balloons. Think Clayface in Batman, except balls. They even use them to fight, which provides us with a delightful sequence in which raccoons beat a group of Japanese soldiers to death with their gonads. (Best Parts below, natch.)

People keep heaping praise on this Miyazaki dude’s “beautiful” animation. I don’t get it.

The raccoons, or tanukis, are kinda cute when they’re not running around playing with their scrotes. Their main hobbies include partying and eating tempura. Just don’t piss them off because they can be vicious and spiteful in addition to cuddly. A good majority of this kids movie is just the raccoons using their time teste-d powers to torture people, even killing a few innocent civilians with their supernatural huevos. This goes along with the film’s intense whatever-it-takes environmental message, which is strong enough to give Al Gore a stiffy and a reacharound.

This movie was made in 1994. Japanese fashion hasn’t changed much, has it?

Which means POM POKO is about eco-terrorist raccoons with weaponized junk. God bless the Japanese.

"Best" Line

The raccoons sing an empowering song about how great their nads are.

"Best" Parts

1) I never thought I’d write this, but here’s a montage of all the film’s best raccoon testicle moments, culminating in what can only be described as an epic kamikaze battle between man and furry sack. (With bonus hilarious final line.)

2) I’m not trying to promote drug use, but you may need some sort of substance for this clip. Seriously, what are the Japanese smoking?! It’s like a bad acid trip on film.