MY SCRITS

[Bloody_Knife]

Ok, I trust you guys on this site a lot. But, before I post my script, I need to ask you all which script I should post, I'll put the title and what the movie is about. Tell me which one you think sounds better.


Corpses--- The last eight people in the world are surrounded by the dead in a construction site. The helicopter is low on gas. But the good thing is, they are on a plaza with food and a mall! But how long will it be before the dead breaks in. The Dead always find a way.

Dead--- A deadly oil explosion causes the dead to come back to life. And terrorizes a group of people in a school and that leads to the climax, onto of a plateau in the middle of the desert with the military.

Child's Play (remake) [rough draft]--- A modern remake to Child's play. A boy gets a doll for his birthday and finds out that it has been possessed by a killer.

The Cops of Burnside {short} [rough draft]---Policemen go on a random killing spree after they THINK that a sunburn virus has been released, killing everyone they see. Now people must try to escape from the town before they die.

Halloween 10 [Rough draft]--- Michael breaks into the Haddonfield hospital and finds a file of a close relative, and he also finds out that he never killed Laurie or Jamie. Now Michael is angrier than ever and chases the whole family to Las Vegas.

Jason vs. Ash [Rough Draft]--- Jason has been told by demons to go to Ash’s cabin to kill bad teenagers. Ash has been forced back to the cabin by the demons, and there are teens and family’s on their way up to the cabin. Now, not only does ash have to fight the Demons, he has to fight the hardest fight ever, Jason Voorhees, and Jason has his on problems with the demons… LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!!!

Pain & Desire [Rough Draft] --- A boy is madly in love with a girl. So he goes to HER house and finds out she’s crazy. Now him and his friend are trapped in the crazy girl’s mansion with her crazy dogs and he wild voodoo.

Scream on Halloween if you know what I did on Elm Street last Friday the 13th while chucky and leprechaun were watching final destination with the Texas chainsaw massacre and Norman Bates was digging in pet Sematary [rough draft] --- A comedy of all of the serial killers with their own story.

Shadow Man [Rough draft] {short}--- A demon takes shadow form and stalks teenagers.

Shadow Man 2: The Return of the Shadow Man [Rough Draft] {short}--- The Shadow Man stalks more victims in a town.

Shadow Man 3: The End of the Shadow Man [Rough Draft] {short}--- The shadow man finds it’s last victims and goes on a killing spree, but finds it’s end.

R.L. Stein’s Zombie Town {short}--- A boy and his friend go to see a movie, when they leave the theater, the town is infected by zombies, and the boy is the only one left.

[Deadite914]

pain and desire sounds interesting. I be interested in reading it.

[X-Nightcrawler]

Why make a trilogy of one-after-the-other shorts instead of making a full-lenght script?

Anyways, there's a filmmaking/screenwriting section for this kind of threads.

[zombievictim]

No offense or anything but these sound pretty childish. Michael chases Jamie and Laurie to Vegas? Cops start killing people because of a virus. Zombies rise and people must take refuge in a mall? Sounds like Dawn of the Dead.

I don't want to sound mean because I myself am a screenwriter and its frustrating when people critisize my work but I'm just trying to help.

Oh yeah I did like the idea for Corpses though. Mainly because I'd love to see a different version of people in a mall with zombie mayhem.

[adamjohnson]

Corpses--- The last eight people in the world are surrounded by the dead in a construction site. The helicopter is low on gas. But the good thing is, they are on a plaza with food and a mall! But how long will it be before the dead breaks in. The Dead always find a way.
----------------

Dawn of the Dead rip off. No.

Dead--- A deadly oil explosion causes the dead to come back to life. And terrorizes a group of people in a school and that leads to the climax, onto of a plateau in the middle of the desert with the military.
----------
No.

Child's Play (remake) [rough draft]--- A modern remake to Child's play. A boy gets a doll for his birthday and finds out that it has been possessed by a killer.
-----------
Really no.

The Cops of Burnside {short} [rough draft]---Policemen go on a random killing spree after they THINK that a sunburn virus has been released, killing everyone they see. Now people must try to escape from the town before they die.
----------
Meh,.

Halloween 10 [Rough draft]--- Michael breaks into the Haddonfield hospital and finds a file of a close relative, and he also finds out that he never killed Laurie or Jamie. Now Michael is angrier than ever and chases the whole family to Las Vegas.
----------
Really no.

Jason vs. Ash [Rough Draft]--- Jason has been told by demons to go to Ash’s cabin to kill bad teenagers. Ash has been forced back to the cabin by the demons, and there are teens and family’s on their way up to the cabin. Now, not only does ash have to fight the Demons, he has to fight the hardest fight ever, Jason Voorhees, and Jason has his on problems with the demons… LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!!!
------------
Really no.

Pain & Desire [Rough Draft] --- A boy is madly in love with a girl. So he goes to HER house and finds out she’s crazy. Now him and his friend are trapped in the crazy girl’s mansion with her crazy dogs and he wild voodoo.
--------------
Ehhhhh, depends on where you take it.

Scream on Halloween if you know what I did on Elm Street last Friday the 13th while chucky and leprechaun were watching final destination with the Texas chainsaw massacre and Norman Bates was digging in pet Sematary [rough draft] --- A comedy of all of the serial killers with their own story.
-----------

No. Been done.

Shadow Man [Rough draft] {short}--- A demon takes shadow form and stalks teenagers.

Shadow Man 2: The Return of the Shadow Man [Rough Draft] {short}--- The Shadow Man stalks more victims in a town.

Shadow Man 3: The End of the Shadow Man [Rough Draft] {short}--- The shadow man finds it’s last victims and goes on a killing spree, but finds it’s end.
-----------
Combine!

R.L. Stein’s Zombie Town {short}--- A boy and his friend go to see a movie, when they leave the theater, the town is infected by zombies, and the boy is the only one left.
---------
No.

[Bloody_Knife]

Originally posted by zombievictim
No offense or anything but these sound pretty childish. Michael chases Jamie and Laurie to Vegas? Cops start killing people because of a virus. Zombies rise and people must take refuge in a mall? Sounds like Dawn of the Dead.

I don't want to sound mean because I myself am a screenwriter and its frustrating when people critisize my work but I'm just trying to help.

Oh yeah I did like the idea for Corpses though. Mainly because I'd love to see a different version of people in a mall with zombie mayhem.

Corpses isn't about a mall, it's a construction site surrounded by cement walls and fences. And it WILL sound childish because I'm only 15 and when I wrote Halloween 10, The Brother, Cops of burnside, and the shadowman series, I was 10-12

[zombievictim]

Originally posted by Bloody_Knife
Corpses isn't about a mall, it's a construction site surrounded by cement walls and fences. And it WILL sound childish because I'm only 15 and when I wrote Halloween 10, The Brother, Cops of burnside, and the shadowman series, I was 10-12

15! No way! Same here. But that's not really much of an excuse to write like a child because you can still push yourself. I've never tried ripping something off so much. I wrote some crappy script that was sort of like Saw just so I can do a movie for a class of mine buts thats as far as I've gone.

I wouldn't mind exchanging ideas on some of your scripts and such. If you have msn messanger my email is truestoriesimadeup@hotmail.com

I'd be happy to talk to you about your scripts and anything else on there. If you don't have messanger (which I doubt since you're a teen) then just email me.

[Bloody_Knife]

Originally posted by zombievictim
15! No way! Same here. But that's not really much of an excuse to write like a child because you can still push yourself. I've never tried ripping something off so much. I wrote some crappy script that was sort of like Saw just so I can do a movie for a class of mine buts thats as far as I've gone.

I wouldn't mind exchanging ideas on some of your scripts and such. If you have msn messanger my email is truestoriesimadeup@hotmail.com

I'd be happy to talk to you about your scripts and anything else on there. If you don't have messanger (which I doubt since you're a teen) then just email me.

Yes, I'm 15 but I was WAY younger when I wrote a lot of those. When I was 14 I wrote Dead and corpses and Pain & Desire I wrote when I turned 15.

[X-Nightcrawler]

Hold on for a minute now.

Halloween 10 . . . scene in Vegas. You wouldn't happen to be the fourth re-incarnation of that schmoe who kept coming, talking about his screenplays ("Omg I'll write a The Birds remake wut do u think!!!"). michael_myers_6 or something like that he was called . . . He talked about a Halloween 10 screenplay with that very plot.

[Juice]

Originally posted by Bloody_Knife
Corpses--- The last eight people in the world are surrounded by the dead in a construction site. The helicopter is low on gas. But the good thing is, they are on a plaza with food and a mall! But how long will it be before the dead breaks in. The Dead always find a way.

Dawn of the Dead rip off.

Dead--- A deadly oil explosion causes the dead to come back to life. And terrorizes a group of people in a school and that leads to the climax, onto of a plateau in the middle of the desert with the military.

Make it a fun splattercomedy and it's not a bad idea.

Child's Play (remake) [rough draft]--- A modern remake to Child's play. A boy gets a doll for his birthday and finds out that it has been possessed by a killer.

Why?

The Cops of Burnside {short} [rough draft]---Policemen go on a random killing spree after they THINK that a sunburn virus has been released, killing everyone they see. Now people must try to escape from the town before they die.

Interesting villians (since they're innocent), but not very realistic.

Halloween 10 [Rough draft]--- Michael breaks into the Haddonfield hospital and finds a file of a close relative, and he also finds out that he never killed Laurie or Jamie. Now Michael is angrier than ever and chases the whole family to Las Vegas.

Nobody needs another Halloween sequel.

Jason vs. Ash [Rough Draft]--- Jason has been told by demons to go to Ash’s cabin to kill bad teenagers. Ash has been forced back to the cabin by the demons, and there are teens and family’s on their way up to the cabin. Now, not only does ash have to fight the Demons, he has to fight the hardest fight ever, Jason Voorhees, and Jason has his on problems with the demons… LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!!!

Could be good if you don't make it Freddy vs Jason style.

Pain & Desire [Rough Draft] --- A boy is madly in love with a girl. So he goes to HER house and finds out she’s crazy. Now him and his friend are trapped in the crazy girl’s mansion with her crazy dogs and he wild voodoo.

Could be good if you make it a brilliant character study.

Scream on Halloween if you know what I did on Elm Street last Friday the 13th while chucky and leprechaun were watching final destination with the Texas chainsaw massacre and Norman Bates was digging in pet Sematary [rough draft] --- A comedy of all of the serial killers with their own story.

No. Also, the title reminds me of Shriek if you know what I did last Friday the 13th, which is a bad thing.

Shadow Man [Rough draft] {short}--- A demon takes shadow form and stalks teenagers.

No.

Shadow Man 2: The Return of the Shadow Man [Rough Draft] {short}--- The Shadow Man stalks more victims in a town.

Yes, this is brilliant.

Shadow Man 3: The End of the Shadow Man [Rough Draft] {short}--- The shadow man finds it’s last victims and goes on a killing spree, but finds it’s end.

...

R.L. Stein’s Zombie Town {short}--- A boy and his friend go to see a movie, when they leave the theater, the town is infected by zombies, and the boy is the only one left.

Is this actually based on an R. L. Stine story? If so, no.

[darchangel]

Originally posted by X-Nightcrawler
Hold on for a minute now.

Halloween 10 . . . scene in Vegas. You wouldn't happen to be the fourth re-incarnation of that schmoe who kept coming, talking about his screenplays ("Omg I'll write a The Birds remake wut do u think!!!"). michael_myers_6 or something like that he was called . . . He talked about a Halloween 10 screenplay with that very plot.


<has heart attack at MM6 reference>



~darchangel~

[Bloody_Knife]

so... if you want to read one, PM me.

[rodvcpetrie]

Corpses--- The last eight people in the world are surrounded by the dead in a construction site. The helicopter is low on gas. But the good thing is, they are on a plaza with food and a mall! But how long will it be before the dead breaks in. The Dead always find a way.

Even though its at a construction site it is still too similar to Dawn of the Dead. I see this as some straight to DVD film if it was made.

Dead--- A deadly oil explosion causes the dead to come back to life. And terrorizes a group of people in a school and that leads to the climax, onto of a plateau in the middle of the desert with the military.

Why does the pack of zombies terrorise a school? Do they look at a map and decide to go there? I think you'd need to have a plausible reason to set it in a school and how the zombies happen to get there.

Halloween 10 [Rough draft]--- Michael breaks into the Haddonfield hospital and finds a file of a close relative, and he also finds out that he never killed Laurie or Jamie. Now Michael is angrier than ever and chases the whole family to Las Vegas.

Does he play Blackjack while he's there? "Hit or Stay Motherfucker!!"

Shadow Man [Rough draft] {short}--- A demon takes shadow form and stalks teenagers.

Unless you want a lawsuit from Acclaim or whoever owns the rights to the character of Shadowman, you should rename this title.

My suggestion? Pick out one script and concentrate on that. When you write that one, put it away and start on another. Do research on things plus don't settle for the first premise that comes into your head; work at it until you get the best one you can.

Whatever you do, don't waste your writing time on properties that you don't own the rights to.

[darchangel]

Originally posted by Bloody_Knife
so... if you want to read one, PM me.


you should answer X's question...ARE you MM6?


and as for the majority of the script ideas...no.




~darchangel~

[speed_rebel]

Pain and desire all the way. All the others seem watered down and done before. Post the first couple of pages, so we can see where your going with it.