A fair description of House of the Dead

[Bear]

Now, this movie has gotten shat upon by horror fans around the globe, and for good reason: it sucks! It's boring! It's based on a videogame! However, I will say that some people are treating it a little unfairly. Please read further to see what I mean. People call it 'the worst horror film ever made.' This statement SCREAMS 'I don't know much history about horror movies.' Or at least that's the way I see it. Sure, it dsid really suck, but I have to say it's one of the better German horror movies. Now, when I say that, what I mean is 'I'm comparing it to Burning Moon and Violent SHit' where many would agree with me on this. To be honest, and I am being VERY genrous by saying positive things, the gore effects aren't too bad. I have definitely seen a fuck of a lot worse. And it does throw in some pointless nudity whcih i always appreciate. THis is the end of the positives list, on with the many negatives. the movie really suffers from being based on a game. Not that I'm saying ther'es a whole lot wrong with that (yet most movies of this nature blow) I'm just saying 'I watched this because I want to see a movie, not fucking video game footage!!!!!' THe video game footage was really unneeded and pissed me off. If i wanted to see video game footage I'd go to my local movie theatre and play Hous eof the Dead there. And it's really fucking boring too. The characters I couldn't give less of a shit about. And pretty much everything else is bad. This is really sad because i loved the game, it's one of my arcade favorites, and this movie really makes it look bad.

[solis_snake]

Well, there are definetly worst movies out there... the thing about this one (to me) compared to ALONE IN THE DARK, is that HOTD has cheese dumbness all over it, in other words, it's too bad to take it seriously... AITD was bad too, but tried to be serious and it failed hard...

Haven't seen BLOODRAYNE yet, though I think that one might be cool, I dunno...

[Bear]

Yeah. Alone in the Dark I once mistook fro the far superior slash flick of the same name from 1982.

[solis_snake]

I've heard that ALONE... is a good one...

I don't know what's with Uwe Boll. I think he has a literature degree or something... but what was he thinking ("Man, this is ganna be a kickass zombie movie" or maybe "Man, this is gonna be a kickass videogame adaptation... fuck Resident Evil")

I'm just wondering... and God (if there is one) Don't let him do METAL GEAR SOLID nor SOUL REAVER.... NEVER... or I'll have him killed...

Just kidding... but still... UWE STAY AWAY FROM VIDEO GAME ADAPTAIONS... OR TRY "POSTAL"... I actually see him doin' it... That one could be cool...

[Weird_Kitty_Cat]

House of the Dead inserted actual clips from the videogame. as a film-maker, i almost threw up at this.

-meghan

[Bear]

which is one of the reasons I hate it as well. I swear to Christ if he does Manhunt.....

[EvilErnie]

HOTD is not based on the video game. It uses the name and some of the graphics (oh god badbadbad). Story completely off, characters etc. You may not like Resident Evil or Silent Hill, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say they're MUCH better than HOTD. Video game based movies can be done decently. Uwe Boll is the problem here, and he does a lot of 'em for no reason I can tell. This guy still gets work? I can think of half a dozen directors that coulda turned HOTD into a franchise that actually made money and didn't embarass itself.

[solis_snake]

Resident Evil (8.5/10) and Silent Hill (9/10) are indeed much better than HOTD (5.5/10), can't really compare actually...

The funny thing with HOTD again is that it's unintentionally funny!!! awfully funny, so bad it's good funny...

Shoulda been different though. Especially since the HOTD games are actually good and so much fun to play on the arcades...

My top ten of videogames to flix would be... (there isn't much to choose from, so... it's more like a top ten of vg to flix... ahh fuck it...)

1_SILENT HILL
2_RESIDENT EVIL
3_FINAL FANTASY: THE SPIRITS WITHIN
4_FINAL FANTASY VII: ADVENT CHILDREN (I'm a FF fan)
5_MORTAL KOMBAT
6_RESIDENT EVIL 2: APOCALYPSE
7_BLOODRAYNE
8_HOTD
9_STREET FIGHTER
10_MARIO BROTHERS
11_ALONE IN THE DARK

Don't know if AVP counts... so...

The first 5... good... the rest, very crappy... the 11th... awful...

If I'm forgetting one put it...

Looking forward to:

MAX PAYNE... DUNGEON SIEGE (God, I hope Uwe does it right this time, at least better...) and SHADOWMAN (I don't think it will ever get made... but still)

NOTE: I know this isn't a thread about videogames to flix... but since Uwe Boll has done a lot of damage to them, I figured I could put it...

Keep on rocking!!!

[Bourne101]

I own it, and I have not sweet fuckin' clue why. It is a fuckin' stupid ass movie, but definitly not the worst horror movie ever. No horror movie will ever be as fucking terrible and agonising as a movie some of you may not of heard of called CUT.

[Regan]

The acting in the movie was just terrible.The black girl in it is quite possibly the most unconvincing actress(lol actress) I have ever seen.

[EvilErnie]

try Vampires vs. Zombies (yes thats the title) Just saw it and it quickly went to the top of my so bad its good list. Shot on video. A horde of zombie catholic schoolgirls. Worst continuity EVER. The list goes on...

[TATU]

If you people thought House Of the Dead or Zombies vs. Vampires were the most poorly made pieces of shit ever commited to celluloid, well, in the immortal words of Judas Priest, "you've gotta nother thing comin'"

http://www.critcononline.com/images/night%20of%20horror%20vhs%20front2.jpg

http://www.critcononline.com/images/night%20of%20horror%20vhs%20back2.jpg

I strongly urge each and every one of you to rent this reprehensible piece of trash and attempt to find even one redeeming quality about it.

Good luck.

[Bear]

you're far too late. I saw that one 2 years ago and it blew! One of the worst.

[jaw2929]

I'll always defend House of the Dead and say that while it's not the greatest Horror movie ever, it was FAR better than a lot of 'em out there, and kept me entertained throughout... I can't ask for much more really, and I really liked "House"... :p

[syxxpac]

Originally posted by Trail_Blazer
I'll always defend House of the Dead and say that while it's not the greatest Horror movie ever, it was FAR better than a lot of 'em out there, and kept me entertained throughout... I can't ask for much more really, and I really liked "House"... :p

That's a GENEROUS description. A FAIR description is more like...

http://www.buten.com/bobopolis/wu/pictures/rest1.gif

[X-Nightcrawler]

Originally posted by syxxpac
That's a GENEROUS description. A FAIR description is more like...

http://www.buten.com/bobopolis/wu/pictures/rest1.gif You and your generosity. If you want to be fair, keep the stick.

[KillerKlown]

Here's a fair description:

I'ts fucking shite.

[Bud Bundy]

I actually got a real kick out of that movie.

I thought the characters were no worse than what we see in a lot of other movies, just interchangeable bodies, but at least you had the Asian chick in the skin-tight outfit and the other chick with the cleavage. The scenes where they were plinking zombies out of the water was great fun! For the negative, some of the dialogue was hopelessly stupid, especially at the beginning when they were renting the boat. And when the harbor master was chasing the boat. And when Ewe gets to ripping off Matrix camera gimmicks, oh-my-god...that was as freakin' hilarious as it gets. Like, lets stop the movie completely while Ewe masturbates with the cinematography.

Like I said over at the IMDB, watching an Ewe Boll movie is like watching a retarded kid pick his nose and eat his own boogers - it's as pitiful as it gets, but you just can't help watching and laughing.

[Emo]

The worst horror movie ive ever seen is the canadian "gem" called Mindkiller