They cant hear you you jackoff!

[jackson13]

So I see 'pulse' yesterday. Good movie. Was impressed by how close they kept it to the original.

Anyways, its a 5pm showing, pretty empty theater. Previews start rolling and here come the late comers. Big group of high school kids. And where do they sit of course, right behind me. Take up the whole row.

Now I kinda sensed there would be a problem during the movie with them because right when they sat down I heard a girl say "who gives a shit about being quiet, the movie aint started yet."

Sure enough, once the first scare into the movie happens about 6 of them just shout out "OH SNAP!"

Now, it needs to be mentioned, these were all black high school kids, so they werent exactly speaking like educated people. I'm not saying that has anything to do with their color, because you talk to just about any high school kid and you'll want to slap them for speaking like a retard.


Anyways, throughout the rest of the movie I had to deal with some of the most dumbass comments I've ever heard, all directed at the characters on screen, as if they would suddenly turn and look into the crowd and say "THANK YOU DUDE IN THE 3RD ROW FROM THE TOP, YOU SAVED MY LIFE."

Stuff like: "Oh shit, dat bitch best get outta der. Run bitch run! dont stop! fuckin white bitch. oh shit, she blonde too. blonde and white. she bout to get all fucked up!" or "damn, da dude is gettin sucked into da wall. shit thats fucked up. why didnt dat white guy help him? cracka ass just stood there lookin gay."

It felt just like how Jay in 40 Year Old Virgin was talking while watching Dawn of the Dead - "Fuck that nigga up! Bitch get out da room! Bitch get out da room! "



I just wanted to turn around and slap the shit out of all of them and say "GET YOUR ASSES BACK TO SCHOOL AND LEARN HOW TO SPEAK PROPERLY. THEY CANT HEAR YOU ON SCREEN ANYWAYS." I do have to admit though, some of the stuff they were saying, and they ebonic-laced way they said it, just cracked me up. They were probably wondering what da cracka in front of dem was laughin bout the entire time.

[powersauce]

As the snooty maitre'd in Ferris Bueller's Day Off once said, "I weep for the future.":(

[Robot]

I had the exact same thing happen during the screenings of:

Halloween Resurrection
The Hills Have Eyes
The Omen
The Descent

and my 2nd screening of
Mission Impossible 3

I go to the AMC 18 so this isn't usual behavior, but there will be 3-5 adults (well 18 yr old kids..) who think adding their personal commentary to the film is funny and yell at the screen and chat amongst themselves about random shit.

During The Hills Have Eyes I yelled out at 5 rather large guys asking if the rest of the theater could join in their conversation. They turned around and gave me this evil look and were like what? So, I had to yell back at them to stop fucking talking. Of course, the theater was rather packed and at the end of the day I did feel bad that I had to interupt their film further, but the staff rarely does anything when complained to (unless they would have been underage/sneaked in) so I had to deal with myself. Needless to say, they didn't say anything else during the film.

During Mission Impossible these two women in their 50's kept talking about how hot they thought Tom Cruise was or asking each other what was going on during the film. Oh I don't know..why don't you watch the movie and find out? I leaned over and asked them if they'd mind being a tad more quiet..they ignored me. I went to get staff and they wouldn't remove them because of course they shut up when they were in there. What did I do? Well the one kept leaning her head back when she ate popcorn (similar to a blowjob position) so I placed my foot right by the edge of the back of her seat..so when she titled her head back she got a nice flick of my foot. I didn't feel bad as I wanted to watch the movie..granted it was my second viewing, but they didn't know that and I did pay to sit there so they could have at least kept their mouthes shut. Now, I understand not speaking for two hours is a major stretch for people but come on. I didn't yell out during movies when I was little, let alone think it's an acceptable thing to do now.

[BorderEevilIII]

Makes Me Think of that Brenda character from Scary Movie and she's watching Shakespeare in Love.

But then again Jackson, there was a movie called Purple Rose of Cairo ;)

OH SNAP! :D

[inglourious basterd]

"they can't hear you [when you] jackoff"


For some reason I was expecting something entirely different from this thread.

I'm somewhat disappointed. :(

[Cronos]

it really pisses me off when people do this which is why i generally watch films on my own now, both at the cinema (also part of the reason why i wait until a films nearly ended its run before going to see it) and at home. it really destroys the experience of watching the film

[RustyRazor]

Originally posted by psudoazn
"they can't hear you [when you] jackoff"


For some reason I was expecting something entirely different from this thread.

I'm somewhat disappointed. :(


:D
You're naughty.


I've got an idea.
If someone won't shut the fuck up during a movie, the ushers should have them get up and marched into an alternate theater showing the same movie, where everybody's talking.

(Follow me on this.)

Now, everyone's talking back to the movie, discussing the world climate and having conference calls on their cellphones...you send me in. I will have with me a seltzer bottle, a whiffle ball bat, a jar of pickled eggs, and an AK-47 assault rifle.

Those who talk first get spritzed with the seltzer.
Problem? Wiffle ball bat to the head.
More problem? Strafe the chair.
Silence will be achieved.
I am willing to offer my services for your local theaters and if it takes off, I'm willing to start a school to properly train people in this art.

Oh, the jar of pickled eggs?
That's if they REALLY get indignant.
Take my course and I'll explain more.

[Cronos]

Originally posted by RustyRazor
Take my course and I'll explain more.

where can i sign up?

[echo_bravo]

Reminds me when I went to see Lady in the Water. The theater was packed with two groups of black people.

Since the movie was pretty lackluster, I wasnt really upset that they were talking during the film. It was quite funny how much they were getting into it.

"Watch out white dude, that wolf is gonna eat yo muthafuckin ass!"

Surprisingly they all loved the movie and even clapped when the credits came up

"Fuckin tight movie yo"

[jaw2929]

It's like this fucking teenage cunt bastard constantly getting up during the "Descent" movie I was at yesterday... Fucker must've gotten up 30-40 times, going into the lobby to stroke off or whatever the fuck teens do when they get up to leave the theatre a million times... I don't understand why the fuck you'd pay the money for a movie, and then not even bother watching it? If you're getting a BJ or something, that's fine... But walking out constantly throughout the entire fucking flick (not to mention shining that beautiful white bright cell phone light as well)... He also managed to switch seats 4-5 times too....

He and the fucks he was with, couldnt've been any older than 15 or so, which made me wonder why the fucking usher didn't kick them out, when he did the typical head count they usually do 5 mins into it...

I was fucking annoyed, but not as annoyed if it had been during an actual GOOD movie.... :rolleyes:

[bob]

Eddie Murphy said it best:

BITCH, GET OUT THE POOL!!!! RUN, BITCH!!!!

[Brando @$$ Fat]

I think it's fine to talk to the characters as long as you're not in a theater with other people. Hell, I encourage it, since it helps get people more involved in a movie.

[the_sneaker]

Originally posted by Brando @$$ Fat
I think it's fine to talk to the characters as long as you're not in a theater with other people. Hell, I encourage it, since it helps get people more involved in a movie.

Completely agree with you. I enjoy it when I am showing my friends a movie for the first time and they are so into it that they start reacting to the actors or scenes. I love it. Hell, I love it when all the audeicne in the theater is reacting, too.

However, I hate it when it's only one person who is screaming or laughing or telling the character not to "walk up the stairs! What are you fucking stupid! He's/She's/The Killer's upstairs!"

[KyleG]

It is for this exact reason i don't go to showings of movies after 3:00

[Undead Fish]

Originally posted by KyleG
It is for this exact reason i don't go to showings of movies after 3:00

On top of this, I'll wait 2 - 3 weeks after opening if it's a movie I'm really anxious to see.