wallebe10
08-19-2006, 05:01 PM
I'm writing a horror movie entitled "School". It's a basic plot about a serial killer who only kills people at a certain high school. I wrote the opening scene last night. I want to you guys to tell me what you think about it and if you notice any horror cliches. I don't think I have any in there. Alright. Here you go.
FADE IN
INT. BIOLOGY CLASSROOM - AFTERNOON
The teacher is teaching about the certain arteries in the body.
TEACHER
Now if you the neck gets cut open then pressure can be applied to keep blood from flowing
Sarah, a beautiful blonde girl, is sitting in her desk looking at the teacher. Her phone vibrates inside her pocket. She takes the phone out and sees she has a text message. She opens it and she sees its from her boyfriend Matthew. The text message reads: movies after school right?
Sarah replies back saying: yeah but i have to stay after school for a couple hours. im failing math right now. She puts her phone back into her pocket and looks back up front. Seconds later her phone vibrates again. She takes it out of her pocket and reads the text message. It reads: that works. i have to stay for a few hours too. ill come get you when Im done ok? Sarah replies: can do. She closes her phone and puts it back in her pocket and looks back up front.
INT. MATH CLASSROOM - DUSK
Sarah gets up from a desk with a bunch of papers and takes them over to the table by the window. She picks up the stapler and starts to staple the papers.
EXT. OUTSIDE SCIENCE HALLWAYS
Matthew exits the door and looks up at the window and sees Sarah.
INT. MATH CLASSROOM
Sarah looks out the window and sees Matthew standing there looking at her and accidentally dropping his books. Sarah holds a finger up saying one second. She looks back down at the papers and starts stapling again.
EXT. OUTSIDE SCIENCE HALLWAYS
A person comes through the door behind Matthew. He is wearing all black and has a skull mask, resembling Death, the Grim Reaper. Death takes a pair of scissors out of his pocket.
INT. MATH CLASSROOM
Sarah looks back up through the window. She sees Death behind Matthew.
EXT. OUTSIDE SCIENCE HALLWAYS
Matthew picks up his books and sees Sarah in the classroom banging on the window pointing at him. She is screaming something. Matthew shakes his head in confusion.
INT. MATH CLASSROOM
SARAH
Shit.
Sarah takes out her phone and starts dialing.
EXT. OUTSIDE SCIENCE HALLWAYS
Matthews cell phone rings. He takes it out of his pocket and answers it.
MATTHEW
Hello?
Death taps Matthew on the shoulder. Matthew turns around and Death uppercuts him. Matthew flies down the halfway point of the stairs. Death starts to walk down the stairs.
INT. MATH CLASSROOM
SARAH
No!
EXT. STAIRS
Death gets on top of Matthew and takes a pair of headphones out of his pockets. He reaches inside his pocket and presses play on his iPod. The chorus to Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd starts to play. He takes the scissors and stabs Matthew in the chest. He takes the scissors out and stabs him in the chest again three more times.
INT. MATH CLASSROOM
Sarah is frozen in shock and she drops her cell phone. She sees Death take the scissors out of Matthews chest and put the headphones back in his pocket. He looks up at her through the window. He stands up and starts to run towards the math building. She runs out of the classroom.
INT. MATH HALLWAY
Sarah runs over to the stairs. She stops at the foot of the stairs because she sees Death coming up the stairs. She runs in the other direction while Death chases her. Sarah sees a cart full of books. She picks up a book and throws it at Death. It hits Death in the face and he falls backwards. Sarah runs out of Deaths sight. He slowly gets back up and starts running in her direction.
Sarah continues to run away and she turns left into another hallway. She comes to a dead end and looks around. She sees an elevator. She keeps pressing the button on it.
SARAH
Open. Open.
She keeps pressing it and the door opens. She runs inside and presses the first floor button. Death runs to the dead end. He looks around and then looks behind him. He sees the elevator doors almost closing. He runs up to the doors but they close too soon.
Death runs out of the dead end and all the way back down the hallway and takes the stairs down.
INT. DOWNSTAIRS
Death runs over to the elevator and waits for it to open. When the elevator opens he runs inside and no one is in there. He looks behind him and gets hits in the face with a fire extinguisher and falls to the ground. Sarah drops the hydrant and runs out of the elevator and out the door of the hallway.
EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD
Sarah runs across the courtyard and over to the gate and tries to open it but its padlocked.
SARAH
Help! Help me somebody please!
She runs back in the other direction and over to the cafeteria. She tries to open the door but it is locked. She frantically looks around and picks up a large rock. She takes the rock and keeps hitting it against the window and it breaks. She reaches her hand inside the door and opens it through the other side.
INT. CAFETERIA
Sarah runs inside. She runs through the tables and out the back door of the cafeteria.
EXT. BACKSIDE OF THE COURTYARD
She runs across to the back of the courtyard. She sees the gate but it turns out to be padlocked too. Drums are heard and she can see the marching band practicing on the field. She looks to her right and she sees a rock. Sarah climbs on top of the rock and over the gate. On the other side she lands on her hands and knees.
Sarah starts to breathe heavily. She stays on the ground and Death lands right next to her. She quickly gets up and starts running towards the field with Death right behind her. Then Death grabs her and slits her throat open. Sarah gasps and Death puts his headphones in her ears. He presses play on his iPod and the chorus to Another Brick in the Wall starts to play again.
Sarah elbows Death in the stomach and she escapes. She grabs her throat really tight. She runs over to the field. As the band kids are practicing, Sarah runs in the middle of them and falls to her knees. A trumpeter takes his shirt off and wraps it around her throat.
TRUMPETER
We need an ambulance!
Sarah points over to where she came from and the trumpeter looks over there. He sees nothing.
FADE OUT
FADE IN
INT. BIOLOGY CLASSROOM - AFTERNOON
The teacher is teaching about the certain arteries in the body.
TEACHER
Now if you the neck gets cut open then pressure can be applied to keep blood from flowing
Sarah, a beautiful blonde girl, is sitting in her desk looking at the teacher. Her phone vibrates inside her pocket. She takes the phone out and sees she has a text message. She opens it and she sees its from her boyfriend Matthew. The text message reads: movies after school right?
Sarah replies back saying: yeah but i have to stay after school for a couple hours. im failing math right now. She puts her phone back into her pocket and looks back up front. Seconds later her phone vibrates again. She takes it out of her pocket and reads the text message. It reads: that works. i have to stay for a few hours too. ill come get you when Im done ok? Sarah replies: can do. She closes her phone and puts it back in her pocket and looks back up front.
INT. MATH CLASSROOM - DUSK
Sarah gets up from a desk with a bunch of papers and takes them over to the table by the window. She picks up the stapler and starts to staple the papers.
EXT. OUTSIDE SCIENCE HALLWAYS
Matthew exits the door and looks up at the window and sees Sarah.
INT. MATH CLASSROOM
Sarah looks out the window and sees Matthew standing there looking at her and accidentally dropping his books. Sarah holds a finger up saying one second. She looks back down at the papers and starts stapling again.
EXT. OUTSIDE SCIENCE HALLWAYS
A person comes through the door behind Matthew. He is wearing all black and has a skull mask, resembling Death, the Grim Reaper. Death takes a pair of scissors out of his pocket.
INT. MATH CLASSROOM
Sarah looks back up through the window. She sees Death behind Matthew.
EXT. OUTSIDE SCIENCE HALLWAYS
Matthew picks up his books and sees Sarah in the classroom banging on the window pointing at him. She is screaming something. Matthew shakes his head in confusion.
INT. MATH CLASSROOM
SARAH
Shit.
Sarah takes out her phone and starts dialing.
EXT. OUTSIDE SCIENCE HALLWAYS
Matthews cell phone rings. He takes it out of his pocket and answers it.
MATTHEW
Hello?
Death taps Matthew on the shoulder. Matthew turns around and Death uppercuts him. Matthew flies down the halfway point of the stairs. Death starts to walk down the stairs.
INT. MATH CLASSROOM
SARAH
No!
EXT. STAIRS
Death gets on top of Matthew and takes a pair of headphones out of his pockets. He reaches inside his pocket and presses play on his iPod. The chorus to Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd starts to play. He takes the scissors and stabs Matthew in the chest. He takes the scissors out and stabs him in the chest again three more times.
INT. MATH CLASSROOM
Sarah is frozen in shock and she drops her cell phone. She sees Death take the scissors out of Matthews chest and put the headphones back in his pocket. He looks up at her through the window. He stands up and starts to run towards the math building. She runs out of the classroom.
INT. MATH HALLWAY
Sarah runs over to the stairs. She stops at the foot of the stairs because she sees Death coming up the stairs. She runs in the other direction while Death chases her. Sarah sees a cart full of books. She picks up a book and throws it at Death. It hits Death in the face and he falls backwards. Sarah runs out of Deaths sight. He slowly gets back up and starts running in her direction.
Sarah continues to run away and she turns left into another hallway. She comes to a dead end and looks around. She sees an elevator. She keeps pressing the button on it.
SARAH
Open. Open.
She keeps pressing it and the door opens. She runs inside and presses the first floor button. Death runs to the dead end. He looks around and then looks behind him. He sees the elevator doors almost closing. He runs up to the doors but they close too soon.
Death runs out of the dead end and all the way back down the hallway and takes the stairs down.
INT. DOWNSTAIRS
Death runs over to the elevator and waits for it to open. When the elevator opens he runs inside and no one is in there. He looks behind him and gets hits in the face with a fire extinguisher and falls to the ground. Sarah drops the hydrant and runs out of the elevator and out the door of the hallway.
EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD
Sarah runs across the courtyard and over to the gate and tries to open it but its padlocked.
SARAH
Help! Help me somebody please!
She runs back in the other direction and over to the cafeteria. She tries to open the door but it is locked. She frantically looks around and picks up a large rock. She takes the rock and keeps hitting it against the window and it breaks. She reaches her hand inside the door and opens it through the other side.
INT. CAFETERIA
Sarah runs inside. She runs through the tables and out the back door of the cafeteria.
EXT. BACKSIDE OF THE COURTYARD
She runs across to the back of the courtyard. She sees the gate but it turns out to be padlocked too. Drums are heard and she can see the marching band practicing on the field. She looks to her right and she sees a rock. Sarah climbs on top of the rock and over the gate. On the other side she lands on her hands and knees.
Sarah starts to breathe heavily. She stays on the ground and Death lands right next to her. She quickly gets up and starts running towards the field with Death right behind her. Then Death grabs her and slits her throat open. Sarah gasps and Death puts his headphones in her ears. He presses play on his iPod and the chorus to Another Brick in the Wall starts to play again.
Sarah elbows Death in the stomach and she escapes. She grabs her throat really tight. She runs over to the field. As the band kids are practicing, Sarah runs in the middle of them and falls to her knees. A trumpeter takes his shirt off and wraps it around her throat.
TRUMPETER
We need an ambulance!
Sarah points over to where she came from and the trumpeter looks over there. He sees nothing.
FADE OUT