jeo4
08-31-2006, 03:58 PM
So I was listening to the radio (my first mistake) about a month ago when a new song called "Lips Of An Angel" came on...it began modestly enough, and went south from there.
*Cue generic acoustic guitar and tambourine*
Lyrics (and my subsequent commentary, complete with What he really means in italics.):
Honey why you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why you crying is everything okay (He's trying to sound "sincere" here)
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girl's in the next room
(So, his last good piece of ass is calling him bawling because she misses him. And his response is I gotta be quiet, because my girlfriend will hear me talking to you and then I'm in deep shit...)
Sometimes I wish she was you (Wow...no wonder you want to be quiet...she'd probably beat the shit out of you for this line.)
I guess we never really moved on (In other words - We didn't fuck enough and we didn't have breakup sex. I still miss fucking you, in fact.)
*Chorus. Cue shitty guitar riffs and slow 4/4 drum beat*
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet (Are you horny, too?)
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak (At least you swallowed.)
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
(Is it just me, or does his voice sound a bit like a calf being sodomized with a fire hydrant?)
It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I dreamt of you too (I have a boner right now.)
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue (Seriously...what would it hurt to be fuck buddies??)
Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
(You were obviously the better lay.)
*Chorus.*
*Solo (barely).*
*Repeat chorus.* (Feeling queasy. Must...find...commode.)
Okay, this nauseating shit goes on for what seems to be an eternity and I hate every second of it. The music is weak, the vocals are horrid, and it's all about how these two can't seem to get enough of one another. Now this gets requested at every radio station in the tri-state area at least 75 fucking times a day. Are there that many hillbilly bitches missing their glory days when every mulleteer in the trailer park wanted to pump them dry? Do they just long to remember that one greaser that properly long-cocked them then hopped on his hog and rode out of town before nuptuals? Are there that many college skanks and high school whores aching for their last boyfriend/girlfriend? (Note - this doesn't really apply to one sex or another. Stupid doesn't discriminate, after all.)
Or (more likely) is the message in this heap of hair metal sludge simply lost on the masses of asses calling it in here in my neck of the woods? Hell, the video is on almost as often as song is requested on the radio.
To these half-wits enamored by this song enough to demand it all day long, I can only say: this isn't romantic! This is two people whispering sweet nothings to one another behind the respective backs of their current commited partners! And it's put to the worst fucking music I can possibly hear this side of "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"! How are people so fucking stupid and shallow?!
Then I actually heard an interview from these redneck assholes this morning, all talking about drinking, partying, and fucking groupies. And I think to myself...these idiots are Spinal Tap without the talent or charisma! This is a joke! Where is Ashton Kutcher to tell me I'm being punk'd??
And then they actually have the gall to go off on other bands that might have a different message in their lyrics. "Whining" was the term I heard to set me off. God forbid anyone share some feelings in a song other than partying and banging sluts! It was enough to make me want to throw a brick at the TV.
These scumbags have two songs out right now. The first release is called "Get Stoned". (And please don't confuse this heap with Bob Dylan's song of the same name, which is a bit of comic genius.) It's basically about a relationship with some user skank who gets high and gives the guy shit and has angry grudge fuck-fests with him, with the most prevalent lyric in the song being "You wear me out". Sounds about right to me. I'm worn out just hearing the first few bars. Then of course there's the "ballad" I listed above. This shit is right on par with Britney Spears, R Kelly, boybands, new country and any other fucking garbage with no talent that I hate in a given moment.
Fuck Hinder. Fuck them with a lead pipe wrapped in razor wire and dipped in a boiling mix of lemon juice, vinegar, salt and alcohol.
*Cue generic acoustic guitar and tambourine*
Lyrics (and my subsequent commentary, complete with What he really means in italics.):
Honey why you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why you crying is everything okay (He's trying to sound "sincere" here)
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girl's in the next room
(So, his last good piece of ass is calling him bawling because she misses him. And his response is I gotta be quiet, because my girlfriend will hear me talking to you and then I'm in deep shit...)
Sometimes I wish she was you (Wow...no wonder you want to be quiet...she'd probably beat the shit out of you for this line.)
I guess we never really moved on (In other words - We didn't fuck enough and we didn't have breakup sex. I still miss fucking you, in fact.)
*Chorus. Cue shitty guitar riffs and slow 4/4 drum beat*
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet (Are you horny, too?)
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak (At least you swallowed.)
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
(Is it just me, or does his voice sound a bit like a calf being sodomized with a fire hydrant?)
It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I dreamt of you too (I have a boner right now.)
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue (Seriously...what would it hurt to be fuck buddies??)
Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
(You were obviously the better lay.)
*Chorus.*
*Solo (barely).*
*Repeat chorus.* (Feeling queasy. Must...find...commode.)
Okay, this nauseating shit goes on for what seems to be an eternity and I hate every second of it. The music is weak, the vocals are horrid, and it's all about how these two can't seem to get enough of one another. Now this gets requested at every radio station in the tri-state area at least 75 fucking times a day. Are there that many hillbilly bitches missing their glory days when every mulleteer in the trailer park wanted to pump them dry? Do they just long to remember that one greaser that properly long-cocked them then hopped on his hog and rode out of town before nuptuals? Are there that many college skanks and high school whores aching for their last boyfriend/girlfriend? (Note - this doesn't really apply to one sex or another. Stupid doesn't discriminate, after all.)
Or (more likely) is the message in this heap of hair metal sludge simply lost on the masses of asses calling it in here in my neck of the woods? Hell, the video is on almost as often as song is requested on the radio.
To these half-wits enamored by this song enough to demand it all day long, I can only say: this isn't romantic! This is two people whispering sweet nothings to one another behind the respective backs of their current commited partners! And it's put to the worst fucking music I can possibly hear this side of "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"! How are people so fucking stupid and shallow?!
Then I actually heard an interview from these redneck assholes this morning, all talking about drinking, partying, and fucking groupies. And I think to myself...these idiots are Spinal Tap without the talent or charisma! This is a joke! Where is Ashton Kutcher to tell me I'm being punk'd??
And then they actually have the gall to go off on other bands that might have a different message in their lyrics. "Whining" was the term I heard to set me off. God forbid anyone share some feelings in a song other than partying and banging sluts! It was enough to make me want to throw a brick at the TV.
These scumbags have two songs out right now. The first release is called "Get Stoned". (And please don't confuse this heap with Bob Dylan's song of the same name, which is a bit of comic genius.) It's basically about a relationship with some user skank who gets high and gives the guy shit and has angry grudge fuck-fests with him, with the most prevalent lyric in the song being "You wear me out". Sounds about right to me. I'm worn out just hearing the first few bars. Then of course there's the "ballad" I listed above. This shit is right on par with Britney Spears, R Kelly, boybands, new country and any other fucking garbage with no talent that I hate in a given moment.
Fuck Hinder. Fuck them with a lead pipe wrapped in razor wire and dipped in a boiling mix of lemon juice, vinegar, salt and alcohol.