PDA

View Full Version : The New Yorker Critics Are Hacks


Brando @$$ Fat
09-16-2006, 05:24 PM
Ok, first of all let me just say that I don't hate The New Yorker the way the thread title might imply. I think the magazine itself is perfectly fine. The film critics, however, are all uptight yuppie pieces of shit who for the life of them cannot learn to enjoy anything.

I know, it seems ridiculous that I would rant about The New Yorker critics when we have post-Siskel era Roger Ebert giving absolutely every single fucking movie he sees a rave review. However, at least with Ebert there's some logical insight. Whenever I read The New Yorker, and a critic is bashing a particular film (which is always the case) it seems like they're making up shit to hold against the film. Take a look at what critic David Denb says about James Ellroy in the review for The Black Dahlia.

"In 1947, a young woman named Elizabeth Short, drawn to the city by the hope of a career in the movies, was murdered in a particularly horrible way—first tortured, then killed, then mutilated, her body sliced in two. The crime has found its way into many books, including “The Black Dahlia” (1987), by James Ellroy, who brought his own cargo-hold of L.A. baggage to the subject. In 1958, when Ellroy was ten, his mother, Geneva Hilliker, was raped and murdered. The boy understandably became obsessed with her death, but then the adult Ellroy, not so understandably—that is, operating as only a writer of crime fiction would—channelled the emotions generated by his mother’s murder into a retelling of the Betty Short story"


What the fuck? Apparently, there's something wrong with writing about something that hits close to home....fucking prick.

I wonder if these people have ever taken their heads out of their asses for one second, put their pen and pad down, sat down, and let the movie do as it pleases without their narcissism or egomania getting the best of them. What's wrong with just sitting down, watching the movie, and seeing how well everything falls into place in the end? Granted, there's always the risk of pulling a Roger Ebert and giving a shit film like Cheaper by the Dozen 2 a good review, but every once in a while it might not hurt.

TheJupiterCrash
09-16-2006, 06:20 PM
Most critics, excluding a select few, are cocksuckers, plain and simple.

I love how David Denb starts to comment on the book, when he's supposed to be reviewing a movie, right. Secondly, Ellory had nothing, NOTHING, to do with the screenplay. The only thing he should mention about the book in a review about the movie, is that it's based on a book.

But, most critics have to reach just to fill-up their column.

I like Ebert, well I don't agree with him on a lot of his reviews, he doesn't cross the line that so many critics cross. And the line is between critic and artist.

When a critic starts telling a director how they should've done something, they're crossing that line and should probably go make their own movie or write their on book, or their own songs.

Some of the greatest directors got started that way, too.

Most critics are hacks, and the only reviews I really trust are my own, and sometimes my friends. Art is far too subjective to critiqued.

And, yes, I am aware that I’m critiquing David Denb and critics in general, which I guess, makes me a cocksucker.

Kevin Lockard
09-17-2006, 05:17 AM
Alot of critics seem like they are making shit up just to get through a review, often using big words and such and writing drawn-out paragraphs and everything. One critic even said American History X failed because it didn't touch onto a very important point----how Nazi racism was created. Heh????? This movie wasn't about that, it was about how a normal family in America can be torn apart by racism. Derek was a bright kid with a future and all it took was his father barely implanting racist ideas in his head and he was thrown onto the wrong path. His father gets killed, he takes on a life of racism, and before you know it, he takes the life of two kids and throws over three years of his life away. Redemption in his case is VERY hard because when you have that kind of hate in your heart, it doesn't just go away when you finally conquer it, he's gonna have to fight not going back to that his entire life (which is why the alternate ending makes perfect sense) and this eventually ends up claiming the life of his brother and just because the movie ends THERE doesn't mean the story is over. The story is gonna continue and if Derek doesn't go back to that life, then I wouldn't put it past me for the white supremists to go after him and his family. All that cause of a few ideas planted in his head.

Sorry to go a bit off-topic but seriously, where does "the root of Nazi racism" play an important part in all that? It's irrevelant. At least Roger Ebert, whether I agree with him or not, doesn't lick certain filmmaker's balls. When everyone was putting down Natural Born Killers, he had the balls to give 4/4 stars and even call it a "masterpiece." Of course, some said this was bias, as he calls everything Oliver Stone does a "masterpiece." But if you actually read all his reviews for Oliver Stone, you'll se that that argument holds no merit cause it seems most Stone movies are negative reviews to me. Platton and NBK are the only two Stone films he really raved about highly and hell, he gave Any Given Sunday 3/4 stars and yet, if you read his review, it seems like he says more negative things than positive.

I do find his review for Die Hard a bit unfair. His reasons for Die Hard not being all that great is because of Paul Gleason's character. Not only can one character not drag down an entire movie but he goes on to rave about Die Hard 2 being the best of the three (I find it great, but it's the worst of the three) when the Dennis Frainz character is pretty much the same character, only increased 10 times!

Anyhow, David Denb seems to want to fill up his column becuase he really doesn't got much to say. At a glance, it might look like he is somewhat intelligent and he has something to say but apparently, when you look closer, it's easy to see he doesn't. Hell, he writes a whole paragraph on the book and the "motivations" of it's author James Ellroy. Not a single word in there at all about the movie itself. He shouldn't try and sound smart by looking like he is "only commenting slightly on the book but then ends up writing a whole paragraph purely on it." People can see he is just filling up space and he isn't a very good critic.

bigred760
09-17-2006, 11:05 PM
Originally posted by TheJupiterCrash
I love how David Denb starts to comment on the book, when he's supposed to be reviewing a movie, right. Secondly, Ellory had nothing, NOTHING, to do with the screenplay. The only thing he should mention about the book in a review about the movie, is that it's based on a book.


I know, I totally agree. I'm reading the blurb of the review and I'm thinking what the hell does the book's author's past have to do with the movie?

I agree that most critics pad their columns and critiques by putting in useless bullshit that has nothing to do with the movie or the people that made it.


Oh and Brando @$$ Fat, that crap is limited to The New Yorker. The same stuff applies to the Atlanta Journal Constitution - at least.

Quigles
09-18-2006, 02:39 AM
Originally posted by TheJupiterCrash
Most critics, excluding a select few, are cocksuckers, plain and simple.
You callin me gay?

Brando @$$ Fat
09-18-2006, 07:20 AM
Originally posted by Quigles3000
You callin me gay?

*Ahem*...."excluding a select few."

Quigles
09-18-2006, 02:54 PM
Originally posted by Brando @$$ Fat
*Ahem*...."excluding a select few."
:D