Oh my god! This movie isn't perfect! I FUCKING HATE IT!! IT SUCKS!!!

[AWP82]

...I mean, where the fuck do movies get off having flaws?!?! They can't have flaws. They have to be top notch. All of them. All the time. They can't be just OK. They can't be just good. They have to fucking blow me away! They have to be 100% original. They have to be 100% realistic. They have to be 100% unpredictable. They have to be 100% whatever. They have to be classics! ALL OF THEM. Every single new movie has to surpass the one before it. EVERY TIME. They can't just be average. Average is BAD. They have to be exceptional. They can't be subjective. They have to please ME in order to please anyone else. They have to meet MY standards, or else they suck balls! People can't like it if I don't like it. They can't disagree. That makes me lose sleep. My opinion's not just an opinion. It's the absolute TRUTH. Why? Because I said so. If I say this movie sucks, IT SUCKS. You can't have a different opinion. You can't have different standards. You can't have different taste. There's no such thing as an opinion. There's no such thing as subjectivity. What I say goes because it's the absolute truth! This movie sucks balls because I said so. If you disagree, it's not a difference of opinion. I hate the opinion card. You're just WRONG! You're brainwashed. YOU'RE ALL BRAINWASHED. I HAVE TO PUT A STOP TO THIS. OH MY GOD, THIS MOVIE'S MAKING MONEY. WHY IS IT SO SUCCESSFUL? PEOPLE LIKE THIS CRAP?!?! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! THIS MOVIE SUCKS! YOU'RE ALL BRAINWASHED. IT'S A CONSPIRACY. I HAVE TO STOP THIS! IT'LL RUIN HORROR!!!111!!1 REMAKES SUCK. IT'LL RUIN THE ORIGIN@L11! MICHAEL BAY IS A H@KC!! YOU LIKE MICH@EL BAY?? UR A F@@@G. I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THE CHARACTERS BECAUSE THERE WAS NO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. OH MY GOD, THIS MOVIE'S PRETENTIOUS. THE PLOT WAS SO BORING! IT TOOK TOO LONG TO GET TO THE ACTION! I HAVE A SHORT ATTENTION SPAN. I HAVE TO CONVINCE THE WORLD THIS MOVIE SUCKS, OR ELSE IT'LL BE SUCCESSFUL. IF IT'S SUCCESSFUL, THE FUCKING WORLD IS GONNA END! THIS MOVIE SUCKS. YOU'RE ALL FUCKING WRONG!!!!!!!!!

*Has an aneurism and dies*

Moral of the story; you can't fucking please everybody.

"Oh, I hate that fucking excuse! They have to appeal to a wide audience."

Maybe it's just a cult classic. Not everyone is going to like the same movie. It'll find it's audience.

"It's not a cult classic. It sucks. Those people were tricked into thinking it's good."

Different strokes for different folks, man. Movies are subjective. Not everyone's going to have the same opinion. That's just life...

"What a fucking copout. You can't just drop the opinion card every time someone speaks the truth. You're just saying that to compensate for your lack of argument. If you're gonna say something, you have to back it up with facts!"

What the hell do you want me to say? I already explained why I liked the movie, but that wasn't good enough for you. Every point I made, you picked apart and shot down. You won the debate, so we might as well agree to disagree.

"It's not about winning or losing anything. I'm just expressing my opinion. You can't handle me having a different opinion?"

Sure I can. We just don't share the same opinion. You have yours, and I have mine.

"But you didn't back yours up with a good argument. I'm just trying to understand what people think is so great about this movie. I don't get for the life of me what you see in this piece of crap."

We already told you, but our reasons weren't good enough. You keep nitpicking everything to death.

"But your reasons don't make sense to me."

Look man, we're sorry you feel that way. But we can't help the fact that we liked it. Some things you just can't fully explain. Different movies affect different people in different ways. It's just a feeling you get. Art is subjective.

"HA! You call that "art"? Give me a break. You're just worshipping it because Quentin Tarantino directed it. He's such an overrated hack."

How is he a hack?

"He copies off of other movies and tries to pass it off as 'original.' He has no imagination."

Sure he does. He took a pre-existing idea and put his own spin on it. He paid homage to the movies that influenced him.

"That wasn't a 'homage.' It was a rip off. He's a hack and deserves to be shot. It's a shame Hollywood allows him to keep making movies."

What's it to you, man? If you don't like his stuff, don't keep watching it. No one's forcing you to go see everything he makes. His success doesn't affect your life, so why worry about it? Live and let live.

"But......but.....he sucks! Why do you keep defending him? Are you a fag? I'll bet your his secret butt buddy. No wonder you worship him!"

*Winston Wolfe shows up.....thread closed.*

I got so carried away with this rant that I forgot what my point was. So in the meantime, I'll leave it open to interpretation. :D

Discuss...

PS. I promise I'm not trying to stir up shit. I honestly did just get carried away and forgot my point. It'll come back to me later. Hopefully, the sarcasm will give you a clue. If you're offended, go ahead and flame me. Winston Wolfe will close it and then we can all move on. But for the record, it's meant to be humorous, not offensive.

[Monotreme]

This is the most vicious and at the same time pointless rant I've ever read on this forum. I do wonder, though, exactly what film (or specifically, after what film did a discussion arise) that induced this bitter piece of ventilation.

[AWP82]

Originally posted by Monotreme
This is the most vicious and at the same time pointless rant I've ever read on this forum. I do wonder, though, exactly what film (or specifically, after what film did a discussion arise) that induced this bitter piece of ventilation.

It's vicious because it's hyperbole, and it's pointless because I forgot my point. But if you must know, this "bitter" rant was spurred by an imaginary discussion I had with my friends after we all watched a movie they asked me to bring to a house party last night. It was The Last House On The Left. One of my favorite horror movies of the 70's. Earlier this week when they invited me to the planned house party, I foolishly made it out to be one of the most shocking/disturbing/scary movies ever, and they took my word for it. When they saw the movie, they hated it and kept making fun of it throughout the whole thing, and that hurt my feelings. I didn't let on that it did, so I seethed on the way home after the party. My mind wandered and I got to thinking about what it would've been like if I had tried discussing the movie with them. That made me think of all the debates people have online, and how they usually pan out. That's what I made fun of in my rant. Like I said, it was meant to be humorous, not offensive. If you're offended, I apologize. I'm not the best comedian in the world. But I swear there WAS a point. I just forgot it while I was caught up in trying to be funny. I'm weird like that.

The best suggestion I can give right now is to not take my rant too seriously. If you do, it'll likely offend/baffle you. I know I look foolish, so I'm not surprised by your response. Bottom line, Winston Wolfe can close it if he/she deems it inappropriate or offensive. I'll understand. But I swear, my intentions were NOT to rub people the wrong way. OK?

If too many people get offended by this rant, I'll erase it if this thread isn't already closed by then. I'm not here to cause trouble.

[DareDevil]

I see where your coming from. I too have taken it personel when someone hates a movie i love then says something like the best movie of all time is *fill in with movie that would piss you off*

[Tyler_Durden_208]

Funny that what you're talking about reminds me so much of William Munny and his Superman Returns thread in this same section. Apparently I can't love that movie or Silent Hill, because he has to be right.

[AWP82]

Originally posted by DareDevil
I see where your coming from. I too have taken it personel when someone hates a movie i love then says something like the best movie of all time is *fill in with movie that would piss you off*

Actually, I don't mind what other people like. But when THEY mind what Ilike (as in acting the way I demonstrated above), that's what kinda bugs me. My friends didn't actually go that far, but them making fun of TLHOTL reminded me of why I normally watch movies by myself. To save myself the awkwardness of that situation, or the type of discussion I demonstrated above. Maybe that was my point. *shrug*

[AWP82]

Originally posted by Tyler_Durden_208
Funny that what you're talking about reminds me so much of William Munny and his Superman Returns thread in this same section. Apparently I can't love that movie or Silent Hill, because he has to be right.

Yeah, that's kind of what I'm getting at. Although, I exaggerated a little.

[AWP82]

I just remembered something else that inspired this rant (and this is generally speaking, not referring to anything in particular). I notice that when I watch movies with other people, they tend to be very unforgiving of a movie's flaws. Even minor ones. If the movie is otherwise decent or better, they'll let one flaw (or a few) tarnish the whole thing for them. Like if a character makes ONE dumb move, the movie sucks. If there's ONE corny line of dialogue, the movie sucks. If the acting sucks in ONE scene, the whole movie sucks. If there's ONE minor plot hole, the movie sucks. If a movie requires them to suspend disbelief ONCE, it sucks because it's "unrealistic." Or if a movie is the least bit cliched or predictable or whatever, the whole thing sucks. They'll dwell on a movie's imperfections and blow them way out of proportion, instead of allowing themselves to enjoy what's good about it. It's strictly pass or fail for them, and their standards are way too high sometimes. Can't people just go with the flow and stop being so uptight? Not all movies are meant to be the greatest work of art ever. Some of them are just meant to be average, and there's nothing wrong with that (IMO). Maybe I'm just weird. :confused:

[Duke Nukem]

This reminds me of every CURRENT MOVIE thread with Madsen.

[Tyler_Durden_208]

Originally posted by AWP82
I just remembered something else that inspired this rant (and this is generally speaking, not referring to anything in particular). I notice that when I watch movies with other people, they tend to be very unforgiving of a movie's flaws. Even minor ones. If the movie is otherwise decent or better, they'll let one flaw (or a few) tarnish the whole thing for them. Like if a character makes ONE dumb move, the movie sucks. If there's ONE corny line of dialogue, the movie sucks. If the acting sucks in ONE scene, the whole movie sucks. If there's ONE minor plot hole, the movie sucks. If a movie requires them to suspend disbelief ONCE, it sucks because it's "unrealistic." Or if a movie is the least bit cliched or predictable or whatever, the whole thing sucks. They'll dwell on a movie's imperfections and blow them way out of proportion, instead of allowing themselves to enjoy what's good about it. It's strictly pass or fail for them, and their standards are way too high sometimes. Can't people just go with the flow and stop being so uptight? Not all movies are meant to be the greatest work of art ever. Some of them are just meant to be average, and there's nothing wrong with that (IMO). Maybe I'm just weird. :confused:
I know what you mean. I'll usually make a crack about said stupid thing but I won't let it ruin the movie for me. The Departed's out of nowhere last 10 or 15 minutes being the exception.

[jaw2929]

Originally posted by Duke Nukem
This reminds me of every CURRENT MOVIE thread with Madsen.

Exactly what I was thinking....

AWP summed up practically every (fuckin ;)) opinion-related arguement, point by counter-point, perfectly. :p

[someguy]

Originally posted by Duke Nukem
This reminds me of every CURRENT MOVIE thread with Madsen.

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Duke Nukem]

Originally posted by someguy
:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

To quote the sarcasim of Madsen...

"Ooh, the dreaded eye roll! How frightening! But not only one, but five of them! Five times as frightening as before! Ooh, that's the last time I'll state my opinion again in 'friendly' discussion! The last time, I will - Gasp! God forbid! - have the 'audacity' to question one others opinion in, again, 'friendly' discussion! How about I just get out all of your ways and fucking throw up??

Seriously, despite all the playful fun, I do respect Madsen's opinions. He does explain in spoilerific detail why he likes or dislikes a movie. But still, everyone here knows how heated he can become sometimes.

[someguy]

Your quote is the reason why I used the eye rolls.

[The Heart Collector]

haa i love madsen. every time he posts something i open a bag of popcorn and just sit there, eating and watching the madness unfold.

[Mr.HyDe807]

This reminded me of the Grind house trailer thread, where everyone was popping their cherry over it, and one or two schmoes said it wasnt that great, and a hailstorm of shit hit the fan!

One schmoe didnt like the trailer, :eek: , that deosnt mean you shoudl be worried that the movie will undoubtley suck!

[Backstabba]

That was basically the top 50 phrases used on IMDB.com...

This reminds me of a certain someone I know, who told me I "hate gays" if I didn't think Brokeback Mountain wasn't the best movie of 2005 and
who laughed like a Hyenia (You know what animal I'm talking about, I just can't spell the name) when I told him I thought Saw was one of the best movies of 2004.

I know you ask yourselves, "Why is he your friend if he annoys you so?".....

:confused:
*shrug*

But yeah, I honestly hate people who think their opinion is obsolete. Certain trolls on certain films (Pulp Fiction, TaeGukGi, Saw, American History X) piss me off. (Especially the ones on American History X, according to them, it's a pro-racist movie. Which is honestly....no.)

[The Postmaster General]

The force is strong in this thread.

[Tony_Montana]

Hahaha it's threads like this that remind me why I love Joblo.com

[Atlas1982]

"...I mean, where the fuck do movies get off having flaws?!?! They can't have flaws. They have to be top notch. All of them. All the time. They can't be just OK. They can't be just good. They have to fucking blow me away! They have to be 100% original. They have to be 100% realistic. They have to be 100% unpredictable. They have to be 100% whatever. They have to be classics! ALL OF THEM. Every single new movie has to surpass the one before it. EVERY TIME. They can't just be average. Average is BAD. They have to be exceptional. "

I don't know about you but I don't know many, if any people whom I would describe as this. And since people make movies I doubt your wishes will be answered. But for what it's worth, I wholeheartedly agree.

[AWP82]

Originally posted by Atlas1982
"...I mean, where the fuck do movies get off having flaws?!?! They can't have flaws. They have to be top notch. All of them. All the time. They can't be just OK. They can't be just good. They have to fucking blow me away! They have to be 100% original. They have to be 100% realistic. They have to be 100% unpredictable. They have to be 100% whatever. They have to be classics! ALL OF THEM. Every single new movie has to surpass the one before it. EVERY TIME. They can't just be average. Average is BAD. They have to be exceptional. "

I don't know about you but I don't know many, if any people whom I would describe as this. And since people make movies I doubt your wishes will be answered. But for what it's worth, I wholeheartedly agree.

That was all sarcasm, dude. :D

[Atlas1982]

Forget the sarcasm. It should be a standard. But I'm in the minority and that's fine by me. Let the masses rule this world. I'll sit back and enjoy a smoke.

[powersauce]

Originally posted by Tony_Montana
Hahaha it's threads like this that remind me why I love Joblo.com

It also reminds me of how this kicks IMDB's (Internet Morons Doing Blow) ass by a landslide regarding the imbeciles on the boards of the latter.

[Shockwave]

Haha. Threads like this do the RANT section proud!:p

I also agree with it to an extent.

[Kevin Lockard]

I don't get what would be so offensive about the rant, which I agree 110% on, and since I saw the word "Art" up there, I'm gonna focus on another point.

There seems to be a debate over whether Video Games are actually Art or not. Video Games are definitely Art, let me assure you, but it seems the word Art is down to contextual substance these days. You get told that "Indie" films are the ones you see for the "true artistic experience" and that movies like popcorn action flicks are not "art" but rather, Entertainment. To set the record straight, ART HAS NO DEFINITION! ART IS VERY PERSONAL AND HAS NO DEFINITION! Anything in the world can be Art. A Tupac cd is Art to one person, Poetry is Art to one person, Photography is Art to another person, etc etc. You get the point. Again, anything in the world can be Art. You don't get to pick and choose what's worthy of the title of Art and what's not. The definition for Art I believe is "The ability to do something." No, that's Talent, not Art. I can't take anyone serious who tries to define Art. Roger Ebert, a guy who doesn't even play video games and probably doesn't know much of anything about them, saying they are not Art? I just don't get it.

That's also why I get pissed when some wonderboy (usually a frustrated film school student) goes very much into detail about why this or that film isn't worthy of being called "Art." I argued with one on the Independent Films message board on He seemed to think ACO is shitty seeing as how it's full of cliches and such. I don't know what he was talking about, still don't, but nevertheless, he probably suffers from tons of migraines thinking the way he does.

A little off the point but I felt it needed to be said for whatever reason.

[MadsenOMC]

Wow I just noticed that I was mentioned here. Same old tired shit from some of you. At least someguy has some sense.

[Mr.HyDe807]

Originally posted by MadsenOMC
Wow I just noticed that I was mentioned here. Same old tired shit from some of you. At least someguy has some sense.

NO! someguy doesnt have sense, movies cant have flaws! they need to be perfect! Otherwise people like you ruin movies for everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just kidding madsen. And someguy just saved me time and effort for wrtinng whats been on my mind for years now :D

[stickmangrit]

my biggest problem is when people try to pass off what truly is derivative shit off as the Greatest Movie Of All Time(TM). Boondock Saints fans i'm pointing a 500 watt halogen at you right now. the idiots who find a movie that's really not all that great, but that panders to stupidity and action, and declare it the new great thing in cinema, and then are flabbergasted when people find that it comes nowhere close to the hype. someguy's biggest problem was, as he admitted, his own fucking fault. he sold LHOTL as the greatest horror movie ever, a title to which it holds viable clout towards. but most movies, espescially a no-budget 70's flick, will crumble in the face of that hype.

[Lost in Space]

this rant makes me laugh out loud. Honestly i do not have an opinion. However i do agree wiht your "moral of the story" you CANT please everyone. P.s. Stickmangrit I FUCKING LOVE BOONDOCK SAINTS!!!

[Monotreme]

Originally posted by AWP82
It's vicious because it's hyperbole, and it's pointless because I forgot my point. But if you must know, this "bitter" rant was spurred by an imaginary discussion I had with my friends after we all watched a movie they asked me to bring to a house party last night. It was The Last House On The Left. One of my favorite horror movies of the 70's. Earlier this week when they invited me to the planned house party, I foolishly made it out to be one of the most shocking/disturbing/scary movies ever, and they took my word for it. When they saw the movie, they hated it and kept making fun of it throughout the whole thing, and that hurt my feelings. I didn't let on that it did, so I seethed on the way home after the party. My mind wandered and I got to thinking about what it would've been like if I had tried discussing the movie with them. That made me think of all the debates people have online, and how they usually pan out. That's what I made fun of in my rant. Like I said, it was meant to be humorous, not offensive. If you're offended, I apologize. I'm not the best comedian in the world. But I swear there WAS a point. I just forgot it while I was caught up in trying to be funny. I'm weird like that.
This actually reminds me of when I foolishly tried to show my friends The Royal Tenenbaums. it is a film that I personally fell in love with over the Summer and wanted to show them. What happened was so embarrasing it's shameful. Only one of my friends connected with it and was shushing the other friends along with me. But they were all shouting loud "WHAT?!"s at some of the quirky parts of the movie, were constantly asking me like "How LONG is this fucking movie" (like an hour in, mind you), and generally just talking and being annoying. And when it ended they were like "Thank GOD" and all I could think was "mindless oafs"... ;)

[stickmangrit]

Originally posted by Lost in Space
this rant makes me laugh out loud. Honestly i do not have an opinion. However i do agree wiht your "moral of the story" you CANT please everyone. P.s. Stickmangrit I FUCKING LOVE BOONDOCK SAINTS!!!

and you have every right to love it, just like people with violent sociopaths for children still bring themselves to love their offspring. so long as you accept the fact(and it is fact mind you) that the movie was a two-hour Tarantino rip-off, with a god damned ridiculous plot centering around a crack assasin who couldn't hit the broad side of a barn and his two reactionary nutbag offspring, we have no quarrel. it's when folks tell me that Tarantino is a hack and point to Troy fucking Duffy as a counterexample that i take umbrage.

[Voodoodoll]

Originally posted by AWP82
I notice that when I watch movies with other people, they tend to be very unforgiving of a movie's flaws. Even minor ones. If the movie is otherwise decent or better, they'll let one flaw (or a few) tarnish the whole thing for them. Like if a character makes ONE dumb move, the movie sucks. If there's ONE corny line of dialogue, the movie sucks. If the acting sucks in ONE scene, the whole movie sucks. If there's ONE minor plot hole, the movie sucks. If a movie requires them to suspend disbelief ONCE, it sucks because it's "unrealistic." Or if a movie is the least bit cliched or predictable or whatever, the whole thing sucks. They'll dwell on a movie's imperfections and blow them way out of proportion, instead of allowing themselves to enjoy what's good about it.

I'm guilty of this every now and then. :o When my expectations get built up sky-high by a critics or my friends gushing about a movie and then it's (imho)average; the disappointment and anger kind of mix and I suddenly hate it. Titanic's a good example: I probably wouldn't give a shit either way about it but the hype just made me rebel against it. I think it's the childish part of my personality :o

Despite that I totally agree with the rant :D