Checking Tickets at the Door. (or FUCK SCREEN JUMPERS!)

[sezperai]

okay, so I wait in line 20 minutes for my ticket to "Lord of the Rings 40: The Elves are Pissed and All Hell Breaks Loose". I go in the door, the ticket taker tears my ticket and I place my half in my pocket o' junk and money.

I proceed to the snack counter for another 20 minute wait for my 50 dollar popcorn, 35 dollar cola and 20 dollar m&m's. I then grab my straw, napkins and what nots and begin to take the 3 mile trip to my particular screen's entrance. At the door, some 15 year old kid covered in pimples and popcorn butter stops me..."I need to see your ticket."

So, here I am...large popcorn, large soda and a pound of m&m's in my hands and this guy is asking for my ticket.

Since I have no hands free and my ticket is buried in my pocket...I proceed to try the Jedi mind trick to free my ticket from it's hellish prison with little success. Meanwhile, this kid stands here watching me like I have a third arm growing outta my ass that can reach into my pocket and produce said ticket for him....
Not once does he say, "hey man you need me to hold your popcorn for you real quick?" nope..that would be polite and that's a concept he hasn't yet been endowed with...
sooooooooooooo....i proceed to bend down an sit my popcorn and other shit on the floor and pull out my ticket (which he barely glances at)...i then pick up my shit and go in just in time to miss the first fucking preview (I HATE THAT!!!)

10 minutes into the film....a group of 7 14 year old girls come running in and talking louder than I believed possible throughout the rest of the movie......since they are talking about the other movie they just snuck into and out of because it sucked....i have determined that they have not purchased a ticket for said film and I proceed to fume (just a bit) and contemplate throwing my extremely overpriced soda at them.....however, my wallet screams at me and stops me from doing so.

I then begin to wonder..."where the fuck did that little shit go that was checking tickets?"


naturally, he's long gone.....surely to harass his next group of paying customers while these little bitches are gabbing free in clear throughout the movie I paid my hard earned money to see.


the moral of this story? most screen jumpers don't try to sneak it at the very beginning assholes....stand in the damn hall and watch for the giggly bunch of kids that are hopping from room to room and harass them.....chances are, if I'm loaded in treats and actually making an attempt to show my ticket stub, I have paid my dues and you should probably just say "don't worry about it man...go ahead"

then, when you catch those little bastards....BAN THEM!! hell wal-mart can do it...so can you.

there are enough problems patrons face when going to the cinema these days......the ones that can be avoided.....should.



jasn

[sirdizzy]

I use to theatre hop in college all the time, I'd pay for one ticket and go to 3-4 movies every week (I saw like 150 movies in the theatres one year doing this). But I always planned my escapades out well in advance (some might call be OCD others anal) I would know when every movie ended and began. I would plan which was the best movie to go to first and what order to see them in so I wouldn't miss any of the film. I also knew what theatre to sit in if I had to wait for a theatre to get cleaned.

I've never screen jumped, but theatre hopped oh I have done that.

And popcorn is a bad meal for an entire day, it will make you ill if its the only think you have eaten during your 8-9 hour excursion of film.

[bigred760]

I've dealt with the annoying pimple-faced ticket taker with my arms full of overpriced refreshments. That really pisses me off when I have to deal with that; though it's been a while since the theater I go to now has the guy or gal taking the tickets before you get to the concession stands.

I don't really notice theater hoppers or screen jumpers to be honest. I try to go to matinees as much as possible and the theaters usually empty before they show up.

[teenkiller]

I used to BE that guy. I never gave a fuck about checking tickets though. The only time I really tried to pay attention to shit like that was when a manager was standing next to me. Otherwise I could have cared less. Hey I was scamming the place myself so it was all good. Well thats all for now GOoD JOURNEY my fellow schmoes.

[Scarfather]

In my area they usually only do that on opening night, but that doesn't stop the kiddy grade cocksuckers who somehow GOT tickets to Knocked Up.

R! As in ARRR matey! Stay out of my r-rated flicks and take your cell phones and shiteating jokes with you.

[teenkiller]

Originally posted by Scarfather
R! As in ARRR matey! Stay out of my r-rated flicks and take your cell phones and shiteating jokes with you.

Seriously. I despise these people who feel it is their duty to grace us with their unabashed "wit". When something major happens on screen we can always count on them with no fail to retort with some snappy remark. These kinds of fuckheads, as well as these jerkoffs who feel that they have to laugh during any tense/scary part in a horror film are the reason why I hate going to the movies anymore. I pay $10 to get aggraveated by people who can't handle watching a movie. Well thats all for now GOoD JOURNEY my fellow schmoes.

[sezperai]

since we are on the subject of loud idiots who feel the need to scream something at a "tense" or "scary" moment in a film


since when is "OHHHH HIT THAT NIGGA!!" funny?


i'm sorry...maybe it's the cracker in me...but i just don't see the humor in it.


jasn

[Obergeist]

Originally posted by teenkiller
Seriously. I despise these people who feel it is their duty to grace us with their unabashed "wit". When something major happens on screen we can always count on them with no fail to retort with some snappy remark. These kinds of fuckheads, as well as these jerkoffs who feel that they have to laugh during any tense/scary part in a horror film are the reason why I hate going to the movies anymore. I pay $10 to get aggraveated by people who can't handle watching a movie. Well thats all for now GOoD JOURNEY my fellow schmoes.

This happened to me during The Host. Everytime the monster was on screen this bitch at the back was laughing this loud manic laugh. Her boyfriend did nothing because I'm pretty sure he was finger banging her at the time.

[bigred760]

Originally posted by Obergeist
This happened to me during The Host. Everytime the monster was on screen this bitch at the back was laughing this loud manic laugh. Her boyfriend did nothing because I'm pretty sure he was finger banging her at the time.

Maybe that's reason she was laughing.

[teenkiller]

Originally posted by bigred760
Maybe that's reason she was laughing.

I guess you could say he tickled her pink...

Well thats all for now GOoD JOURNEY my fellow schmoes.

[mutesaint]

Originally posted by sezperai
since we are on the subject of loud idiots who feel the need to scream something at a "tense" or "scary" moment in a film


since when is "OHHHH HIT THAT NIGGA!!" funny?


i'm sorry...maybe it's the cracker in me...but i just don't see the humor in it.


jasn

It was funny...once. I was re-watching "The Relic" in a dollar theatre and was the only white guy in the entire theatre. It got to the scene when the monster was taking out all of the cops. When the last guy remaining was trying to clime out this guy in front started yelling "RUN NIGGA RUN!!" over and over again. One of the funniest things Ive seen in a theatre.

[sezperai]

Originally posted by mutesaint
It was funny...once. I was re-watching "The Relic" in a dollar theatre and was the only white guy in the entire theatre. It got to the scene when the monster was taking out all of the cops. When the last guy remaining was trying to clime out this guy in front started yelling "RUN NIGGA RUN!!" over and over again. One of the funniest things Ive seen in a theatre.


yea i guess it was funny when I heard a guy do it back in '93


now it's just old and usually accompanied by "oooh dat nigga crazy" and then a bunch of chatter in the theater about how funny the black guy in the front is.

if i want to pay 10 dollars for stupid black guy humor....i'll buy a ticket to rush hour 3.

jasn

[HedwigX]

Originally posted by sezperai
if i want to pay 10 dollars for stupid black guy humor....i'll buy a ticket to rush hour 3.

jasn

He shoots... he scores... (swish) :D

Anyway, people shouting out in cinemas does irritate me sometimes- it can be absolutely hilarious on occasion and annoying as fuck on others. When I saw the third Pirates film, a really fat guy in our screening, during the tentacle rape scene, (you know what I mean) shouted out "Oh, you're done, son..." in a strong Yorkshire accent. Maybe you just had to be there, but I was, and I snorted Fanta out of my nose laughing.

And then there's the other kind- this probably doesn't happen in America since it started out in the UK, but there's a kids' TV show where the annoying little shits who present it started a trend of shouting "Bogeys" in public places "hilariously." So I go to see King Kong, (first day, first screening) and one kid behind me shouts it out. What follows is every other little kid in the cinema shouting it too, not simultaneously, but one after the other. And this isn't in the trailers, this is at the start of the fucking movie.

God, I hate children.

[the_sneaker]

Originally posted by sirdizzy
I use to theatre hop in college all the time, I'd pay for one ticket and go to 3-4 movies every week (I saw like 150 movies in the theatres one year doing this). But I always planned my escapades out well in advance (some might call be OCD others anal) I would know when every movie ended and began. I would plan which was the best movie to go to first and what order to see them in so I wouldn't miss any of the film. I also knew what theatre to sit in if I had to wait for a theatre to get cleaned.

I've never screen jumped, but theatre hopped oh I have done that.

And popcorn is a bad meal for an entire day, it will make you ill if its the only think you have eaten during your 8-9 hour excursion of film.

Holy shit, dude! I did the exact same thing back in 05 and 06. I've done it a few times this year. But what shocks me so much is how we planned the movies out the same way. Fucking awesome!

[sirdizzy]

I don't do it as much now because my wife likes to go to the movies with me and she won't see more than 1 at a time.

[corran horn]

Oddly, I've NEVER experienced these kinds of problems either in my hometown (Youngstown-Warren) theaters or down here in Columbus (near OSU, with two nice theaters: Drexel Gateway which shows mainstream and indie movies for $6, and Lennox AMC 24). Perhaps it's b/c I usually go in the afternoons (during vacations and weekends) or b/c I prefer more intelligent fare, which weeds out the annoying ignoramuses. Even when I saw big mainstream movies like Lord of the Rings in crowded theaters, I never noticed this.

[bourahioro]

Originally posted by sirdizzy
I don't do it as much now because my wife likes to go to the movies with me and she won't see more than 1 at a time.


Trust me when I say "I feel your pain".

[The Pin]

Originally posted by mutesaint
It was funny...once. I was re-watching "The Relic" in a dollar theatre and was the only white guy in the entire theatre. It got to the scene when the monster was taking out all of the cops. When the last guy remaining was trying to clime out this guy in front started yelling "RUN NIGGA RUN!!" over and over again. One of the funniest things Ive seen in a theatre. I had a similar experience when I went to the midnight showing of snakes on a plane. There was a scene where a girl was surrounded by snakes or something and some guy yells out in a booming voice "RUN BITCH!" Then the whole theatre burst out laughing and began to applaud, it was great.

Superperfundo on the early eve of your day!

[Digifruitella]

Originally posted by Obergeist
This happened to me during The Host. Everytime the monster was on screen this bitch at the back was laughing this loud manic laugh. Her boyfriend did nothing because I'm pretty sure he was finger banging her at the time.

I went to see When a Stranger Calls remake, that same shit happened to me, an obnoxious BLACK teen with a group, but mostly HER laughed at every single tense scene. She was the ONLY one in the packed theater laughing. I was by myself, and when I'm by myself I usually just keep quiet. But had I been with someone to back me up, like a few friends I'd say something.

[Digifruitella]

Originally posted by the_sneaker
Holy shit, dude! I did the exact same thing back in 05 and 06. I've done it a few times this year. But what shocks me so much is how we planned the movies out the same way. Fucking awesome!

I was planning a screen hop in may of 05. I printed off the schedule and highlit every movie I wanted to see. There was I think 4 total. But I never went through with it. However, I screen hopped with a buddy to House of Wax after Kingdom of Heaven. As well as to Borat, after we went to see the hilarious The Gravedancers (the 8 "too shocking" films marathon they had)

[sirdizzy]

Originally posted by Digifruitella
I was planning a screen hop in may of 05. I printed off the schedule and highlit every movie I wanted to see. There was I think 4 total. But I never went through with it. However, I screen hopped with a buddy to House of Wax after Kingdom of Heaven. As well as to Borat, after we went to see the hilarious The Gravedancers (the 8 "too shocking" films marathon they had)


I love this, you screen hopped twice, I screen hoped every other weekend for 3 years, well over 100 times. Dude I saw shit that no man should see because I was screen hopping, Agent Cody Banks, along Came Polly, Around the World in 80 Days, Bad Company, Big Bounce, Boat trip, Catch that Kid, Cat in the Hat, Catwoman, Chasing Liberty, Daddy day Care, Darkness Falls, Dickie roberts, Dumb and Dumberer, Ella enchanted, envy, Freddy Got Fingered, Half Past Dead, Head of State, Jeepers Creepers 2, Johnny English, Kangaroo Jack, Master of Disguise, Mona Lisa Smile, Napoleon Dynamite, National Security, Shark tale, Spy Kids 3d, Stuck on You, Thunderbirds, welcome to Mooseport, Wrong Turn the list goes on and on,

Maybe its not so bad I don't theatre hop as much anymore I saw some real dogs back then because hey I saw everything. Shit if I were doing it nowdays I might have to put movies like Code Name The Cleaner on there and nobody should ever have to do that.

[Kevin Smith fan]

The only screen hopping I'm guilty of is buying a pg-13 or lower movie ticket and sneaking into an r rated movie playing at the same time. But that's due to the douche bag theater managers that wanna charge me for an adult ticket, but not let my parents buy me an r rated ticket just because I'll still be seeing it alone.

[yorrick brown]

i don`t think they`re allowed to hold your food for hygiene reasons?.

actually i don`t know i just made that up lol.i hear you i think they like the power they have .if i don`t rip this bit of paper you can`t see this movie hahahaha. fucking assholes :mad:

[Monotreme]

The rant itself is understandable, but allow me to commemorate and complement your wording. One of the funniest rants I've EVER read!

[Digifruitella]

Originally posted by sirdizzy
I love this, you screen hopped twice, I screen hoped every other weekend for 3 years

yeah man, it's really fun to do that, but not when you're alone. I only did it with a friend. There's something about doing it with somebody else, a rush of adrenaline you get. Like, we did that with Borat, even though it wasn't opening week, it was like the second week so they didn't check the tix but I told my friend to just pull out the previous ticket and look at it while walking fast into the room. We did that, and the usher didn't even bother checking but then, he wasn't checking anyway.

Nowadays if you wanna screenhop, you won't be able to do it in the first few weeks because they check everyone before you walk inside the room, unless it's shit movie like house of Wax which we got in easily on opening day.

I would've done the hopping as often as you, but i dont wanna do it alone.

[Simius_Dei]

Originally posted by Monotreme
The rant itself is understandable, but allow me to commemorate and complement your wording. One of the funniest rants I've EVER read!


haha thanx.

and yea this is sezperai...........FINALLY got my new account activated...been meaning to do it for awhile.


Jasn

[RustyRazor]

Because of exactly what happened to you, I always keep my stub in my cellphone case which I clip to my shirt.

If Commander Clearisil rolls up on me with that "TIckets please?" line, I pull out my stubs and say "There we are. I paid for my ticket, unlike your friends you let sneak in the fire exit. Have a good day, jackhole".

I got harrassed in my younger years when I went to movies cause of theater jumpers, so I'm cautious / paranoid about it.

[Ki'esha Foxx]

At the theater we just had built (and the old one, too) there was always someone standing at the entrance between the snack stand and the box office so you couldn't really sneak in unless it was really late, really early, you knew the employee personally, and there was no manager watching everything (the old theater had about two or three on duty at a time and the new one has employees at every turn).

But yeah, sorry to hear about your incident, dude. I hate missing the previews too so I know how you feel.

Well, off to see Transformers!

[Lemmywinks]

Originally posted by sirdizzy
I use to theatre hop in college all the time, I'd pay for one ticket and go to 3-4 movies every week (I saw like 150 movies in the theatres one year doing this). But I always planned my escapades out well in advance (some might call be OCD others anal) I would know when every movie ended and began. I would plan which was the best movie to go to first and what order to see them in so I wouldn't miss any of the film. I also knew what theatre to sit in if I had to wait for a theatre to get cleaned.

I've never screen jumped, but theatre hopped oh I have done that.

And popcorn is a bad meal for an entire day, it will make you ill if its the only think you have eaten during your 8-9 hour excursion of film.

I feel like we've known each other for years dude. I have been doing the same exact thing. I'd usually go on a saturday. I'd plan it out thursday night. Matching up times. Making sure my next movie started at the right time. I totally agree with the popcorn. I saw 4 movies on a saturday once. I saw Collateral, but before I saw it, I got a large popcorn, ate the whole thing. I didn't eat popcorn for a year. I felt so sick. The most I've ever done is 5 movies. I think around Christmastime of 03. Most of them were bad though. I think I saw Die another Day, 8 Crazy Nights, Solaris, They and....something else. I can't remember what, but it was shitty too. It was 5 bad movies in a row. I never did that again. I mostly do 3 or so every couple of weeks.