When movies suck so bad they just make up their own blurbs

[Derek237]

I don't know if anyone has seen the commercials for the movie Underdog (sure to be an early Oscar contender), but there's something that really irks me about it. They have all these blurbs fly at the screen, sort of Gene Shalit-esque comments like, "Pure bred entertainment," "Fur stars," etc. So here's my question, why are they even bothering with this? Do they think if the studio RELEASING the film tells people that it's good, people will see it? Or do they think people are just assuming that some wacky critic said this but really didn't? I mean, why don't they just make up blurbs like: "The greatest comedy of the summer," or "an insant classic, fun for the whole family, etc."? It just seems really stupid.

Any other examples of this?

[teenkiller]

I can't think of any other examples but I did see the commercial you're referring to earlier today and thought to myself "What kind of bullfuck is THIS?". These lame phony blurbs suck ass. They weren't even funny! Well thats all for now GOoD JOURNEY my fellow schmoes.

[JJFlamingo]

Because film studios are idiots and they think all people are stupid...:mad:

[Cronos]

well, people do actually listen to and believe that sort of shit

first one that came to mind that has something like that is the trailer for Across The Universe. calls it something like the most exillerating and entertaining, most original and daring movie of the year or some such garbage

that sort of crap just pisses me off and makes me not want to pay to see it, if even see it at all

[vesaker]

Originally posted by JJFlamingo
Because film studios are idiots and they think all people are stupid...:mad:

http://www.animatoon.co.kr/reviewlist/45/45images/dvd45_1.jpg

Cartman "So you really think 1/4 of Americans are retarded?"

Kyle "Yes, 1/4 of americans are retarded. Let's do a survey, there are 4 of us and your a retard. 1/4 of Americans are retarded."

Its facts like this are why movie companies still try to use these lame blurbs to sell their movies.

[Dom Shady]

Those blurbs always make me laugh. I always imagine them being like this...

New York Times reviewer:"This movie isn't one of the best movies of '07. In fact, it's horrible."

Blurb on the commercial: The New York Times says "One of the best movies of '07."

Of course I'm not sure if this kind of stuff really happens but this is why I never pay attention to the blurbs. Also, if you see an excessive amount of commercials pushing a movie, most likely it isn't good.

[Derek237]

That reminds me, if you ever see the DVD for the movie I am Sam, there is a blurb on the back from Roger Ebert that says something along the lines of "Michelle Pfieffer gives an amazing performance....Sean Penn is one of the best actors working today." However, this was from a negative review and the movie got 2 thumbs down. Obviously trying to convince people that a respected critic liked the movie, while in fact he just said that one of the performances was "amazing" and said that in general Sean Penn is a great actor.


And another funny thing I remember: the movie Behind Enemy Lines, with Owen Wilson. The studios wanted to make it seem like it was some huge deal and some epic movie event that everyone was going to see, so the series of commercials they played counted down to the release, like, "IN 5 DAYS, Owen Wilson goes behind enemy lines", or something like that. But then the movie comes out, screened for critics, and I guess it only got one good review (by Peter Travers I think), so on the day the move comes out you think the commercial is going to show the good press, but instead the commercial goes something like this, "TODAY Owen Wilson went behind enemy lines, and it was: [cutting to blurb] 'Amazing' ".......and that was it. Amazing. All that build up just to see one critic liked it. I just thought that was ridiculous, and I'm pretty sure the movie didn't do that well, either.

[Le_Big_Mac]

I still don't see how this proves that movies are making up their own blurbs rather than just rigorously searching for reviews from the most mentally retarded critics in the country. However, Hollywood doesn't seem that far from doing that. In the mean time, we can hope they'll eventually be cracked down on when discovered to be making up blurbs from deceased critics through a TV spot for Underdog 5 where it is said that both Pauline Kael and Gene Siskel gave it "*** 1/2 stars."

[bonoferox]

I remember when the only positive comment for the DVD of "Dumb and Dumberer" was from the Indianapolis Star newspaper which said "Wacky Fun".....I was never more embarassed to live in Indy.

[inglourious basterd]

Those blurbs are easy to make because there have always been peopl like Joel Siegel and Larry King who have said insipid things like "The best film of this year or any year" for movies that they interviewed.

[Derek237]

Wasn't there some interview recently where Larry King was complaining about the blurb used for Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest? The blurb was something like, "Finally! A movie worth watching over and over again!", but in the interview he said that he was misquoted and actually meant that the movie was so confusing that he would need to watch it over and over again. If anyone could find the interview, that would be awesome, and further proof of the uselessness of blurbs.

[Dirtyfrog]

David Manning for president ! :D

[jolanar]

I sometimes wonder if obscure critics give terrible movies good reviews just to get in the commercial or if their lucky maybe they can get on the dvd.

[DrJellyfingers]

Originally posted by jolanar
I sometimes wonder if obscure critics give terrible movies good reviews just to get in the commercial or if their lucky maybe they can get on the dvd.

yeah i think that all the time. also if you call a part 4 or a part 5 "the best one yet!" you are guaranteed to get quoted somewhere.

[thedudeman69]

I remember when Blood and Chocolate came out and the tv blurbs said. "..Finally, a vampire movie that you can sink your teeth into." I had a stroke right there. Seriously? I mean, bad puns are fun to laugh at, but that was just horrible.

[adamjohnson]

I distinctly remember one on a DVD that said, "Worth Watching."

[gyro_44]

Very good rant, I agree completely. I was watching the ads for Underdog and I was pretty disgusted when I figured out they were not only making up their own quotes, but turning them into horrible dog puns as well. I know it's a kids movie, but come on now.

Was David Manning the name of the fake critic that Sony had used for quote blurbs a few years back? That was just shameless.

[Dirtyfrog]

Originally posted by gyro_44
Was David Manning the name of the fake critic that Sony had used for quote blurbs a few years back? That was just shameless.

Yes , worst case of false advertising ever. I'm too lazy to write it so i'm just gonna copy & paste from Wikipedia

"David Manning" was a fictitious film critic, created by a marketing executive working for Sony Corporation around July 2000 to give consistently good reviews for releases from Sony subsidiary Columbia Pictures. Several blurbs posted under the name "David Manning" were written for the medieval action/drama A Knight's Tale (citing Heath Ledger as "this year's hottest new star!") and Rob Schneider's comedy The Animal ("Another winner!"), [1] the latter of which generally received very poor reviews by real critics.

[teenkiller]

That was their FIRST mistake. No REAL critic would have given a Rob Schneider movie a glowing review. What a sad sad bunch of people. Can't believe I never heard of this before. Well thats all for now GOoD JOURNEY my fellow schmoes.

[mutesaint]

There was some shitty horror movie a few years back, cant think of the exact one, like boogeyman or the fog remake. I remember them marketing it with "The Scariest movie of all time". They through that phrase into every damn trailer. Might have been When a Stranger Calls.

[adamjohnson]

It was Boogeyman.

[mutesaint]

Originally posted by adamjohnson
It was Boogeyman.

Thank you.

[Kikabi]

On the Running Scared DVD it "quotes" Roger Ebert as "It goes so far over the top. I am in awe." The funny thing about it, to me, is that I couldn't figure out if the quote meant that he liked it or not. It really could be read both ways.

They actually took the words "goes so far over the top" cut out all the rest of what he wrote about that, then added his "I am in awe." Ebert gave it 3 out 5 stars, btw, not exactly a glowing endorsement.

But, yeah, the whole "Don't miss the smash hit of the summer" campaigns truly bug me when they advertize movies this way before they're even released.

[BadCoverVersion]

Originally posted by adamjohnson
I distinctly remember one on a DVD that said, "Worth Watching."

See my post here (http://joblo.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=103175) :)

Yes, this is tiresome I agree.

[Vash_4_Prez]

lol my favorite one, mainly cause i did like the movie, was when Smoking Aces took the "blam blam expletive blam explitive blam blam explitive blam credits" quote and used it to lure people in. that's proof positive that even bad marketing is good marketing :D

[NathanRomano]

^^
Theres no such thing as bad press

[mutesaint]

lol my favorite one, mainly cause i did like the movie, was when Smoking Aces took the "blam blam expletive blam explitive blam blam explitive blam credits" quote and used it to lure people in. that's proof positive that even bad marketing is good marketing :D

That was one of the most amazing uses of a bad review Ive seen. I still consider it a grave injustice not to have that trailer on the dvd.

[Brendan M.]

I actually saw a segment about this on a TV show. When a movie gets no positive reviews from the top critics, they go out and find small time people who gave it a descent or good review. This usually includes local radio DJs, web sites, ect.

One studio also once made up a fake critic that they used to give good reviews to movies, but they got caught and had to stop.

[RustyRazor]

It just goes to show you how sleazy a studio can be.
If here them compare "The Golden Compass" to "Lord of the Rings" one more friggin' time, I swear I'm going to hurl.

Have I seen "The Golden Compass" yet? No.
Will I be seeing it? No.
But why? Because it doesn't look that entertaining, the little girl in the movie pissed me completely from watching it, and the studio trying to use that "in the tradition of" bullshit just has me deciding to pass.

They don't have any shame, just $12 a pop per movie goer.
What a business.

[Kung Food]

Speaking of this kind of thing, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't the wretched case for the wretched Halloween remake quote Bloody Disgusting? It would be amusing because they lambasted that shitfest and it even made the "worst ten" list.

[Tweek]

I still don't see how this proves that movies are making up their own blurbs rather than just rigorously searching for reviews from the most mentally retarded critics in the country. However, Hollywood doesn't seem that far from doing that. In the mean time, we can hope they'll eventually be cracked down on when discovered to be making up blurbs from deceased critics through a TV spot for Underdog 5 where it is said that both Pauline Kael and Gene Siskel gave it "*** 1/2 stars."


I remember a commercial for that movie -shudder- Step Up where there were HUGE blurbs. I had thought something was iffy. Then I saw it again, and noticed they were just adjectives. No source was credited.


Meh.

[Derek237]

I think I remember that....just couldn't remember the movie. But then again there are so many movies about dance competitions that maybe they did the exact same kind of commercial as Step Up's.

Why can't they just be honest and make up blurbs like "instantly forgettable!" or "same old shit"?

[Tagia_Romero]

I find the whole practice rather amusing actually. Some people stoop pretty low to promote some major crap. :p

[RustyRazor]

Anyone see the commercials for "Alvin and the Chipmunks"?
Shots of people nowhere near a movie theater with their voices altered?
Probably turned down free tickets cause they know how fuck-awful the movie is.

HOW could it have failed?:rolleyes:

[NathanRomano]

Anyone see the commercials for "Alvin and the Chipmunks"?
Shots of people nowhere near a movie theater with their voices altered?
Probably turned down free tickets cause they know how fuck-awful the movie is.

HOW could it have failed?:rolleyes:

Was it supposed to be like they just saw the movie in the lobby?


And I kind of enjoyed 'Boogeyman'. Did anyone else?

[ilovemovies]

Back when Little Nickey came out it quoted Roger Ebert as saying that it was one of Sandler's best movies. Of coarse what the quote didn't say was that he still gave the movie a thumbs down.

Thought that was amusing.

[Donnie_Darko]

Okay, even tho I really wanna see it, the trailers for The Orphanage kill me, cause they use the old "You'll have to repeat to yourself, it's only a movie!"... over hype can kill, people. Expectations set SO high, a great movie can seem "good" after being bashed over the head for weeks.

And for real movie fans... most people on this board... blurbs mean shit... but, for the vast moron public, reading "MUST SEE" obviously reads like an order, not a quote. :o

[Derek237]

This just in:

Disney's new crap-o-rama "College Road Trip" is...


HILARIOUS


HEARTWARMING

and

THE FIRST MUST-SEE COMEDY OF 2008


-According to....its ads.

[DarthWade]

Jeff Craig is a notorious name to see on a box or poster. He rarely sees any movie he "reviews".

That guy from Maxim is one to watch out for (name escapes me right now) - he's a quote whore. So take him with a grain of salt.

Another awesome "trustworthy" source of reviews is the commercials showing people coming out of the theatres saying how awesome this movie is, etc etc...just once I'd love to see the people say, "ah, man it fucking sucks!!!"

[Derek237]

But even when a movie movie DOES do something like that (not with audience interviews but with reviews), it's to seem cool like, "oh this movies so cool any reputable source is going to hate it because they're just so old and out of touch, and we're truly cool cause we don't even care if you old people hate it, lol, lol"

case in point: Smokin' Aces.

They had that commercial that said: Here's what the New York Times had to say about Smokin' Aces, and gave a blurb of that review that went: "Expletive, Expletive, guy sits on a chainsaw" etc.


But I guess there are many people here who thought the movie was cool but I thought it sucked and the way they advertised it alone makes it seem like they know it's a peice of trash it is and they're even proud of it. But whatever. Kind of a tangent.


But I think I'd have more respect for a movie if they had actual existing blurbs, even if they were complete bullshit from an idiot or someone who works for the company, or a fake one altogether. At least in that sense, you know, they're trying to fool us....but when it's just some blurb-like tagline with no source at all...it's really, really, really insulting to everyone's intelligence. It's like, "heh, bet you're so stupid you won't even notice."

Well...I guess anyone with a shred of intelligence wouldn't have much interest in seeing College Road Trip, anyway.

[MISFITS_Fiend]

But I guess there are many people here who thought the movie was cool but I thought it sucked and the way they advertised it alone makes it seem like they know it's a peice of trash it is and they're even proud of it. But whatever. Kind of a tangent.

I HATE when movie trailers portray a movie as being one way when it is completely the opposite. Once again, Smokin' Aces. The trailer makes it look like one long gunfight (like Shoot 'Em Up), but the movie itself was more of a character piece with way too many characters. Sure, it had some action parts, but it took itself a lot more serious than the trailers made it seem.