Hatchet

[Bourne101]

http://www.iconsoffright.com/HATCHET/poster1.jpg

Directed by Adam Green

Genre: Horror

Tagline: It's not a remake. It's not a sequel. And it's not based on a Japanese one. (BADASS FUCKING TAGLINE!)

Plot Outline: When a group of tourists on a New Orleans haunted swamp tour find themselves stranded in the wilderness, their evening of fun and spooks turns into a horrific nightmare.

Starring: Joel Moore, Deon Richmond, Tamara Feldman and Kane Hodder

Rated R for strong bloody horror violence, sexual content, nudity and language. (edited for re-rating; previously NC-17 for extreme violence and gore)

Runtime: 95 minutes

Finally! An good looking, original slasher flick. I will be there opening weekend for sure.

[Cronos]

What the hell, this is actually finally getting released :eek:.

And that tagline fucking rules :D.

[Bourne101]

Originally posted by Cronos
What the hell, this is actually finally getting released :eek:.

And that tagline fucking rules :D.

Yup. Next Friday it will be released. I think it might be a limited release, but I heard it was definitely going wide eventually.

[XCoRyX]

Can't fucking wait...all slasher fans (or horror fans in general) should seriously get out there and support this flick. I saw a short clip at a movie convention and it was insanely awesome,they had to replay it again due to the applauds.

[EDsoulsurvive*]

its actually playing about 20 minutes away from my school, i'm going to have to drag someone to see this wih me.

[XCoRyX]

Not even playing in my State yet which is no fun to know....

[Madhatter]

the movie ends with a violent storm hitting the area that resurfaced some plane wreckage, and in that wreckage their was a transmitter which then brings a fur trader to the rescue. This prevents having to struggle through the long winter.
;) :D
.....this ending sounds familiar.

[ilovemovies]

Just saw the trailer and personally I think this movie looks pretty awful.

[someguy]

That's a pretty horrible tagline, and the movie looks like average slasher fare. I'd rather play russian roulette at the STV titles in a Blockbuster. The only thing that gives me some interest is the amount of positive word towards it.

[XCoRyX]

Thats what it is trying to be,though...it wants to be that typical, old-school generic 80s slasher film.

[someguy]

That's kind of my point though, it's being nothing more than an 80s slasher. I don't know why the movie is priding on the fact that it's being one worn out type of film rather than another worn out type of film. I like slashers, but unless the movie is entertaining enough (which I haven't gotten the impression of so far) or if things are pushed in a different direction than what's usually done I don't have much interest in watching it.

[XCoRyX]

It seems to be targetting those that are into that type of stuff though,mainly. It wants to be fun and old-school...i'm sure they want some fresh things in it here and there but they mainly seem to just want to be that typical slasher flick that everybody hates on critically etc., but its been quite the opposite so far. I personally since day one of hearing it would be this type of same-old slasher have been insanely excited.

[LordSimen]

Hatchet is going to be freakin' glorious.

[ilovemovies]

I hope, then, it's more Halloween and Nightmare on Elm Street and less Friday the 13th.

Love the Nightmare movies, enjoyed the Halloween franchise mostly but I REALLY hate the Friday the 13th flicks.

[Moviefan02000]

70 theaters next weekend..

[psycheoutsteve]

Originally posted by someguy
That's kind of my point though, it's being nothing more than an 80s slasher. I don't know why the movie is priding on the fact that it's being one worn out type of film rather than another worn out type of film. I like slashers, but unless the movie is entertaining enough (which I haven't gotten the impression of so far) or if things are pushed in a different direction than what's usually done I don't have much interest in watching it.

I agree, this looks pretty horrible and unoriginal. However, if fans of 80's slasher flicks crave a retread of their favorite genre, they can't lose with Hatchet. I'm still waiting for a more original horror flick to come out.

I don't really get what people saw in "The Host" either. I didn't think it was very original or all that entertaining really...

[Frank the Tank]

I think this looks and sounds great, but that tagline is pretty arrogant and pretentious. I love slasher movies and while I don't think this will be as original as Behind The Mask was, it should still make for an engaging time at the movies.

[XCoRyX]

of course,still no luck of it playing near me. i also am fearing it will flop miserably as did Behind the mask. I love Anchor bay for what they do for horror movies and such,but when it comes to there theatrically released movies they do no TV spots whatsoever it seems. A few internet ad's here and there won't bring in the millions.

[psycheoutsteve]

Originally posted by XCoRyX
of course,still no luck of it playing near me. i also am fearing it will flop miserably as did Behind the mask. I love Anchor bay for what they do for horror movies and such,but when it comes to there theatrically released movies they do no TV spots whatsoever it seems. A few internet ad's here and there won't bring in the millions.

The marketing for this flick so far has been horrible. It comes out in less than a week and the only preview I've seen of it was on one of the dvd's I just bought. The preview didn't show much at all, just a couple of quotes praising the film to high heaven and a "boo" moment at the end. Show us some damn footage already!

[CreeperBEATNGU]

I'd love to see this movie, but according to BOM it's opening on 70 screens.:(

[teenkiller]

Originally posted by Cronos
And that tagline fucking rules :D.

Apparently it's what some studio told the director when he was shopping it around in regards to why it would never be successful. Let's hope he's proven wrong. Well thats all for now GOoD JOURNEY my fellow schmoes.

[Bourne101]

This probably won't be very succesful. For one, it is only opening on 70 screens, and most movies that only open on that many screens, when they expand, they don't do all that well, with the expection of a few sleeper hits. Secondly, Halloween was just released, is kicking ass at the BO, and after Halloween, people will be waiting until October until their next horror fix. And last but not least, the marketing has been shit. I could ask anyone I know if they've heard of this, and I bet none of them would have a clue what I was talking about.

1. Small amount of screens
2. Second slasher in two weeks, the other having huge success
3. Horrible marketing

=

FLOP

But I'm still dying to see it regardless.

[someguy]

I don't think this was ever intended to have a big release in the first place.

[jolanar]

I've never even heard of it before now. But that tag line is full of win.

[XCoRyX]

Yeah,I see another Behind the Mask type of flop. Anchor Bay needs to step up in the marketing and promotional areas of this game. Sucks, because this seems like a great path for a new slasher character, but 70 screens isn't going to provide that.

[dreamcurls]

cool! :cool:
i wanna see this!

[CuatroDiablos]

Wow ..this and wrong turn 2 really surprised me , probably the best slasher films I have seen in years. Hatchet is as good and violent as it gets I doubt that the rated R version that's coming out this weekend will have all these over the top kills...

Yes there's a very nice unrated DVD quality version out on the net , I know the MPAA butchered this film so I wanted to get the full experience , I will buy the DVD though. I hope Victor Crowley comes back for another killing romp. 9/10









Spoilers


The third kill is amazing , this big hulking motherfucker just grabs this old fat guy and starts chopping him down from neck to torso with an axe and rips him in half then he proceeds to grab the old guys wife by the mouth and rips it straight off...I was speechless because the camera focused on the horror never trying to hide what was happening.

[I Am Legend]

This is actually the first time I hear about the movie. It does look gritty and bloody, but not necessarily different or unique from 99% of the other crappy slasher films that have been released over the last decade.

[Superplasmatron]

looks fun

[daddiefatsacks]

GODAMN!!!

this is a fuckin horror movie! Brutal killings, lots of tits, hilarious dialogue and characters you ACTUALLY give a shit about when they die, plus a badass killer (not so innovative, i mean if you've seen Wrong Turn, its one of those inbreds).

Loved every minute of it

8/10

[Bourne101]

Hatchet - 8/10

This is a review of the NC-17 version. Old school American horror is right! This brings back memories of the good old days when good slashers were a regular thing. This movie is funny, scary, suspensful, fun, crazy, over the top, extremely, and I mean extremely fucking violent, and I had a goddamn blast watching it! It is pretty cheesy throughout, but it was written that way and doesn't take itself too seriously which is a big plus for a slasher flick. The acting isn't all that great, but it is a slasher so that can be expected. The directing was pretty damn good if I do say so myself, and I loved the creepy yet cool atmosphere. Now for the violence. I don't know how different the NC-17 version is from the R-rated version in terms of violence, but I would say, major cuts would have been needed to make this an R. I'm talking about severe double digit hackings with a hatchet on one dude, a shoveled off head, a head completely turned around and ripped off, arms pulled back and ripped off, a person thrown on top of a sharp stick and impaled and much, much more all with mucho nasty bucketloads of blood 'n guts thrown in. Yes, this movie has violence like I've never seen. Victor Crowley is one mucho scary mofo, who makes most movie killers look like a pre-school bully. If you like slashers, this is one for the ages! See the NC-17 version!

[someguy]

Alright, I saw the original cut also just now and I'll give my thoughts.

Even after the slasher revival in the late 1990s from the Scream franchise and the 70s horror revival not too long ago with films like Wrong Turn, it appears that the true old school days of horror are still being missed. Hatchet hopes to bring back the days of old with a classic approach to American horror movies. Like the tagline says it's not a remake, sequel or Japanese-based movie.

Hatchet is a giant tribute to the horror films that came out decades ago, but the problem is that it's too dedicated. While trying to bring back the atmosphere and entertainment, writer/director Adam Green also decided to bring the cliches and flaws that were littered in the original movies.

The movie starts off poorly with Robert Englund and another guy doing a bad job as stereotypical rednecks. The acting was bad, the writing was bad and the gore effects were flat out terrible. Once the Michael Bay type credits sequence kicked in with Marilyn Manson's 'This is the New Shit' playing I was expecting the next eighty minutes to be insufferable.

We're introduced to Ben and Marcus, two friends who are trying to have fun at Mardi Gras. Ben just broke up with his girlfriend of eight years and would rather go on a haunted swamp tour than be around topless girls who just remind him of his ex. Marcus wants to go get drunk and have sex with slutty drunk girls. Ben decides to go on his own to the swamp tour, but Marcus decides to be a good friend and tag along. They join a pair of Girls Gone Wild wannabes who are being filmed by a pervy director along with a generic tourist couple and a pissed off girl for the tour (which I should add is guided by an Asian with a bad Louisiana accent).

Of course, the boat crashes during the swamp tour and they get on land. The problem is that the land they're on belongs to the deformed and insane Victor Crowley. In no time Victor shows up and starts slashing while everyone tries to survive. Right away, I have to give credit to the brutality and gore in the second half. The gore effects improved as the movie went along, and the methods of disposal were brutal. There is also plenty of T&A in the beginning of the movie also, so luckily those two areas of slasher movies were covered well.

Unfortunately we get treated to the bad parts of slasher movies too. You have a dumb bimbo, black guy (it's just a lot less exaggerated) and hero girl thrown in the mix. The only likable character in the bunch was Ben, who had a good transformation from whiny ex-lover to a guy trying to be smart and survive. Plenty of the standard horror cliches are used also. Remember the good ol' "when the killer is down, don't make sure he's gonna stay down just run away" bit? That's used quite a lot in the movie. Towards the end, the characters started making decisions that just took stupidity to a whole new level. The ending is pretty insulting to the viewer's intelligence at one point, and a three year old could figure out what'll happen.

It isn't all bad though. There's actually a lot of funny bits throughout the movie, a good cameo by Tony Todd and all the main characters did their parts well. The Louisiana swamps are a great setting for a slasher that isn't capitalized on much (anyone remember Venom?). There's a decent amount of atmosphere at points, and they should have used settings like the cemetery more.

I actually find it a bit ironic that Hatchet would pride itself on not being a remake when it really is a remake of films like The Hills Have Eyes or Deliverance. I could call it Wrong Turn in a swamp, but hell that movie did its fair share of taking stuff from the same movies. These movies have been done so much though that another one is really just beating a dead horse. By now, things should be pushing forward. I would think that celebrating a movie for pure replication would be silly at this point, but I guess it's not. Hatchet offers nothing new or original to slashers, nor does it provide enough overall entertainment or intensity/scares to forgive it. It's just another forgettable movie to throw on the pile of the hundreds that came before it.

6/10

[daddiefatsacks]

*SPOILERS*


when the dude from office space gets chopped apart bit by bit, when Crowley came out...i didnt think it was actually him at first, but an imposter or someone part of the tour, cause he just came out and stood there for a few seconds, but man when he went to town on that old dude and his wife....best kill of the movie rght there was the older lady, ripping her head in two via the mouth, woah!!!



as for the two bimbos, the brunette was smokin!

[Frank the Tank]

I just went through the cast list and now I want to see this more than ever. Bud from The Cosby Show and The Robotman from Grandma's Boy are among the leads = comic gold.

[daddiefatsacks]

Originally posted by Frank the Tank
I just went through the cast list and now I want to see this more than ever. Bud from The Cosby Show and The Robotman from Grandma's Boy are among the leads = comic gold.

wasnt the kid from cosby named Kenny?

[Frank the Tank]

Originally posted by daddiefatsacks
wasnt the kid from cosby named Kenny?

His nickname was Bud.

[Superplasmatron]

me i just downloaded it purely on someguys say so, I thinks its gonna be a good one

[athf1980]

sounds like somethign I would like but I'm going to have to wait tell dvd because I live in Huron, South Dakota. The town rarely get's the small movies.

[chinton]

After being dissapointed by so many horror films this was a surprisngly entertaining indie feature. I don't usually like slasher films and this is modeled after one to a t with absolutely no surprises in the narritive department. On the other hand what it does bring along is a well-written script with loads of funny lines, enjoyable characters, and a good villian. There is certianly nothing that ambitious about the film but it is tons better than most horror films that come out today. I even find it to be a lot better than the much more ambitious yet incredibly boring Halloween. This movie surprised me.


8/10

[LordSimen]

Hatchet is the pure definition of a fun horror movie. It effectively mixes everything from intense graphic violence with genuine suspense and comedy.

8/10

[Frank the Tank]

Wow, this is one of the more fun horror films of the decade so far, hell maybe ever. That tagline is kind of wrong though. I mean their was buckets of suspense, a pretty frightening monster, and some heartpounding jump scares. But, this was probably one of the funniest horror films I've ever seen. I think I laughed more during this than during Blades Of Glory. I'd say from a comedy standpoint of making me laugh constantly, it's only behind Superbad and Knocked Up from this year.

I really enjoyed all of the characters. The three leads of Ben, Marcus, and Marybeth are all really likeable. Nearly, everything Marcus says is pretty funny and his goofy bug eyed facial expressions were gold. Ben was pretty funny too. Most of the side characters were golden as well, especially the even dumber than the norm blonde b, the goofy asian with a fake Cajun accent and a fake asian accent tourguide, and Tony Todd's flamboyant cameo. The score during the beginning was hilarious as well. It sounded like it belonged in a Disney film and I loved it.

Now most horror/comedy hybrids are either just funny and not scary or just scary and not funny. This does pack in a lot of good jolts, intense chase scenes, and a creepy monster. Victor Crowley is one bad muthafucker. This dude, is like Jason on HGH and Roids. The violence is really graphic. I think this one is gorier than maybe 3 or 4 Friday The 13th films combined and I think I saw the R-Rated cut. The setting was nice and creepy as well. Setting a horror film by a swamp in Louisiana is always awesome and helps set the mood.

I saw this movie on TV Links.com so I don't know if it was the unrated or the R-Rated. It only seemed like it was a little over 70 minutes long, whereas on IMDB it lists the runtime as 91 minutes. So, either they really did butcher this one, or the cut missed some scenes. It didn't really seem like it. I also, thought the film ended way too sudden. It was a cool ending, but after all that buildup, I wanted a longer payoff. It did provide a good jolt

I guess I watched the NC-17 version since all of the gore that was described here is in it. Maybe, IMDB just were wrong with the time.

I didn't think it was a rehash of Hills Have Eyes/Deliverance at all. Wrong Turn sucked ass, so I'm not comparing it with this. I mean, sure the main baddy was a deformed hillbilly, but he seemed more concerned with destroying people than fucking with them, torturing them, and raping them. The tone was definately not as bleak as in those films. Sure, it pretty much lifted a few scenes exactly from say Friday The 13th, but I was kind of expecting that. For some reason, (Maybe Crowley's appearance) I was kind of getting more of a Pumpkinhead vibe than Deliverance.

9/10

[Superplasmatron]

first of all this has to be the most retarded film I've seen in ages, but its so silly and over the top i have to say i enjoyed it no end


so 7/10


(edit) in reality its more like a 5/10

[ilovemovies]

I'm shocked at the good response this is getting. This movie was TERRIBLE!

The gore was cheesy as hell, the dialogue was atrocious, the characters were annoying twats. The movie wasn't scary at all and often unintentionally hilarious. Yet many of the scenes and dialogue that were suppose to be funny were cringe inducing. And worst of all is Victor Crawley himself. He was such a laughably bad monster. Not to mention his strength is completely inconsistant. On one hand, they seemed to be able to hurt him pretty easily so they can run away. On the otherhand, he strong enough to pick people and squeeze them to death and rip bodies apart.

This was simply put, the worst movie of the year. As uninspired as Rob Zombie's Halloween remake was, it's a masterpiece compared to this piece of shit.

2/10

[Superplasmatron]

Originally posted by ilovemovies
I'm shocked at the good response this is getting. This movie was TERRIBLE!

The gore was cheesy as hell, the dialogue was atrocious, the characters were annoying twats. The movie wasn't scary at all and often unintentionally hilarious. Yet many of the scenes and dialogue that were suppose to be funny were cringe inducing. And worst of all is Victor Crawley himself. He was such a laughably bad monster. Not to mention his strength is completely inconsistant. On one hand, they seemed to be able to hurt him pretty easily so they can run away. On the otherhand, he strong enough to pick people and squeeze them to death and rip bodies apart.

This was simply put, the worst movie of the year. As uninspired as Rob Zombie's Halloween remake was, it's a masterpiece compared to this piece of shit.

2/10

It cost fuck all and is a comedy, it's a send up of a genre, a tiny film that is just ment as a laugh, the monsters meant to be shit, he's a kind of piss take of horror monsters.

[Frank the Tank]

This movie is basically a parody of slashers. I have no clue how someone can overanalyze a movie like Hatchet. It's like overanalyzing Shoot Em Up or Crank. It's a pure shut off your brain and enjoy movie. Not to watch thinking about acting and what not. Just enjoy watching some people get fucked up, and some cheesy yet hilarious dialogue.

It wasn't unintentionally funny at all, since nearly everything save for Crowley's backstory is played for laughs.

Crowley was a big fuck, but he was vulnerable as shown in the flashbacks. He was also clumsy and well kind of retarded. So, yes it was pretty easy to hurt him.

Yes, I was ripped when I watched this, so everything was humorous. But, even sober I'd think I'd still love it. The only thing I didn't like was how the trailers and taglines are hyping it up as it is the big horror film of 07 when it was pretty much a comedy in my eyes.

I also think you have to pretty much be a huge horror fan to fully enjoy this. As, all the cliches and what not they are parodying, would go unnoticed.

[ilovemovies]

Parady or not, I still hate it.

I don't think I was over analyzing the movie at all. Bad acting, horrible dialogue, stupid monster. Even if it was a parody, it was a REALLY bad, amatuerish parody.

And I like horror movies just fine. Good ones that is. I hate the Friday the 13th flicks but I love the Halloween movies (3 and 5 being the exceptions) and I'm a HUGE fan of the Nightmare on Elm Street flicks. All of them. And as for horror comedies, I enjoyed Slither. One of my all time favorite flicks is Arachnophobia which was part horror and part comedy. So I have no problem with the horror genre. I just hated this movie. It is the worst movie I've seen in 2007 thus far.

[Frank the Tank]

Originally posted by ilovemovies
It is the worst movie I've seen in 2007 thus far.

I completely understand where your coming from. I can see why people would hate this, I just found this so damned fun. Plus, Hatchet's biggest influence was Friday The 13th. We are probably opposite on film tastes though, so I can definately understand why you hate it.

[paul calf]

this movie was that bad it was pretty good,terrible acting,shocking effects,crappy story,laughable script,but i actually quite enjoyed it.

6/10

[teenkiller]

Still not in my area but dammit does anybody know what it's second weekend totals were? Once again they aren't listed on BoxOfficeMojo. I'm suspecting it didn't perform well or otherwise one of the horror websites would have reported on it. Anybody? Well thats all for now GOoD JOURNEY my fellow schmoes.

[Cronos]

Very disappointed with this, it had some cool gore scenes but the rest of it was rather crappy, the acting wasn't very good although it was more the characters that were a problem for me, really annoying. I liked the ending though :D.

4/10