Land of the Lost with Will Ferrell

[FatSakHead]

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/34389

This could go either way. I used to love this show as a kid.

[XCoRyX]

I was a huge dork (and still had toys/VHS tapes of them up until I gave them to my little cousin who now loves it) for the 90s remake of LOTL. I hate the whole "turn it into comedy" routine though.

[dellamorte dellamore]

Uh , wasn't it always a comedy , or at least of a comical nature ? :)

[DarthWade]

What I don't understand is why studios who decide to do remakes, take original "serious" material and then turn it into comedies. They did this with Dragnet, Starsky and Hutch, and others...

I wonder when they will take tv comedies and make them into serious movies???

[dellamorte dellamore]

I know why , i think , they are simply playing up , exaggerating the cheese angle of the source material . Let's be honest , even if these shows were taken seriously at the time , looking back , they appear silly . So , if anything , some of these adaptations are more spoofs than anything else .


I agree though , they could take a more serious approach , but i guess they feel comedy sells better than drama .

[XCoRyX]

I'm hoping it has some serious angles to it atleast. But probably not.

[MISFITS_Fiend]

I wonder when they will take tv comedies and make them into serious movies???

They did...it was called 'Bewitched'.

Wait...that was supposed to be a COMEDY???

[yorrick brown]

Land of the Lost Story Details


BEWARE MEGA SPOILERS .NATCH


http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u73/ljdh111_photos/chaka.jpg

The Land of the Lost is a special part of my childhood. Who didn’t love watching the T Rex try to eat Rick MARSHALL and his kids each week?



SleestakUniversal has gotten their hands on the rights to Sid and Marty Krofft’s campy Saturday morning creation and have set WILL FERRELL to star in a modern day telling of the story, with a few new twists of course. What’s a WILL FERRELL movie without a bit of comedy? Bewitched. Sorry that was too easy. No seriously, as I read the script for this new reboot, it CLEARLY comes off as a WILL FERRELL vehicle. Down to the “I thought that was ad-lib” parts.

Did I love Land of the Lost as a child? Yes. Was it the cheesiest and campiest thing ever? Pretty much. Would I want to see that version of LOTL on the big screen? NO. You can’t do this movie any other way than a raunchy comedy WILL FERRELL style.

How was it? Honestly, the script had me laughing my ass off one minute and then wanting to skip ahead the next. Overall, it was funny. The stupid funny that every good WILL Ferrell movie is. Think of it as Jurassic Park meets Dumb and Dumber.

Now, I’ll tell you right now, if you don’t like WILL FERRELL, don’t go see this movie thinking you’ll like it. It’s tailor-made for his comedy styling to the hilt.

Just a bit of a disclaimer here, I have found it’s much easier to detail an action adventure film, or a drama than a comedy. The hilarity doesn’t always show through with comedies, especially physical comedies which this film has a lot of. Plus, a lot of the joke is in the tone of the dialogue which is also hard to get across without actually reprinting the dialogue (which I know I cannot do). Most of the time you can summarize a page or two of an action film in one or two lines, not so with a comedy. So bare with me, there is a lot of information below.

Now, on with the story details!

The entire rest of this article is one MAJOR SPOILER. Don’t read on if you don’t want to know pretty much every beat of this story.

Land of the Lost

By Chris Henchy and Dennis McNicholas

October 31, 2007

Story opens with an astronaut from the not too distant future running from something, he falls and screams we see what he’s reacting to in his visor, a T. Rex is about to eat him.



Rick,Will,Holly and ChakaStart TITLE SEQUENCE with cheesy ‘70’s style music

Cut to the set of a science TV show hosted by Anderson Cooper (CNN) with a meeting of the minds Dr. Steven Hawking, Dr. Richard Leinhart and Dr. Rich MARSHALL.

MARSHALL is “out there” with his views on time travel and paleontology. He has a new book coming out detailing his theories. Great minds see him as a joke. He gets in a fight with Hawking. Hawking threatens to run over him with his wheelchair.

Five years later, meet Dr. Rick MARSHALL (WILL Ferrell), now director of the La Brea Tar Pits, a disgraced scientist whose theories were laughed out of the field, he now gives daily tours to school children. WILL Ferrell and school children – hilarity ensues.

Meet HOLLY, a curvaceous lab assistant who also works at the pits, who believes in MARSHALL’s theories on Quantum Paleontology and his tachyon amplifier and shows him evidence she has found to support his claims. It’s a fossil with a ZIPPO lighter encased in it.

They head to a location called the Devil’s Canyon Mystery Cave to research some high tachyon readings.

Here we meet WILL, the sassy paintball tournament type with tank top and camouflage pants. He owns a fireworks store and gift shop at the entrance to the mystery cave. He also gives daily tours. He also happens to live there in a double wide mobile home with a red 280Z to guarantee his place in white trash history.

MARSHALL and HOLLY have meters and equipment to get tachyon readings in the area.

Suddenly, in the cave, the meters go through the roof and the boat they are in starts rocking heavily. Just when MARSHALL goes to turn the tachyon amplifier off, it falls in the water and the boat is surrounded by a mist.

The man made stream they were once in turns into a huge running river and the earth opens up. The boat and its occupants go over the edge and into the opened earth. As soon as they pass through, the earth closes up again and the water returns to normal.

The three awake and find themselves lost. There is a doorway with no house attached. They walk through and find all sorts of weird things including a plane that has crashed into a Viking boat.

There are also three moons overhead.

MARSHALL, WILL and HOLLY start to explore their surroundings. A shadowy figure is seen to their right then quickly hides.

They come upon three PAKUNI. Two large, one small (CHA-KA). The two large ones are about to kill the small one when HOLLY steps in to stop it. The PAKUNI attack and WILL scares them off with his lighter.

The small PAKUNI stays behind, this is CHA-KA.

Soon, dinosaur roars can be heard coming towards them. They grab onto some vines and are swinging when a brontosaurus comes bounding into their area. They all breathe a sigh of relief as they swing away from the brontosaurus be unluckily straight into the face of a T Rex.

They all start running with the T Rex chasing close behind.

They cross a crevasse on a bridge and are home free. Until, the T Rex takes a running leap and meets them on the other side.

There is a cave, the three run into it as fast as possible with CHAKA close behind.

They get inside the cave, the T Rex ducks his head in to see and walks away. HOLLY suggests they call him GRUMPY.

They settle in and try to figure out how to survive.

WILL finds a giant Pot plant. He goes to grab a couple of leaves to smoke and it quickly turns into a man-eating plant. WILL throws a one-liner and backs away.

The group sees smoke and weird electricity in the distance. MARSHALL has a vision – he sees a humanoid figure raising its arm up for help and asks for help. MARSHALL snaps out of it, he takes off running toward the smoke. HOLLY and WILL follow.

Shadowy figure reappears.



ChakaMARSHALL, HOLLY, WILL and CHAKA find the source of the smoke and electricity, a pylon. They feel the same tachyon radiation feeling they had back at Devil’s Cave.

A rock has a warning about SLEESTAKs on it.

Suddenly, a group of SLEESTAKs emerge. They are hissing and clicking their claws.

The group seems in imminent danger until the shot widens to reveal the SLEESTAK pretty far away and they are incredibly slow moving creatures. Our heroes go back to eyeing the pylon.

The SLEESTAK pull “arrows” made on their backs from spine pieces, they have built in cross bow capabilities apparently and are really good shots. More and more SLEESTAK appear. Our heroes are soon surrounded.

They find the key to opening the pylon and find a door. They enter the space and meet ENIK. He is almost like a SLEESTAK but not, sounds similar to the differences of the original ‘70s ENIK. He has also fallen through a time portal and found himself here.

ENIK tells about THE ZARN (the shadowy creature that’s been following the group) and is told of his plan to take over the universe. The dimension they are in is a type of prison made by the ZARN using a tachyon field to prevent escape.

MARSHALL and ENIK figure out that by using the tachyon amplifier MARSHALL made before so they could create a stable time door.

ENIK stays in his hidden safe place and the heroes go about finding the tachyon amplifier that they lost on the way to this world. It’s the only thing that can save them and this world from the ZARN.

The heroes return to the cave to devise a plan to find the amplifier. GRUMPY poses a problem, MARSHALL finds a resolution. He douses himself in dinosaur urine to disguise his scent (don’t ask). The others refuse for good reason.

The find the place where their raft entered this world. All sorts of stuff is lying around from other dimensions including a toll booth, phone books and all sorts of random things. They find their raft. Suddenly the time warp opens and an ice cream truck plummets into the Land of the Lost.

Dinosaurs quickly surround the truck, the ice cream man hasn’t got a chance. GRUMPY is there and quickly turns his eyes to MARSHALL.

The chase begins. MARSHALL soon finds refuge in a rotting tree only to be found by another dinosaur, ALICE, who begins to chase him. ALICE runs smack dab into GRUMPY, which makes him even more GRUMPY. The dinosaurs begin to fight until they smell MARSHALL’s urine scent and both chase after MARSHALL tag team style.

After the hilarity has ensued, MARSHALL find a nitrogen canister from the ice cream truck. Gee, what’s he gonna do with that?

Luckily, HOLLY and WILL are standing right next to a catapult. MARSHALL loads the catapult with the nitrogen and launches it at ALICE. She instantly freezes, falls, and breaks into a million pieces. This scares GRUMPY off. Our heroes are safe for now.

The team finds the tachyon amplifier they have been looking for but a scavenger dinosaur get to it first. He runs off with it but is soon picked up by a pterodactyl that heads for the top of a very high mountain.

MARSHALL throws a fit.

The heroes head back to camp. MARSHALL has given up and is off by himself. WILL, HOLLY and CHAKA gather around a campfire. MARSHALL soon sees the error of his ways and head over to join the group. He’s written a song while he was away. It goes a little somethin’ like this,

MARSHALL, WILL and HOLLY. On a routine expedition/Felt the greatest earthquake ever known...

Met the greatest earthquake ever known/High on the rapids, it struck their tiny raft…

Sound familiar? Yes, it’s the original theme song!

Unbeknownst to MARSHALL, a bird size mosquito is buzzing around his head during his rendition of the song. It pierces his neck and begins to drain his blood. MARSHALL slowly fades, still singing. Long story short (too late) MARSHALL falls on the mosquito and blood flies everywhere.

The team decides to climb the mountain and get the tachyon amplifier back.. At the top of the mountain, the amplifier is in the middle of a nest of pterodactyl eggs (did I mention that it plays show tunes due to the ipod used in it construction? Yeah, so the show tunes are keeping the eggs happy).



MARSHALL goes in to get it. He drops it on the way out and the music stops the eggs hatch because of the disturbance and start to scream. MARSHALL breaks out into some showtunes to calm them down. The babies fall to sleep. Our heroes high tail it out of there.

The group goes to celebrate and drink from some gourds CHAKA has cracked open. WILL, MARSHALL and CHAKA get stoned off their asses from the gourd juice. More hilarity.

HOLLY stays sober and starts to use the tachyon meter and amplifier. She finds a cave with crystals embedded in the walls. A figure appears, it’s the ZARN! Luckily, it’s only a holographic projection. He is repeating a warning about the prisoner ENIK escaping and to keep the tachyon field in tact so he cannot resume his evil plans.

HOLLY finds the corpse of the alien ZARN, he’s been dead a long time. She rushes to warn the others of ENIK’s plan but the SLEESTAKS stop her and capture her.

Cut to the next morning, MARSHALL, WILL and CHAKA are spooning. They are waking from their stoned haze and realize HOLLY is gone and the SLEESTAKS have gotten her. They devise a plan.

WILL and MARSHALL explore the cave to look for HOLLY. Two SLEESTAKS come into view and they’re not on patrol they’re about to get it on. After some intense making out, the two SLEESTAKS shed their furry skins (conveniently thrown at WILL and MARSHALL’s feet) and start to do the nasty.



EnikWILL and MARSHALL put on the skins and disguise themselves as SLEESTAKs and blend in to find HOLLY.

HOLLY is lowered over a pit in a cage. She is being accused as being an ally of ENIK the Altrusian. WILL and MARSHALL reveal themselves and declare themselves allies of ENIK as well. Big mistake. As we learned earlier, ENIK is actually the bad guy in all this!

From the Library Skulls conducting the “trial” of HOLLY we learn that ENIK actually caused all this destruction and the SLEESTAKs aren’t his ancestors, they are actually his descendents. He’s been exiled and imprisoned here for thousands of years.

The SLEESTAK move in on MARSHALL and WILL, they jump onto HOLLY’s cage and swing back and forth to knock the SLEESTAK into the pit.

HOLLY and MARSHALL share a passionate kiss and then some.

ENIK appears, ENIK the Annihilator as he’s called by the Library Skulls. He monologues his dastardly plan (like all good super villains do) and heads off to destroy this civilization and Earth as well.

Now, at the worst possible time, GRUMPY shows up. MARSHALL isn’t running this time, he is determined to stand up to the beast. HOLLY and WILL take off. The dimension is coming apart at the seams, ENIK is destroying the space time continuum.

MARSHALL and GRUMPY are in a stare down (luckily MARSHALL has a bag full of fireworks from WILL’s shop back on Earth but unfortunately GRUMPY crushes his ZIPPO lighter into the ground A-HA!)

MARSHALL decides to take a pole vaulting approach and tries to vault over GRUMPY, but instead lands in his mouth and is eaten whole.

After a super-cool “building something cool” montage, we see WILL has strapped a WWII bomb to CHAKA’s back and intends for him to run into the horde of SLEESTAKS and kill them all. The plan obviously fails.

HOLLY is sick and tired and goes football holligan on the SLEESTAKS and starts kicking and throwing rocks. The three become surrounded.

They are saved by MARSHALL riding on GRUMPY’s back (how did he survive? Well, let’s just say he didn’t come out the same way he went in).

GRUMPY helps them get to the door of the pylon. The three enter and find ENIK and the door to Earth open.

MARSHALL and ENIK fight. The crystal matrix shatters and the door to Earth fades. MARSHALL used HOLLY’s crystal from her necklace to reopen the door. ENIK grabs a hold of WILL, MARSHALL and HOLLY can make it, WILL says he’ll stay and fight off ENIK, plus he wants to stay in the Land of the Lost with CHAKA. (FYI, here’s free rewrite for y’all during the strike, when WILL says staying with CHAKA is better than living outside of a Sit ‘N Sleep in Rancho Cucomonga, it’s Rancho Cucamonga, and "a" not an "o", I should know, I live there.)

MARSHALL and HOLLY jump through the door to Earth. WILL stays behind. He takes ENIK’s crystal necklace that controls the SLEESTAKS. ENIK’s in trouble.

Cut to the outside of Devil’s Cave back on Earth. MARSHALL and HOLLY drive off into the sunset together.

Back on the Land of the Lost, WILL and CHAKA are surrounded by beautiful PAKUNI women, WILL’s in heaven.

Cut to the La Brea Tar Pits auditorium, MARSHALL is packing up ready to head off to another routine expedition with HOLLY. She shows him three dinosaur eggs she saved and brought with them to prove where they’ve been.

MARSHALL says the world couldn’t handle it. He adds the eggs to a diorama display and leaves.

Soon, a young boy walks by, one of the eggs starts to shake and hatch, it’s not a dinosaur egg at all. It’s a SLEESTAK!!
http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m118/rachel_pen15/sleestak.jpg


END

[biff_debris]

Whoa, it seems to cover all the bases as far as the major characters are concerned, at least. But I agree about the "playing it for laughs" versions of some remakes. I personally would've preferred a really tongue-in-cheek, but played to the hilt version than a "stupid funny" version -- but comedy apparently has to be so obvious now.