yorrick brown
03-19-2008, 12:25 AM
BEWARE MEGA SPOILERS IE :HE SPOILS EVERYTHING.
I warn you, spoilers lay ahead. This movie doesn’t hit theaters until July so if you’d like to be shocked and surprised (really, the shocks aren’t shocking and the surprises are far from surprising) read no further.
Here is a summary of what I’m about to say in this review for those wanting to avoid spoilers:
Hancock is a severely uneven film. The first half is an amazing action comedy with some big laughs, great set pieces, and slick production value (even in its current state of incompletion), but by the second half the damn thing falls apart. They get dramatic on you. They get teary eyed on you. And the whole thing feels like a throw away episode of Friday Night Lights. The storyline is a fucking mess to be honest…I hesitate to even call it that. The tone is inconsistent and it drags like you wouldn’t believe from the middle on out.
End Summary. Begin Spoilers. You’ve been warned.
So the storyline is as follows.
Will Smith is some god created thousands of years ago. But he doesn’t know this because he has amnesia from an attack he experienced at the hands of muggers 20 years ago (apparently he’d temporarily lost his powers back then, more on that later).
He is currently in LA fighting crime and living in a trailer he rigged together. He is a real fuck up of a super hero, most of the time the damage he does in the process of trying to save people seems to outweigh the acts of good he is attempting to carry out. He is rude, messy, and just really doesn’t give a shit. So why is he helping people if he is so fucking miserable and has this whole I don’t give a fuck attitude? What is driving him to help the world around him? Well…they never really say…he just is…cause he feels like it.
So one day he saves this marketing agent. And this agent is so thankful he wants to help Hancock improve his image.
Which he does, he helps his image by having him turn himself into authorities for not only the damage he does but for also having sex with a 17 year old 4 days shy of her 18th birthday (this takes place early on in the film in an uncomfortable sequence where Hancock blows his super load through the ceiling of his trailer, no, I’m not shitting you). “Turn yourself in, people will miss you while you’re in prison, they’ll miss you and they’ll call out for you, I promise”. Yeah, that’s the big plan to help him improve his image…and it works…why…how…I don’t know, but it does because the script writers said it does.
Oh, did I mention that in this world, this city, L.A., Hancocks abilities are never questioned. No, in fact the only thing law enforcement and the community as a whole is upset about is the damage Mr. Hancock causes while tossing whales into the ocean, deflecting bullets, and flying through the fucking air right in front of his eyes (and fucking the minor). All of this is totally acceptable; it’s just all that gosh darned damage that really gets them riled up (and fucking the minor).
Anyway, back to our agent and his new pet project Hancock. So our agent is married and he just so happens to be married to Charlize Theron, and guess what, she is also a super hero, and she is actually Hancocks wife too, yes, his wife. They were created as a pair thousands of years ago (why, we don’t know, that’s just how they rolled back then). In fact we find out there were many of their kind created as pairs, but they all died out, these are the last two left.
The down side to being created as a pair though is that being around one another causes each to lose their respective powers and they then become human. See the issue here? Quite a debacle indeed.
Oh yes, did I mention the agent doesn’t know his wife is a super god?
To make an long overly drawn out story short, the agent finds out everything, gets pissed off, there is conflict, powers are lost due to being around each other, blah blah blah, big finale….well not that big really, more of a let down….it involves fighting against crazy escaped convicts who somehow escaped from what we’re told is California’s top maximum security prison, and they then managed to attain automatic weapons…all in one days times. Yes, it is quite dumb and as unbelievable as it sounds.
Honestly I was severely let down. As I write this review I like the film less and less.
Will Smith was excellent. His attitude was pitch perfect.
Charlize Theron was good as well, not great, but acceptable.
What didn’t work however is their relationship. Zero chemistry. It was like watching paint dry. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen such an uncomfortable pairing on screen.
So to wrap this up:
The Good: The limited comedy and action sequences are amazing. However, you have seen almost all of them in the trailer that is online, and no, I’m not shitting you, every big laugh is in that trailer. The action sequences are a bit more drawn out in the film, but the trailer does give you a pretty sufficient taste.
The Bad: The storyline sucks ass. The film creates rules and doesn’t stick to them concerning the super powers and how they work (he loses them at one point and they all of a sudden come back for no other reason than that they…well just do, it’s not explained and it is aggravating when you witness it). The drama doesn’t work with the comedy. Peter Berg seemed to think he was still directing an episode of Friday Night Lights when he was doing parts of this movie, it just really misses in a big way.
My verdict, watch it if nothing else is playing.
But I have no doubt this will score mega bucks when it hits the theater. Will Smith always draws a crowd and the trailer online right now makes it look a hell of a lot better than it really is.
so will smith is actually evil ,fuck
kidding :D
I warn you, spoilers lay ahead. This movie doesn’t hit theaters until July so if you’d like to be shocked and surprised (really, the shocks aren’t shocking and the surprises are far from surprising) read no further.
Here is a summary of what I’m about to say in this review for those wanting to avoid spoilers:
Hancock is a severely uneven film. The first half is an amazing action comedy with some big laughs, great set pieces, and slick production value (even in its current state of incompletion), but by the second half the damn thing falls apart. They get dramatic on you. They get teary eyed on you. And the whole thing feels like a throw away episode of Friday Night Lights. The storyline is a fucking mess to be honest…I hesitate to even call it that. The tone is inconsistent and it drags like you wouldn’t believe from the middle on out.
End Summary. Begin Spoilers. You’ve been warned.
So the storyline is as follows.
Will Smith is some god created thousands of years ago. But he doesn’t know this because he has amnesia from an attack he experienced at the hands of muggers 20 years ago (apparently he’d temporarily lost his powers back then, more on that later).
He is currently in LA fighting crime and living in a trailer he rigged together. He is a real fuck up of a super hero, most of the time the damage he does in the process of trying to save people seems to outweigh the acts of good he is attempting to carry out. He is rude, messy, and just really doesn’t give a shit. So why is he helping people if he is so fucking miserable and has this whole I don’t give a fuck attitude? What is driving him to help the world around him? Well…they never really say…he just is…cause he feels like it.
So one day he saves this marketing agent. And this agent is so thankful he wants to help Hancock improve his image.
Which he does, he helps his image by having him turn himself into authorities for not only the damage he does but for also having sex with a 17 year old 4 days shy of her 18th birthday (this takes place early on in the film in an uncomfortable sequence where Hancock blows his super load through the ceiling of his trailer, no, I’m not shitting you). “Turn yourself in, people will miss you while you’re in prison, they’ll miss you and they’ll call out for you, I promise”. Yeah, that’s the big plan to help him improve his image…and it works…why…how…I don’t know, but it does because the script writers said it does.
Oh, did I mention that in this world, this city, L.A., Hancocks abilities are never questioned. No, in fact the only thing law enforcement and the community as a whole is upset about is the damage Mr. Hancock causes while tossing whales into the ocean, deflecting bullets, and flying through the fucking air right in front of his eyes (and fucking the minor). All of this is totally acceptable; it’s just all that gosh darned damage that really gets them riled up (and fucking the minor).
Anyway, back to our agent and his new pet project Hancock. So our agent is married and he just so happens to be married to Charlize Theron, and guess what, she is also a super hero, and she is actually Hancocks wife too, yes, his wife. They were created as a pair thousands of years ago (why, we don’t know, that’s just how they rolled back then). In fact we find out there were many of their kind created as pairs, but they all died out, these are the last two left.
The down side to being created as a pair though is that being around one another causes each to lose their respective powers and they then become human. See the issue here? Quite a debacle indeed.
Oh yes, did I mention the agent doesn’t know his wife is a super god?
To make an long overly drawn out story short, the agent finds out everything, gets pissed off, there is conflict, powers are lost due to being around each other, blah blah blah, big finale….well not that big really, more of a let down….it involves fighting against crazy escaped convicts who somehow escaped from what we’re told is California’s top maximum security prison, and they then managed to attain automatic weapons…all in one days times. Yes, it is quite dumb and as unbelievable as it sounds.
Honestly I was severely let down. As I write this review I like the film less and less.
Will Smith was excellent. His attitude was pitch perfect.
Charlize Theron was good as well, not great, but acceptable.
What didn’t work however is their relationship. Zero chemistry. It was like watching paint dry. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen such an uncomfortable pairing on screen.
So to wrap this up:
The Good: The limited comedy and action sequences are amazing. However, you have seen almost all of them in the trailer that is online, and no, I’m not shitting you, every big laugh is in that trailer. The action sequences are a bit more drawn out in the film, but the trailer does give you a pretty sufficient taste.
The Bad: The storyline sucks ass. The film creates rules and doesn’t stick to them concerning the super powers and how they work (he loses them at one point and they all of a sudden come back for no other reason than that they…well just do, it’s not explained and it is aggravating when you witness it). The drama doesn’t work with the comedy. Peter Berg seemed to think he was still directing an episode of Friday Night Lights when he was doing parts of this movie, it just really misses in a big way.
My verdict, watch it if nothing else is playing.
But I have no doubt this will score mega bucks when it hits the theater. Will Smith always draws a crowd and the trailer online right now makes it look a hell of a lot better than it really is.
so will smith is actually evil ,fuck
kidding :D