lily allen admits to a hidden talent

[yorrick brown]

fromPH

http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk112/laumies/lily-allen-pictures2031.jpg

If there's one thing we appreciate about Lily Allen is that she likes to speak the truth.

The Smile singer is coming out of the closet as….a great cocksucker. No joke!

According to reports, on Wednesday night Allen hit up fancy sushi joint Nobu in London with her lil' bro, Alfie, and then announced to a group of photographers assembled outside the restaurant that she has a 'really good mouth" for and is the 'best in London' for…blow jobs.

Hey boys from across the pond — any of you been treated to the Lily special?



When the music career fails, it's nice to know she has another job to fall back on!

http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg196/hartnettgun/lily-allen_PR.jpg

[Lindsey]

Hell, we all have that hidden talent.

[yorrick brown]

Hell, we all have that hidden talent.


singing "makes me smile.....":cool:

[echo_bravo]

Hell, more power to her!

If there is one thing I cant stand its when the girl runs her teeth againist your dick...thats a big no no in my book.:(

[Tweek]

Wait..

I don't understand... :confused:

[Juliet Bravo]

fromPH

http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk112/laumies/lily-allen-pictures2031.jpg


Nice tongue. Does anybody know if she's into both snails AND oysters?

http://thesuperficial.com/2006/09/14/jessica_biel_tongue-thumb.jpg

Speaking of tongues.

[yorrick brown]

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii13/KASiAx0/blowjobquote.jpg

[EVILxxx]

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii13/KASiAx0/blowjobquote.jpg

Well it isn't exactly a walk in the park on our end either.

[Lindsey]

Well it isn't exactly a walk in the park on our end either.

How so EVIL? You're not gagging on anything, are ya? lol, thought so. ;)

[yorrick brown]

Well it isn't exactly a walk in the park on our end either.


you guys think foreplay is when your waiting for your playstation/xbox to load :p.

[solidstealth]

Well it isn't exactly a walk in the park on our end either.

you sure she's doing it right?

[EVILxxx]

How so EVIL? You're not gagging on anything, are ya? lol, thought so. ;)

Maybe not but there is a lot of effort that goes into it, that apparently is going unappreciated by some women. ;)

you sure she's doing it right?

Lol. I meant on returning the favor.

[solidstealth]

i completely read that wrong then lol... i was like, am i being completely lazy somewhere in the process?? lol

[EBastard]

Hell, more power to her!

If there is one thing I cant stand its when the girl runs her teeth againist your dick...thats a big no no in my book.:(
LOL, I actually get a kick outta that. Not exactly when a woman runs her teeth against my dick, but when she bites down a bit, :o whew...that hits the spot everytime. :D



SHIVER ME TIMBERS...

YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD EBASTARD, OVER-SHARING SINCE 2001. :D

[a7xfan]

fromPH

http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk112/laumies/lily-allen-pictures2031.jpg



Hey boys from across the pond — any of you been treated to the Lily special?



i fucking wish, she is fucking super hot. i love her for who she is too. :D

[JJFlamingo]

...clears his throat and steps up with feet apart...:D

[BadCoverVersion]

Lily Allen sucks hard...I've known that for some time now.

I was hoping the hidden talent would be that she could actually write a decent fucking tune...but ANYTHING that keeps her hateful little trap shut for any length of time is good news indeedy.

[RustyRazor]

Thanks for the info, Lily.
Not like she'll hob on just anyone's nob, but that's...good to know?
Maybe if you buy a whole crate of her albums?

Hey! She suggested it, I'm just trying to process why she'd come out and say such a thing.
Seems like the kind of girl you could take home to mama.
NOW it's more like take her home to meet daddy.
Daddy would be oh so pleased to meet Lily, I'm sure.

[xseanymacx]

I love getting head.

[Eric Flatpack]

She's good at head? Wow i definitely want to buy her album now.

[AversionTherapy]

I bought twenty albums! shes got to go down on me now!!

[electriclite]

Well it isn't exactly a walk in the park on our end either.
Is this regarding the smell factor, Evil? And if so, what dirty whores have you been peddlin' around boy? ;)

[FLAME_ON]

This just supports that the ugly ones do it best.

[Cosimo]

i knew it was going to be for sucking dick. typical!

[EVILxxx]

Is this regarding the smell factor, Evil? And if so, what dirty whores have you been peddlin' around boy? ;)

Ha. I knew my statement was gonna get some interesting replies.
I was referring to the finesse and technique that comes with the... act. Girls think it's easier for us but it takes some doing. There is a reason why it was delineated in that sex book in American Pie.

[electriclite]

Ha. I knew my statement was gonna get some interesting replies.
I was referring to the finesse and technique that comes with the... act. Girls think it's easier for us but it takes some doing. There is a reason why it was delineated in that sex book in American Pie.
Ah well, knowing the right way to do the job on our end and doing the job successfully on your end are slightly different things. ;)

[FLAME_ON]

The Celeb Talk/Gossip threads have been getting increasingly more risqué lately. ;)

[Brando @$$ Fat]

Funny how if this had been a thread just about Lily Allen and not cocksucking how it would have been completely dead.

As for fellatio, I'm pretty much in the "This is worse for me than it is for you" camp.

[yorrick brown]

http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p295/vanghanst/l_3a8c2e0d5c63926cb537303bc71fe882.jpg

practice,practice and more practice.

http://www.craveonline.com/videos/babes/00007724/30_seconds_of_a_hot_chick__ice_cream.html

http://break.com/index/drunk-chick-licks-beer-off-floor.html

[EVILxxx]

Ah well, knowing the right way to do the job on our end and doing the job successfully on your end are slightly different things. ;)

Hey if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right I always say.

Funny how if this had been a thread just about Lily Allen and not cocksucking how it would have been completely dead.

Yeah I've never even heard of her.

[The Postmaster General]

Ha. I knew my statement was gonna get some interesting replies.
I was referring to the finesse and technique that comes with the... act. Girls think it's easier for us but it takes some doing. There is a reason why it was delineated in that sex book in American Pie.



Most people mistakingly assume that the technique lies solely in the tongue, but trust me, you gotta put some effort into the neck and lower jaw. For some of us, a muscle relaxant of some type may be required to prevent lock jaw - fine for when you're down there, but not looking so hot coming back up making a face like Sloth from the Goonies.

It works, and it works well. Trust me.

30 Helens agree.

http://www.joblo.com/forums/pictures/6866/image_30226c5b.gif

[Brando @$$ Fat]

Hell, more power to her!

If there is one thing I cant stand its when the girl runs her teeth againist your dick...thats a big no no in my book.:(


Yeah, but the more I think about it, how do they not do that? I mean, the mechanics of it are complicated. Unless they have no teeth, in which case you have someone gumming on it...that's not right.

And I laugh at the "returning the favor" nonsense of you guys here. I say just zip yourself up, put on your top hat, and be on your way.

[syxxpac]

And I laugh at the "returning the favor" nonsense of you guys here. I say just zip yourself up, put on your top hat, and be on your way.

For shame, sir, for shame. Reciprocity, Mr. @$$ Fat, is the key to any relationship. If they're kind enough to suck you like you're a siphon hose and your cum is gasoline, the least one can do is hone one's cunning linguistics.

[KcMsterpce]

I don't believe her. If I met her, I think I'd have to have her prove it to me.

[EVILxxx]

And I laugh at the "returning the favor" nonsense of you guys here. I say just zip yourself up, put on your top hat, and be on your way.

Well there are a select few of us that enjoy it. :cool:

[yorrick brown]

For shame, sir, for shame. Reciprocity, Mr. @$$ Fat, is the key to any relationship. If they're kind enough to suck you like you're a siphon hose and your cum is gasoline, the least one can do is hone one's cunning linguistics.


:cool

"honey tonight we`re eating out."

[electriclite]

And I laugh at the "returning the favor" nonsense of you guys here. I say just zip yourself up, put on your top hat, and be on your way.


And ladies this is why you must demand to get served first! ;)

[The Heart Collector]

most women erroneously think theyre not terrible at oral.

[Tagia_Romero]

And I laugh at the "returning the favor" nonsense of you guys here. I say just zip yourself up, put on your top hat, and be on your way.

Tell me, have you ever had a lover who wasn't inflatable, in a magazine, in that little space that what could be loosely called your imagination or your hand?

[yorrick brown]

Tell me, have you ever had a lover who wasn't inflatable, in a magazine, in that little space that what could be loosely called your imagination or your hand?

whoop whoop :D

[yorrick brown]

TIPPING THE VELVET 10/10:p

[KcMsterpce]

Tell me, have you ever had a lover who wasn't inflatable, in a magazine, in that little space that what could be loosely called your imagination or your hand?

That's a very resentful comment!

I've had plenty of women! Best $50 I ever spent!

[Tagia_Romero]

I've had plenty of women! Best $50 I ever spent!

In that case, may I call you El-Cheapo?

[Brando @$$ Fat]

Tell me, have you ever had a lover who wasn't inflatable, in a magazine, in that little space that what could be loosely called your imagination or your hand?


I'm not sure if I get your question. Do you mean to ask if I have made love to an inflatable object, a cut-out, or what resides in my own head? No, l have not inserted any part of my body into any such region. As for my hand, I will spare you the pain of elaborating on such saucy escapades.

Anyway, I'm afraid you have misunderstood what I'm trying to say: "returning the favor" implies that there is some preexisting contract. Plus, it also illustrates just how unpleasant it is for our side if we feel the need to make some sort of promise. And if Lily Allen so lavishly brags about it, then I wonder if women think it's so bad after all.

Unfortunately, I do not own a top hot.

[Tagia_Romero]

Anyway, I'm afraid you have misunderstood what I'm trying to say: "returning the favor" implies that there is some preexisting contract. Plus, it also illustrates just how unpleasant it is for our side if we feel the need to make some sort of promise.


If you are referring to oral sex as contract as it were, wouldn't that also imply that demanding a woman to suck you off to also be an obligation? If a woman has just fabulously blown you and asked you to 'return' the favor, would you say "Ewwww, no, I don't like eating pussy"?


*Apologies to Lindsey in advance here, but I have to use this smiley: ::rolleyes::

[Brando @$$ Fat]

If you are referring to oral sex as contract as it were, wouldn't that also imply that demanding a woman to suck you off to also be an obligation? If a woman has just fabulously blown you and asked you to 'return' the favor, would you say "Ewwww, no, I don't like eating pussy"?


*Apologies to Lindsey in advance here, but I have to use this smiley: ::rolleyes::


The decision ultimately lies with the decisionmaker. I've never thought any lady should be obliged to do anything she doesn't want to. Apparently, Lily Allen loves it so much she doesn't need for anyone to return the favor. But, I'm not one to not fulfill my end of the bargain. The post that offended you was meant in jest.

[Tagia_Romero]

But, I'm not one to not fulfill my end of the bargain. The post that offended you was meant in jest.

So why didn't ya just SAY so at the end? :p

[Brendan M.]

According to reports, on Wednesday night Allen hit up fancy sushi joint Nobu in London with her lil' bro, Alfie, and then announced to a group of photographers assembled outside the restaurant that she has a 'really good mouth" for and is the 'best in London' for…blow jobs.

All I can think about is how awkward that must haven been for her brother. I wouldn't want my sister to announce that while sitting next to me.

[Shockwave]

you guys think foreplay is when your waiting for your playstation/xbox to load :p.

That made me LMAO.

..and thanks to new technology, loading times are shorter then ever!:D

[starcat]

it sucks for a guy cause after being down there for about 45 minutes your tongue really starts to hurt, and the next day its totally sore... but worth it

[yorrick brown]

it sucks for a guy cause after being down there for about 45 minutes your tongue really starts to hurt, and the next day its totally sore... but worth it

http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n192/artryx013/exorcist.gif

[xseanymacx]

http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p295/vanghanst/l_3a8c2e0d5c63926cb537303bc71fe882.jpg

practice,practice and more practice.

http://www.craveonline.com/videos/babes/00007724/30_seconds_of_a_hot_chick__ice_cream.html

http://break.com/index/drunk-chick-licks-beer-off-floor.html

I support this post:D

[KillaMyers]

If you are referring to oral sex as contract as it were, wouldn't that also imply that demanding a woman to suck you off to also be an obligation? If a woman has just fabulously blown you and asked you to 'return' the favor, would you say "Ewwww, no, I don't like eating pussy"?

I never feel obligated to eat pussy. In fact I really enjoy pleasuring the woman I'm with. As every dude should.

Foreplay is an absolute fucking must when it comes to having good sex.

[KillaMyers]

it sucks for a guy cause after being down there for about 45 minutes your tongue really starts to hurt, and the next day its totally sore... but worth it

No offense dude, but you shouldn't have to be down there for 45 minutes. Unless of course she wants that.:cool:

[Lindsey]

HAHAHA! This conversation is quite amusing I must add!

I agree with Killa here. 45 minutes is a little too long to be down there... Unless actual sex is not an option, then hell.. you can be down there all day if you want! :cool:

[JJFlamingo]

Eating pussy is like breathing and smoking to me. Makes a woman your slave...:D

[xseanymacx]

I never feel obligated to eat pussy. In fact I really enjoy pleasuring the woman I'm with. As every dude should.

Foreplay is an absolute fucking must when it comes to having good sex.

QFT

[yorrick brown]

what does qft mean.

is this some guy code or something.

[Lindsey]

what does qft mean.

is this some guy code or something.

"Quoted for truth". Or as I like to see it: Quite fucking true.

[therealjohng]

Vids or it's bullshit.

[Potzer! 37]

I wrote (almost a year ago) the opening scene of what was to be the next, NEXT, screenplay I was gonna write...the main characters, pre credits, having a discussion...it seemed fitting to this thread:


CREDITS PLAY OVER BLACK. OVER THE BLACK A CIGARETTE LIGHTER IS HEARD BEING LIT AND A MAN SPEAKS:

MAN (OS)
Why do they call it a blowjob?

INT-COLLEGE DORM ROOM-DAY

Piles of stuff and open boxes sit around the room. A MAN in his mid-twenties and a WOMAN of the same age are sitting on one of the two twin beds in the room. The man smokes a cigarette and puts a Zippo style lighter in his pocket; it’s apparent this is the man who asked about the blowjob over black.

The two have been packing the room up for the end of term and are now taking a break. The woman gives the man a questioning annoyed look. The man takes his cue from the look and continues:

MAN (CONT’D)
Think about it; when it comes to oral sex
don’t men have the harder task? It seems
a bit presumptuous to call sucking dick a
“job”. It’s not exactly rocket science, right?

WOMAN
And eating out girls is?

MAN
Well, it’s the oral sex equivalent. Giving a guy
an orgasm is like beating Stephen Hawking in a
foot race. All you have to do is try. If any act
of oral sex is gonna be labeled as a job, it should
be making a woman cum.

WOMAN
I’d say it’s a job; it’s not like you could
do it yourself.

MAN
That’s not for a lack of trying.

WOMAN
Getting a blowjob ranks so high up on most guy’s
sexual wants list that calling it a job makes
perfect sense.

MAN
“Sexual wants list”?

WOMAN
When it comes to sex, there are standards and there
are wants.

MAN
And a blowjob is a want?

WOMAN
For men? Yes. Sex is a standard and that’s all it
takes. But a blowjob is something special.

MAN
I know plenty of girls who have no problem sucking
dick. It’s almost replaced the good night kiss for
some of ‘em.

WOMAN
That may be true for the sluts you date, but for most
girls, a blowjob is a gift.

MAN
And being eaten out doesn’t rank as a want on your
list?

WOMAN
Sure, if the guy can get the job done with standard sex.
But those guys are a rare breed these days. It takes the
extra effort of oral sex just to reach an orgasm
when I’m with most guys.

MAN
Well, maybe not all girls are as frigid as you.
I’ve had plenty of girls enjoy the sex by itself.
And they’re all the more grateful when I decide to
go down south.

WOMAN
I’m just saying that plenty of girls need the extra
effort. Again, with the nymphos you date maybe sex
is enough, but I’m telling you sex alone won’t
get a normal girl to the finish line. Eating girls out
is a standard for most relationships. But blowjobs
aren’t necessary to get a guy off and as such when one
is given, calling it a job is only fair.

MAN
But it takes no effort. I’m not arguing whether or
not we need, em’. I’m saying it’s much more difficult
to make a girl cum when your eating her out than it is
to blow a guy. Granted eating girls out might be necessary,
but it takes a lot more effort and talent than a blowjob.
And eating out sounds like a relaxing afternoon activity.
That shit’s work.

WOMAN
What’re you gonna call it if not eating out?

MAN
I guess a lick-job doesn’t flow very well. But that’s
not the point. The point is that girls get labeled as
the hard workers of the species. Blowjob, hand-job,
rim-job—

WOMAN
Hey girls get those too, you know.

MAN
But none of that qualifies as a job. A hand job
is just glorified masturbation.

WOMAN
Why don’t you do it yourself then?

MAN
After about a decade and a half glorified masturbation’s
a zillion times better than normal masturbation. To be
honest jerking off gets old after the first few months.

WOMAN
So you need a woman to do it for you. And as long as
it’s a task you need done, calling it a job seems fair.

MAN
If that’s fair, then eating out should be re-titled to
convey we’re working just as hard, if not much harder,
than you girls are.

WOMAN
But we don’t need it.

MAN
Don’t need what? Lick-jobs? You just said most guys
have to do it to make you cum. You need it if you want
to finish, don’t you?

WOMAN
When I’m with a guy sure.

MAN
Well when else would it matter? Masturbation doesn’t
match up to sex for you either. You need us to get off
just as much as we need you.

WOMAN
You think so?

MAN
I know so.

The man takes a long drag on his cigarette, snuffs it out on the top of the headboard, and tosses it out a window near the bed. The woman looks at him for a moment and then gets up. She moves to an open box on the floor and starts to unpack it.

MAN
(getting up)
What’re you doing? We’re supposed to be packed up
before graduation tomorrow and I’ve still got to pack
up my room.

WOMAN
Let me finish the argument first.

MAN
What finish? I finished it already; you need us to eat you
out just as much as we need blowjobs. Masturbation’s not
enough and you know it.

The woman finds what she’s looking for in the box, stands up and holds the item out for display. It’s a massive dildo and she’s got a very smug smile on her face.

MAN
Holy shit.

He looks down at his crotch and she laughs and throws the dildo back in the box. She packs it back up as he speaks.

MAN (CONT’D)
No wonder you need guys to eat you out to make you
cum. You’re setting up an unrealistic standard...
for most guys.

WOMAN
(laughing)
Yeah, most guys. We’ve been friends since you were nine
and I’ve seen all of you there is to see.

MAN
What’s that supposed to mean?

She’s finished repacking the box and stands up to face him.

WOMAN
Granted it’s been awhile but unless penis size
increases about a 1000 percent when puberty hits, you
don’t stand a chance compared to that thing.

The man gives the woman a dirty look. And slumps back on the bed. She goes over to him smiling and sits on the bed.

WOMAN
Don’t take it that hard, we’ve never had sex.
For all I know you’re a god in the sack, and
that thing, despite it’s size advantage, won’t
even scratch the surface of what you can do.

MAN
I still say blowjob is an overstatement. Guys work
harder at all things sex related because girls expect
so much. And I don’t care how big your little friend
over there is, nothing compares to the effort the
right guy can put into making a girl cum, be it
oral sex or other wise.

She looks at him doubtfully and he holds her look, determination in his eyes; he’s right and he knows it.

Then the box with the dildo in it starts to vibrate to the extreme; it’s shaking and rocking and bouncing on the floor. The man’s face fills with frustration.

MAN
Oh, fuck it. Never mind, let’s just finish packing.

The man gets up and exits into a connected bathroom and the woman laughs as she moves to the box to turn off her dildo.

CUT TO:

BLACK: THE FINAL TITLES PLAY ON BLACK. THE WOMAN’S VOICE FROM THE PREVIOUS SCENE IS HEARD:

WOMAN (VO)
Let me tell you a story...

any thoughts???? :)

[Tweek]

Eating pussy is like breathing and smoking to me. Makes a woman your slave...:D

That made me titter. Mildly.

[shawnxmonkey]

Lily Allen scares me in more ways then anyone would ever know. She is just a firghtful woman. She is so trashy gotta love that. I love how she talks about like everybody yet she is the most messed up person on the planet

[Natty]

I thought the screenplay perhaps could have been shorter but it was actually really good, kept you reading (but I suppose sex was the subject;))

[Potzer! 37]

Thanks...? Anway, it's just the first draft of the first five pages of a script I may never finish...just as soon as you guys got into your debate up there I was reminded of this scene.