I couldn't do it.... Just couldn't.

[jaw2929]

So we've all ready the numerous stories about ruined theatre going experiences in these forums. Some interesting, some outrageous, some unbelievable, all fucking shared outta frustration no doubt.

For YEARS I used to go to the theatre weekly.... Sometimes 2-3 times per week. And for years (well since the advent of cell phones) motherfuckers who frequent theatres have been extremely rude, inconsiderate and completely fucking agitating. But yet, I was able to somehow suppress and/or ignore the cunts.

Well so far this year since January.... I've been to the theatre a grand total of 4 times. I was given some free movie passes from a friend, and figured "Why not"? Seeing as the it was FREE and all.

And this rant isn't about a specific trip to the theatre, or even about my last trip. And this rant is probably not going to entertain or amuse you in the slightest, and for that I apologize.

Peoples' complete disregard & disrespect for EVERYONE other than themselves has done it. I used to fucking LOATHE people, I hated them with a fucking PASSION! People at malls, in theatres, at stores, the general public basically.... So I've since turned to apathy towards people overall, and it seems to work for me.

What fucking DOESN'T work for me, is when said fucking people RUIN the ONE fuckin' thing that I most enjoy doing in my free time, and that of course is watching movies. I could NOT sit through "88 Minutes" the other day. I got 20 minutes in, and just couldn't do it.

It fucking AGITATES the ever loving mother-fucking SHIT outta me too! I think I've just reached a point where I can not simply sit in a theatre full of strangers and focus completely on the movie in front of me. There's just too many factors: Coughing, texting, snickers, laughing at inappropriate times in the movie, walking the isles behind me, making out, throwing shit, COMMENTS on every fucking thing happening in the movie during the silent parts! People hacking phlegm, children crying, babies wailing, adults speaking as if they're at a fucking SOCIAL CONVENTION! Old people asking questions, people cheering or laughing or yelling at the screen, PEOPLE IN GENERAL!

Mother FUCK them, they're nothing but a buncha completely rude, inconsiderate, hateful, disingenuous, asinine, ignorant, motherfucking CUNTS that have ZERO fucking business even being NEAR a gaddamned movie theatre, much less allowed to be released out into the general public!!!!

I will not, will NOT go to the theatre again (I will "never say never"), but not for a LONG fucking time. Fuck!

*End Rant*

[jaw2929]

The sad thing was, it was 4pm!!!! It was matinee! *ARGH*

It was on a Saturday.... Thing is, the only time I can even consider going to a theatre now is on Wednesdays (my day off), at the art/independent cinema in town. For the MOST part, I can sit and enjoy the movie and not haveta worry about all the horse-shit.

This is why I'm investing in a nice wide screen, flat panel, LCD HD digital TV!

[JohnLocke2342]

I agree with most of the shit you say. I can never again go to a movie on the weekends. Ever. let alone a midnight showing or opening night showcase. You usually have a group of young idiots who go because "they have nothing else to do".. and are bored the entire movie.

Matinee my friend. matinee

[Drewza89]

Matinee my friend. matinee

I totally agree with that. I haven't gone to a nighttime movie in ages. There's usually only old people at matinees.

[EvilHenchman]

I agree with most of the shit you say. I can never again go to a movie on the weekends. Ever. let alone a midnight showing or opening night showcase. You usually have a group of young idiots who go because "they have nothing else to do".. and are bored the entire movie.

Matinee my friend. matinee

So true, sir. So very true.

I can only imagine what a Friday or Saturday evening theater must be like these days. I imagine you'd barely be able to focus on the movie, with all of those illuminated cell phone screens blinking on and off all around you.

I'll take a matinee - with the cheaper tickets, the choice of seating, and the elderly couple in the next row over, quietly doing a play-by-play on the movie to one another - any day.

[sarah1980]

i agree with everything you just said

that's why i threated castration on any dude or chick who pisses me off in the theater ;)

i've done it 4 times and it's worked 4 times

and one of times as at work when a customer called me a certian "C" word

[Tagia_Romero]

and one of times as at work when a customer called me a certian "C" word


Did they live to see the following day, dearheart? :D

[franky4fingerz]

I'm so happy I work at a theatre and can watch the movies after the place closes with a couple of friends and a box of beer.
sorry guys, it must suck.

[sarah1980]

Did they live to see the following day, dearheart? :D


well i haven't seen him at my store since especially when he found out my last name hehe he was scared shitless after that ;)

[dennisv]

You hate people that much? Do you hate yourself?

[RustyRazor]

So we've all ready the numerous stories about ruined theatre going experiences in these forums. Some interesting, some outrageous, some unbelievable, all fucking shared outta frustration no doubt.

For YEARS I used to go to the theatre weekly.... Sometimes 2-3 times per week. And for years (well since the advent of cell phones) motherfuckers who frequent theatres have been extremely rude, inconsiderate and completely fucking agitating. But yet, I was able to somehow suppress and/or ignore the cunts.

Well so far this year since January.... I've been to the theatre a grand total of 4 times. I was given some free movie passes from a friend, and figured "Why not"? Seeing as the it was FREE and all.

And this rant isn't about a specific trip to the theatre, or even about my last trip. And this rant is probably not going to entertain or amuse you in the slightest, and for that I apologize.

Peoples' complete disregard & disrespect for EVERYONE other than themselves has done it. I used to fucking LOATHE people, I hated them with a fucking PASSION! People at malls, in theatres, at stores, the general public basically.... So I've since turned to apathy towards people overall, and it seems to work for me.

What fucking DOESN'T work for me, is when said fucking people RUIN the ONE fuckin' thing that I most enjoy doing in my free time, and that of course is watching movies. I could NOT sit through "88 Minutes" the other day. I got 20 minutes in, and just couldn't do it.

It fucking AGITATES the ever loving mother-fucking SHIT outta me too! I think I've just reached a point where I can not simply sit in a theatre full of strangers and focus completely on the movie in front of me. There's just too many factors: Coughing, texting, snickers, laughing at inappropriate times in the movie, walking the isles behind me, making out, throwing shit, COMMENTS on every fucking thing happening in the movie during the silent parts! People hacking phlegm, children crying, babies wailing, adults speaking as if they're at a fucking SOCIAL CONVENTION! Old people asking questions, people cheering or laughing or yelling at the screen, PEOPLE IN GENERAL!

Mother FUCK them, they're nothing but a buncha completely rude, inconsiderate, hateful, disingenuous, asinine, ignorant, motherfucking CUNTS that have ZERO fucking business even being NEAR a gaddamned movie theatre, much less allowed to be released out into the general public!!!!

I will not, will NOT go to the theatre again (I will "never say never"), but not for a LONG fucking time. Fuck!

*End Rant*


This is the voice of my generation

If it ain't matinee, I say "no way".

Iron Man opens on Friday.
I might not see it for a few weeks because of the masses that'll be coming to see it.

I won't comprimise.
I won't.

[DarthWade]

I understand your rant and agree with it 100%. I haven't seen a movie in a theater since Cloverfield because the experience was so bad. It ticks me off a bit that for the whole summer I'm going to have to wait the extra couple of weeks on each movie before seeing it (unless I can get to a matinee, but now with summer coming - those'll be the shits as well). There's a lot of good movies coming out, but I don't think I can tolerate any of that crap going on.

And you forgot to add a couple of things to your list:


Kids running up and down the stairs so the whole floor vibrates or if you're in one of those theaters with a walkway better the upper and lower sections you'll get people running back and forth so you get this whoooooooooooosh every few seconds.

[Mr.HyDe807]

last time my theater experience was ruined was seeing No Country For Old Men. This annoying husband and wife talking throughout the whole movie, laughing, and even getting up when the movie wasn't over, blocking my view

Fuck off you annoying asses.....wow, that was graphic

[poopontheshoes7]

I agree 100% as well. Its disgusting how rude and disrespectful people are in the theater. I can not, for the life of me, remember one time in the past few years that I've gone to the movies and the audience was respectful of one another. It happens every. fucking. time. If its not cunt rag teenagers acting like shitheads its dumb parents bringing their little tots to movies they have business seeing. Or elderly people casually talking about bullshit the WHOLE movie, or cellsphones ringing, or people kicking the your seat, or crinkling their candy wrappers during the most quiet part of the movie.


ARGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!



People suck.

[MoovEDude]

Good rant! Sometimes I feel like a closet Misanthrope..always pretending to like people but mostly cant stand 'em, their beliefs, politics, tastes etc...Its like American Psycho..I dont know what my "real mask/face" is sometimes.. :p

Okay, I exaggerate, but sometimes I DO feel that way.

I invested in a projector with a HUUUUUUUUUGE movie screen...namely I painted my ENTIRE WALL white and framed it out!

Who needs theaters and chaos?

[Le_Big_Mac]

Well, judging by what the critics are saying, you probably wouldn't have made it much farther than half-an-hour into 88 Minutes anyway.

[jaw2929]

Awww, don't tell me that Le Big Mac! :p

I don't "hate myself" dennisv.... My loathing is appropriately directed at the mass that is society. Does EVERY single person deserve my disdain for the things I've mentioned? Absolutely not. But a GIANT fucking majority of them DO!

I feel like I'M the fucking alien when it comes to being compared to the rest of society.... Perhaps these feelings of social angst and disenfranchisement are coming to me at a LATE age (I'm 25) or something of the sort. Or perhaps THEY are the "aliens" and I'm perfectly fucking sane.

Haven't quite figured it out yet to be honest.....

[Preston_79]

What if instead of geeks going to school and wasting bullies all trench coat mafia style, they focused on making a difference in the movie theaters. I'm talking about waxing as many mother fuckers as possible on opening day of a blockbuster movie after you hear the first cell phone go off. Later they'll find a note in your room explaining how you'd just had enough of spending 10 bucks just to be pissed off for an hour and a half. Let there be a few more copy cat theater massacres and problem solved. People will shut the fuck up, stay in their seats, silence their cellphones, and leave you damn babies at home.

who's gonna step up?

I'm kidding of course.

[Brendan M.]

I rarely ever go to the theater either. The last time I did was in January and those were films at Sundance. Everything you've mentioned bothers me as well. Probably one of the stupidest things ever at the theater was during I Am Legend when some guy's cellphone went off and he quickly went to turn it off. Some idiot kid in the row next to him mumbles some swear words in response and tells him to turn it off or he'll kill him.

Um... Hello? You're adding to the problem! So shut up! The time it took the guy to turn off his cellphone was faster than it took you to finish your fucking sentence! Jesus.

I want to see The Dark Knight obviously the day it comes out. But I just don't know. I guess Movie Theaters are opened in the morning, right? I guess that's really the only option in hopes for no one around to ruin it for me.


By the way, regarding Matinees. Most of the time they're great. Especially when you're the only person in the whole damn room. But one time I saw War of the Worlds at one and it was pretty packed, or packed for a matinee at least, and there was still a number of rude people. An old lady randomly cheering over a Red Sox cap and then some middle aged woman behind me, leaning over her seat with her jaw dropped going "Oh my god.... It's a friggin alien!"

[unspoken]

I actually get pretty lucky and usually don't have bad experiences (other than the people who are so addicted to the cell phone they can't wait 90 minutes to send a text, with the distracting light/screen bothering everyone else) but I had a bad one recently.

I went to Harold and Kumar 2, the late show on Sunday night (started at 10:30). You'd figure it would be pretty empty, however that was not the case. I had to spend half the flick listening to a guy talk like the characters on the screen could actually hear him and was expecting a reply to what he said, and he said it loud enough for everyone in the theater to here.. He was obviously stoned off his ass (could smell it on him) and just a general rude prick. He finally shut up when this guy who was about 6'6-300 threw a big handful of popcorn at him, stood up and said "Shut...The Fuck...Up...Or else, asshole" with the look on his face like he was ready to kill like a wild animal. Not another peep from the guy the entire movie.

[speedbeaver]

UGH! I know...

I went to Harold & Kumar tonight and these girls that looks MAYBE 15 were sitting right in front of me and my friend repeated nearly EVERY joke. Also everytime a song would come on they would start dancing. Like they were obligated to or something. they also had many "Awww..." moments during the "sensitive Kumar" scenes. Terribly annoying.

And on top of that, some chick behind me announced to her boyfriend that she wanted to see "What Happens in Vegas" about 7 times throughout the duration.

I live in South Dakota and usually people here are pretty considerate, outside of occasional texting/toying with their cell phones, which really doesn't bug me all that much, so this was EASILY the worst theatre-going expirience of my life.

[The Postmaster General]

It could be worse: When I saw Batman, someone got up and started shooting at the movie screen, and everyone went running out of the theater screaming.

[Sigur509]

An old crazy lady started preaching to us in the midnight screening of Spiderman 2. She was removed.

[Derrida]

Trail Blazer, I hear you man. I have the same freakin' problem myself, I am planning to see Iron Man at my local movie house this week and my main concern is all those jabbering idiots who think they are watching the film at home and therefore act like slobbering fucknuts. Goddamn, if only I had special licence to rid the world of these fuckers...

[RustyRazor]

It could be worse: When I saw Batman, someone got up and started shooting at the movie screen, and everyone went running out of the theater screaming.


That happened to me during "Monster In Law"!



But I just handed him an extra clip and asked him to aim for Jane Fonda with next few rounds.

[someguy]

Considering the fact that you were watching 88 Minutes I think the audience did you a favour.

[MoovEDude]

An old crazy lady started preaching to us in the midnight screening of Spiderman 2. She was removed.


Now THAT would have been pure gold if someone did that during Passion of the Christ! :D

[bigred760]

I cannot remember the last time I saw a movie in the theater on a Fri, Sat, or Sun. I hit matinees during the week and those are pretty fun experiences; the amount of rude assholes is minimal. About the only time I go to a movie and it's a packed house is for the free screenings, and even then it's not that bad because most of the people there are movie geeks like me.

[jaw2929]

I've pretty much solved my problem this week, by buying a 32 inch widescreen LCD flat-panel TV! With a VERY few exceptions (Possibly Indiana Jones & Dark Knight) I don't think I'll ever be going to the movie theatre now! :D

[HoyleHaw]

I must be blessed. Either that, or you go to the only movie theater in town and it's always packed.

Oh, I've had a few scrapes along the way, but either I have thus far been able to tune it out, I go to the indie movie nobody else wants to see "The Band's Visit," or I get the good seat.

There was one time when I went to see "Gone Baby Gone" that would've qualified had it not been an isolated incident. And last night I went to see "Iron Man," and aside from one point near the beginning where the film stopped playing before starting back up again where it left off, there was really, and surprisingly, very little to complain about, despite all the people crowded in there. But then, they had eight theaters all playing the same movie starting at thirty-minute intervals, so that probably helped, too.

[The Heart Collector]

Peoples' complete disregard & disrespect for EVERYONE other than themselves has done it. I used to fucking LOATHE people, I hated them with a fucking PASSION! People at malls, in theatres, at stores, the general public basically.... So I've since turned to apathy towards people overall, and it seems to work for me.

What fucking DOESN'T work for me, is when said fucking people RUIN the ONE fuckin' thing that I most enjoy doing in my free time, and that of course is watching movies. I could NOT sit through "88 Minutes" the other day. I got 20 minutes in, and just couldn't do it.

It fucking AGITATES the ever loving mother-fucking SHIT outta me too! I think I've just reached a point where I can not simply sit in a theatre full of strangers and focus completely on the movie in front of me. There's just too many factors: Coughing, texting, snickers, laughing at inappropriate times in the movie, walking the isles behind me, making out, throwing shit, COMMENTS on every fucking thing happening in the movie during the silent parts! People hacking phlegm, children crying, babies wailing, adults speaking as if they're at a fucking SOCIAL CONVENTION! Old people asking questions, people cheering or laughing or yelling at the screen, PEOPLE IN GENERAL!

Mother FUCK them, they're nothing but a buncha completely rude, inconsiderate, hateful, disingenuous, asinine, ignorant, motherfucking CUNTS that have ZERO fucking business even being NEAR a gaddamned movie theatre, much less allowed to be released out into the general public!!!!


What the fuck? Go to a psychiatrist, this rant is completely insane. Seriously, what the fuck is this. You cannot stand PEOPLE WALKING?! COUGHING? Hearing a few whispers in the background? You obviously have social anxiety issues.

It agitates you that someone is texting? What the hell is wrong with you, man.

[franky4fingerz]

All these rants make sense. I work at studio movie grill dallas (dinner and movie theatre), and what I hate most is black movies! I'm white but I'm not a racist at all. I just dont understand why 80% of black people have to be such fucking assholes. "I need mo' ranch" "I need mo' beer" "i need, i need, i need, i need". FUCK! Just watch the goddamn movie! And once they are happy with the meal they fucking talk to the movie. Also what I hate are white people coming out of the movie and bitching to me about it. IF YOU ARE WHITE AND LIVE IN DALLAS THEN DONT COME SEE MOTHERFUCKING ROSCOE JENKINS/FIRST SUNDAY/MEET THE BROWNS ON THE WEEKENDS! Jesus stupid people. Same thing for adults who come out bitching about kids talking in goddamn ONE MISSED CALL/MEET SPARTANS/SUPERHERO MOVIE. Grow up people. kids are fucking kids and black people like to talk to the fucking screen. It is what it is.end fucking rant.

I'm sorry guys, at work this weekend all my fellow workers made like 500 a piece in iron man, while I got stuck with MEET THE BULLSHITMOTHERFUCKING BROWN friday-sunday for a grand total on 127 dollars. Fuck my life.

[Scarfather]

I nearly giggled myself to death reading this rant, because you really do come off as a crazy person.

[jaw2929]

What the fuck? Go to a psychiatrist, this rant is completely insane. Seriously, what the fuck is this. You cannot stand PEOPLE WALKING?! COUGHING? Hearing a few whispers in the background? You obviously have social anxiety issues.

It agitates you that someone is texting? What the hell is wrong with you, man.

Abso-fucking-lutely man. I have OCD, and it's funny you mention the social/anxiety issues, cuz I've just made an appointment with a psychiatrist a few days ago (before you posted of course) for the first time, to get on some medication for it. :p

But yeah.... I'm pretty fucking insane, and I'm even MORE fucking insane when it comes to my time at the movies being fucked over by these rude/asinine/inconsiderate fucking twats!

You hit it right on the head though THC. ;)

[EvilHenchman]

I work at studio movie grill dallas (dinner and movie theatre), and what I hate most is black movies! I'm white but I'm not a racist at all. I just dont understand why 80% of black people have to be such fucking assholes.

Careful, your prejudices are showing.

[Scarfather]

I've just made an appointment with a psychiatrist

No need for that, I can give you the diagnosis and prognosis in two bits: You are not the center of the universe. Get over yourself.

I'll take my Nobel Prize now.

[BanksIsDaFuture]

All these rants make sense. I work at studio movie grill dallas (dinner and movie theatre), and what I hate most is black movies! I'm white but I'm not a racist at all. I just dont understand why 80% of black people have to be such fucking assholes. "I need mo' ranch" "I need mo' beer" "i need, i need, i need, i need". FUCK! Just watch the goddamn movie! And once they are happy with the meal they fucking talk to the movie. Also what I hate are white people coming out of the movie and bitching to me about it. IF YOU ARE WHITE AND LIVE IN DALLAS THEN DONT COME SEE MOTHERFUCKING ROSCOE JENKINS/FIRST SUNDAY/MEET THE BROWNS ON THE WEEKENDS! .

Is this faggot serious right now?

Do you really think you're not racist?

[franky4fingerz]

Is this faggot serious right now?

Do you really think you're not racist?

well considering my stepdad is black and so are alot of my friends including my girlfriend, no I dont think I'm racist. I can tell your not a server anywhere because everyone who is would understand, it doesnt matter if your black,white,yellow or whatever, it just is what it is. and for you to call me a "faggot", I find that funny. You have no idea who I am, your just ignorant .

[jaw2929]

No need for that, I can give you the diagnosis and prognosis in two bits: You are not the center of the universe. Get over yourself.

I'll take my Nobel Prize now.


Good for a laugh Scar. But that's all. I've never thought I was the center of the universe. When it comes to watching fucking movies though, wouldn't you want as little distraction as possible? This is the "Rant" forum, correct?

Anyway, yea people fucking agitate the fucking hell outta me. It's true. But as previously mentioned, I've remedied that by buying a wide-screen LCD TV, and because of this I'll probably not be going to the theatre for a LONG time.

[Huttjos]

I totally understand where everyone is coming from. I'm glad it's just not me lol!

The is a reason why it is called a "theatre" (fuck the american spelling...it's wrong LOL!); there is a reason the room goes black, (not only to enjoy the film); there is a FUCKING reason why the screen tells you that silence is golden and to turn off your cell phones!!!

However, I do have to disagree on a tiny level with some of your complaints. I do, very much, hate people talking , and getting up (above all), everything someone is not suppose to do during the film. And that's the problem with people today, is that kids are not taught the respect that older generations were taught. (I'm only 22, but I know how and when to be a certain way, lol)

I do immensely enjoy the opening night at the theatre. If it's a film I want to see, I will try my best to see it opening night. I enjoy the fact that all of these people, everybody different, came to this night to watch the same movie. (granted, maybe without respect, but still, you get my point.) Unlike others, I enjoy a packed theatre, as long as people are there for the FILM AT HAND, not because they are bored. Every now and then you get a crowd for a movie that are all there to WATCH the film.

But yeah, I wish I had a silence gun to shut everyone up :D

[jaw2929]

Yea, I do know how nice (and EXTREMELY rare) it can be to have a theatre full of patrons willing to actually WATCH the fucking movie. It makes the theatre-going experience interesting, that's for sure. I've really only found that this happens in my independent/art theatre and it's mainly due to the majority of the crowd who happens to be full of senior citizens.