Texas Theater to go "Full Screen"

[The Postmaster General]

Texas Theater Moves Toward Showing All Films in Fullscreen Format
(story below)

click for low home loans

Fort Worth, TX, 10:48am

In response to rising pressure from local residents, Fort Worth's Gunshot Theater will make the move to only show its feature films in what is now commonly known as "fullscreen format".

The move was made amidst hundreds of angry letters, an online petition, and finally a full boycott of the theater.

"This is good," says local resident Charlie 'Red' Baker, "I don't see why they need to stretch the films out like that. All the classics were perfectly square images, and anything more is nonsense. If I wanted to move my head back and forth trying to pay attention, I'd go watch tennis."

Others, however, see things differently. At the internet talkback site AICN.com, user DustyHoffballs states, "TH1Z Iz BU77541T!!! WS PWNS FS!!!!"

Meanwhile, theater owner Holly Martins plans to go through with the transition starting July 18th with the premiere of Warner Brothers' The Dark Knight.

http://www.joblo.com/forums/pictures/6866/image_8d0a5bff.jpg
- Source, Strangelove A.P.


:D

[AspectRatio1986]

Wow

[outsyder]

Heh. Well done.

[Homyrrh]

Haha, 'graphic artist's rendition'.

Well done. Why can't I get a home loan?

[jeo4]

http://www.smileyhut.com/laughing/rofl.gif (http://www.smileyhut.com)

[MISFITS_Fiend]

Almost makes me embarassed to be from Texas, but then I think of all the other things that are worse and I get over it...

[electriclite]

ugh. site bugs

[Damone]

Now that was funny. Thanks, Bubba. :D

[electriclite]

Texas' march towards the cultural blackhole goes on proudly and unhindered.


This is the Onion of course, right? Because with Texas its really, really hard to tell humorous hyperbole from, well, Texas.

[Weapon X]

If you demand a theater cut down its screen size 'cause you're sick of movin' your head back and forth....you might be a redneck.

[electriclite]

If you demand a theater cut down its screen size 'cause you're sick of movin' your head back and forth....you might be a redneck.
....Or have meningitis

[vesaker]

Jesus Tapdancing Christ!

Gotta love it though when ppl have a reason for something then try to back it by spouting nonsense like its the truth.....

All the classics were perfectly square images, and anything more is nonsense.

/facepalm

its like the Texan that said "The bible is in english and if english was good enough for Jesus then it's good enough for me"

:rolleyes:

[bigred760]

You should write for "The Onion."

[Cop No. 633]

Can we nuke that theater? You know, with like a baby nuke so that it would only affect that theater and nothing else around? You know, like those baby nukes from Starship Troopers?

[vesaker]

Can we nuke that theater? You know, with like a baby nuke so that it would only affect that theater and nothing else around? You know, like those baby nukes from Starship Troopers?

no no no, you nukethe ppl who are boycotting the theater that wants no part in this screen size conversion ;)

[LordSimen]

Bubba, gotta admit. You had me up until the internet response part. :D

[Cronos]

Haha, thanks for the laugh :D

[Tweek]

Bwahaha Jolly good.:D

[Cronos]

If you demand a theater cut down its screen size 'cause you're sick of movin' your head back and forth....you might be a redneck.
Or need to stop sitting in the front row...

[someguy]

oh this forum doubles as an application for the onion?

[Moviefan1234]

Haha, you had me going. Well done.

[The Postmaster General]

BubbaStrangelove recently made a satirical post mocking people who prefer fullscreen over widescreen. The post was met with good humor from most, but others failed to see the joke. What do you think?

http://www.joblo.com/forums/pictures/6866/image_17335574.jpg
Liz Tofler
Student
"Whatever. It's probably funnier than The Love Guru, and at least it's free."

http://www.joblo.com/forums/pictures/6866/image_15ea440e.jpg
Carl Weatherspoon
Investment Banker
"As long as that motherfucker isn't making 20,000 word posts, I couldn't really give a shit."

http://joblo.com/forums/image.php?u=2192&dateline=1148950535
someguy
joblo.com user
"oh this forum doubles as an application for the onion?"

[X-Nightcrawler]

Clever motherfucker.

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2006/08/23/edna2_gallery__282x400.jpg
You get the key to the SchmoeCity.

[Cop No. 633]

http://www.dailykaizen.org/wp-content/uploads/2006/04/30393175.jpg

Just don't bite on it Bubba. It's not made of chocolate!

[Tweek]

Another triumph! Bubba, there couldn't be a thread without you! :p

[Homyrrh]

Anyone see some of the YouTube Onion videos? A gold mine of laughs.

[someguy]

BubbaStrangelove recently made a satirical post mocking people who prefer fullscreen over widescreen. The post was met with good humor from most, but others found the joke to be kind of lame/unnecessary for a whole thread even though they understood it perfectly.

sorry bubs i found it kind of groan worthy (much like most of my posts)

[CyclicNightmare]

Imma go ahead and throw my lot in with Team Someguy on this one.

[The Postmaster General]

sorry bubs i found it kind of groan worthy (much like most of my posts)

Now you're just being redundant. :eek: Hey, at least no one is complaining about the target of my rant. The style in which I did it though, WATCH OUT!! :D;)


Imma go ahead and throw my lot in with Team Someguy on this one.

Well, you're too late. someguy gets the clever response because he was here first. :D If you think otherwise, you, my friend :), are sorely mistaken. Most sorely indeed! Hahahahahahahahahaha! :p:p:p:p:p

[someguy]

oh my god bordereevil has taken over bubba's account

[Homyrrh]

Honestly, it's about as quality as satire can become.

[dellamorte dellamore]

Freak just getting rid of widescreen , if you want to see movies the way they were meant to be seen , they should be without sound also , like the very first ones ever made .

[X-Nightcrawler]

Freak just getting rid of widescreen , if you want to see movies the way they were meant to be seen , they should be without sound also , like the very first ones ever made .
And if you want to eat food like it was meant to be eaten, then you have to eat it raw and with your hands. No fancy cooking.

Oh! And if you want to wear clothes as they're meant to be worn, they should be tiny animal skin loincloths, like the very first ones were. Not to mention, if you wanna go to the doctor, you should go to a shaman, too. Who needs technological evolution anyway.

*slaps knee*

[dellamorte dellamore]

LOL

I can see the next logical step in the evolutionary process of Texas theatergoers is Flipbooks , weren't they the first official motion pictures :) .

[muttly69]

hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[mobiledeli]

haha like watching a tennis match...

[dellamorte dellamore]

hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

No offense to the citizens of Texas , i'm just referring to the odd bunch that is demanding fullscreen in the theater ;)

[Grn_Str_Movies]

W0W!

do i feel bad for them.

[NathanRomano]

Will you hand me a Pronk?