Stupid Fucking E-Mails That My Uncle Sends Me

[countchocula]

Every day, my uber-conservative/Christian uncle sends me anti-Obama/pro-McCain/pro-Bush e-mails that are beyond ignorant. I can't exactly tell him that he is a moron because the family is pretty close. However, I thought it would be interesting to post all of his little e-mails in a thread so that I can mock them freely along with some of you guys. I'll start off with a doozy that I received just ten minutes ago.

"FW: The Plan

Here's the plan,

A. Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men.

B. Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.

C. Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.

D. In three generations, there will be no Democrats.

I love it when a plan comes together."

[countchocula]

(double post)

[countchocula]

"Fw: Read it and weep - or do something about it.

INTERESTING DATA JUST RECEIVED ON TAXES

Spread the word.....


This is something you should be

aware of so you don't get blind-sided.
This is really going to catch a lot

of families off guard. It should
make you worry.

Proposed changes in taxes after 2008 General election:


CAPITAL GAINS TAX


MCCAIN
0% on home sales up to $500,000

per home (couples) McCain does not
propose any change in existing

home sales income tax.

OBAMA
28% on profit from ALL home sales

How does this affect you?

If you sell your home and make a profit, you
will pay 28% of your gain on taxes.

If you are heading toward retirement
and would like to down-size your

home or move into a retirement
community, 28% of the money you

make from your home will go to taxes. This
proposal will adversely affect the

elderly who are counting on the income
from their homes as part of their retirement income.

DIVIDEND TAX


MCCAIN 15% (no change)


OBAMA 39.6%

How will this affect you?

If you have any money invested in stock
market, IRA, mutual funds,

college funds, life insurance, retirement
accounts, or anything that pays

or reinvests dividends, you will now
be paying nearly 40% of the money

earned on taxes if Obama become president.

The experts predict that 'higher

tax rates on dividends and capital gains

would crash the stock market yet
do absolutely nothing to cut the deficit.

INCOME TAX


MCCAIN (no changes)

Single making 30K - tax $4,500
Single making 50K - tax $12,500
Single making 75K - tax $18,750
Married making 60K- tax $9,000
Married making 75K - tax $18,750
Married making 125K - tax $31,250

OBAMA
(reversion to pre-Bush tax cuts)
Single making 30K - tax $8,400
Single making 50K - tax $14,000
Single making 75K - tax $23,250
Married making 60K - tax $16,800
Married making 75K - tax $21,000
Married making 125K - tax $38,750


Under Obama your taxes will

more than double!
How does this affect you? No explanation

needed. This is pretty
straight forward.

INHERITANCE TAX


MCCAIN 0% (No change, Bush repealed this tax)

OBAMA Restore the inheritance tax

How does this affect you? Many families

have lost businesses,
farms and ranches, and homes

that have

been in their families
for generations because they could not

afford the inheritance tax.
Those willing their assets to loved

ones will not only lose them to
these taxes.

NEW TAXES BEING PROPOSED BY OBAMA


* New government taxes proposed on

homes that are more than
2400 square feet


* New gasoline taxes (as if

gas weren't high enough already)


* New taxes on natural resources

consumption (heating
gas, water, electricity)


* New taxes on retirement accounts

and last but not least....

* New taxes to pay for socialized medicine

so we can receive the same
level of medical care as other

third-world countries!!!

[countchocula]

PS-You gotta love the exclusion of SOURCES!

[MadsenOMC]

That reminds me of something my wife told me this morning. She's in Georgia on a business trip. She was meeting with a client and he abruptly told her that he would not be renewing his contract with her company because they "advertise on gay and lesbian friendly websites, and that doesn't play well down here, where we're all Christians."

[Moviefan1234]

That reminds me of something my wife told me this morning. She's in Georgia on a business trip. She was meeting with a client and he abruptly told her that he would not be renewing his contract with her company because they "advertise on gay and lesbian friendly websites, and that doesn't play well down here, where we're all Christians."

Are you serious? That makes me shamed to be American to hear that kind of stuff. It really is a whole different country down there.

[MadsenOMC]

Are you serious? That makes me shamed to be American to hear that kind of stuff. It really is a whole different country down there.

Unfortunately yes. She was stunned. Said it came out of nowhere.

[Scarfather]

That reminds me of something my wife told me this morning. She's in Georgia on a business trip. She was meeting with a client and he abruptly told her that he would not be renewing his contract with her company because they "advertise on gay and lesbian friendly websites, and that doesn't play well down here, where we're all Christians."

Some of the most depraved people I've ever known live in Atlanta, so I find this hilarious.

[The Heart Collector]

Every day, my uber-conservative/Christian uncle sends me anti-Obama/pro-McCain/pro-Bush e-mails that are beyond ignorant. I can't exactly tell him that he is a moron because the family is pretty close. However, I thought it would be interesting to post all of his little e-mails in a thread so that I can mock them freely along with some of you guys. I'll start off with a doozy that I received just ten minutes ago.

"FW: The Plan

Here's the plan,

A. Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men.

B. Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.

C. Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.

D. In three generations, there will be no Democrats.

I love it when a plan comes together."

Can you reply to this one saying "Larry Craig loves sucking dick. Ted Haggart loves sucking dick. Republicans loooove sucking dick. You need dick. You need big, hot dicks in your greedy little mouth. You like sucking dicks. "

[The Heart Collector]

Unfortunately yes. She was stunned. Said it came out of nowhere.

Please tell me your wife told her "Fine, I don't do business with self-righteous hateful pieces of shit. You eat shit. You like eating bags of poop."

[Brando @$$ Fat]

This is exactly why I cut off all ties with those people. It sounds shitty but at least I don't get any e-mails.

[Tweek]

Every day, my uber-conservative/Christian uncle sends me anti-Obama/pro-McCain/pro-Bush e-mails that are beyond ignorant. I can't exactly tell him that he is a moron because the family is pretty close. However, I thought it would be interesting to post all of his little e-mails in a thread so that I can mock them freely along with some of you guys. I'll start off with a doozy that I received just ten minutes ago.

"FW: The Plan

Here's the plan,

A. Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men.

B. Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.

C. Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.

D. In three generations, there will be no Democrats.

I love it when a plan comes together."

That is so offensive... And I would think to you especially.

What's funny is the assumption that:

-All Democrats are homosexuals
-There's no such thing as artificial insemination or surrogacy
-Every "liberal" woman will seek an abortion


My suggestion?: Block his e-mail address. lol

Does he try to antagonize like that a lot?

[Homyrrh]

That reminds me of something my wife told me this morning. She's in Georgia on a business trip. She was meeting with a client and he abruptly told her that he would not be renewing his contract with her company because they "advertise on gay and lesbian friendly websites, and that doesn't play well down here, where we're all Christians."
Unfortunately, aside from what I can likely assume is his own bias, your wording implies more a business decision that a political/social/religious one. For example, Harry Potter doesn't sell down there with all the "evil' and "witchcraft" it promotes.

The Deep South breeds an unfortunate type of "Christianity"--one apparently entirely separate from Christ's doctrine of acceptance and forgiveness--and companies will manipulate this and capitalize on this for a profit.

[Elgyn]

count your uncle is just trying to show you that freedom isn`t free.




count can you give me your uncle`s e-mail address??

[jeo4]

PS-You gotta love the exclusion of SOURCES!

And facts.

http://www.factcheck.org/askfactcheck/would_obama_tax_my_profits_if_i.html

[The Heart Collector]

http://wonkette.com/401018/anti-gay-alabama-attorney-general-caught-being-gay
hey look another cocksucking republican

[MadsenOMC]

Caught by his wife no less. Man what I'd give to have seen the look on both their faces. This shit has become such a cliche.

[countchocula]

I just sent my uncle this e-mail. I'll report back once he replies.

"I thought you would find this to be interesting. One of the e-mails you forwarded to me is riddled with inaccuracies. Almost all of these e-mails about Obama are entirely untrue. Follow this URL. It's a nonpartisan website.

http://www.factcheck.org/askfactcheck/would_obama_tax_my_profits_if_i.html "

[Elgyn]

That`d be funny if your uncle wrote back and called you a "no good nigger lovin` fuckin` FAG".

[someguy]

I arrived in Moscow, Idaho (Home of Idaho University one block from Best
Western) and went to dinner at Best Western. About 85-100 people were in
the Restaurant. I'm at a table for about 5 minutes when this "Group" comes
in (20 people). They have Anti-War Picket Signs with them. It appears that
two of these demonstrators are Professors. They all sit at a large round
table behind me and begin to talk very loudly about US atrocities in
Afghanistan. One of the "Professors" stands up and gives a brief talk about
how the "US is famous for atrocities" and Afghanistan will be no different.
One of the students asked a question about Vietnam POW's. The "Professor"
makes a comment about how that was only US propaganda about poor treatment
of POW's.

OK - I'm really mad now and I jump up and go over to their table.
(In retrospect - Over the entrance to the Restaurant is a huge American
Flag. On each table is an American Flag and a small hand painted sign
"United We Stand"). I excuse myself and ask the Professor if I can ask him a
question. He says yes. I said that he appears to be of age to have served
in Viet Nam, and asked him if he had served. His answer was, "NO - I
defended this Campus and told the truth to the students. I then asked if he
remembered what he was doing on February 16, 1969. When he answered, "Of
course not - that was too long ago," I responded, "Really, I remember what I
was doing. That was the second day of my capture and I had been standing in
a bamboo cage for 24 hours with water up to my chest". I then said "Sir,
your comments about how POW's in Nam were treated are a lie and I personally
say to you, you are a liar, as you never were there. I was a POW and they
did not treat our POWs humanly. The only other person I have ever heard
make the statements like you have is Jane Fonda. Is she telling the truth
and not me?"

He stood up and after about 10 seconds said, "Jane is a great
patriot and I cannot visualize her lying." With that, I reached over and
grabbed the small American Flag and United We Stand sign and said, "I'm
taking this back to my table where it can be appreciated". No one said a
word to me as I started to walk back.

However after a few seconds, people started standing up and
applauding all around the restaurant. Two men got up from a table across the
room and walked over to me. The first identified himself as former US Marine
Lieutenant Flynn and the other man was former Gunnery Sergeant Graboski. In
a loud voice after introducing themselves, Lt. Flynn said they were former
Marine Guards at a US Embassy. He then said, "We are over at this table to
defend the US Flag from all foes, both foreign and domestic." They then sat
down and asked their Waitress to bring their meals over to my table. A few
more minutes went by with loud comments from the "Anti-War" table.

All of a sudden, "Gunny" Sergeant Graboski stood up and in a loud
voice said "All of you heard what the President said the other night. You
are either with the United States or you are with the terrorists." He then
said, "Please stand and join me in God Bless America." As he started
singing, people all around the restaurant stood up and joined in. Several
of the students at the "Anti-War" table also stood up half way through the
song and joined in. Both Professors and the majority of the students
remained seated and refused to sing. At the end there was a great ovation.
The Manager came up to my table. (He and his staff came out from the kitchen
and sang). He thanked me for what I started and then went over to the
Anti-War table and asked them to leave. "I will pay for what you have had so
far but I cannot in good conscience serve you - get out now!!

One of the Professors then made a remark "Well, we are not going to
pay one dime for how shabbily we have been treated." As they were leaving,
one customer stood up and said, "Manager, here is $5 towards their bill,
anyone else willing to chip in to get this scum out of here?" All over the
restaurant, people stood up reaching for their wallet and saying, "I'll chip
in" The Manager, in tears said, "My family is from Poland, I am now a
citizen and am so proud of what I see tonight." He started crying and a
couple of the waitresses helped him into the kitchen. The two Marines and I
were there for about another 20 minutes and finished our meal. The Hostess
came up and showed us more than $100 dollars that all the other tables had
told their Waitresses to give towards our bill. I thanked her but said I
could not take the money. Lt. Flynn suggested donating it in the
Restaurant's name to the New York Relief Fund, so I guess that's what will
happen. I just can't believe how Americans are coming together now. Just
thought you would like to hear how the rest of the country is reacting to
what happened!!!

http://www.snopes.com/rumors/egghead.asp

[Scarfather]

http://www.snopes.com/rumors/egghead.asp

That's the funniest thing I've read all year.

[countchocula]

Good one, Someguy. I encourage others to post similar e-mails. I may write an article on the subject (I'm a freelance writer by trade).

[Badbird]

That reminds me of something my wife told me this morning. She's in Georgia on a business trip. She was meeting with a client and he abruptly told her that he would not be renewing his contract with her company because they "advertise on gay and lesbian friendly websites, and that doesn't play well down here, where we're all Christians."

Well, the joke's on him, as Microsoft is one of the most gay-friendly companies in America, and I'm pretty sure he uses some type of MS product to check out the internets.

Little does he know that his home has been infiltrated by a 'Merica-hating, anti-Christian, cock-loving homosexual computer.

Right now it's already infecting his children. They're gonna be total queers when they grow up.

[MadsenOMC]

Well, the joke's on him, as Microsoft is one of the most gay-friendly companies in America, and I'm pretty sure he uses some type of MS product to check out the internets.

My initial response was similar. I asked her if he realizes that many major companies have gay-friendly policies nowadays.

[Badbird]

My initial response was similar. I asked her if he realizes that many major companies have gay-friendly policies nowadays.

And based on this list I found, those guys are pretty much fucked.


Below is the list, in alphabetical order, of companies scoring a perfect 100 percent on the Human Rights Campaign's 2008 Corporate Equality Index, with policies beneficial toward homosexuals:

1. AAA Northern California, Nevada and Utah
2. Abercrombie & Fitch
3. Accenture
4. Adobe Systems
5. Aetna
6. Agilent Technologies
7. Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld
8. Alcatel-Lucent
9. Allianz Life Insurance Co. of North America
10. Allstate
11. Alston & Bird
12. American Express
13. Ameriprise Financial
14. American Airlines
15. Anheuser-Busch Companies
16. Aon
17. Apple
18. Arnold & Porter
19. AT&T
20. Bain & Co.
21. Bank of America
22. Bausch & Lomb
23. Bear Stearns
24. Best Buy
25. Bingham McCutchen
26. Boehringer Ingelheim Pharmaceuticals
27. Boeing
28. Borders
29. Boston Consulting Group
30. BP America
31. Bright Horizons Family Solutions
32. Brinker International
33. Bristol-Myers Squibb Co
34. Bryan Cave
35. Capital One
36. Cargill
37. Carlson Companies
38. Charles Schwab
39. Chevron
40. ChoicePoint
41. Chrysler
42. Chubb
43. Cisco Systems
44. Citigroup
45. Clear Channel Communications
46. Cleary, Gottlieb, Steen & Hamilton
47. Clorox
48. CMP Media
49. CNA Insurance
50. Coca-Cola
51. Coors
52. Corning
53. Countrywide Financial
54. Credit Suisse
55. Crowell & Moring
56. Cummins
57. Dell
58. Deloitte & Touche
59. Deutsche Bank
60. Dewey Ballantine
61. Dickstein Shapiro
62. Dorsey & Whitney
63. Dow Chemical
64. DuPont
65. Eastman Kodak
66. Electronic Arts
67. Eli Lilly & Co.
68. Ernst & Young
69. Estee Lauder
70. Esurance
71. Faegre & Benson
72. Fannie Mae
73. Foley & Lardner
74. Foley Hoag
75. Ford
76. Freescale Semiconductor
77. GameStop
78. Gap
79. Genentech
80. General Mills
81. General Motors
82. GlaxoSmithKline
83. Hyatt
84. Goldman Sachs
85. Google
86. Harrah's
87. Hartford Financial Services
88. Harvard Pilgrim Health Care
89. Heller Ehrman
90. Herman Miller
91. Hewitt Associates
92. Hewlett-Packard
93. Holland & Knight
94. Honeywell International
95. Hospira
96. HSBC USA
97. IndyMac Bancorp
98. ING North America Insurance
99. Intel
100. IBM
101. Intuit
102. J.C. Penney
103. J.P. Morgan Chase & Co.
104. Jenner & Block
105. Johnson & Johnson
106. Kaiser Permanente
107. KeyCorp
108. Keyspan Corp
109. Kimpton Hotel & Restaurant Group
110. Kirkland & Ellis
111. KPMG
112. Kraft Foods
113. Kramer Levin Naftalis & Frankel
114. Latham & Watkins
115. Lehman Brothers
116. Levi Strauss
117. Lexmark International
118. Liz Claiborne
119. Macy
120. Marriott International
121. Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance
122. MasterCard
123. McDermott Will & Emery
124. McKinsey & Co.
125. Mellon Financial
126. Merck & Co.
127. Merrill Lynch & Co.
128. MetLife
129. Microsoft
130. Mintz, Levin, Cohn, Ferris, Glovsky & Popeo
131. Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams
132. Morgan Stanley
133. Morrison & Foerster
134. Motorola
135. National Grid USA
136. Nationwide
137. NCR
138. New York Times
139. Newell Rubbermaid
140. Nike
141. Nixon Peabody
142. Nordstrom
143. Northern Trust
144. Northrop Grumman
145. O'Melveny & Myers
146. Oracle
147. Orrick, Herrington & Sutcliffe
148. Paul, Hastings, Janofsky & Walker LLP
149. PepsiCo
150. Pfizer
151. PG&E
152. Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman
153. Powell Goldstein
154. PricewaterhouseCoopers
155. Principal Financial Group
156. Prudential Financial
157. Raytheon
158. Recreational Equipment Inc.
159. Replacements Ltd.
160. S.C. Johnson & Son
161. Schering-Plough
162. Sears
163. Sidley Austin
164. Sodexho
165. Sonnenschein, Nath & Rosenthal
166. Sprint Nextel
167. Starbucks
168. Starcom MediaVest
169. Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide
170. State Street Corp.
171. Subaru of America
172. Sun Microsystems
173. SunTrust Banks
174. Supervalu
175. Tech Data
176. Time Warner
177. Toyota Motor Sales USA
178. Travelport
179. U.S. Bancorp
180. UBS AG
181. United Parcel Service
182. US Airways Group
183. Viacom
184. Visa
185. Volkswagen of America
186. Wachovia
187. Walgreens
188. Walt Disney
189. Washington Mutual
190. Waste Management
191. Wells Fargo & Co.
192. Whirlpool
193. Wyndham Worldwide
194. Xerox
195. Yahoo!

[Homyrrh]

WHAT?!?!? NO EXXON?!?!?!?

Heh, they scored a zero.

[Homyrrh]

You guys still don't understand Madsen's initial post.

THe suits care most about money, regardless of how they do so or what they have to do to collect. IF this is news to anyone, you have no right to discuss this.

[The Postmaster General]

Countchocula -- What I hate most about those emails is that they are usually chain mails. I don't care if some people have my email address, but I don't want all your officemates and drinking buddies having access to my email.

I used to respond to these emails, usually in the form of "forwarding" something I made up that retorts. Now I just "bounce" them back and if the person ever asks, say that my mail doesn't accept chain mails, or say it must have gotten marked as junk. Usually they just stop sending them.



Are you serious? That makes me shamed to be American to hear that kind of stuff. It really is a whole different country down there.

Bare in mind, Moviefan, all these words aren't directed at you, but are a culmination of thoughts I've had over many years, so don't take my willingness to be expansive about my thoughts as some sort of indicator that I'm blowing of steam, or taking the piss out of you. I'm just sharing words and ideas, which I have a lot of on the topic of discrimination of The South as a whole region . </pretext>

Come on, man. Please stop saying "down there". The dude was a racist plain and simple. Key West is about as "down there" as you can get, and while not historically The South, they still drop a drag queen in a giant stilletto hill (instead of a giant ball) every New Years.

I've been all around The South, and moved to the Midwest 5 years ago, and have met more outright racists then anywhere I've been my entire life. The only difference is that in The South they are easier to spot. Here, it's like they live in a closet or something, but when you get a room of white people together I've heard the most fucked up shit I've heard in my entire life.

I was at a gas station and this guy with choppy english was trying to get directions - I had no problem understanding him, and he was abundantly thankful for the help - seemed like a really nice guy. As soon as he walks out of the store, and it's just me and the two white clerks, out of nowhere they start talking about people should learn the language if they are going to live here ---- And I live in a fucking blue state.

Minnesota is known for its liberalism, but I have an insane amount of these stories - most involving professional settings, and not just run-ins with random losers at gas stations. On the other hand, I've been to Georgia, up and around Atlanta, and had not once heard anything remotely racist. What's really confusing about this pigeon holing of southern states is that, for example, Atlanta, Georgia has a higher percentage of blacks over whites. http://www.city-data.com/city/Atlanta-Georgia.html

That's what I don't get. People from "Up There" look down on The South as some racist entity, a hotbed of hatred toward minorities, and it's total bullshit. There's more minorities in The South than anywhere else. I've known blacks that have lived up North and turned around, came back, and since most people I know are so stunned, would only describe it as "it is what it is." If this is all such a hotbed of racism as people say, it would seem that minorities are doing pretty fucking well - just as one example, pretty much every popular music genre started by minorities in America started in The South (jazz, blues) - the exception being rap music (NYC), which has however, spawned multiple subgenres centered solely around The South (dirty south: three 6 mafia; miami bass: 95 South, 2 Live Crew; southern rap: Arrested Development)

New Orleans was also predominantly black. And when Katrina hit, and all those people were in need, it was southern states that moved in to provide the most help. Most of the Northern states helped by way of tax-deductible donations, and providing housing for people in exchange for generous government payouts --- A majority of the grunt work and actual hands on labor without monetary reward --- Southerners.

Besides, "down there" really resembles too closely resembles the same language that includes "them people" or "over there" --- close-mindedness isn't limited to issues stemming from the American Civil War.

I know that particular response was about someone being homophobic and not racist, but I've not really found an imbalanced hatred toward homosexuals either - at least not in comparison to everywhere else i've been, which is pretty much all over the midwest, south and north-east --- I'd love to go out west one day, but don't expect every person in California to be a hippy, nor every person in Nevada to wear a cowboy hat and gamble compulsively. The only thing I find strikingly different from place to place is accents, and how you order a carbonated beverage sweetened with high fructose corn syrup.

Maybe the one difference with The South that keeps it attached to those ideas is the fact that Southerns do talk a lot (you couldnt tell?) -- So maybe just more nonsense comes out, but that's because more of everything comes out.

Y'all come back now, ya here (ironically, the Beverly Hillbillies were from the American Northeast...)

[countchocula]

Having lived in North Carolina for 23 years, I can safely say that there are gobs of idiots in the South. Having spent a great deal of time in Indiana, I can safely say that there are gobs of idiots in the North.

It's just a stereotype. Like all stereotypes, it does have roots in truth. The roots do not accurately represent all of the foliage in every state. It's worth mentioning that my uncle was born and raised in Illinois.

[The Postmaster General]

Thanks for sharing that. I hope you start bouncing back your uncle's emails. It's not worth your time. Just stop the cycle of hate. Your uncle probably thinks he's being funny, so don't slight him too much.

Even worse is a excoworker of my wife found her on facebook or something, then started corresponding with her, and sending this sort of stuff - I'm pretty sure she doesn't know which way we lean, so it's weird that people think everyone shares their opinion, but I really think it comes down to people wanting to share a laugh so even though it sucks, there's eomthing of a silver lining.

The glass is half full... the glass if half full... the glass is half full...

"Bubba, that's a plastic mug and it's spilled over!"

[Homyrrh]

If the glass is half full, why are we wasting half a glass's worth of plastic?

[Jon Lyrik]

There's tons of rednecks where I live. Yes, in CT. It's an exurb, though, so that shouldn't be too surprising.

[MadsenOMC]

You guys still don't understand Madsen's initial post.

THe suits care most about money, regardless of how they do so or what they have to do to collect. IF this is news to anyone, you have no right to discuss this.

Not in this case. My wife told me more about their meeting when she got home (I heard the story first over the phone). He was a bible-beating, homophobic redneck. It had nothing to do with business or money.

[Homyrrh]

Not in this case. My wife told me more about their meeting when she got home (I heard the story first over the phone). He was a bible-beating, homophobic redneck. It had nothing to do with business or money.
In that case he's dumber than he is racist.

Money trumps race.

[MadsenOMC]

In that case he's dumber than he is racist.

I suspect he is a whole lot of both.

[Homyrrh]

I suspect he is a whole lot of both.
Yeah, but who wouldn't tolerate those damn niggers and satan-worshippers if it meant their money? All cash is green after all.

[MadsenOMC]

Yeah, but who wouldn't tolerate those damn niggers and satan-worshippers if it meant their money? All cash is green after all.

You would think so, but I don't think a guy like that is smart enough to realize that. People like him are all-consumed by their hate and prejudice. It trumps almost everything else in their life.

[BadCoverVersion]

http://www.snopes.com/rumors/egghead.asp

I quite literally roflled and lolled whilst reading that.

[Homyrrh]

I quite literally roflled and lolled whilst reading that.
Three days later...

...still trying to find traces of humor.

[Moviefan1234]

Three days later...

...still trying to find traces of humor.

I find that hard to believe. After I read that shit, I was laughing so hard I literally cried. Oh the humor all these warhawks give me. Every time they see a soldier, they shoot a load in their pants.

[Scarfather]

Three days later...

...still trying to find traces of humor.

It reading like a transcript for the sort of delirious propaganda film reserved only for public schools and gulags not clear enough?

Or do you indulge in that sort of thing?

[MadsenOMC]

Was this story "propaganda"? By definition, eh, yeah whatever. But why should people have to lobby for revitalizing national pride? Right or left, fuck anyone who hates their country or draft dodges or condemns any level of military servitude.

Fuck anyone who questions the patriotism of someone who dares speak ill of America. Fuck anyone who blindly believes that America is always in the right. Fuck anyone who equates national pride with believing whatever the president and military do is right.

[Homyrrh]

I find that hard to believe. After I read that shit, I was laughing so hard I literally cried. Oh the humor all these warhawks give me. Every time they see a soldier, they shoot a load in their pants.
The honest implication on me is that no one has national pride? While that story was excessively outlandish and rather unnecessary, it is base and altogether despicable to laugh --excessively--at the principle of loving one's country.

Was this story "propaganda"? By definition, eh, yeah whatever. But why should people have to lobby for revitalizing national pride? Right or left, fuck anyone who hates their country or draft dodges or condemns any level of military servitude.

[The Postmaster General]

Three days later...

...still trying to find traces of humor.


The University of Idaho is in Moscow, so it's funny because they are communists trying to hide their misdeeds against the soldiers.

[Moviefan1234]

condemns any level of military servitude.

That's bullshit, and you know it. In this country, many blindly hold our service members to this high standard. They are military, it doesn't mean everyone should have theirs cocks down their throat. Yes, it is a very honorable profession, but they make mistakes just like everyone else. They are not better just because of the uniform they wear. What makes a man (or woman) is not the line of work they choose, but the choices they make in life. The right wingers have made soldiers the most overrated profession in the country. They aren't a unique and special snowflake, they're no different than you or I just because they are off at war.

[QUENTIN]

The honest implication on me is that no one has national pride? While that story was excessively outlandish and rather unnecessary, it is base and altogether despicable to laugh --excessively--at the principle of loving one's country.

Was this story "propaganda"? By definition, eh, yeah whatever. But why should people have to lobby for revitalizing national pride? Right or left, fuck anyone who hates their country or draft dodges or condemns any level of military servitude.

Fuck me? Why? Because this nation's government objectively, categorically, obviously does way more harm than it does good? Because we're bad for the world and contribute enormously to global suffering and the literal destruction of the planet? Because overall we put capitalism over democracy, oligarchy over we the people, and convenience over righteousness? Because the vast majority of our people practice willful ignorance and accept manipulation and are therefore largely to blame for the innumerable and terrible sins of our government and people since our nation's founding? Because we wouldn't exist without genocide and wanton theft? Because we wouldn't be a financial superpower without slavery and exploitation? Because we don't practice and never have the ideals our nation is supposedly founded on? Overall, we are not a good country. Certainly it's not all bad, but most of the good comes from the decent people who are decent regardless of their nationality. I seriously dislike this country, hate probably wouldn't be too strong a word, though I see our potential. I have a hard time understanding any good-hearted person with a firm grasp of history and current events who likes America. Fuck me for that?

Or how about I've seen too much to buy into the pretense that me shooting at a guy with darker skin or getting shot at by a guy who speaks a different language in a far off land will somehow keep my countrymen safer? Because I believe human life has an intrinsic value and it is despicable to assume one has the right to take that life, I'm an asshole? Because I don't think a uniform makes someone my enemy? Because I see people as human beings, not as Krauts, Nips, Gooks, and Sand Niggers I deserve derision? Because I think the Sermon on The Mount is right on, I should go fuck myself? It's pretty easy to be a citizen of this country, certainly compared with living in the majority of the rest of the world. There's a relatively high standard of living that has come with all the money we've accumulated. That doesn't make us a great country and the fact that by chance I was born here instead of somewhere else doesn't instill me with pride. What next, if I don't support my local sports team I'm a douchebag?

That's the level of "national pride" you're talking about anyway. "Woohoo, Go America! We're #1! Fuck your country! If you don't like it, shut up and get out!" is no different and just as stupid and silly as being a die hard Red Sox fan and hating Yankees fans. That's the pride demonstrated in that hilarious, ridiculous story. Real pride in national identity is shown by holding people responsible for their actions and demanding that the promises set forth when they wrote "We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal..." are finally fulfilled.

[countchocula]

My uncle hasn't e-mailed me at all since I started this thread. I think Homyrrh is my uncle.

[Elgyn]

That's bullshit, and you know it. In this country, many blindly hold our service members to this high standard. They are military, it doesn't mean everyone should have theirs cocks down their throat. Yes, it is a very honorable profession, but they make mistakes just like everyone else. They are not better just because of the uniform they wear.



THANK YOU.

moviefan, I`ve given you crap before......but we finally agree on something!!!:):)

[Moviefan1234]

THANK YOU.

moviefan, I`ve given you crap before......but we finally agree on something!!!:):)

The past is the past. :) Now let's continue agreeing!

I will fight this argument to my fucking death. I get so riled up over this topic, it's really concerns me how some people can blindly support and love something like this. They are no better than any one else.

[The Postmaster General]

My uncle hasn't e-mailed me at all since I started this thread. I think Homyrrh is my uncle.


Maybe they're on the same mailing list.

[Homyrrh]

My uncle hasn't e-mailed me at all since I started this thread. I think Homyrrh is my uncle.
Actually...
The University of Idaho is in Moscow, so it's funny because they are communists trying to hide their misdeeds against the soldiers.
Alright, I rescind my prior comment. You've officially refuted any return jest I oculd have, heh.
Fuck anyone who questions the patriotism of someone who dares speak ill of America. Fuck anyone who blindly believes that America is always in the right. Fuck anyone who equates national pride with believing whatever the president and military do is right.
That's bullshit, and you know it. In this country, many blindly hold our service members to this high standard. They are military, it doesn't mean everyone should have theirs cocks down their throat. Yes, it is a very honorable profession, but they make mistakes just like everyone else. They are not better just because of the uniform they wear. What makes a man (or woman) is not the line of work they choose, but the choices they make in life. The right wingers have made soldiers the most overrated profession in the country. They aren't a unique and special snowflake, they're no different than you or I just because they are off at war.
Fuck me? Why? Because this nation's government objectively, categorically, obviously does way more harm than it does good? Because we're bad for the world and contribute enormously to global suffering and the literal destruction of the planet? Because overall we put capitalism over democracy, oligarchy over we the people, and convenience over righteousness? Because the vast majority of our people practice willful ignorance and accept manipulation and are therefore largely to blame for the innumerable and terrible sins of our government and people since our nation's founding? Because we wouldn't exist without genocide and wanton theft? Because we wouldn't be a financial superpower without slavery and exploitation? Because we don't practice and never have the ideals our nation is supposedly founded on? Overall, we are not a good country. Certainly it's not all bad, but most of the good comes from the decent people who are decent regardless of their nationality. I seriously dislike this country, hate probably wouldn't be too strong a word, though I see our potential. I have a hard time understanding any good-hearted person with a firm grasp of history and current events who likes America. Fuck me for that?

Or how about I've seen too much to buy into the pretense that me shooting at a guy with darker skin or getting shot at by a guy who speaks a different language in a far off land will somehow keep my countrymen safer? Because I believe human life has an intrinsic value and it is despicable to assume one has the right to take that life, I'm an asshole? Because I don't think a uniform makes someone my enemy? Because I see people as human beings, not as Krauts, Nips, Gooks, and Sand Niggers I deserve derision? Because I think the Sermon on The Mount is right on, I should go fuck myself? It's pretty easy to be a citizen of this country, certainly compared with living in the majority of the rest of the world. There's a relatively high standard of living that has come with all the money we've accumulated. That doesn't make us a great country and the fact that by chance I was born here instead of somewhere else doesn't instill me with pride. What next, if I don't support my local sports team I'm a douchebag?

That's the level of "national pride" you're talking about anyway. "Woohoo, Go America! We're #1! Fuck your country! If you don't like it, shut up and get out!" is no different and just as stupid and silly as being a die hard Red Sox fan and hating Yankees fans. That's the pride demonstrated in that hilarious, ridiculous story. Real pride in national identity is shown by holding people responsible for their actions and demanding that the promises set forth when they wrote "We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal..." are finally fulfilled.

Obviously I've either erred in conveying a point (likely in so few words) and obviously it's bee misconstrued, deliberate or otherwise.

To say "I am a patriot because I want to progressively change my nation toward a greater America" is fine, as is "I am a patriot because I wish to let my nation's roots progressively influence it's future." To say "I hate this country..." is criminal, because it follows "that I live in peacefully, rightfully, and historically."

Madsen, no one said America's always in the right, especially given current leadership, but having an agenda to always condemn it is at least as heinous.

Moviefan, no one is overlooking despicable crimes like Abu Ghraib or puppy-over-the-cliff, etc., but for a man or woman to intentfully and unwaveringly defend the very nation you have the right to complain about it is honorable at least. The uniform is no one individual (despite that "Army of One" shit...), but a symbol for that which founded and forged this country--armed defense as last resort (well...maybe not at very present...but you get my point with the Civil and Revolutionary wars).

And Quentin, my initial intrinsic reply would simply be to ask, at risk of honest cliche, why do you live here? You can move to Canada or Mexico. Why not Sudan? Or the Middle East? Or South America? That wouldn't be too bad to live in would it? And guess what? All your new friends will hate America too...

I can understand disgruntlement with a nation that may make such fundamentally poor decisions, but it is the most ludicrous of paradoxes to hate the country in which you have a right to protest...constitutionally in fact. I argue not for current mistakes, but for the fundamental reasons to be content with one's American heritage. Reducing the pride one has in the freedoms and history of his nation to liking the Red Sox (go Bo, btw) is a bit slippery, and neglecting the ultimate, yet widely blemished, mission of progressiveness that America embodies is inane.

[MadsenOMC]

Hom, do you think that many people who were born and live here honestly and truly hate it?

[Homyrrh]

Hom, do you think that many people who were born and live here honestly and truly hate it?
One is too many. Quentin said as much, e.g. I apologize for any illicit conveyance of unnecesary intensity, but I feel the liberal contingencies should be prouder to be American than their rightist counterparts. Much of the former's platform is based off of the civil protest reserved as a right only by the American Constiution. People just hit hard times and forget the first 200+ years.

I enjoy beating each other down over politics anywhere, anyplace, but either side should be able to finish a conversation with, at the least..."Well, that sucks, you know? Piece of shit Bush...too bad about what he's done to the country. I'll do my part to vote Democrat/Republican or be an activist, etc. to change this nation for the better."

Like abortion clinic bombings...irony at it's finest.

[MadsenOMC]

I don't think there is any truth to the idea that liberals love this country less than conservatives. The Republican Party has done an effective PR job, convincing many people that they have a monopoly on patriotism. But that is not reality. Obviously, liberals have different beliefs/philosophies than conservatives, and that includes what constitutes patriotism. It doesn't mean they don't love America just as much. Hell, I lived in China. When I came back here no one loved America more than I did. I love this country, but that doesn't mean I have to think it's perfect. My mom loves me, but she has always been the first person to tell me when I'm being a jerk.

[The Postmaster General]

I can understand disgruntlement with a nation that may make such fundamentally poor decisions, but it is the most ludicrous of paradoxes to hate the country in which you have a right to protest...constitutionally in fact.



Well, actually we have a right to protest, but even that right is being deteriorated and in turn marking one more reason why people resent our government. Like that women's group the Pink Ladies or something - old women getting arrested for being in a no protest zone.

We need to differentiate between hating the country and hating the way it is being run.

As for the right to protest, at the same time, you have to ask, if we shouldn't protest things we disagree with, what exactly is the point of having a right to protest? Do you expect people to rally in front of The White House and shout, "EVERYTHING'S TOO OKAY! STOP BEING SO GREAT! WE DEMAND YOU DO SOMETHING FOUL!!"

All relationships are at the least two-way streaks, and in order to have good citizenship, we need good leadership.

[Homyrrh]

I don't think there is any truth to the idea that liberals love this country less than conservatives. The Republican Party has done an effective PR job, convincing many people that they have a monopoly on patriotism. But that is not reality. Obviously, liberals have different beliefs/philosophies than conservatives, and that includes what constitutes patriotism. It doesn't mean they don't love America just as much. Hell, I lived in China. When I came back here no one loved America more than I did. I love this country, but that doesn't mean I have to think it's perfect. My mom loves me, but she has always been the first person to tell me when I'm being a jerk.
My understanding is that liberals embrace a change-for-the-better philosophy as a manifestation of their patriotism. MY problem is not with this, but with people like Noam Chomsky who dedicate books to the young men who dodge the draft. I have though of the mother-son scenario too, and you always listen to your mom whether you like what she says or no. Why? You love her. You don't like it? Move out. In fact, on a mildy personal level, my ass got kicked out at 16.

So it's one thing to want to change America, but when the nation--as a fundametal symbol for freedom and equality--is designated as this primordially evil entity, it hurts me as an American who realizes there are faults in the practice and application of our democracy and freedom but that these don't justify condemning the USA as a nation.

[Homyrrh]

Well, actually we have a right to protest, but even that right is being deteriorated and in turn marking one more reason why people resent our government. Like that women's group the Pink Ladies or something - old women getting arrested for being in a no protest zone.

We need to differentiate between hating the country and hating the way it is being run.

As for the right to protest, at the same time, you have to ask, if we shouldn't protest things we disagree with, what exactly is the point of having a right to protest? Do you expect people to rally in front of The White House and shout, "EVERYTHING'S TOO OKAY! STOP BEING SO GREAT! WE DEMAND YOU DO SOMETHING FOUL!!"

All relationships are at the least two-way streaks, and in order to have good citizenship, we need good leadership.
Well, peaceful protest is allowed after being organizaed with law enforcement. Wouldn't think picketing on the White House lawn is very practical.

[The Postmaster General]

Well, peaceful protest is allowed after being organizaed with law enforcement. Wouldn't think picketing on the White House lawn is very practical.


Not to the people that the protest is directed at.

Really?

Having the government help organize protests against the government?

I mean, let's apply this to something else. You bought a new car and it turned out to be a lemon. The dealer refuses to make right. You decide to protest against the car lot, but the car lot is in charge of determining and organizing that protest. In turn, they tell you will be arrested and jailed if you protest anywhere besides the back lot next to the car wash.

It's no coincidence that the limiting of our freedom to organize and protest coincides with the increase in the ease of exchanging ideas mainly through the internet. They knew The People were having it easier in being heard, and in the spirit of all governments who want to control the people, they allow for the new exchange of ideas while limited previously established freedoms that have been in place from the get-go.

I'm not sure what I meant by the "spirit of all governments" thing - that was just for the sake of being evocative.

[QUENTIN]

Hom, America is only a symbol of freedom and equality. Just a symbol. That's good PR, not good policy or practice. The historical record shows that the country has never been run to provide its people with freedom or equality. Never. It's not a problem with Bush specifically, it is literally every president throughout history. Our country was founded behind closed doors by monied, landed white men to protect monied, landed white men. They weren't an evil cabal, they were even well-meaning, but they were self-interested. They designed the nation that way, so no surprise how it turned out. Our 200+ years of history you speak favorably of is the history of theft of our land, genocide of its original inhabitants, slavery, exploitation, constant war, turning the guns of the government on law-abiding citizens when they strike or protest peacefully, siding with industry and big business over the people, a fundamental aversion to honesty or open government, developing and then actually using weapons that%

[Homyrrh]

Not to the people that the protest is directed at.

Really?

Having the government help organize protests against the government?

I mean, let's apply this to something else. You bought a new car and it turned out to be a lemon. The dealer refuses to make right. You decide to protest against the car lot, but the car lot is in charge of determining and organizing that protest. In turn, they tell you will be arrested and jailed if you protest anywhere besides the back lot next to the car wash.

It's no coincidence that the limiting of our freedom to organize and protest coincides with the increase in the ease of exchanging ideas mainly through the internet. They knew The People were having it easier in being heard, and in the spirit of all governments who want to control the people, they allow for the new exchange of ideas while limited previously established freedoms that have been in place from the get-go.

I'm not sure what I meant by the "spirit of all governments" thing - that was just for the sake of being evocative.
Protesting...a lemon?

My point was that it's fine to protest at the convention, etc., but the right to "peaceful demonstration" does not include unrestricted protest. This picketing cannot put safety and efficiency--a very relative term--at risk.

[The Postmaster General]

Protesting...a lemon?

My point was that it's fine to protest at the convention, etc., but the right to "peaceful demonstration" does not include unrestricted protest. This picketing cannot put safety and efficiency--a very relative term--at risk.


See, a lemon is a car that is not suitable to be sold. Often times in the past, car lots would be met with protests from customers who were sold inferior merchandise. This would be to warn future customers of the misdeeds of the lot, and also to pressure the car lot to make right. See, a protest doesn't necessarily only pertain to government policy, but by definition a protest is a pubic display intended to influence opinion - in the case of protesting a lemon, influencing the public to believe the car lot is unscrupulous.

And who said anything about the Pink Hat club or whatever being non-peaceful? These women averaged in age of 50 years old. All they were doing was protesting in a non-protest zone. People have protested in front of the white house and on government property since people started protesting in America. This only changed within the past 8 years after our administration decided that they would restrict our ability to protest.

[Brando @$$ Fat]

Hom, America is only a symbol of freedom and equality. Just a symbol. That's good PR, not good policy or practice. The historical record shows that the country has never been run to provide its people with freedom or equality. Never. It's not a problem with Bush specifically, it is literally every president throughout history. Our country was founded behind closed doors by monied, landed white men to protect monied, landed white men. They weren't an evil cabal, they were even well-meaning, but they were self-interested. They designed the nation that way, so no surprise how it turned out. Our 200+ years of history you speak favorably of is the history of theft of our land, genocide of its original inhabitants, slavery, exploitation, constant war, turning the guns of the government on law-abiding citizens when they strike or protest peacefully, siding with industry and big business over the people, a fundamental aversion to honesty or open government, developing and then actually using weapons that%

Pretty much. Bush sort of represents the problem at its peak but it's certainly not new or even surprising. It's very reflective of human nature in general. Too bad the entire world can't collectively decide to get its shit together.

[Brando @$$ Fat]

The honest implication on me is that no one has national pride? While that story was excessively outlandish and rather unnecessary, it is base and altogether despicable to laugh --excessively--at the principle of loving one's country.

Was this story "propaganda"? By definition, eh, yeah whatever. But why should people have to lobby for revitalizing national pride? Right or left, fuck anyone who hates their country or draft dodges or condemns any level of military servitude.

First, let's start with the comment itself, assuming that it's what you were talking about because I got lost in this thread a while back. Michelle Obama never said she disliked her country. She said that for the first time in her adult life she was proud of this country. Just because you love something doesn't mean you have to be proud of it. You can love your heroin addicted son but you don't have to be proud of him. America has a shitload of problems that you can't always overlook with the meaningless, hyperbolic patriotism you'd see through a Fox News lens.

I don't see any problem with draft dodging, either. Just because some people thought Vietnam was too pointless to fight doesn't mean they hate America.

[QUENTIN]

Hom, America is only a symbol of freedom and equality. Just a symbol. That's good PR, not good policy or practice. The historical record shows that the country has never been run to provide its people with freedom or equality. Never. It's not a problem with Bush specifically, it is literally every president throughout history. Our country was founded behind closed doors by monied, landed white men to protect monied, landed white men. They weren't an evil cabal, they were even well-meaning, but they were self-interested. They designed the nation that way, so no surprise how it turned out. Our 200+ years of history you speak favorably of is the history of theft of our land, genocide of its original inhabitants, slavery, exploitation, constant war, turning the guns of the government on law-abiding citizens when they strike or protest peacefully, siding with industry and big business over the people, a fundamental aversion to honesty or open government, developing and then actually using weapons that%

?? Hm, it ate like 75% of my post. Not sure what happened there, I tried to touch on a lot. I'll be back to resume this, I didn't just want to explain America's problems.

[someguy]

The Obama Death List

The following is a partial list of deaths of persons connected to Barack HUSSEIN Obama during his time inside the United States. Read the list and judge for yourself…

SARAH BERKLEY - Author of “The Jihad at the Ballot Box” - a book examining Obama’s relationship with radical Islam. Died in a mysterious car crash in 2003.

RUSSELL MCDOUGAL - Former FBI operative, January 23rd, 2007. McDougal was known to hold sensitive information about meetings Barack Obama had with arms smugglers. His wife was murdered March 2006 after he went public with his initial reports. His father died July 8, 2006 four hours after McDougal presented his findings on the Savage Nation. Suffered administrative retaliation after reporting discussions by jihadist groups concerning Obama to his superiors.

RODRIGO VILLALOPEZ, a television news camera man who shot the footage of Obama describing small town voters as “bitter” and “clinging to their guns during the primary season.

BRIAN GORING - A defense attorney for Obama patron Antoin Rezko during his trial for extortion and bribery. Died of apparent “natural causes.”

MERCEDES HUGLEY, one of Obama’s many white, female conquests while at Harvard. Filed sexual assault charges against Obama for date rape in 1990. Because “date rape” was not considered a crime like it is today, she ended up dropping the charges. Two years later, she was found dead of an apparent cocaine overdose.

TAMIKA HILL - A former secretary for Obama’s office in Chicago was murdered July 6, 2005 at a rib shack in the south side. Hill had spoken off the record with a reporter from the Chicago Sun Times about meetings Obama had with black militants in the city. She was murdered before she could ever be properly interviewed.

HASAD AL SHAREEZ - FBI informant. Reported to his handler in January 2001 that he had a tape about of a person named simply “B. Hussein” meeting with 9/11 hijacker Mohatma Atta in Prague. Was found shot in the basement of a mosque in Dearborn, MI in October, 2001.

DARSANO RAHARDJO - Childhood classmate of Barack Obama when he attended a madrassa in Indonesia. Was found with his head cut off in a Jakarta alley way in 1970. Many children at the school attributed Rahardjo’s murder to the young Barack Obama. It was likely done as an initiation ritual, since Islam demands that a boy spill another’s blood before the age of ten to prove their loyalty to Allah.

REVEREND DAVID MANNING - Former head of the Trinity Baptist Church in Chicago. Was murdered during the apparent robbery of a catfish restaurant in 1972. Shortly afterwards, Rev. Jeremiah Wright took over as head of Trinity and a many parishoners (who later left the church) suspected Wright in having a hand in Reverend Manning’s death. Decades later, Manning’s son JAMAL MANNING was found dead of an apparent crack overdose in 2004. It was rumored he was going to bring evidence of Wright’s complicity in his father’s death. His testimony was timed to coincide with Obama’s first senate race.

CHRISTOPHER HARGROVE, A former lover of Larry Sinclair. Found dead in a hotel room of apparent auto-erotic asphyxiation in January 2001. Was said to have been enraged when he found out that Sinclair had cheated on Jackson with Obama in the back of a limousine. To get revenge, Jackson planned to release digital pictures Sinclair had taken of the encounter on the Internet.

PAUL ROTHCHILD - Democrat National Committee Political Director found dead in a hotel room in Washington DC in 2003. A “friend and trusted advisor” to senatorial candidate Barack Obama. Dead of an apparent suicide.

CURTIS “POOKIE” JACKSON - Chicago drug dealer. Was the subject of a police investigation in which he was suspected of funneling money to Obama’s many various community projects. Killed in 1998 in an apparent gang murder.

HARVEY KENYON - Head of Obama’s senatorial security team in Chicago. Gunned down in his car at a deserted intersection outside of Grant Park in 2005. Kenyon’s son said his father was building a dossier on Obama. He allegedly threatened to reveal this information. After he died the files were mysteriously removed from his house

SHEILA BAUGH - A Washington DC madame. Died from a gunshot wound. Reported to have a black book of people containing names of influential people who visited the prostitutes in her brothel. One of those names was allegedly Barack Obama.

KEYSHAWN “SPOON” CALWORTH - Was found dead of an apparent heroin overdose May 18, 1997. Was reported to have ties to Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

LAWSHAWNA MARTIN- 26 year old mother of five, a Cabrini Green resident with a history of substance abuse. Told two of her co-workers at the Blue Peppermint Gentleman’s Club that she would have to quit work because she was pregnant again. Strongly implied that the “baby daddy” was Barack Obama. The next week, she was reported missing. No body was ever recovered, but Lawshana has not resurfaced since making those remarks.

BILL FERGUSON- Senior aide to Barack Obama. Found dead of an apparent heart attack.

GANDY BAUGH - Attorney for Obama friend Antonin Rezko died by falling out an eightieth story window of the Hancock Tower, January, 2003. His client was a convicted Chinese spy.

[The Postmaster General]

CURTIS “POOKIE” JACKSON - Chicago drug dealer. Was the subject of a police investigation in which he was suspected of funneling money to Obama’s many various community projects. Killed in 1998 in an apparent gang murder.


This is awesomely hilarious.

Obviously Obama had motive to kill him, given the guy was giving money to Obama's projects.

Then, Curtis Jackson is the real name of 50 Cent.

I also think it is relying on people's familiarity with Stan "Tookie" Johnson, the activist former gang-leader who was executed recently.

[countchocula]

I received a doozy this morning.

"Father/Daughter Talk

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and among other liberal ideals, was ery much in favor of higher taxes to
support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, 'How is your friend Audrey doing?' She replied, 'Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over.'

Her wise father asked his daughter,
'Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.'

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired
back, 'That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!'

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, 'Welcome to the Republican party.'

If anyone has a better explanation of the difference between Republican and Democrat I'm all ears."

[The Heart Collector]

"Father/Daughter Talk

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, 'How is your friend Audrey doing?' She replied, 'Audrey is barely getting by. She had an accident last month. The health care bill destroyed her financially. She is working two jobs trying to pay off her bill. Her grades have gone down because of it. Her parents have also been massively affected by the money they had to lend her to pay some of the debt. Besides that, her energy is gone because of how all her effort is going to a hopeless endeavor.'

Her wise father asked his daughter, 'Why don't you go to the bank and you ask the teller to give you 600 dollars from your checking account, the money I gave you for your birthday, which you can then loan to Audrey so that she can cope through this time of need and perhaps be able to work less hours, do better, and make a proper life for herself after this awful setback?'

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, 'That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair? I deserve my money! I was planning on spending it to buy a new HD-TV!'

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, 'Welcome to the Republican party.'

[The Heart Collector]

republicans are great

[Brando @$$ Fat]

RODRIGO VILLALOPEZ, a television news camera man who shot the footage of Obama describing small town voters as “bitter” and “clinging to their guns during the primary season.

How did he die? Dammit, I want to know.

[Homyrrh]

You guys really think this email thing's bad? Try sitting at a church barbecue of white 40-somethings....

'How absurd! They're taking God out of the schools! This nation was FOUNDED on the church! Watch this video! It's the Bible! How could these heathen communists overtake everything! When the ten commandments is taken off of state buildings, so God help us, that's where all the morality's gone! To hell, like the rest of America!"

Funny thing...all that actually gets said at somepoint over the course of a two-hour meal.

[Brando @$$ Fat]

You guys really think this email thing's bad? Try sitting at a church barbecue of white 40-somethings....

'How absurd! They're taking God out of the schools! This nation was FOUNDED on the church! Watch this video! It's the Bible! How could these heathen communists overtake everything! When the ten commandments is taken off of state buildings, so God help us, that's where all the morality's gone! To hell, like the rest of America!"

Funny thing...all that actually gets said at somepoint over the course of a two-hour meal.

That's nothing at all. My uber religious relatives are all convinced that Barack Obama is the devil because their overweight, hairpiece-wearing pastor told them so.

[Homyrrh]

That's nothing at all. My uber religious relatives are all convinced that Barack Obama is the devil because their overweight, hairpiece-wearing pastor told them so.
Actually mine didn't even need a pastor to tell them. "We" are convinced he is a real-world incarnate of the Antichrist, a la Nicolae Carpathia in 'Left Behind'. Came from nowhere, rose from the East...hmm.

[Brando @$$ Fat]

This is of course in direct contradiction to three months ago, when they thought the Antichrist would be the head of the U.N. because of what that Hagee guy said.

[SpoonMan999]

I heard a guy on the radio say a dying priest in Italy told me him, with his last breath, "Beware the OBAMAnation."

That, is absolutely hilarious and one of the many reasons I stopped praticing any religion. Freakin' wierdos...