working title: MY LAST NIGHT

[Narrator]

That the working title of a script I've been working on, for something I'm considering making.

The basic plot is theres this guy Jerry, and hes dying of a brain tumour. He's excpeted he is going to die but there is one thing that he feels like he has to do before he goes, now this will be the subject of the film, what he wants to do before he commits suicide at the end of the night. He is visited by different people to his rented run down motel room....

I've written about twenty minutes worth of script and was just wondering if anyone would consider reading it?

Its in sophocles format, but if you dont have Sophocles I could put it into word format!

[James Logan]

I unfortunately wouldn't have the time to read the script right now (not before a good three weeks) but I just wanted to reply to say I liked the idea. Not fully original, but interesting.
One thing buggs me though -- why does Jerry want to commit suicide? Let the brain tumour take him away, because a lot of people (the audience and readers) would consider suicide as giving up.

[Narrator]

thats ok james thanks 4 expressing an interest none the less

In reply to ur question Jerry just wants to be in control, he doesnt want the tumour to dictate hwne he dies, he wants 2 have some level of control over it, does that make sense?

[James Logan]

It makes a lot of sense and it IS a good reason. In that way, the whole suicide thing works ok with me, although maybe you should have him change his mind in the end, and realize that letting the tumour work its way doesn't make him less in control, just...having less time to be in control. Or something like that. http://www.joblo.com/ubb/smile.gif

[The Lizard King]

Jerry's Day

Controlling Jerry

Bust-a-cap Jerry

[Narrator]

ok this is the first time ive posted a script on here, but i though ti might as well. So this is the first twenty minutes of the tentatively titled MY LAST NIGHT. Your comments and input would be most grateful!


INT. HOTEL ROOM- NIGHT

It's a very basic room, a simple bed lies against the
wall where there is a window that views the entrance of
the hotel. Under the bed is a small ruck sack. There is
a desk in the room and a chair that doesn't look at all
comfortable sat by the desk. On the chair is slumped a
long sleeved black shirt. There is an ashtray on the
desk that has a couple of stubbed out cigarettes in it.
Also on the table is a magazine, it doesn't look like
it has been touched and a vase with a bunch of flowers
in it. On the corner of the table is a phone. There is
a mirror on the wall.

We hear the sound of a toilet been flushed and a door
opens into the sleeping area. Out steps a young man,
about eighteen years old, he doesn't look well; like he
hasn't slept for days, he has rough thin facial hair
like he hasn't shaved for as long as he hasn't slept.
His hair is short and cropped. This is JERRY. He wears
a white vest that hangs loose off his thin frame, a
pair of messy, baggy trousers and he has bandages
around his wrists. He makes his way over to the desk
and sits down on the chair.

He takes a lighter and a packet of cigarettes from his
pocket and lights up a cigarette. He starts smoking
dabbing the cigarette out when appropriate. He checks
his watch every now and again as if through caution.

He drags the chair over to the phone and pulls his
wallet out of his pocket. He flicks through the cards
in the wallet and pulls out what can only be described
as a call card. He dials the number on the card. He
finished dialing and pauses for a few seconds before
slamming the receiver down.

JERRY
Shit

He picks up the receiver again and dials the number. He
pauses a few seconds before once again slamming the
receiver down.

JERRY
Come on don't be a pussy

He picks up the receiver again and dials the number.
This time he doesn't slam the receiver down he lets it
ring out.

VOICE ON PHONE
Hello, Tommy's girl's

JERRY
Oh hello

VOICE ON PHONE
How can we help you?

JERRY
I'd like a girl please

VOICE ON PHONE
Please quote for me the brochure
number of the girl of your choice

Jerry flips the card over and reads the numbers
scrawled in ink on the back.

JERRY
325

VOICE ON PHONE
Ok, how old are you?

JERRY
Twenty

VOICE ON PHONE
Are you a smoker?

JERRY
No I'm not a smoker

VOICE ON PHONE
Do you do drugs?

JERRY
No

VOICE ON PHONE
Are you a heavy drinker?

JERRY
No

VOICE ON PHONE
Do you have any previous convictions?

JERRY
No

VOICE ON PHONE
Ok, thankyou, your chosen girl is
available tonight

JERRY
Good

VOICE ON PHONE
Which package is it that your
interested in?

JERRY
I'm not sure I understand

VOICE ON PHONE
£30 for a blow job, £60 for full sex,
one time only, £100 two hours, £150
for an all night session

Jerry doesn't answer

VOICE ON PHONE
So what's it to be kid?

JERRY
The all night please

VOICE ON PHONE
Where about's are you?

JERRY
The hotel on St Barnabus's road

VOICE ON PHONE
Yeah I know it, what room number?

JERRY
Room eighteen

VOICE ON PHONE
Thankyou

JERRY
How long will she be?

VOICE ON PHONE
About half an hour

JERRY
Ok thankyou.

He hangs up.

JERRY
Right, thirty minutes.

Jerry turns his attention to the bag under the bed. He
pulls the scruffy looking ruck sack from under the bed
and puts it on the desk. He pulls out a large bottle of
vodka and places it on the desk. He then pulls out a
mug and pours himself a drink. He quickly downs it.He
pours himself another drink. He takes only a small sip
before lighting up another cigarette. He picks up the
magazine. It is of a pornographic nature. He flicks
through it while smoking his cigarette and taking
occasional sips of his drink.

He tosses the discarded magazine back to where he
picked it up from. Having finished his drink he pours
himself another one which he quickly downs. Close on
bottle.

FADE TO

The bottle with less drink in it than a second ago.

FADE TO

The bottle with less drink in it than a second ago.

FADE TO

The bottle with less drink in it than a second ago.

ZOOM OUT TO

Jerry still sitting at the desk. The ashtray has a few
more cigarette stubs in it. Jerry smells his breath, it
obviously smells as he recoils. He goes back into his
bag and pulls out a toiletry bag. He goes into the
bathroom.

BATHROOM

He stands over the sink and takes out a toothbrush and
toothpaste. He brushes his teeth.

He brushes his teeth again.

Having finished brushing he takes out his mouthwash and
washes his mouth out.

He takes out a bar of soap and he begins washing his
hands vigorously.

He takes out a bottle of after shave and sprays himself
with it, face and vest. He leaves the bathroom and
brings the black shirt off the chair into the bathroom.
He sprays the shirt with the after shave before putting
it back in his toiletry bag.

He looks at himself in the mirror and he runs his hand
through his thin facial hair. He picks up the bag and
walks out the room into the sleeping area.

MAIN AREA

Jerry puts his toiletry bag back in the ruck sack as
well as the magazine. He puts the ruck sack back under
his bed. He checks his watch, he bites his lip
nervously as he casts a fleeting glance towards the
door. He takes out his cigarettes and his lighter. He
goes to take a cigarette out, but resists. He puts them
in the draw of the desk. Jerry looks towards the vase
of flowers then towards the bed.

He gets up and makes the bed fairly neatly, which you
wouldn't think was possible for someone of his
appearance. He seems to brush something off the sheets
before turning his attention back to the flowers. He
takes out the nicest looking flower and puts it on the
pillow of the bed. He picks up the rest of the vase and
takes it into the bathroom.

BATHROOM

Jerry puts the flowers in the bin and hides the vase in
the shower. He goes back into the main area of the
room.

MAIN AREA

He sits down at the desk again, and once more checks
his watch.

JERRY
You're late

He takes out his wallet and surveys his selection of
condoms. Happy he has a wide enough selection he puts
his wallet away.

He stands up and looks into the mirror.

JERRY
You're late

Changes pose and facial expression

JERRY
You're late

Changes pose and facial expression

JERRY
You're late, now get in the bed bitch!

Changes pose and facial expression.

JERRY
You're late!

His gaze falls on the ashtray. he stand up and picks up
the ashtray.

BATHROOM

Jerry comes into the bathroom and pours the stubs and
ash in the ashtray into the bin. He then puts the
ashtray in the shower. His glance falls on the air
fresher on the side, he sprays the bathroom.

MAIN AREA

Jerry comes into the main area and sprays the air
fresher all around.

He puts the air fresher on the side and once again sits
down at the desk.

CUT TO:

Jerry lying on the bed.

CUT TO:

Jerry stood over the left side of the room.

CUT TO:

Jerry stood over the right side of the room.

CUT TO:

Jerry sat on the floor.

CUT TO:

Jerry leaning against the desk.

CUT TO:

Jerry sat in the chair.

CUT TO:

Jerry checking himself in the mirror.

CUT TO:

Jerry lying on the floor.

There is a knock at the door. Jerry jumps to his feet.
He checks himself in the mirror once more before
glancing towards the door. There is a second more
asserting knock.

Jerry makes his way slowly over to the door. He opens
it.

JERRY
You're late

Standing in the doorway is an attractive girl, she has
long flowing hair, big red lips and a fair amount of
make up. This is LOUISE. She wears a long black coat.

LOUISE
Well aren't you gonna invite me in?

JERRY
Yeah sure sorry, come in

She pushes past him.

LOUISE
You lied

JERRY
What?

LOUISE
On the phone, you said you were a non-
smoker

JERRY
I don't smoke

He finally shuts the door

LOUISE
Why can I smell it in the room then?

JERRY
I dunno...it must be the room

She grabs his hand and sniffs them.

LOUISE
Well the room definitely smells of
smoke

JERRY
That's not my fault

LOUISE
It's your room

JERRY
It hasn't always been though

LOUISE
True

Awkward Silence. Louise goes and sits down on the bed.
Jerry stands not far away from the door.

LOUISE
And you're never twenty

JERRY
So, how old are you?

LOUISE
That doesn't matter

JERRY
Would you like a drink?

LOUISE
No thanks I don't drink while I'm
working

JERRY
Do you mind if I have a drink?

LOUISE
Whatever

JERRY
So what's your name?

He pours the drink spilling it, she notices and
giggles.

JERRY
Sorry I'm a little nervous

LOUISE
Is it you first time?

JERRY
With a hooker?

Very awkward silence, she doesn't know how to respond
but she doesn't seem taken aback.

JERRY
It's not my first time

LOUISE
Ok

Beat

JERRY
I'm sorry about that

LOUISE
About what?

JERRY
Calling you a hooker, it's not a nice
word, I mean what do you prefer to be
called?

LOUISE
Hookers fine

JERRY
Ok

Beat

JERRY
So what's you name?

LOUISE
Louise

JERRY
Is that you real name?

LOUISE
No

JERRY
(smiles)
Ok

LOUISE
So what's your name?

Jerry pauses to think.

JERRY
It's Jerry

LOUISE
I can see you haven't had as much
practice as I have

JERRY
Practice?

LOUISE
At giving a fake name

They share a smile then Jerry necks his drink.

JERRY
Do you want to take off your coat?

LOUISE
Yeah ok

She does so revealing a stunning little dress, very
tarty but it shows off her assets.

JERRY
You look beautiful

LOUISE
You don't have to say things like that

JERRY
Not even if it's true?

LOUISE
Especially if its true

JERRY
Why's that?

LOUISE
Lines like that belong in romantic
films, not here, in real life it just
makes you sound sleazy

JERRY
Ok, well in that case you look bloody
awful!

LOUISE
Thankyou

JERRY
Don't mention it

Beat

LOUISE
I don't know why they make us dress up
nice anyway, we only have to take our
clothes off..

Jerry just smiles at her unsure of what to say.

LOUISE
So shall we get started?

JERRY
Yeah sure if you want to

LOUISE
I need to see some cash before there's
any sex

JERRY
Ok

He goes over to the top draw and pulls out a pile of
twenty pound notes.

LOUISE
Your having the all night package?

JERRY
Yeah that's right

LOUISE
That's one hundred and fifty

JERRY
Ok

Jerry counts out the money so she can see.

JERRY
Twenty, forty, sixty, eighty, hundred,
one twenty, one forty, one sixty

LOUISE
You ten pound over

JERRY
Is it normal to tip?

LOUISE
No

JERRY
Then I don't have any change

LOUISE
Ok

JERRY
Well there you go anyway, he puts the
money down on the desk.

LOUISE
Have you got a rubber?

Jerry nods.

LOUISE
Let's see it

Jerry gets out his assortment of condoms

JERRY
Take your pick

Louise randomly picks one out and puts it down by the
money.

LOUISE
So are you ready?

Jerry nods nervously.

JERRY
So what happens first?

LOUISE
Do you want me to undress?

JERRY
Erm..yeah ok

LOUISE
Ok

She starts to take her top off.

JERRY
Wait

She stops.

LOUISE
What is it?

JERRY
Do you mind if we just talk for a bit
first?

LOUISE
If that's what you want?

JERRY
It is

For the first time he sits down on the bed by her.

LOUISE
So what do you want to talk about?

JERRY
I dunno

Silence.

LOUISE
It's ok to be nervous

She puts her hand on his leg.

LOUISE
I've done this before you know

JERRY
I know but...

His voice trails off as Louise starts to take off her
top again. Jerry doesn't know what to do. The look on
his face suggests he is searching his mind frantically
for something to say but nothing is coming to mind,
until..

JERRY
I've got it

LOUISE
Got what?

JERRY
What's your favourite film?

LOUISE
What?

JERRY
Out of all the films you've seen
what's your favourite?

LOUISE
I don't know

JERRY
Come on, everyone's got a favourite
film

LOUISE
Not me

JERRY
Why not?

LOUISE
Well I haven't seen many films

JERRY
How come?

LOUISE
Because they're fake, they're not
real.
(beat)
I haven't seen a film since I was ten

JERRY
Ok so what was the last film you saw?

LOUISE
Pretty Woman

JERRY
Did you enjoy it?

LOUISE
Yeah, except for the end

JERRY
Why? what's wrong with the end?

LOUISE
It;s not real, that sort of thing
would never happen in real life,
prince charming never comes along, and
even if he does it never works out.

Silence, Jerry realises he has struck a nerve.

JERRY
I'm sorry

LOUISE
Why? It's not your fault

JERRY
It just seemed like the right thing to
say.

Silence again.

JERRY
Can I ask you a question?

LOUISE
You can ask but there's no saying I
will answer

JERRY
Why do you have to do this? Why do you
have to sleep with people for money?

Throughout the following monologue Louise gets more an
more emotional, tears start appearing in her eyes.

LOUISE
My mother died when I was three, I was
brought up in a foster home. I ran
away when I was twelve years old and
started living on the streets. This
was until a woman took me in. She
treated me like her own daughter, for
the first time I felt like I belonged
somewhere. then things changed, she
wanted to be paid for me living with
her and I had no money. So this is how
I pay her...

JERRY
That's awful

LOUISE
Can I have that drink now please?

JERRY
Yeah sure.

He gets up and pours the a drink while she carries on
talking.

LOUISE
A couple of years ago I got pregnant,
she made me have an abortion

JERRY
Who got you pregnant? a customer?

Jerry hands her the drink, she just holds it as she
replies.

LOUISE
No i wasn't on the game then, I was
living with someone, my fiancee

JERRY
What happened? What went wrong?

LOUISE
He was killed in a car accident. A hit
and run, they never caught the killer.
I was homeless again with no money and
I had no one to turn to, except her

JERRY
You've had it pretty rough haven't
you?

LOUISE
Yeah

She downs her drink in one.

JERRY
How many people have you slept with?

LOUISE
Enough

JERRY
How many is enough?

LOUISE
I don't exactly keep count

JERRY
No of course not.

LOUISE
So what's your story?

Jerry pretends not to hear

JERRY
Do you want another drink?

LOUISE
Please

Jerry gets up and pours two drinks, he hands one to her
then takes a seat next to her.

JERRY
Cheers

They touch glasses.

LOUISE
Cheers.

They both take only a sip from their drinks.

LOUISE
Well?

JERRY
What?

LOUISE
What's Jerry's story?

JERRY
You don't wanna hear about me

LOUISE
Yes I do

A mobile phone in Louise's coat starts to ring.

LOUISE
Sorry I'll just get that

She turns to her coat and takes out her mobile. She
answers it.

LOUISE
Hello

MALE PHONE VOICE
Hiya, do you wanna cum round my place?

LOUISE
I can't sorry

MALE PHONE VOICE
Why?

LOUISE
I'm working

MALE PHONE VOICE
Can't you leave early?

LOUISE
Sorry I can't you now what my boss is
like

MALE PHONE VOICE
You could just ask her

LOUISE
I'm sorry

MALE PHONE VOICE
I can't help the fact that I wanna see
you

LOUISE
I wanna see you too, but I've got to
get back to work

MALE PHONE VOICE
I love you

LOUISE
(pause)
I love you too

MALE PHONE VOICE
Bye

LOUISE
Bye.

She hangs up and put the phone away. Jerry doesn't say
anything.

LOUISE
Sorry where were we?

Jerry ignores the question

JERRY
Who was that?

LOUISE
Just a guy I'm seeing

JERRY
Is it serious?

LOUISE
It's going that way

JERRY
Does he know?

LOUISE
What I do?

Jerry nods.

LOUISE
He thinks I work in an office, that
I'm in public relations.

She starts to cry.

JERRY
Hey don't cry

He puts his arm round her and she snuggles up to him.

JERRY
Why haven't you told him?

LOUISE
Because I really like him

JERRY
And he really likes you

Louise nods.

LOUISE
At least I think he does.

JERRY
I think he'd understand.

She's stopped crying.

LOUISE
Thankyou

JERRY
Fancy another drink?

Louise kisses Jerry, he kisses her back, after kissing
for a moment or two they fall back onto the bed.

JERRY
Look there's something you should
probably know...

LOUISE
What?

JERRY
I'm a virgin

LOUISE
I know

JERRY
What do you mean you know?

LOUISE
I just know

JERRY
How?

LOUISE
Trust me a girl like me knows how to
tell

JERRY
Ok

She kisses him again so they continue to kiss. She
starts to take off his shirt and notices the bandages
on his wrists.

LOUISE
Oh my God

Jerry pulls away.

LOUISE
What happened?

JERRY
I did it

LOUISE
Why?

JERRY
Because I want to die

Louise doesn't know how to respond,she doesn't know
what to say, her hand reaches out to him but she
retracts it before he notices.

LOUISE
Why?

JERRY
It's going to happen anyway so I'd
rather have control

LOUISE
You're so young, you have your whole
life ahead of you

JERRY
Yeah if you can live a lifetime in six
months

She looks at him unsure of what to say, not
understanding what he means.

LOUISE
I don't understand

JERRY
Six months to live, that's what they
told me

LOUISE
Why?

JERRY
I have a brain tumor

LOUISE
I'm sorry

JERRY
Why it's not your fault?

LOUISE
It seemed like the right thing to say

JERRY
They share a smile

Silent pause.

LOUISE
Do you want to talk about it?

She pulls him down onto the bed and they lie face to
face.

JERRY
I started getting headaches, really
bad headaches, headaches like you've
never felt before, the sort of pain
that you can't concentrate through
because all you can think about is the
pain, how bad the pain is, how long
the pain has lasted for, no drugs
exist that have the power to numb the
pain so I went to the doctors against
my will.

He has tears in his eyes.

JERRY
The doctor sent me to the hospital who
referred me to a specialist. He gave
me a Cat Scan and two weeks later I
got the call that the results were in.

A tear trickles down his cheek.

JERRY
I sat there in that waiting room in
excruciating pain, telling myself that
it would be ok, that I was gonna be
fine. Then she called my name and I
went into the office. I could tell by
the look on his face that it wasn't
good news. I sat down facing him and
he looked me in the eye and said,
"Son, I'm not gonna lie to you, it's
not good news, I'm not gonna beat
around the bush, I'm gonna tell it to
you straight..you have a malignant
brain tumor do you know what that
means Louise?

LOUISE
No

JERRY
It means they can't operate on it

She touches his face.

LOUISE
That's why you tried to kill yourself?

JERRY
That's why I'm going to kill myself

LOUISE
When?

JERRY
Tonight

She starts crying again.

LOUISE
Why?

JERRY
I don't want my degrading health to
decide when I die

She snuggles up next to him.

JERRY
I need your help, there's one thing I
have to do before I go

LOUISE
Ok

They close their eyes and snuggle down.

FADE OUT