PDA

View Full Version : horror script


the p&j experiance
07-21-2002, 03:53 AM
comments please

TITLE: Max
GENRE: Horror
A little boy returns home from his first day at a new school and he has already made an interesting friend named Max. The little boy begins to tell his mom about the boy and some of the stuff that he tells her is quite disturbing (ex. the mother cuts her finger and the little boy tells her to suck the blood off of her finger, she is grossed out and he says that Max likes the taste of blood) well after about a month, the little boy comes home and is talking about many serial killers that Max has told him about. So she tells her son never to speak to Max again and she goes to the school to find out that Max isn't even enrolled, she goes back home and yells at her little boy (his name is Adam by the way) she tells him that she found out that Max isn't even real, he tells her that he just sits on the playground all day and doesn't go to class. She doesn't believe him and she sends him to his room. Now about a week later the mother's bestfriend is found murdered in the park and soon friends and family begin to go missing or they turn up murdered. Adam comes home from school one day with bruises and cuts all over his body and is traumatized by something and he doesn't speak. Now the mother must unlock the secret behind the murders and who Max is.

Finally the mother tracks down where Max lives, she is told by his drunk father that he isn't there right now. So she begins on her walk home (she doesn't have a car) and is attacked by the boy who ends up killing her. But during the murder he is arrested by a cop and down at the station he confesses to all 6 of the murders, he also tells the police that his father was the famous Brookhouse (the town they live in) Butcher, he says that his dad was murdering people while he was 7 and was actually video taping the murders and showing them to 7 year old Max and he made Max drink liquor and do drugs. So the next day they break into the house of the father, they find murder videos of the father killing people brutally. He is arrested and while viewing the tapes, the very last one shows 9 year old Max actually participating in the murders with a small hatchet. Max is put in a mental ward and the father gets life imprisonment. Forgot to mention that Max also showed Adam the murder tapes and beat the shit out of him, Adam never recovers either.

comments please

RavenBlade
07-21-2002, 04:38 AM
While an interesting premise, P&J,
i wouldn't call it a script, but a plot treatment, of if you will, a plot outline.
It's kinda tragic, and i could envision, what was going on. BRRRRR, boy with hatchet,
makes for some disturbing visuals.

Try writing it in script form.

Good luck.

Ciao

Ezikel
07-21-2002, 05:13 AM
Man, could you be ripping off my Pride and Prejudice idea any more?

The premise is interesting but it ends too quickly. The father being the killer is good but is realised too early. Max actually killing people really kills some suspense, how about he just tries to kill someone? There need to be more twists and turns. What if, at the end, his little son Max turned out to be the Butcher and was manipulating the father. What if Max also turned out to be the leader of some murderous cult? And so on...

the p&j experiance
07-21-2002, 06:39 AM
i dont even know what the hell your Pride and Prejudice idea is anyway. I like that you've critiqued the idea, but I have to say that your ideas would make this unbelievable, because in the movie when the Butcher murders were occuring, the boy was 7 years old. How in the fuck is he going to go and kill anybody (the murder he participates in was when the victim had already been stabbed a few times by his father) And the cult shit? A 14 year old? I like my idea a lot more, it's realistic and more disturbing. Hope I haven't offended you, but I just don't see how your ideas work. And RavenBlade, I guess I fucked up by putting horror script as the title, oh well.

Ezikel
07-21-2002, 10:31 AM
First of all , lighten up. I was just kidding.

Second of all I'm not saying that your idea is bad but your idea kinda ends halfway. You've got maybe 50 minutes of screentime if that. THe son being the reincarnated soul of some medievel murdering priest (thus the fathers devotion and the cult) would be a lot more interesting then some sort of sick Ted Bundy guy who forces his kids to watch him kill people.