Heatherstoner
07-21-2002, 11:21 PM
please keep in mind this is offbeat sorta like airplane...but you know just read it
Heatherstoners
EXT.HEATHERSTONE DEVELOPMENT-SUNNY DAY
Blender walks out of a house and begins to walk down his driveway, opens his mailbox to find nothing there, and starts walking down the street.
As Blender continues to make his way out of the neighborhood kids on their bikes and houses are being shown.
Blender passes two guys fighting on the street and when he passes the two fighting look up and wave happily and then continue to brawl.
Blender finally makes it to the entrance of Heatherstone, which is a hill, and a couple with a baby carriage passes him. As soon as they pass the couple begins to argue about something and don’t notice that their baby carriage has rolled down the hill.
Blender then walks out of the Heatherstone, passing the sign to the entrance as we pan on it for a few seconds. He then starts walking down the street and from a backside he is picking at his butt. After a while of walking down the street it seems that Blender is going out of his way to do something important when he finally arrives at COE Manufacturing.
BLENDER
(Scratches his head and looks completely confused)
Wait a minute…what am I doing here? Ah well…
He then heads for home.
OPENING CREDITS
INT.TRAVIS’S BEDROOM-EARLY MORNING
Travis is asleep on his top bunk in a room strewn with clothes all over the floor and hanging over his bed. His room is messy and contains things a regular teenage boy would have in it.
Travis has the sheets of his bed pulled over his head. He lets out a weak groan as he begins to wake. He pulls off the covers only to notice he has a pair of briefs on his head. Travis pulls them off, sniffs them, and shrugs as if they are usable for the day and begins to get out of bed.
Travis walks down the ladder from his upper bunk and leaves his bedroom, walking towards the kitchen in his boxers. He opens the refrigerator and pulls out a carton of milk from the back.
TRAVIS
Drink by August 1987…
He puts the milk on the counter and opens up the cupboard to pick out a cereal. He takes a small bowl and figures it isn’t enough and finds the biggest bowl in the house to eat his cereal out of. He pours himself his cereal and then he pours a glass of juice.
He sits down at a table to eat his breakfast and read the newspaper. Before he can take his first bite, he glances over at the computer and walks over to turn it on. He walks back to his cereal and situates himself. Yet again, before his first taste, the dog needs to be let outside.
INT.NEAL’S HOUSE-EARLY MORNING
An alarm clock reads 6:59 and turns to 7:00 and the alarm goes off. It continues to go off for some time until Neal opens one eye to observe the commotion. He pulls a bat out and smashes the alarm clock and lies back in bed. On the floor there is piles of pop cans and chip bags and trash and one bottle of oil. Neal unknowingly picks up the oil and drinks it with no problem. He then gets out of bed with his teddy bear.
Neal makes his way to make some breakfast until his dad, who is sitting on the couch drinking coffee, stops him.
DAD
Can you go get the paper?
NEAL
Why can’t you do it?
DAD
You know about my back.
NEAL
Since when does your back hurt?
DAD
Yours is going to hurt in a minute if you don’t get your scrawny hide out there and get the paper for me.
Neal puts on some slippers and walks out to get the paper. He gets the paper and starts walking up the driveway, skimming the front page and notices something. Excitedly he runs into the house, throws the rest of the paper at his dad and takes the front page for himself. He reads it over and runs for the phone.
INT.TRAVIS’S HOUSE
TRAVIS
Lady, listen, you have the wrong number. I don’t sell vibrators…yes all right…bye.
(Hangs up phone)
After he hangs up the phone then rings again
TRAVIS
Lady, go buy your vibrators somewhere else!
NEAL
Travis?
TRAVIS
Neal?
NEAL
Alive and in color.
TRAVIS
Why are you calling me at this ungodly hour?
NEAL
Do you get the paper?
TRAVIS
Yeah, it’s in front of me now, why?
NEAL
Read section C.
TRAVIS
(Gets out section C of the newspaper)
Horse humps elderly lady…so what?
NEAL
No, you anal probe check the front.
TRAVIS
Did you just call me an anal probe?
NEAL
Check the paper already.
TRAVIS
(Takes a sip of juice and then spits it out)
Girls Gone Wild: Senior Citizen Edition comes out today?
NEAL
That’s today? Wait that’s not it read the bottom.
TRAVIS
Oh, I don’t have the bottom part, you know that naked hobo that’s been running around here lately?
NEAL
Yeah.
TRAVIS
Well he must have been eating at my newspaper again. We should call the pound or something. What was it that was so important?
NEAL
Remember that time when we said we should write a movie together?
TRAVIS
No, when was this?
NEAL
It was yesterday.
(Pauses)
Anyway, I was skimming through it and I came across this contest to write a movie. The only problem is that the contest ends in three days and the entry scripts have to be at least fifty pages.
TRAVIS
Fifty pages?
NEAL
Fifty pages in three days so I figure we need to lock ourselves in a room and work endlessly on this if we want to win.
TRAVIS
People will start thinking we’re gay.
NEAL
Who cares what they think once you hear the prize.
TRAVIS
And what’s that?
NEAL
It’s something you win in either a contest or some crappy carnival game.
TRAVIS
(Takes another sip of that juice)
No the prize for winning.
NEAL
It’s something like…ten thousand dollars.
TRAVIS
(Spits out the juice)
Ten thousand dollars?!
NEAL
I almost wet my pants when I read it. Ok…so I did but that’s beside the point. But if we want to win we need to start working on this now.
TRAVIS
Do you have any ideas for a story yet?
NEAL
Not really I’m hoping you might.
TRAVIS
I don’t but we might be able to come up with something together. Meet me at the corner in let’s say an hour ok?
NEAL
I hate that corner. It’s so far away from my house and all you have to do is walk through your yard.
TRAVIS
All you ever do is complain about everything. We’re basically meeting in the middle and how do I know I’m not going to break my leg while walking there?
NEAL
Whatever Travis. We can’t waste time plus my dad probably wants to call one of those 1-800 sex lines so I’ll be there as soon as I can.
(Hangs up phone)
INT.TRAVIS’S HOUSE
Travis hangs up the phone and disgustingly puts down his newspaper, soaking from his spit mixed with juice. He tries to finally eat his cereal until his dog is scratching at the door to be let in.
After letting in the dog Travis gives up on the cereal, leaves the cereal on the counter and goes off to get dressed. The dog jumps up and eats out of the bowl.
INT.NEAL’S HOUSE-LATER
NEAL
(Calling to his dad by the door while putting on his shirt)
Dad, I’m going out.
DAD (O.S.)
You’ve got work to do today. My back is in a lot of pain and my toenails are gonna slice the cat’s head off if you don’t trim these puppies, so be home by two. And take out the garbage.
NEAL
(Shudders at the thought of clippings his dad’s toenails and mutters to himself)
I’m gonna slice your head off if those toenails don’t…
DAD (O.S.)
What was that?
NEAL
(Unable to think of what to say)
Uh…love you dad.
DAD (O.S.)
What are you, some kind of flamer?
Neal picks up the garbage and walks out the door.
INT.TRAVIS’S HOUSE-LATER
Travis digs through piles of clothes in his bedroom and finds some clothes clean to wear. He finds some and walks out the door while we see an arm sticking out of the massive piles of clothes. Travis makes his way through his house to put on his shoes.
TRAVIS
(To his dog)
Bye lard-ass.
Travis walks out the door, looks at his watch, picks up a basketball and shoots it over his shoulder while walking to the corner and it goes in. He walks down to the corner and cracks his knuckles. Oddly enough there is a vending machine at the corner. Travis goes over to get a pop and passes Blender asleep at the corner and stops to talk to him.
TRAVIS
(Kicks Blender to wake him up)
Hey Blender, what are you doing out here on the street?
BLENDER
(Groggily and confused, he looks around)
Wait, this isn’t my house.
(Sees Travis)
Oh, hey Jim.
TRAVIS
Blender, I’m Travis.
BLENDER
(Pulls out his huge glasses)
Oh, sorry man. What are you doing out here so early anyway?
TRAVIS
Waiting for Neal. We’re going to write a script for a contest.
BLENDER
You’re gonna strip for a contest?
TRAVIS
(Pauses and looks at Blender. He walks over to the vending machine)
Want something to drink?
EXT.NEAL’S YARD
NEAL
(Talking to himself)
Maybe I could take the shortcut…I haven’t taken it in a while but it should be easy to remember.
Neal walks into his backyard into his woods to take the shortcut. Once into the woods he falls into a hole and rolls down a hill. He walks into thorns and is tripping on everything in sight. He finally gets out of the woods but before he can catch his breath a dog is chasing him. Neal loses the dog by jumping a fence into someone’s yard, interrupting a girl’s tanning. The girl slaps him and then sprays pepper spray in his eyes.
Heatherstoners
EXT.HEATHERSTONE DEVELOPMENT-SUNNY DAY
Blender walks out of a house and begins to walk down his driveway, opens his mailbox to find nothing there, and starts walking down the street.
As Blender continues to make his way out of the neighborhood kids on their bikes and houses are being shown.
Blender passes two guys fighting on the street and when he passes the two fighting look up and wave happily and then continue to brawl.
Blender finally makes it to the entrance of Heatherstone, which is a hill, and a couple with a baby carriage passes him. As soon as they pass the couple begins to argue about something and don’t notice that their baby carriage has rolled down the hill.
Blender then walks out of the Heatherstone, passing the sign to the entrance as we pan on it for a few seconds. He then starts walking down the street and from a backside he is picking at his butt. After a while of walking down the street it seems that Blender is going out of his way to do something important when he finally arrives at COE Manufacturing.
BLENDER
(Scratches his head and looks completely confused)
Wait a minute…what am I doing here? Ah well…
He then heads for home.
OPENING CREDITS
INT.TRAVIS’S BEDROOM-EARLY MORNING
Travis is asleep on his top bunk in a room strewn with clothes all over the floor and hanging over his bed. His room is messy and contains things a regular teenage boy would have in it.
Travis has the sheets of his bed pulled over his head. He lets out a weak groan as he begins to wake. He pulls off the covers only to notice he has a pair of briefs on his head. Travis pulls them off, sniffs them, and shrugs as if they are usable for the day and begins to get out of bed.
Travis walks down the ladder from his upper bunk and leaves his bedroom, walking towards the kitchen in his boxers. He opens the refrigerator and pulls out a carton of milk from the back.
TRAVIS
Drink by August 1987…
He puts the milk on the counter and opens up the cupboard to pick out a cereal. He takes a small bowl and figures it isn’t enough and finds the biggest bowl in the house to eat his cereal out of. He pours himself his cereal and then he pours a glass of juice.
He sits down at a table to eat his breakfast and read the newspaper. Before he can take his first bite, he glances over at the computer and walks over to turn it on. He walks back to his cereal and situates himself. Yet again, before his first taste, the dog needs to be let outside.
INT.NEAL’S HOUSE-EARLY MORNING
An alarm clock reads 6:59 and turns to 7:00 and the alarm goes off. It continues to go off for some time until Neal opens one eye to observe the commotion. He pulls a bat out and smashes the alarm clock and lies back in bed. On the floor there is piles of pop cans and chip bags and trash and one bottle of oil. Neal unknowingly picks up the oil and drinks it with no problem. He then gets out of bed with his teddy bear.
Neal makes his way to make some breakfast until his dad, who is sitting on the couch drinking coffee, stops him.
DAD
Can you go get the paper?
NEAL
Why can’t you do it?
DAD
You know about my back.
NEAL
Since when does your back hurt?
DAD
Yours is going to hurt in a minute if you don’t get your scrawny hide out there and get the paper for me.
Neal puts on some slippers and walks out to get the paper. He gets the paper and starts walking up the driveway, skimming the front page and notices something. Excitedly he runs into the house, throws the rest of the paper at his dad and takes the front page for himself. He reads it over and runs for the phone.
INT.TRAVIS’S HOUSE
TRAVIS
Lady, listen, you have the wrong number. I don’t sell vibrators…yes all right…bye.
(Hangs up phone)
After he hangs up the phone then rings again
TRAVIS
Lady, go buy your vibrators somewhere else!
NEAL
Travis?
TRAVIS
Neal?
NEAL
Alive and in color.
TRAVIS
Why are you calling me at this ungodly hour?
NEAL
Do you get the paper?
TRAVIS
Yeah, it’s in front of me now, why?
NEAL
Read section C.
TRAVIS
(Gets out section C of the newspaper)
Horse humps elderly lady…so what?
NEAL
No, you anal probe check the front.
TRAVIS
Did you just call me an anal probe?
NEAL
Check the paper already.
TRAVIS
(Takes a sip of juice and then spits it out)
Girls Gone Wild: Senior Citizen Edition comes out today?
NEAL
That’s today? Wait that’s not it read the bottom.
TRAVIS
Oh, I don’t have the bottom part, you know that naked hobo that’s been running around here lately?
NEAL
Yeah.
TRAVIS
Well he must have been eating at my newspaper again. We should call the pound or something. What was it that was so important?
NEAL
Remember that time when we said we should write a movie together?
TRAVIS
No, when was this?
NEAL
It was yesterday.
(Pauses)
Anyway, I was skimming through it and I came across this contest to write a movie. The only problem is that the contest ends in three days and the entry scripts have to be at least fifty pages.
TRAVIS
Fifty pages?
NEAL
Fifty pages in three days so I figure we need to lock ourselves in a room and work endlessly on this if we want to win.
TRAVIS
People will start thinking we’re gay.
NEAL
Who cares what they think once you hear the prize.
TRAVIS
And what’s that?
NEAL
It’s something you win in either a contest or some crappy carnival game.
TRAVIS
(Takes another sip of that juice)
No the prize for winning.
NEAL
It’s something like…ten thousand dollars.
TRAVIS
(Spits out the juice)
Ten thousand dollars?!
NEAL
I almost wet my pants when I read it. Ok…so I did but that’s beside the point. But if we want to win we need to start working on this now.
TRAVIS
Do you have any ideas for a story yet?
NEAL
Not really I’m hoping you might.
TRAVIS
I don’t but we might be able to come up with something together. Meet me at the corner in let’s say an hour ok?
NEAL
I hate that corner. It’s so far away from my house and all you have to do is walk through your yard.
TRAVIS
All you ever do is complain about everything. We’re basically meeting in the middle and how do I know I’m not going to break my leg while walking there?
NEAL
Whatever Travis. We can’t waste time plus my dad probably wants to call one of those 1-800 sex lines so I’ll be there as soon as I can.
(Hangs up phone)
INT.TRAVIS’S HOUSE
Travis hangs up the phone and disgustingly puts down his newspaper, soaking from his spit mixed with juice. He tries to finally eat his cereal until his dog is scratching at the door to be let in.
After letting in the dog Travis gives up on the cereal, leaves the cereal on the counter and goes off to get dressed. The dog jumps up and eats out of the bowl.
INT.NEAL’S HOUSE-LATER
NEAL
(Calling to his dad by the door while putting on his shirt)
Dad, I’m going out.
DAD (O.S.)
You’ve got work to do today. My back is in a lot of pain and my toenails are gonna slice the cat’s head off if you don’t trim these puppies, so be home by two. And take out the garbage.
NEAL
(Shudders at the thought of clippings his dad’s toenails and mutters to himself)
I’m gonna slice your head off if those toenails don’t…
DAD (O.S.)
What was that?
NEAL
(Unable to think of what to say)
Uh…love you dad.
DAD (O.S.)
What are you, some kind of flamer?
Neal picks up the garbage and walks out the door.
INT.TRAVIS’S HOUSE-LATER
Travis digs through piles of clothes in his bedroom and finds some clothes clean to wear. He finds some and walks out the door while we see an arm sticking out of the massive piles of clothes. Travis makes his way through his house to put on his shoes.
TRAVIS
(To his dog)
Bye lard-ass.
Travis walks out the door, looks at his watch, picks up a basketball and shoots it over his shoulder while walking to the corner and it goes in. He walks down to the corner and cracks his knuckles. Oddly enough there is a vending machine at the corner. Travis goes over to get a pop and passes Blender asleep at the corner and stops to talk to him.
TRAVIS
(Kicks Blender to wake him up)
Hey Blender, what are you doing out here on the street?
BLENDER
(Groggily and confused, he looks around)
Wait, this isn’t my house.
(Sees Travis)
Oh, hey Jim.
TRAVIS
Blender, I’m Travis.
BLENDER
(Pulls out his huge glasses)
Oh, sorry man. What are you doing out here so early anyway?
TRAVIS
Waiting for Neal. We’re going to write a script for a contest.
BLENDER
You’re gonna strip for a contest?
TRAVIS
(Pauses and looks at Blender. He walks over to the vending machine)
Want something to drink?
EXT.NEAL’S YARD
NEAL
(Talking to himself)
Maybe I could take the shortcut…I haven’t taken it in a while but it should be easy to remember.
Neal walks into his backyard into his woods to take the shortcut. Once into the woods he falls into a hole and rolls down a hill. He walks into thorns and is tripping on everything in sight. He finally gets out of the woods but before he can catch his breath a dog is chasing him. Neal loses the dog by jumping a fence into someone’s yard, interrupting a girl’s tanning. The girl slaps him and then sprays pepper spray in his eyes.