My Current Script Idea,

[kupix]

Hi,

I am currently working on a script its development name is Winter Impurity, and I have just come here to see what you think and if you have any suggestions. The story starts out with a man walking threw an eerie woodland area walking his dog. They discover a body of a young girl about seventeen years of age. She has been, raped and murdered. The man goes to the police and we find out that there is a serial rapist and murder stalking young girls, in that area. Well from this we follow a young boy (name not decided yet), it is winter and the boy and couple of mates are walking and playing about in the woodlands. They hear screaming and shouting, the boys start to run over to the area where they think they hear it is coming from. They see the rapist in the act, they start to approach him. As they get close he turns around it is the boy’s dad. The boys run off and the other two boys run in another direction home. The man in freight splits off in the opposite direction.
The boy is later discovered by a passer by curled up next to a tree. He is in a mental shock and is frozen out.

Ok this is where I need your help. I have been thinking this over and I am not really shore what I should do.

1.The boy is in shock and the other boys are in someway blackmailing his father.
2.The other boys die on there way home being run over or hit by a vehicle or his father catches up and kills them.

The boy has to go into a metal shock or block so that he is dazed out and cant talk (he is shocked from the event in some kind of way), as this contributes to the ending.

Any help would be gratefully appreciated. Also any other ideas would be much appreciated.

[kupix]

bump!

[kupix]

bump, http://www.joblo.com/ubb/frown.gif it was at the bottom of the list :/

[Tuukka]

I don't understand the question. Do you want me to choose betwen 1 and 2? Then 1 is better. Blackmailing aspect seems much more interesting than the dad just killing the boys.

You should do some research on the shock thing. It kind of sounds unlikely.

[kupix]

Mate it happens,

Have you ever seen a film called Assualt on Presinct 13 or was it 17 (1970's film). Also The Client (John Grisham, Novel).

[Tuukka]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by kupix:
Mate it happens,

Have you ever seen a film called Assualt on Presinct 13 or was it 17 (1970's film). Also The Client (John Grisham, Novel).</font>

I know that it happens, but you have to know PRECISELY how and why it happens. Otherwise the audience won't buy it. When you are using unconventional and unusual plot devices, you have to put some extra effort to make them believable.

[kupix]

Ok,

Thanks for the advance ill go and read about it on the net and hopefully ill have something for you people to read in the next couple of weeks

[PhantomRhyter]

kupix,

Actually, I'd suggest going with number 1. It make your story more interesting, and it would be an interesting (and probably factual commentray on todays' people-- and youth-- that the boys who witnessed the crime would be more interested in blackmail, than in reporting it like things used to be).

Anyway, good luck with your script, and don't take Tuukka's criticism too hard he was just trying to help. Actually here in America we've seen so much stuff like this that American audiences would probably buy it right off with no problem or great explanation. However, I think Tuukka's advice is good and I would go ahead and do the research into it. You'll probably have scenes where doctors are talking about the boys condition anyway, so you'll want to have the terminology down right.

Chills,
PhantomRhyter