I hate my family...

[countchocula]

I was talking to my insane religious relatives over the weekend, and I just had to share a few pearls of wisdom that they imparted to me.

On torture...

"Look, we have to be nastier than they are." NOTE: This person voted for McCain, one of the few Republicans against torture.

On gay marriage...

"I can't imagine finding a man attractive." - My uncle.

On Fox News...

"It's the only news network that does any research."

I have no further comments.

[Cop No. 633]

I'm sorry to hear that. I have religious relatives but they are actually very cool about issues in politics. They couldn't care less about gay marriage because it doesn't affect them in any way. They do believe homosexuality is a sin, but they don't go out of their way to talk shit to people and vote for restrictive laws.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being religious, but when it taints how you treat people in the way that it does with many Americans (and people around the world), it becomes incredibly disheartening. Especially when you hear Christians saying immigrants need to get thrown in jail and given the boot. Or like you pointed out, "We have to be nastier..." I heard people in school who were religious say we should nuke Iran.

I'm sure that's what Jesus was preaching about all those years ago. I think a lot of people misinterpreted Jesus when he said, "I come not to bring peace, but to bring a sword." I don't think he had this in mind: http://vbforums.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=37791

Meeting people like this is like meeting somebody who says they're Buddhist and they drive an H3 Hummer and have a huge masion. It just doesn't compute logically.

[Brando @$$ Fat]

Haha, Fox News is the only one that does research. Meanwhile, at CNN Headquarters...

"Hey, should we go ahead and print that story? Or should we get one of those reporters we pay money to investigate for us?"

"Oh, just go ahead and release the story. We can just guess what's going on in the world."

[Vong]

"I can't imagine finding a man attractive." - My uncle.

I don't blame him...guys are ugly as fuck compared to women. In fact, I don't blame some women for being lesbians. ;)

As for religious relatives, I have very few hardcore Bible-thumping relatives and those who are don't care one way or the other about many of the religious issues that dominate our society (ie. abortion, same-sex marriage, etc.). In fact, my grandparents, who are devotely Roman Catholic and live their lives through their church and faith, are some of the most liberal people I know. They are the model Catholics that I think every Christ-lover should become.

[Mopar Fanatic]

The feelings mutual, I hate your family as well

[Pentangeli]

Countchocula, we should swap families :D. I'm not keen on my family either, but for a different reason, they're too damn liberal. I'm one of the few "conservative" minded people in a bleeding-hearts liberal family.

[The Postmaster General]

My wife and I characterize ourselves as being pretty liberal, but her parent's make us feel really conservative, and mine makes us feel really liberal. We are either feeling like Archie and Edith or Mike and Gloria depending on where we are for Thanksgiving.

[Reigh Kaufman]

My dad is a former psychiatic nurse, ex-paramedic, pot-smoking singer in a fairly successful local rock band who do charity gigs with Nazareth - ask your dad - and my mum is in senior management for the Social Work department.

They don't give a fuck who people are, what they smoke, who they prefer sexually, what skin colour a person is, the God they believe in. They just want everyone to get on.

I am a liberal through and through thanks to my parents. I had to rebel by not smoking hash, which is still a bone of contention at family parties.

I am, however, very intolerant of ignorance and stupidity.

But you guys knew that already.

If it makes you feel better, count, I am literally being forced to marry in a Catholic church as my fiancee's parents would not attend unless I consented...

And I have to take a Catholic questionnaire which is 160 questions long?!

What the fuck? Is the Pope really interested in my views on homosexuality?

Tell him I don't care. Never have. Don't charge me £50 for the privelege of revealing that.

Sorry, went on a personal rant there. Anyway, yeah, older generations are difficult to argue with. They believed in something so much that, when society changed, they found it difficult to accept/move on.

Still, we are probably just as prejudiced for ignoring their beliefs.

[countchocula]

Hey, I know who Nazareth is. I'm Count fuckin' Chocula.

I want your parents. Well, I'll keep my mom, but I'd like to have your father. We can be half-brothers! Man, I'm already halfway envious of you.

Bastard, always showing me up at get-togethers!

[Reigh Kaufman]

Hey, I know who Nazareth is. I'm Count fuckin' Chocula.

I want your parents. Well, I'll keep my mom, but I'd like to have your father. We can be half-brothers! Man, I'm already halfway envious of you.

Bastard, always showing me up at get-togethers!

Hey!

My dad's band just played three sold out gigs at the Carnegie Hall in Dunfermline (the original - not the grand New York version) and the surviving members of Nazareth (though Dan could not make it; and Sweet died a few years ago) guest-starred.

They have a DVD coming out of the gig. If someone can tell me how to do it, I'll download my dad's band doing This Flight Tonight live for you guys. He does lead vocals, but the Nazareth boys (along with Steve Agnew, Pete's son - an awesome performer) back him up.

I'll also put it on YouTube when the DVD is finished.

FYI: Dan McCafferty has the masters of Guns & Roses 'Appetite for Destruction'. He claims he is keeping them as a "nest egg".

If any lawyers are reading this, I am completely lying.

(But not really).

[Potter82]

I was talking to my insane religious relatives over the weekend, and I just had to share a few pearls of wisdom that they imparted to me.

On torture...

"Look, we have to be nastier than they are." NOTE: This person voted for McCain, one of the few Republicans against torture.

On gay marriage...

"I can't imagine finding a man attractive." - My uncle.

On Fox News...

"It's the only news network that does any research."

I have no further comments.

That's really unfortunate. I honestly couldn't hold my tongue in those situations, relatives or not. I mean everything single one of those statements could easily be shot down and refuted.

In my own case, I'm pretty sure some of my relatives are conservatives - my uncle is a gun-loving, homophobic accountant & my grandparents are devout Catholics who have actually part-taken in anti-abortion rallies. However, the subject of politics never comes up - thankfully - & I have a good relationship with all of them (I think we're all smart enough to keep our opinions to ourselves when in each other's company).

A friend of mine however, who is an actual member of the Liberal Party from Alberta (he often jokes he's the only one - Alberta is essentially Canada's red state for you American schmoes) has actually had major falling outs with members of his extended family over politics.

While that may sound sort of petty, I can understand this. I have no problem with friends/family who disagree with me on matters of politics but what I can not stand is hearing ignorant comments or comments which are personal in nature. For instance, if a family member said "Fox News is the truth", I would say "Why do you think that? are they not part of the mainstream media? are they not biased as well?, etc." or if they said "all Liberals are immoral degenerates", as a left leaning person, I couldn't just bite my tongue - I would say something along the lines of "well then I'm an immoral degenerate, is there anyone around here I can eat?"

By the way, as an aside, my brother recently had to go to Dallas on a work related trip and his instructor said, and I quote "I'm not a Republican, I'm not a Democrat - I'm a Christian, I follow the Lord" (shortly there after he told them they should stop watching the "mainstream media", instead they should watch Fox News b/c they speak the truth!) *facepalm engaged

[Potter82]

FYI: Dan McCafferty has the masters of Guns & Roses 'Appetite for Destruction'. He claims he is keeping them as a "nest egg".

If any lawyers are reading this, I am completely lying.

(But not really).

Well I recently finished law school and even though I won't be a lawyer until after I finish articilng for 10 months & write the bar exam, I think I can safely say that any lawyer reading this wouldn't care so I wouldn't worry.

As they said on the first day of law school, you should only care about the law when you're getting paid for it! (not really but they might as well have)

[Homyrrh]

This thread has sure assume an intriguing progression...

[stefanb]

If it makes you feel better, count, I am literally being forced to marry in a Catholic church as my fiancee's parents would not attend unless I consented...

And I have to take a Catholic questionnaire which is 160 questions long?!

What the fuck? Is the Pope really interested in my views on homosexuality?

Let's pretend, for just a few moments, that The Vatican was Wal-Mart. I know it sounds stupid, but come with me...

In this Bizzar-o world:

Wal-Mart doesn't allow female store managers. In fact, female employees must all take a vow of poverty to work there.

Wal-Mart's roll of non-involvement in Hitler's "final solution"... well, maybe that was a mistake.

Flying swastika's from every store in Germany? We'll we admit that was a bit of a policy blunder.

Wal-Mart's roll in the crusades... I'm sure they'd do that differently if it were now.

Wal-Mart's roll in the Spanish Inquisition... They'd make a few adjustments to the policy before it trying again.

Wal-Mart's policy of openly discrminating against customers based on sexual orientation... actually, they're still quite fond of that policy at the moment.

a Wal-Mart store manager gets caught raping a customers' child in the day-care? No problem! Get him to manage a Wal-Mart in another part of the country... move him around a few times if accusations keep comming up.

Wal-Mart's multi-century opinion that babies who die before having a bit of water dabbled on their forehead will be barred from entry into heaven (a rather cruel thing to tell parents, regardless of the fact heaven is a mythical place)... Well, to be fair, they changed that policy, and now they're ready to go back and be infallible all over again.

* * *

I think it's safe to say that if Sam Walton had acted like the pope, when he died, their wouldn't be 10,000 mourners gathered in St. Peter's square... There might be 10,000 people in gathered in Arkansas, demanding his head be removed and put on a stick.

I actually envy that you get to fill in a 160 question long questionnaire. Mail it to me... I'll not only have a fucking blast with it, I'm sure you'll no longer be "forced" to get married there, as they won't let you in the door on your wedding day with my answers on the page.

Of course, it's not hard to see the problems that arise when you take your moral queues from the serial rapists of children.

Cheers,
Stefan.

[Elgyn]

On Fox News...

"It's the only news network that does any research."

.


lol.......

Just....lol.