If your little shits can't even sit through the 1st trailer why did you bring them

[sirdizzy]

I saw Land of the Lost on Saturday, a very mediocre movie but what ruined it for me even more was the people sitting right behind me.

It was a couple they had 3 or 4 children (I am sure on three because I could hear the two little shits throughout the movie and they had a baby in a stroller) and even before the first trailer was over the two bastard children would not stop whining, complaining, making noise, talking, screaming, crying, asking questions in a yell, laughing and making utter jackasses out of their parents who could not control them one iota.

This is the very first trailer and the mom tried to console them with the Dinosaurs will be on the screen soon. What the hell is wrong with you, that was your selling point to get your asshole children to come to the movie :hey there is going to be dinosaurs" when A the kids never shut the fuck up and B unless you are a complete moron you should realize you want see dinosaurs tell quite away into the movie.

This didn't console their children who never shut up during the movie and the parents had to take turns removing one child to the lobby 25 times during the movie.

I mean is this how you wanted to see the movie instead of getting a babysitter constantly walking one of your bastard children to the lobby screaming at the top of their lungs.

I mean neither you nor the children got to see the movie (well the fucking little shits never wanted to see the movie they made that abundantly clear) and yet you dragged them to it so you could ruin the movie for everyone else there, what the hell is wrong with you.

GET A FUCKING BABYSITTER!!!

Child tickets for 2 children- $11
Two child size combos (yes they had popcorn because I heard it a dozen damn times during the course of the movie) - $8

so you are easily almost $20 in how much more could a babysitter have cost you then you could have watched the movie and everyone else could have enjoyed it too, inconsiderate pricks.

[The Postmaster General]

I took my 3 year old to see Star Trek, but am reluctant to take him to Land of the Lost, because it seems more stimulating for a kid (if that makes sense). The intense stuff in Star Trek, a kid isn't going to relate to as much. I'm sure we'll check it out on video, but I'm of the mindset that I don't want to ruin my kids chances to enjoy movies made for kids. Those "older" films will still be there when they can appreciate them better. Star Trek was a fluke thing for us, and my kid knows how to behave in a theater. If he doesn't, sorry, I'm going to miss the movie and eat the loss. I had to sit through plenty of movies I didn't want to see, just for the purpose of teaching him proper etiquette. I deserved to see something for me, and hell, my kid's a freak, his favorite part of the movie was the Romulans, or as he says "The bad guys!" Between that, him arguing with me that Darth Vader is a good guy, his tendency to laugh at monsters on TV, his really liking the new MGMT "Kids" video because "the baby is scared of those monsters!" and him getting into hospital emergencies in House M.D. ... I might have a satan spawn, but at least a well mannered, Deniro-in-Angel-Heart version, right!? :)

That said, a kid in a stroller shouldn't be at the movie... then again, I've seen so many jackass parents with kids who shouldn't be in strollers, so it's hard to say.

Ultimately, you can look at myJoblo blog where I list movies I've seen in the theater. There's a really fucking good reason why I went from seeing an average of maybe 12 movies a year, and in one year only saw maybe 4, then 6 the next year, then the next year, pretty much just kids movies.

Parents are way too fucking selfish nowadays. People rant about people texting in the movies, but to me that's nothing compared to these parents who should be supervising their kids but have their faces in a cell phone screen for 30 minutes.

I'll say it again. Parents are way too fucking selfish nowadays.

[Bahs]

i know what you mean, i had this problem when i saw Up. i was sitting right behind some kids and every fucking second they have to shout out loud some question about the movie. the parents were trying to hush them up though and finally the father took one of them out for a bit, after he came back in he was quiet. so props to that.

when i have kids ever, if they misbehave in a movie theater i just wouldnt take them to the next movie as punishment and tell them they have wait for that movie to come out on DVD/ Blu Ray. then after they whine about that i would take them to another movie and see if they learned their lesson, if not: repeat punishment.
its really not that hard to keep some kids quiet.

[BadCoverVersion]

I have a t-shirt I used to wear when I was pregnant...

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=626184&l=a128226d6b&id=601157446

I'm ready to pop there...that's why I'm the size of a small zeppelin and red as all hell.

My son is 16 months old and I'm only just considering taking him to a Parent and Child showing on a Saturday morning. I still think he's a little too young...but his attention span is relatively good and I'm thinking we could follow it with Saturday Storytime at the nearby book store. If he gets bored or fidgety or upset...then we leave, simple as that.

It's just a thought though...I won't be taking him to any regular showings until he's at least 3 or 4 years old and has at least some understanding of how to behave in different social situations.

The parents are deserving of the name-calling...bastards, shits etc. The kids are just taken along for the ride.

[Staying Frosty]

saw Superbad one summer in the plex... family next to us (mind you, we were sitting in the expensive seats, 20 bucks a pop) had 5 kids, ranging from 12, to 18 months..... the 18 month old girl was running around the isle and over seats... I had enough and told them that I paid decent money, and they needed to get their children under control. This trailer trash family, wearing old 80s band shirts, just ignored me... my fiance then told me that there were signs in the front saying no kids under 8 are allowed into R films, no matter even if they are with their parents, so she got up, told an usher, he went up to the family, turns out they snuck in.....

[RustyRazor]

I saw Land of the Lost on Saturday, a very mediocre movie but what ruined it for me even more was the people sitting right behind me.

It was a couple they had 3 or 4 children (I am sure on three because I could hear the two little shits throughout the movie and they had a baby in a stroller) and even before the first trailer was over the two bastard children would not stop whining, complaining, making noise, talking, screaming, crying, asking questions in a yell, laughing and making utter jackasses out of their parents who could not control them one iota.

This is the very first trailer and the mom tried to console them with the Dinosaurs will be on the screen soon. What the hell is wrong with you, that was your selling point to get your asshole children to come to the movie :hey there is going to be dinosaurs" when A the kids never shut the fuck up and B unless you are a complete moron you should realize you want see dinosaurs tell quite away into the movie.

This didn't console their children who never shut up during the movie and the parents had to take turns removing one child to the lobby 25 times during the movie.

I mean is this how you wanted to see the movie instead of getting a babysitter constantly walking one of your bastard children to the lobby screaming at the top of their lungs.

I mean neither you nor the children got to see the movie (well the fucking little shits never wanted to see the movie they made that abundantly clear) and yet you dragged them to it so you could ruin the movie for everyone else there, what the hell is wrong with you.

GET A FUCKING BABYSITTER!!!

Child tickets for 2 children- $11
Two child size combos (yes they had popcorn because I heard it a dozen damn times during the course of the movie) - $8

so you are easily almost $20 in how much more could a babysitter have cost you then you could have watched the movie and everyone else could have enjoyed it too, inconsiderate pricks.


I feel your pain, Dizz.
Half the time, I think these kids converse with each other online to see what theater I'm going to so they'll meet me there.

I can understand the plight of the parent that can't get someone to watch their little b...bundle of joy so they can go see a movie BUT at the same time, it should be the parent realizing "I don't think Lil' Scream Box will sit through a 90 minute viewing of a movie, seeing as how he screamed the entire way TO the theater, in the lobby and in the bathroom before we even got to the theater".

If you know your kid can't sit still / quiet for that length of time, I think you have a responsibility to your fellow movie goers to seek out those "kid friendly" theaters where parents can take their screaming kids to yell at their hearts content.

Otherwise, you know what's gonna happen when the lights go down.
And you're not going to do a damn thing to stop it.
And THAT is wrong.

[The Postmaster General]

BCV - that shirt is awesome on so many levels... well, at least 2. I'd go for one in an instance. Where did you get it?

Bahs - I think a lot of what helped me was we practiced at home, and then after, we did what BadCoverVersion is saying and took him only to family-type environments. I don't mean kids movies, but in our case, it was a "brew pub" type place where they served dinner and there were kids running around - I encouraged my kid to still try and remain still.

What you say in your story though, reminds me of a peeve, and that's parents actually trying to hush the kids, since that's just as annoying. Or even worse, them repeating their names, blahwhablah! "Conor!" blahwhablah! "Conor!" blahwhablah! "Conor!"

Speaking of parents being the problem, this goes on kind of longish, so you may or may not just want to skip it...

We went to the zoo the other day and afterwards, since it was lunchtime, and had been raining out, making us tell our tyke he couldn't go on the play areas at the park (where some parents had their kids running amok in the mud, slipping off the wet slides, and climbing on wet plastic, plus the play area a good mile into the middle of the zoo...) -- I suggested we stop off at McDonald's because the one in the area we were in had a massive play area that rivals something out of American Gladiators.

We get there, and the place is packed. It's a nicer area of town (hence the nicer McD's) and our car is literally the oldest one in the parking lot (but this is another rant about people who have more than they deserve) and we go in. Well, the play area is a madhouse, so we decide to keep our kid's head straight and eat our apples and nuggets in the main area.

When we get into the play area, among some of the nonsense, a young woman no older than 23 is there with what's obviously her 5 kids (she was def. not a nanny, as she was breast feeding a baby...) --- This lady had went to Kentucky Fried Chicken and A&W, then brought her food into McDonalds so her kids could run wild. Okay, I wouldn't have noticed that if the oldest kid, maybe 9, hadn't started throwing a temper tantrum prompting her to start screaming at the kid, her breast whopping the baby in the ear) and yelling, "Fine! We're leaving!" The kid picks up his shoe and hurls it at her. She dodges and it lands at a table behind her where people are eating. Those people politely and pensively hand the shoe back.

Then the kid gets on the middle of the floor and drops face first, banging fists into the ground. The woman is still yelling. "We're leaving!" (I'm anticipating this...) Well, things quiet down, and long story made shorter, 15 minutes later, the kid is playing in the play zone.

Next, we have the woman with her face stuck in her cell phone the whole time. She's there with these two kids that couldn't be younger than 11 or 12, which bothers me, because when I was that age, the McDonalds play are was the last thing on my mind, and I was on to better ventures, but still, the rules are kids 3 - 12, though I generally assume that means kids aged 3 - 8, and disabled kids aged 9 - 12, but anyway...

The two giant kids are standing above the slide and batting little kids on the head as they come out. I don't notice this until my kid runs over and tell me what happen. My reaction is to tell my kid "I don't care what those kids are doing, you need to tell them to stop or avoid them. --- Well, eventually I realize what's going on, and I step over and say to the kids, "Hey, that's not cool." I look over at cell phone momma who, still looking at her phone but obviously paying attention, is laughing. Yeah, really funny lady, I just parented your kids.

[poopontheshoes7]

Bubba, you sure can tell a good story. I especially liked the baby getting "whopped" in the head with it's mothers tit. Good stuff:D

[BadCoverVersion]

BCV - that shirt is awesome on so many levels... well, at least 2. I'd go for one in an instance. Where did you get it?

Bahs - I think a lot of what helped me was we practiced at home, and then after, we did what BadCoverVersion is saying and took him only to family-type environments. I don't mean kids movies, but in our case, it was a "brew pub" type place where they served dinner and there were kids running around - I encouraged my kid to still try and remain still.

What you say in your story though, reminds me of a peeve, and that's parents actually trying to hush the kids, since that's just as annoying. Or even worse, them repeating their names, blahwhablah! "Conor!" blahwhablah! "Conor!" blahwhablah! "Conor!"

Speaking of parents being the problem, this goes on kind of longish, so you may or may not just want to skip it...

We went to the zoo the other day and afterwards, since it was lunchtime, and had been raining out, making us tell our tyke he couldn't go on the play areas at the park (where some parents had their kids running amok in the mud, slipping off the wet slides, and climbing on wet plastic, plus the play area a good mile into the middle of the zoo...) -- I suggested we stop off at McDonald's because the one in the area we were in had a massive play area that rivals something out of American Gladiators.

We get there, and the place is packed. It's a nicer area of town (hence the nicer McD's) and our car is literally the oldest one in the parking lot (but this is another rant about people who have more than they deserve) and we go in. Well, the play area is a madhouse, so we decide to keep our kid's head straight and eat our apples and nuggets in the main area.

When we get into the play area, among some of the nonsense, a young woman no older than 23 is there with what's obviously her 5 kids (she was def. not a nanny, as she was breast feeding a baby...) --- This lady had went to Kentucky Fried Chicken and A&W, then brought her food into McDonalds so her kids could run wild. Okay, I wouldn't have noticed that if the oldest kid, maybe 9, hadn't started throwing a temper tantrum prompting her to start screaming at the kid, her breast whopping the baby in the ear) and yelling, "Fine! We're leaving!" The kid picks up his shoe and hurls it at her. She dodges and it lands at a table behind her where people are eating. Those people politely and pensively hand the shoe back.

Then the kid gets on the middle of the floor and drops face first, banging fists into the ground. The woman is still yelling. "We're leaving!" (I'm anticipating this...) Well, things quiet down, and long story made shorter, 15 minutes later, the kid is playing in the play zone.

Next, we have the woman with her face stuck in her cell phone the whole time. She's there with these two kids that couldn't be younger than 11 or 12, which bothers me, because when I was that age, the McDonalds play are was the last thing on my mind, and I was on to better ventures, but still, the rules are kids 3 - 12, though I generally assume that means kids aged 3 - 8, and disabled kids aged 9 - 12, but anyway...

The two giant kids are standing above the slide and batting little kids on the head as they come out. I don't notice this until my kid runs over and tell me what happen. My reaction is to tell my kid "I don't care what those kids are doing, you need to tell them to stop or avoid them. --- Well, eventually I realize what's going on, and I step over and say to the kids, "Hey, that's not cool." I look over at cell phone momma who, still looking at her phone but obviously paying attention, is laughing. Yeah, really funny lady, I just parented your kids.

Is it me or is every other kid called Conor/Conner/Connor or Jack nowadays? That and Chloe and Ella for the girls.

That's a funny anecdote Bubba...I also liked the part where the breastfeeding child gets a face full 'o' boob. But seriously...who throws a shoe? More to the point what sort of Parent would dodge the effing shoe and let poor ol' Fred Bloggs take the full force of it?

The day my kid starts hurling footwear is the day he starts wearing nothing but lace-up Gladiator sandals and smocks and only frequenting places themed around Ancient Rome.

This might be a somewhat outlandish form of punishment, but I don't think the shoe-throwing phase would last all that long.

Oh and it's an official Jarvis Cocker tour tee...and is actually a line from the song 'Fat Children'.

"Oh, the parents are the problem
Giving birth to maggots without the sense to become flies..."

Nice sentiment eh?

[NathanRomano]

Bubba, you sure can tell a good story. I especially liked the baby getting "whopped" in the head with it's mothers tit. Good stuff:D


I LOVE that you said "it's" mothers tit.

[poopontheshoes7]

I LOVE that you said "it's" mothers tit.

:D Well, Bubba didn't reveal the sex of the child so "it" felt appropriate....and funny to say.

[sirdizzy]

The thing was it was very clear they weren't going to sit quitly during the movie since they couldn't even do so during the very first trailer. At this point you can easily leave and get a refund and come back later when the kids are better behaved or without the kids perferably.

To continue to sit there knowing the kids aren't going to shut up and knowing they are going to ruin the entire movie for everyone else is a prickish asshole selfish thing to do. Get up and leave you tried it failed don't make everyone else pay for your horrible parenting ability,

My first child is due in October and like you Bubba and your child he will have movie going ettiquite taught to him or he won't be going to movies. Our parents took us to movies all the time when we were kids we knew if we acted up that was it we were going home and we weren't going to get to go again. They never had a problem with us, its simple parenting you should not be letting your bastard children ruin the movie for everyone else.

[RustyRazor]

When we get into the play area, among some of the nonsense, a young woman no older than 23 is there with what's obviously her 5 kids (she was def. not a nanny, as she was breast feeding a baby...) --- This lady had went to Kentucky Fried Chicken and A&W, then brought her food into McDonalds so her kids could run wild. Okay, I wouldn't have noticed that if the oldest kid, maybe 9, hadn't started throwing a temper tantrum prompting her to start screaming at the kid, her breast whopping the baby in the ear) and yelling, "Fine! We're leaving!" The kid picks up his shoe and hurls it at her. She dodges and it lands at a table behind her where people are eating. Those people politely and pensively hand the shoe back.

I'm being totally serious.
Bub, have you thought about writing?
You really painted the picture right here.
I actually could see myself at this place, watching this kid flipping out and wanting to punt him into the lion's den.

[corran horn]

A friend of mine had gone to see WATCHMEN, and some truly idiotic parents had brought their 10 year old along while another brought a 7 year old. It gets worse...someone even brought a baby, although the baby was quiet.

My friend was seated in the same row as the 10 year-old, and he got a kick out of seeing the kid's facial expressions during the "Meat Cleaver" scene.

Serves the parents right for doing that. They brought their kid in to see an R-rated movie, and now they will have to deal with the aftermath.

[SteeleDude]

i know what you mean, i had this problem when i saw Up. i was sitting right behind some kids and every fucking second they have to shout out loud some question about the movie. the parents were trying to hush them up though and finally the father took one of them out for a bit, after he came back in he was quiet. so props to that.

when i have kids ever, if they misbehave in a movie theater i just wouldnt take them to the next movie as punishment and tell them they have wait for that movie to come out on DVD/ Blu Ray. then after they whine about that i would take them to another movie and see if they learned their lesson, if not: repeat punishment.
its really not that hard to keep some kids quiet.

I agree loud kids are obnoxious, but kids asking questions loudly during a kids movie seems pretty normal to me. I get worse from high school kids I feel like.

Kids have to be taught how to behave in public. It might take a few failed attempts to get it right, but it's all in how you handle it. My son did well in a movie theater from the get go, though he does sometimes get so wrapped up in a movie that his skittles tip a little and suddenly a bunch fall on the floor. He's four. No big deal.

Now kids crying and screaming should be removed, or if they ask questions every two seconds. I went to see 28 Weeks Later (without my son obviously) and some family brought their two year old who screamed through the whole prologue, though I could barely hear the kid because the movie was so loud. A manager finally came in and had the family leave.

[Philanidas]

Seriously I am so sick of people bringing their kids to movies like, Naughty Nurses 17 or Sexual wars the vagina strikes back. They are rated XXX for a reason and no its not a dos equis brewery:confused:

[unspoken]

I saw one that rivals this recently.

A Tuesday night, 10PM showing of The Hangover. There's a girl there who's got an infant with her (kid was 6 months old at most). Baby proceeded to cry for about half the movie, and of course, sitting by the wall, the few times the mom bothered to bring the kid outside, she had to disturb everyone else by making them move so she could pass by.

Not only is that incredibly rude to the other theatre patrons, but with how loud it was (theatre sound system on quite loud plus a packed theatre of laughing 20-somethings), that is a potential risk to the child's sense of hearing, which is most sensitive at such a young age.

[poopontheshoes7]

I would like to post a miracle.

I went to the midnight screening of Transformers (I dug it. Sue me) and I shit a brick when I saw the WHOLE theater had nothing but teens in it. I kid you not, there didn't seem to be anybody above the age of 21 in the whole theater. I knew it was going to be a bad night ending with me in prison for mass murder.
But....they were fine. Not one jerk making stupid noises or yelling idiotic things. No girls giggling and talking about bullshit, no cell phones, no kicking seats, no throwing popcorn or candy. The only noise in the place was appropriate laughter and cheering. I was genuinly and utterly shocked there wasn't ONE incident of an asshole outbreak.

It was miracle.

[Sgizzy316]

amen brother

[Country1969]

My wife, son and I went to see Transformers 2 when it came out.
I had this father and little girl behind us just chatting away. Every scene they had something to say. It was annoying. I was so close on yelling back to them to shut up. The loud sound finally cut them out. I really hate when kids talk so loud at movies. My 9 year old son, doesnt say a word thru the movies.

[Darin]

Such is the reason I never go to the movies anymore. It's either a dumb f'n kid with ADD, a baby too young to be at the movies, or some dumb biotch on the phone constantly.


Going to the movie theater was something I used to love. Now, I wait for DVD.

[Darin]

I would like to post a miracle.

I went to the midnight screening of Transformers (I dug it. Sue me) and I shit a brick when I saw the WHOLE theater had nothing but teens in it. I kid you not, there didn't seem to be anybody above the age of 21 in the whole theater. I knew it was going to be a bad night ending with me in prison for mass murder.
But....they were fine. Not one jerk making stupid noises or yelling idiotic things. No girls giggling and talking about bullshit, no cell phones, no kicking seats, no throwing popcorn or candy. The only noise in the place was appropriate laughter and cheering. I was genuinly and utterlyu shocked there was ONE incident of an asshole outbreak.

It was miracle.


If you've seen Transformers 2, then you know you it was made specifically for that audience you sat with. KIDS and TEENS. The script was written with that audience in mind. Transformers 2 is a film made for the dumbest of the dumb. No offense, really. I mean the dialogue is so trashy and stupid that anyone can watch it. The two jive talking autobots and the....(THATS ANOTHER RANT) Sorry.

[DaveyJoeG]

I would like to post a miracle.

I went to the midnight screening of Transformers (I dug it. Sue me) and I shit a brick when I saw the WHOLE theater had nothing but teens in it. I kid you not, there didn't seem to be anybody above the age of 21 in the whole theater. I knew it was going to be a bad night ending with me in prison for mass murder.
But....they were fine. Not one jerk making stupid noises or yelling idiotic things. No girls giggling and talking about bullshit, no cell phones, no kicking seats, no throwing popcorn or candy. The only noise in the place was appropriate laughter and cheering. I was genuinly and utterlyu shocked there was ONE incident of an asshole outbreak.

It was miracle.

Great story, kind of uplifting after all of the other horror stories in this thread. It just goes to show you that while age can usually be a good indicator for maturity, there are some exceptions. I've always been a big movie buff and have always had excellent movie behavior because my parents raised me properly. When I was 15 I would dread sharing a movie theater with obnoxious teenagers although I was in no position to speak up about it(I was a small guy). Gradually my tastes shifted and I started to watch a lot of foreign films in the theater, where I was usually the only teenager. Now that I'm 23 I just don't go to the movie theater anymore. I can wait 6 months and watch it in the comfort of my own home. The Dark Knight was the last film I saw in the theater, three times. :D

[53rdand3rd]

It actually seems like it's WORSE now than it used to be when it comes to this issue, and it's hard to believe that being on how frowned upon it's always been. I certainly go to alot of movies where little kids insist on asking questions at full volume the whole time, but I try to not let children bother me. Sure, the parents are idiots, but it's not like I can physically do anything about it.

On the other hand, when I saw Slumdog Millionaire, there were two women (not 20 year olds either, we're talking like, 40's) sitting directly behind our group, and the one woman was, I kid you not, explaining the on screen action to the other woman as if she was a silent film intertitle.

"Now he's doing this..."

"He's...."

And the one woman wasn't doing plot clarification or anything (although that's horrible too, if you don't understand the plot to the point you have to ask someone else what's happening, you shouldn't be in the room), she was simply telling her exactly what was happening on screen as it happened, like a narrator.

I actually stood for 10 minutes of it until I finally had to turn around and tell the woman to please stop talking. She looked at me like I flipped her the bird. They remained quiet for the rest of the picture.