Driving Habits That Grind My Gears

[The Postmaster General]

Okay, I'll make the first negative-ish thread here, and talk about some driving habits I see that I'd rather do without.

To make it a bit more positive, we should also talk about things we might do to curb these things, but let's keep it within the confines of safety here. I don't want to hear any stories about taking out gats.

I'll start off fairly simple here -

Tailgating -- Right, when someone is as close as they can get to you in behind. They won't pass, they won't slow down, they just hang out like they are a trailer and you're pulling them along.

Some things I do in this situation that seem to work:

- If it's a dangerous condition, like on the freeway/interstate in traffic or in bad weather, I'll just throw on my hazard lights if they can pass. No one seems to like driving behind a car with hazards on.

- If it's a residential or small road, I'll just pull off to the side. Sometimes the person behind you thinks there's something in the road or gets confused and will stop in the road. I wave them by, then smile as they pass. Then I usually pull up next to them at the next light. Sometimes I'll wave.

- No one else on the road, it's late, and I feel like being funny. I start weaving like I'm drunk. They WILL pass.

- If on the freeway and interstate and they won't pass and I feel like being funny. I start moving my hand in sort of a downward hooking motion as I point, this is hard to describe but I'm indicating, "GO OVER! GO OVER!" That usually works.



Other things, that I really have no system for, but maybe you do...

People who you move over to let pass, and they slow down, causing you to have to slow down in a slower lane of traffic.

You move over to let someone onto the freeway/interstate from on onramp. They gun it to match your speed and stick right next to you.

Or, you slow down to let someone get on since the right lanes (fast lanes) are clogged, and they won't speed up. Finally you hit the gas so they have room to get in behind you, and they start racing you. It always seems in this situations there are two outcomes - they either end up in front of you and go slower than they were going when they were on the ramp, or they end up behind you, and, yep, tailgate you.

You are at a light, and a car comes up behind you at the light then veers into the passing lane. The light turns red and you don't want to race, but they do. They gun it ahead of you, then cut in front of you to make a turn off from your lane.

Pushing through red lights during heavy traffic, causing the intersection to get clogged and in turn a lot of people going perpendicular end up missing the light as everyone waits for the person to clear out. This is one of those situations where people are reacting to a situation that their type of behavior causes - as in, they are probably pissed because they are missing the light, and so they decide to run it, but the reason they are missing the light is because the last person did the same thing, causing them to miss the light.

Similar to above, situations where the behavior is the cause of the cause of the behavior - failure to let people merge/when there is a merge coming up, gunning it to the front and then the person won't let them merge because they are pissed that they just gunned it ahead like that. Come on people, zipper method - Let one car in, and go. Even if you are a nice guy and merged over before the last minute, don't turn into a dick later and try to teach someone a lesson. Show them how it works. Traffic will flow better because the people behind you won't have to deal with it, and eventually everyone will get that they don't have to be dicks when people realize that it's cool to just let people over. Merge traffic gets stuck when there are a bunch of people gunning out of the lane to pass and get back over, and the reason they are doing that is because traffic is stuck. That, and the combination of people tailgating in merged lanes to keep the mergers from getting over. It's all like people who deal with bad carpet odor by pissing on the floor.


Okay, I hope I'm not opening a can of worms here, but I think driving irritations are pretty common.

[Heisenberg]

Oh I can definitely agree with all of these.

What pisses me off is when you get some little cock trying to be a smart ass by over taking you, underestimating the end of the road and barging back into the cue. Pisses me off.

[jackson13]

The one that bothers me the most, and it happens to me more than anyone I know, is when people pull out in front of me. I'll be bumming down a 2 lane road, doing a good speed (not speeding, but definitely right at the limit) and have no one behind me, and some fuckhead will pull out in front of me and proceed to do like 10-15 below the limit.

WHY THE FUCK CANT THEY WAIT FOR ME TO PASS AND THEN PULL OUT? IF THERE IS NO ONE BEHIND ME THEN THEY ARENT SLOWING ANYONE DOWN!

I keep saying someday that I am going to get some piece of shit truck I dont care about and reinforce the front end on the sonofabitch and just start ramming the people that do it to me right off the road.

[pablo_super1!]

I'm starting driving, well I started and I'm taking my drivers test this Friday, Hopefully I pass.

One thing I hate is when people switch Lanes without SIGNALING!!!!!!!!!! It fucking bugs me so much, whenever someone does it I honk uncontrollaby at them. I mean hell its not very hard to but on your turn signal.

[Tweek]

I don't drive so I'll post some of the public transportation things that grind my gears:


1) People who complain when they have to move from the front seat for a person in a wheelchair. : I don't know what I could possibly tell those people that isn't: "You're an idiot."


2) People who are drunk at 10 AM and sitting next to you shouting in your ear: Did I mention the bus is crowded? What makes you think that I care if you're going to the beach but don't want to stay there? Stop yelling at me! :(


3) Drivers who demand silence: I've come across drivers like this. He stopped the bus and reprimanded someone for tapping his foot. How long he'd been driving, I don't know.

4) Drivers who don't fucking stop: I remember a couple of occasions where the bus will slow down, open the doors part of the way and keep going.:confused:

[The Postmaster General]

Oh I can definitely agree with all of these.

What pisses me off is when you get some little cock trying to be a smart ass by over taking you, underestimating the end of the road and barging back into the cue. Pisses me off.

Oh yeah, speedsters. Don't get me wrong, I drive fast, but I also recognize when I can't drive fast. I mean, in traffic. These you talk about seem to have really bad estimations. They are like the people who play Mario Brothers and can't figure out how to jump across chasms. They never really bother me as much as make me laugh, especially when they go crazy and will fly across 4 lanes into the slow lane where there's a slow moving work truck. I always crack jokes aloud, "Yeah buddy, slow lane! Good idea!" ---

There are cases where they do bug me, and that's when they cut in front of cars ahead and then people have to hit their brakes and you slow down (I'm a fiend for momentum and gas milage.)

Something someone told me at one point that these people don't seem to do, but really helps if you're trying to be speed racer - don't look one or two cars ahead -- look as far ahead as you can see. Get an idea of what all the cars ahead of you are doing and then plan your move. If something changes, reestimate and try again.


The one that bothers me the most, and it happens to me more than anyone I know, is when people pull out in front of me. I'll be bumming down a 2 lane road, doing a good speed (not speeding, but definitely right at the limit) and have no one behind me, and some fuckhead will pull out in front of me and proceed to do like 10-15 below the limit.

WHY THE FUCK CANT THEY WAIT FOR ME TO PASS AND THEN PULL OUT? IF THERE IS NO ONE BEHIND ME THEN THEY ARENT SLOWING ANYONE DOWN!

I keep saying someday that I am going to get some piece of shit truck I dont care about and reinforce the front end on the sonofabitch and just start ramming the people that do it to me right off the road.


Oh yeah buddy, I know, but you know what makes it even worse. When you are going down the road and see these guys ready to pull out, and you are thinking, "Okay, why isn't he going? Okay, why isn't he going? Why isn't he going? He should have gone. Fuck I'll speed up so he has room to get in behind m--- FUCK HE PULLED OUT!"




I thought of another one and it's more of a lesson that explains my peeve, but here it is ---

Sometimes you don't need to hit the brakes, and taking your foot off the gas can do for you what you want to accomplish.

or similarly, the people who just seem to have lead feet and it's slamming on the gas interspersed with slamming on the brakes. Taxi drivers in NYC are notorious for this, but I've found them to be pretty moderate compared to the car service driver we used during our stay. Holy crap man, it was tires spinning out, and squelching to a halt for 45 minutes, along with his cussing into a cell phone. Best $50 ever.

[The Postmaster General]

I'm starting driving, well I started and I'm taking my drivers test this Friday, Hopefully I pass.

One thing I hate is when people switch Lanes without SIGNALING!!!!!!!!!! It fucking bugs me so much, whenever someone does it I honk uncontrollaby at them. I mean hell its not very hard to but on your turn signal.

Oh yeah. I only use signaling as a means to inform other drivers, not because it's the law. If there's no other cars on the road, I generally won't signal, but if I can see a single car, I will (or if it's a known speed trap area, etc...)

What about when you use your signal to get over, and a car sees your signal and guns it to keep you from getting over? This might be a case where sometimes, like I described above, people aren't using their signal because they've been traumatized by people who won't let them over, and the people who won't let them over are... well, they are just dicks.

About signals, when people are driving behind me and they turn their signal on, I usually assume they are going to pass and if I'm speeding, will back off a tad. Even if that isn't the situation, when people are driving behind me with their signals on, and not passing, as in the forgot to turn it off, I'll turn mine on to. You know, join in the fun. I always smile knowing that they are thinking, "Why's this jackass have his signal on and he isn--- Oh." (turns off signal.) --- Not so much a peeve, just something that happens. It's only a peeve if I'm waiting for them to get over so I can do what I need to do.

Not using signals is made much worse when you get cut off from someone not using their signal (I would have let them over) or they do it and tailgate you (I would have sped up to give you room to get over)

I don't drive so I'll post some of the public transportation things that grind my gears

People who keep looking at me on the bus. I'm really not that pretty, and you really aren't that mentally deficient, so stop making this awkward.




What about people who miss their ramp and back up on the freeway, or almost miss it but will come over from 4 lanes to cut across the dust and make it? I sometimes think the later might be European drivers who drive on the left??? It never makes any sense though -- I mean, you knew you had an exit coming up. You know you were in the fast lane. You know there's cars all over the road. Come on, man!

People who pass you like I described in the first post, but then cut back in front of you and DON'T turn but in turn make it where you can't make a right turn at the red light. Usually whenever I see someone behind me and I'm the right lane and they have a right signal on, I'll go over to the left lane so they can make their turn at the light and save them time. I've done this countless times, and only once in the late night/early morning hours in a very bad neighbor hood did someone wave at me out of thanks for this.

Speaking of which --- people not waving when you obviously helped them out. I always honk and flash my lights then when they look back, I wave. A comedian (Carlin?) said he likes to gun it and ram into the back of their car, then when they look back, he waves.

[jackson13]

Another one that gets me is old people driving. Teenagers I dont mind so much because they actually have decent reaction times. Old people dont pay attention to shit and scare the hell out of me.

Couple weeks ago I was going down the main drag in my town, a 4 lane road running north and south with nothing inbetween the north/south lanes except for a double yellow line. Surprisingly there are like no wrecks. But I was headed south, and in the right hand lane, when someone pulled out in front of me (of course) and went really slow. I couldnt immediately get over into the left lane to pass so I had to slow down. As I slowed, whoever it was driving started swerving all over the place, eventually running up and over the curb and slamming back down into the road. I said "alright fuck this" and sped up to pass him, and as I got along side of him he started coming into my lane. I swerved into oncoming traffic (thankfully the left lane going north was empty) and got around him as he swerved back into his lane. As I got past I looked over and it was an old man, I'd say about 80 or so.....AND HE WAS EATING A FUCKING PIZZA.

I dont mean like a slice. He was holding the box of pizza with one hand and eating a slice out of the box with the other. Once I pieced all of this together I got the fuck out of dodge.

80 years old and still driving. And not only that, eating a fucking pizza while doing so......

[Tweek]

Ugh, people who think they can multitask like that when they drive... I nearly got hit by a woman who had been putting on make-up while she was driving. She was around my age.

And what makes people think that it's okay to read a book while you're driving? :mad:

[The Postmaster General]

Another one that gets me is old people driving. Teenagers I dont mind so much because they actually have decent reaction times. Old people dont pay attention to shit and scare the hell out of me.

I don't know man, teenage drivers have a lot less experience on the road and think they will never die. Plus they will react in anger for really ridiculous stuff. I've found bad drivers to not be limited to any specific demographic. I have, though, had the highest rate of road rage involvement with men in trucks that have tool boxes locked on to the bed. 2 times, in 2 different states, I've had them flex muscles to me - I'm not kidding. I could start a whole 'nother thread about road rage stories (one involving an off-duty police woman)

Anyway - Every time someone gives me a hand gesture, as long as it's seemingly safe, I always respond in a sexual manner depending on the situation. I either gesure "jerk -off", will gesture "blow job, dick in cheek", or "the flipping tongue through the v-shape with your fingers." ---- Either they laugh and move on, or just turn away quickly and move on.

I don't condone that though. Conflict resolution, yo.

[jolanar]

For some reason my windshield wiper water sprayer thingamajig (technical term btw) sprays water really far to the side of the windshield and over the top.

Basically if someone is tailgating me I turn on the sprayer and it soaks their car. Man I love seeing their reactions in my rear view mirror. They range from screaming obscenities to driving by me and flipping me off or on that rare occasion the person will just back off a little without getting angry.


On of the biggest annoyances for me on the road is the 'weavers.' You know those guys in riced out Honda Civics that feel they need to weave wildly through every lane like it's a race and every car they cut off gets them that much closer to the prize. Frankly I think these people more than any others cause accidents out on the road than anyone else.

[The Postmaster General]

For some reason my windshield wiper water sprayer thingamajig (technical term btw) sprays water really far to the side of the windshield and over the top.

Haha. I used to have a '77 Lincoln Continental and the water sprayers were actually on the wipers and would spray a car's length to the right. There were a few times when people would try to pass on the shoulder, or would get from behind me to pass in an exit only lane. There used to be a lot of hookers in the neighborhood I lived in and they were a nuisance for the most part, though some were nice ladies in hardship, and one night I pulled up to where a group of them were standing, and they all moved up on my big ass pimp mobile, and yeah... I felt like an asshole sometime afterward. ;)


Basically if someone is tailgating me I turn on the sprayer and it soaks their car. Man I love seeing their reactions in my rear view mirror. They range from screaming obscenities to driving by me and flipping me off or on that rare occasion the person will just back off a little without getting angry.

I had a car with a cracked engine block, and putting it in neutral and pushing the gas would release a Bond styled smoke screen. That was a great relief for tailgaters. The smoke would always clear and they'd be like a block behind me.


On of the biggest annoyances for me on the road is the 'weavers.' You know those guys in riced out Honda Civics that feel they need to weave wildly through every lane like it's a race and every car they cut off gets them that much closer to the prize. Frankly I think these people more than any others cause accidents out on the road than anyone else.

Sometimes I commentate when driving: "Alright! They're winning! They just moved from the 4 millionth position to the 3,999,999 position!" --- It's like, who the fuck are the racing.

That's why I don't drive like a bat out of hell when there's heavy traffic --- You aren't going anywhere, just wasting gas, and putting everyone's life in danger. Go when you can go - there's no point being in the front of a line of cars just because.

You ever notice too --- these people will get in front of everyone, then slow down --- It's like suddenly they have all this room in front of them and they don't know where to go.

Fuck that. When I speed it's because I'm in a hurry, not just spinning my wheels. If I break through an annoyance of cars, I just go faster. I didn't do all that just to be in front.

It always bugs me how cars ride in flocks like birds. Look for this if you haven't noticed it. That's what I call an "Annoyance of Cars" --- Every car on the road is all clumped together. I don't get that. Not at all. People will speed up just to join an annoyance of cars. And people who are going slow and an annoyance catches up, they will joing in. It's a stupid flock mentality and makes no sense.

I think it's dangerous to be around other vehicles. Usually when I notice myself in one of these flocks, I'll slow down and let them get away so I can have space around me -- room if I need to make evasive actions or something else. Of course this mostly doesn't work because, flock mentality, the annoyance sees me slow down and are like, "What? Huh? Cop?" and they all slow down. Mostly I find myself hauling ass to get away from them. They will start to try and stay with you, but eventually they know you have your own thing going on and stick with the herd.

That actually happened one time while it was raining in Florida at night, and as I was speeding off, I hit a pool of water on the road and hydroplaned, but a combination of skill and luck managed to keep me from losing control, I pulled through and kept on my way. Instantly I looked in the rear view mirror and sure enough say a car spin out, followed by another, another, leading to a massive pile up that I would have been in the middle of had I not got away from the annoyance of cars. I called highway patrol, and the incident was on the news that night.

This has always been my vindication for why I don't like driving in herds of cars (rush hour or heavy traffic - when it's unavoidable is a different story, but still follows the rules that you don't want to be too close to other cars, so don't tailgate, and allow others to pass and merge...)

[Tagia_Romero]

I honestly have nothing new to add to this infamous list, other than me asking this simple question: HOW did they get their license? I see grown men and women talking on mobile phones even though the law clearly states it is illegal and a major hazard to do so. Do they believe they are invincible or something? Can they not read? It's so paradoxical to me. :(

I have said this before on another thread, but I believe it also applies here: common sense and common decency apparently aren't all that common.

[john_rambo]

I am without license so I walk everywhere, and so I take my life in my own hands walking to work, or anywhere for that matter. I HATE when drivers feel the need to try to beat their way past you when you are crossing the street (legally mind you). I almost got hit by a dumbass driver the other day crossing in a crosswalk with the little walking lit up, they were speeding up even to try to get past me I had to run out of the way to not get hit.

[BadCoverVersion]

Non-driver here, but I have a recent public transport story...

Last week I was waiting for the bus to go swimming with my boy. Swimming was at 6pm and it was around 5:40pm. I was the first person at the bus stop and I got my son out of his pushchair and waited patiently. I had two large bags, a now folded pushchair and a very rambunctious 17 month old on a harness and reigns...and the bus arrived...and stopped about 5 feet in away from me. Gah.

Just then a crapload of people began boarding the bus and I was left at the back of a newly formed queue...not one person acknowledged my presence or offered me my rightful place in the queue.

To cut a long story short the the bus was completely full by the time I got to it...and not a single passenger would meet my gaze. The driver said he would ask people to move down but I declined his offer and thanked him. He drove away and I've got to admit that I was a little teary-eyed and feeling useless by this point.

I then wrestled with my pram for about 5 minutes and muttered expletives. The 30 or 40 people still waiting for other buses just stared at me blankly.

So we missed swimming and walked home in the sweltering heat.

People are fucking cunts.

[The Postmaster General]

I often muse that there's some sort of driving school that's a sort of land of green ginger-type situation where it's always moving through the cosmos and always just beyond my destination, and this is the only way to explain the bad drivers I see.

Ah, the lengths my optimism will go to.

[Damone]

The one that bothers me the most, and it happens to me more than anyone I know, is when people pull out in front of me. I'll be bumming down a 2 lane road, doing a good speed (not speeding, but definitely right at the limit) and have no one behind me, and some fuckhead will pull out in front of me and proceed to do like 10-15 below the limit.

WHY THE FUCK CANT THEY WAIT FOR ME TO PASS AND THEN PULL OUT? IF THERE IS NO ONE BEHIND ME THEN THEY ARENT SLOWING ANYONE DOWN!

YES!!

What makes this situation worse, is when I'm traveling down a 4 lane city street, with no one behind me or to the side of me, regardless of which of the two lanes I happen to be in, that's the lane they pull out in!

[Cenopath]

In the town where I live, I've encountered one too many instances (while rollerblading) where a driver stops right dead in the middle of the fucking street nowhere NEAR a stop sign just to TALK to someone either on the sidewalk or in another vehicle. I want to punch those motherfuckers in the head.

[The Postmaster General]

I am without license so I walk everywhere, and so I take my life in my own hands walking to work, or anywhere for that matter. I HATE when drivers feel the need to try to beat their way past you when you are crossing the street (legally mind you). I almost got hit by a dumbass driver the other day crossing in a crosswalk with the little walking lit up, they were speeding up even to try to get past me I had to run out of the way to not get hit.

Yes, this is irritating - I get it all the time at our movie theater with a parking lot that's beyond a mall entrance. People always speed up to try and beat pedestrians to the crosswalk, as if it will kill them to wait 10 seconds. (less, really)

Something similar to this:

What about when you are reaching a 4-way stop, and a car coming from another direction GUNS IT to try and beat you to the stop sign, so they can go first.

Probably 90% or more of the shit that annoys me on the road stems from people either not paying attention or trying to cut <5 seconds off their driving time.

[SuperMarcey]

What annoys me the most is drivers who don't watch what they are doing or where they are going and almost cause accidents. I see it every time I am in the car, and it is shocking. Are people getting dumber or something?

[The Postmaster General]

Are people getting dumber or something?

I think it's that cars keep getting more accessible.

[SuperMarcey]

I think it's that cars keep getting more accessible.

It seems anyone can drive apparently, I am wondering how many are on the roads illegally. Honestly, what sort of a moron gave half these drivers a pass, I have no idea.

[Potter82]

People who don't SIGNAL!

It's not hard! you just flick the switch next to the wheel, what the fuck - when did this become optional?!

[RustyRazor]

Talk show host drivers.

Holding an interview with the person in the driver / back seat instead of fucking piloting your fucking Astrovan!

You're NOT driving at the speed you're supposed to, NOT paying attention to the signs or other drivers and you're holding myself and other fucking drivers from getting to our destinations!

If I doused your car with the rest of the Big Gulp that melted waiting for you to FINALLY get out from in front of me, I would be wrong, right?!

How much dick did you have to suck to get that license?! DO other people in your life hate you as much as I do?! These are valid questions I need answered!




Tip of the iceberg, but that's one of my toppers.

[The Postmaster General]

What grates me is that I think all of these go back to giving regard to other drivers.

I think it was Mad Magazine, circa 90 maybe, did a Snappy Answers to Stupid Bumper Stickers and one that always stood out for me was: |I brake for dogs| ... |Great, now how about braking for other drivers!|

Perhaps that's why my driving mantra has become, "What, me worry?"

[Vong]

The only pet peeve I have are people who hog the left passing lane on a highway and go a slow 110-120 km/h when the majority of the people behind them want to go faster.

[The Postmaster General]

The only pet peeve I have are people who hog the left passing lane on a highway and go a slow 110-120 km/h when the majority of the people behind them want to go faster.

You got it! There's a line of like 10 cars behind them -- even worse, they are right next to and going the same speed as the car in the slow lane, so it's just a wall of car in front of everyone. It gets even worse as you get more lanes. I've sometimes been stuck behind a theoretical wall of 3 jackasses.

Something I mentioned earlier - You are the one in the fast lane, and you see a car flying up behind you. Oh, you're a cool dude, down with the kids wanted to be too fast too furious, so you politely signal and move over a lane to the right, then these numbskulls all but slam on their brakes, never actually passing you. So you are going faster than the car in the middle lane, which is why you were in the fast lane to begin with, so you have to get back over to the left lane, but when you signal, the guy you originally got over to let pass, decides to finally speed up, and there's a fucking annoyance of cars backed up behind him, so you're stuck in the middle lane.

And what's with the assholes that for some reason have to get right up on your tail to pass. Not a single other car on the road, but for some reason they decide to get as close as the can to you and veer around, instead of just getting over 2 miles back when they should have realized they were approaching a slower moving object.

[Tagia_Romero]

Perhaps that's why my driving mantra has become, "What, me worry?"

Heh, that's better than mine: 'Pedestrian? What pedestrian?' ;)

[outsyder]

Tailgaters.

Accidents are your fault because you're morons.

[athf1980]

people not using their turn signal
speeding for no reason
drunkin idiots
people who dont have mufflers.

[Mr.HyDe807]

Hey drivers, you see that fucking stick on the left of your steering wheel? Yeah, that's used for turning signals. If you push it down, it signals left, and when you go up, you signal right. Now, this may be a small request from a simple dude as myself but would you mind...FUCKING USING THEM WHEN YOU DECIDE TO CHANGE LANES OR MAKE A TURN?!

Thanks, I would appreciate it.

[The Postmaster General]

Why does failure to signal a turn bother so many people? Is it because it impedes your driving, or is it more of a principle thing?

[Mr.HyDe807]

For me, it's usually in context of I'm going to drive past a car, who then quickly glides into the other lane, sans signal, causing me to brake, and be so flustered that I don't have the time to honk my horn.

[Badbird]

Why does failure to signal a turn bother so many people? Is it because it impedes your driving, or is it more of a principle thing?

I couldn't find the scene on YouTube, but did you ever see Shoot 'em Up? That pretty much sums it up.

[DaveyJoeG]

Bubba most of your problems stem from trying to be polite and courteous to other drivers. This is a mistake. The other drivers don't interpret it that way at all. They think you are mocking them, and they will take it personally.


In the town where I live, I've encountered one too many instances (while rollerblading) where a driver stops right dead in the middle of the fucking street nowhere NEAR a stop sign just to TALK to someone either on the sidewalk or in another vehicle. I want to punch those motherfuckers in the head.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9q30Ce2vwE

[The Postmaster General]

Bubba most of your problems stem from trying to be polite and courteous to other drivers. This is a mistake. The other drivers don't interpret it that way at all. They think you are mocking them, and they will take it personally.

I have considered that it does stem from like a paranoia - as in the case where I get over to let people speed pass, maybe they are worried I'm going to swing back over and ride their ass.

I've noticed when I'm in a left lane, and the right lane is going slow due to a merge or oncoming exit, that a lot of people act as if you are going to cut in front of them and as you pass will gun it to get on the ass of the car in front of them. This will especially happen if you get out of that right lane after realizing it's backed up, and people see you get over. It sometimes seems like people are expecting you to be a dick by default.

So while it grinds me gears on an incident to incident basis, the overriding irritant is just that people are dicks on the road, and everyone acts like it.

Maybe I'm living in a page from a 1950s version of a good citizens handbook, but I refuse to believe that my continuing to be polite and courteous will do nothing but encourage others to drive with the same regard. The dicks shouldn't win.

Still though, I think your response is apt in regard to past "beefs" people have taken up with me on the boards. :D

[DaveyJoeG]

I have considered that it does stem from like a paranoia - as in the case where I get over to let people speed pass, maybe they are worried I'm going to swing back over and ride their ass.

It sometimes seems like people are expecting you to be a dick by default.

Still though, I think your response is apt in regard to past "beefs" people have taken up with me on the boards. :D

I think some people do expect other drivers to be a dick by default, but there are plenty of courteous drivers still out there like yourself. Location and culture can play a big part in it. Where I'm from I hear stereotypes that makes me wonder where they originated from, I've heard many people say that people from Pennsylvania are terrible drivers. Don't know what started that one up, but I've heard it several times from different people. I'm reminded of every time my grandparents vacation in Ireland, they bring up the fact that people there drive like bats out of hell on a tiny road barely big enough for two cars. My friends usually make fun of my for driving too cautious, I dated one girl who said I drove like her grandmother. Sadly nobody ever thanks you for delivering them to their destination alive.

As for posting, it's also fun when it goes the other way, like when somebody mistakes a dry humor post for being totally serious. I think I most recently noticed this in the Mackenzie Phillips thread.

[The Postmaster General]

I think some people do expect other drivers to be a dick by default, but there are plenty of courteous drivers still out there like yourself. Location and culture can play a big part in it. Where I'm from I hear stereotypes that makes me wonder where they originated from, I've heard many people say that people from Pennsylvania are terrible drivers. Don't know what started that one up, but I've heard it several times from different people. I'm reminded of every time my grandparents vacation in Ireland, they bring up the fact that people there drive like bats out of hell on a tiny road barely big enough for two cars. My friends usually make fun of my for driving too cautious, I dated one girl who said I drove like her grandmother. Sadly nobody ever thanks you for delivering them to their destination alive.

Yeah, there are courteous drivers out there, no doubt.

It's funny too because I really can drive like a bat out of hell, but I always manage to do it in a courteous manner. Something pretty major would have to be happening to get me to disregard the safety of others, but I've had a share of driving like Steve McQueen.

Something kind of funny, but what about when courteous drivers grind your gears? Example: 3 cars at a 2 way stop. 2 of them were clearly there before you, and now those two are going back and forth with hand gestures. "You go." "No, you go." "No, really, you go." "Oh come on..." --- This is a time where I am less courteous and as that 3rd car will end up just going first, sometimes getting a horn or making someone who finally decided to start going have to stop.

[The Postmaster General]

Bumper Sticker I always thought would be funny to have:

If you think I'm driving too slow, I probably thought you were a cop!

[DaveyJoeG]

Yeah, there are courteous drivers out there, no doubt.

It's funny too because I really can drive like a bat out of hell, but I always manage to do it in a courteous manner. Something pretty major would have to be happening to get me to disregard the safety of others, but I've had a share of driving like Steve McQueen.

Something kind of funny, but what about when courteous drivers grind your gears? Example: 3 cars at a 2 way stop. 2 of them were clearly there before you, and now those two are going back and forth with hand gestures. "You go." "No, you go." "No, really, you go." "Oh come on..." --- This is a time where I am less courteous and as that 3rd car will end up just going first, sometimes getting a horn or making someone who finally decided to start going have to stop.

Haha, I've definitely been in situations like that at a 4 way stop. I wave the other driver ahead even though I'm on the right and I arrived before they did. They just wave me on and give me a look like "just go, you pansy." Good times.

I have a really bad eye for cops. If anything with a big antenna gets near me I will tense up. Meanwhile I'm going 15 over and a buddy points out a cop in a speed trap that I failed to notice.

[The Postmaster General]

Ha! I had to pick up a car in Ohio and drive it to Florida, and the entire time I kept wondering why everyone was going so slow, and why people kept getting out of my way. I'm walking back up to the car at a rest area in Georgia before it dawns on me that I'm in a Ford Escort with a luggage rack. I thought that was pretty funny.

You know what I think is annoying, and this may hit some people here, but why the hell do people want to drive cars that look like cop cars? I don't mean like my situation above, but I mean people will buy decommissioned Crown Victorias with the spot light and I've seen people even go so far as to add on CB antennas, police booster stickers, and in one extreme case I saw a guy with a heavy jacket containing patches hanging in the back window. I know this is illegal in some states - as I found when coming across a police message board where they were talking about this same thing. The thing that really gets me is that most of the time it's the type of people who I'd think wouldn't want attention drawn to them.

[Reigh Kaufman]

Shouting anti-Semitic remarks and abusing sugar-titted cops while pissed is my most recent bugbear.

When will these people be challenged?

[The Postmaster General]

Sugar tits - the bane of diabetic sex addicts.

[DaveyJoeG]

You know what I think is annoying, and this may hit some people here, but why the hell do people want to drive cars that look like cop cars? I don't mean like my situation above, but I mean people will buy decommissioned Crown Victorias with the spot light and I've seen people even go so far as to add on CB antennas, police booster stickers, and in one extreme case I saw a guy with a heavy jacket containing patches hanging in the back window. I know this is illegal in some states - as I found when coming across a police message board where they were talking about this same thing. The thing that really gets me is that most of the time it's the type of people who I'd think wouldn't want attention drawn to them.

Probably the same reason you're lurking around on police message boards!

[The Postmaster General]

Probably the same reason you're lurking around on police message boards!

Ah, rats to you!

[Damone]

The thing that really gets me is that most of the time it's the type of people who I'd think wouldn't want attention drawn to them.

They just want to know what it feels like to ride in the FRONT seat of one for a change.

[labialover]

I hate when people turn in front of me, making me have to slow down, and then proceed to drive slow. Why do people do this?

When someone is pissed at me on the road, and they give me the finger, only they don't look at me. They just put their finger up to the window. Be a fucking man about it, and look me in the eye.

I still don't understand why it's so hard for some people to talk on the phone and drive. I've never had any issue with accomplishing this.

[The Postmaster General]

They just want to know what it feels like to ride in the FRONT seat of one for a change.

Oh, I think we have a bingo!

I hate when people turn in front of me, making me have to slow down, and then proceed to drive slow. Why do people do this?

When someone is pissed at me on the road, and they give me the finger, only they don't look at me. They just put their finger up to the window. Be a fucking man about it, and look me in the eye.

I still don't understand why it's so hard for some people to talk on the phone and drive. I've never had any issue with accomplishing this.

Yeah, the phone thing I don't get, and really think it just goes back to people not paying attention, as in the cell phone is just an excuse. That's what kind of peeves me about these texting laws - a) I doubt they'll ever be enforced and b) seriously... no laws about, say, putting makeup on, or playing with your CD player?

I have to reason that why cell phones get singled out is that these assholes, after causing an accident, probably get out of their car and are still on the cell phone, infuriating the other driver.

It just makes no sense to me. I like to zone out as much as the next person and do my fair share while driving (see a getting pulled over encounter I recently had as evidence) but come on man, I don't care how luxurious the car is, I'm not sitting on my f-in couch! I can't seem to forget the idea that I'm moving at the least 10 times faster than I normally move, and at the most, 40, or 50 times faster.

If there was a way to drive and fiddle your thumbs, people would probably do that too. Errrgh!

As for the finger, I can't say I have a problem with them not making eye contact, but what I DO have a problem with is people not looking at you in general. That's one of the things they teach pedestrians to be safe - try to look at the drivers' faces so you know what they are doing (if they are paying attention to you or not)

I always try to look at other people, see what's going on and so forth - not stare or anything. Where it peeves me most is like in situations when people do something that fucks your shit up in terms of cutting you off or what not - and won't even look at you. Even worse - when you are courteous to a driver and they won't look at you, wave, even acknowledge you. In that situation, I'd probably be happier if they did flick me the bird. As far as road rage scenarios though - I think the less the eye contact the better. Like dogs, some of these people only get insulted with that sort of gesture.


What bugs me about the finger - when people use it "in the wrong." That is to say, they did something wrong, or nothing wrong happened at all, and you get this random, out-of-context finger thrown at you. What?

This happened to me in one instance where this very young lady was driving a very new car and I was on the interstate and she comes flying up next to me in a merge lane. Well, there's not much room in front of me, and I assume she sees this and plans to eventually stop going faster in the merge lane than the cars that are actually on the freeway so I pay her no mind, but look over and sure enough she's speeding up more and more trying to cut in front of me. So, I brake a touch - no harm SINCE THERE'S NO FUCKING CARS BEHIND ME FOR MILES... sorry... So I let her speed ahead of me and slam on her brakes to avoid hitting the car ahead of her, and sure enough, she shoots me the bird. So I do what I mostly always do when people give me the bird

When people give me the bird, I just like to smile and wave. Only a couple instances have I seen this escalate the person, but both times it was more like a Daffy Duck going crazy kind of agitation and not the "oh yeah, you think you're better" type of agitation I've experience oh, so, so many times. I've had some rather ridiculous road rage incidents that often remind me I should be more thankful for life than I often am.

[labialover]

Even worse - when you are courteous to a driver and they won't look at you, wave, even acknowledge you. In that situation, I'd probably be happier if they did flick me the bird.

As soon as I posted I forgot about this, it pisses me off to no end.

When people give me the bird, I just like to smile and wave. Only a couple instances have I seen this escalate the person, but both times it was more like a Daffy Duck going crazy kind of agitation and not the "oh yeah, you think you're better" type of agitation I've experience oh, so, so many times. I've had some rather ridiculous road rage incidents that often remind me I should be more thankful for life than I often am.

I do this too. It's pure enjoyment to me.

[DaveyJoeG]

The big one that pisses me off is when a driver has his/her high beams on while driving behind you. These are usually tailgaters as well.

[The Postmaster General]

I had a pal who had a strobe light facing out his rear window for those people.

I've never understood why they make trucks that sit high off the ground, but build the front ends with the same proportions as small vehicles. It seems like they should be designed with the headlights lower. Of course I could see them not selling because buyers would say they, "look funny."

[Frosty_86]

One thing that pisses me off when I drive is when Im at a stop light and someone is behind me and they stop and they're right on my ass. Then when I inch up a little bit to have a little bit of breathing room they inch too. And then I look through my rear view and they're over here looking around in fucking lala land and Im just thinking theyre fucking left up on that damn break and hit my damn car.

[The Postmaster General]

Great one Frosty. Whenever I have someone riding my ass as I approach a stop light, I stop back a ridiculous amount of space from where I should. Then as they stop, I'll inch up a bit. Then they do to. So I do again. Then they do again. I leave so much room in front of me that I often can repeat this so many times that they just give up and leave me that breathing room.

Another thing --- People who slam on the brakes instead of slowly depressing the brakes. People who slam on the gas instead of just giving it gas.

I thought of that because you reminded me of being at a stop and someone flies up behind you and stop at the last minute. That shit pisses me off to no end because it's just so stupid (read: unnecessary) and is really dangerous. Granted, if they hit me, it'd be their fault, but still - I don't have fucking time to deal with that. Not only that, I was rear-ended by a F-350 when I was driving my '77 Lincoln and they were uninsured. That was the only thing that ever happened to that care to break the lines --- it always looked good in profile, but that asshole bent my bumper all up in the air and I never got around to fixing it because it would cost money. The funny part was that the guy who hit me, on the police report called himself Bubba -- that was the actual name that went on the report. I called Bubba and told him I was going to go to a junkyard and wanted to know how much he was willing to throw in for a new bumper and he said he'd call back and I never heard from him again. It really bugged me not because of that, but because a) the cops let him leave the scene before they let me leave, and the guy had no insurance and the cop said, "Oh I didn't know that." b) all I could think about was what if I'd been in my wife's Tercel c) he had a fucking confederate flag -- I mean an actual flag on a flag pole - not like a little diplomat type flag, I mean like a giant flag you'd put in your yard -- I was sticking up from the bed of his truck. ---- I swear the cop let him go and didn't do anything about not having insurance because it was some kind of "good ole boy" camaraderie.

[Frosty_86]

I thought of that because you reminded me of being at a stop and someone flies up behind you and stop at the last minute. That shit pisses me off to no end because it's just so stupid (read: unnecessary) and is really dangerous. Granted, if they hit me, it'd be their fault, but still - I don't have fucking time to deal with that. Not only that, I was rear-ended by a F-350 when I was driving my '77 Lincoln and they were uninsured. That was the only thing that ever happened to that care to break the lines --- it always looked good in profile, but that asshole bent my bumper all up in the air and I never got around to fixing it because it would cost money. The funny part was that the guy who hit me, on the police report called himself Bubba -- that was the actual name that went on the report. I called Bubba and told him I was going to go to a junkyard and wanted to know how much he was willing to throw in for a new bumper and he said he'd call back and I never heard from him again. It really bugged me not because of that, but because a) the cops let him leave the scene before they let me leave, and the guy had no insurance and the cop said, "Oh I didn't know that." b) all I could think about was what if I'd been in my wife's Tercel c) he had a fucking confederate flag -- I mean an actual flag on a flag pole - not like a little diplomat type flag, I mean like a giant flag you'd put in your yard -- I was sticking up from the bed of his truck. ---- I swear the cop let him go and didn't do anything about not having insurance because it was some kind of "good ole boy" camaraderie.

Damn that is fucked up. I bet they were like cousins or some thing but cops are required to put down the name of the insurance provider when they fill out the report or at least they do in my hometown. That was the first thing they asked for when an old lady rear ended me a few years ago.

I know exactly what your talking about though Ill see somebody coming up in my rear view and they seem like there not making any notion of slowing down once so ever and at the last second they slam on their brakes. When I see that I tense up, I'm fucking bracing for impact like Im on a plane coming in for a hard landing. Like you said if they hit me it's their fault but I dont want to go through the inconvenience and the pain. I've got little p.o.s. Escort and it would not really hold up to well in a wreak. Fuck Ive already got back problems because of a high school football injury. I had to go through three months of physical therapy and I"m not wanting to go through it again anytime soon because some some fuckhead barreled in to my ass while I was at a stop light.

[The Postmaster General]

Oh yeah, they did put down insurance info, but it was an expired policy. They even wrote it on the report. I knew they didn't have insurance because before the police came I asked for insurance info and he said he didn't have any.

The only reason the cops were called was because I called an ambulance because the guy had his wife with him and she was pregnant and started acting like she was injured AFTER the insurance thing came up.

That police who came talked to them before talking to me, and got their story without hearing from me. They were trying to say my brake lights don't work, but the brakes worked fine - you think the police would had been annoyed by that, but whatev - he went back to get more of their story. I even said at the time that it shouldn't have mattered if I had the brakes on or not because I was waiting to make a right hand turn and had I been making the turn they still would have hit me. Not to mention, I was driving a 1977 Lincoln Continental that's about 12 feet wide and to boot - IT WAS ORANGE!!!!!

YES OBVIOUSLY IF YOU DON'T SEE BRAKE LIGHTS, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL THAT THIS IS IN FRONT OF YOU!!!!

http://carphotos.cardomain.com/ride_images/3/3255/2401/33136200006_large.jpg
(not my car, but my car was exactly like this except the paint wasn't as cherry)

Then, this will piss you off Frosty, after the lady got checked out by the ambulance and Bubba was talking to the cop she came by and I remarked that there wasn't a single mark on the front of their truck.

SHE LAUGHS and says, "yeah, we paid extra for the steel bumper." :mad:

So going from being worried about losing a baby to laughing about that. These people were the biggest cons I'd ever seen.

About a year later, I had my friend who worked at the local jail come from the phone in the holding cell. He sounds akin to Barry White and left a series of messages on their answering machine during work hours, asking for the wife, making various references to him not getting anymore letters from her and that he's getting released soon and would really want to see her --- He even did it using heavy, but no fake sounding ebonics. It didn't get my bumper fixed, but it was good for a laugh and one can only hope that ole Bubba got those messages first.





**A driving tip - If you think someone is about to hit you take your foot off the brake and then when they hit you slam on it again - having your foot off the brake will reduce the impact and hitting again will prevent you from coasting into an intersection. Of course you have to use judgement and if it's a really busy intersection you may want to take the brunt of the impact to avoid being thrown too far into the intersection, but something you can do is start pumping your brake pedal or turn your hazards on (takes more time that pumping brakes) --- this will give the driver approaching some flashing lights to see. I didn't do this during my rear end because I was looking to make a right - I had been sitting there waiting for a good 5 - 10 seconds before getting rear ended so Bubba had plenty of time to see me because it was a pretty long road.

[Frosty_86]

I would have to smack a bitch if she said something like that me. Are fucking kidding me, a steel bumper?!! Unless it's dark, rainy, or otherwise a low visibility day you should be able to tell if someone is fucking stopped doesn't matter if one's break lights are on or not it's day time you should be able to see.


We can all hope though that Bubba did get those messages, I would pay money to see that.


That little tip is good though. I know most people cant help but to tense up (myself included) but tensing is the worst thing you can do, there are several different injuries that could happen caused by tensing up.

[The Postmaster General]

Yeah, apparently that's why drunk drivers always escape accidents with the most injuries because they are relaxed.

[DaveyJoeG]

Yeah, apparently that's why drunk drivers always escape accidents with the most injuries because they are relaxed.

That's why I always try to pound a few beers before driving anywhere. You can never be too careful.

Hey, it's safer than texting or getting road head while driving.

[Frosty_86]

I fucking hate when people turn on their turn signals at the last second and slam on their breaks to turn when they're in a neighborhood turning on to a side street because if Im behind them then Ive got to slam on my breaks too.

[The Postmaster General]

Yeah, you're supposed to use the turn signal before turning. It's actually supposed to be like 30 feet back or some figure, but I can't remember.



Has anyone else ever thought about filling their trunk with nails and when people tailgate, release the trunk? Or is that just me?

Yesterday I had a bunch of suspension work done to my car which caused the alignment to be off - I had to drive quite a distance and it bugs me that people will just assume your car is in tip top shape. That always bothers me, because if my rack fell out and busted up their car because they were tailgating and wouldn't just pass - it would somehow be my fault.



Today, I was going down the Interstate and some dude in an Impala is flying up behind me. I'm doing over 80, so I'd figure he was doing 100 easily. I'm passing the cars in the right lane, but figure I'll get over anyway, because maybe he's a detective or something - maybe he just robbed a bank. I don't know. He's in a hurry and I respect that. So I go to get over --- Now keep in mind, the right lane is going visibly slower - probably around 60 or so. I get over and the next thing I know he's on my ass holding the horn down. He, for some reason, decided to swerve over into the right lane. The dude stays behind me for a good mile with his horn depressed. Finally he goes to pass, still holding the horn, and gets up next to me and paces me, holding the horn. What the fuck? Weren't you in some kind of big hurry asshole? Why do you have time to try and start shit? So I do what I always do when people are next to me looking at me, and I start doing the international symbol for "jerking off" and he speeds off, but oh, where you going to go big guy? I wasn't only going 80 because I only like to speed slightly - there were cars in front of me, you know. Finally it opens to 3 lanes, and he weeves around another car and hauls ass.

Long story slightly shorter, I pass him about a mile down the road as he's in the right lane backed up in traffic because he apparently kept making bad choices. About 2 miles later he passes me again, but isn't so content on stopping to start shit this time.

Ass. Hole.

[Frosty_86]

The fucking tailgating pisses me off too, sometimes I think about slamming on my breaks just so the asshole's insurance premium will go up but then I think the fuckhead may not have insurance so I better not because I'd be in a lot of pain and my car would be all fucked and I cant afford to get it fixed or get a new one at this time. The amazing thing about people who ride your ass is when they do it in the rain or the snow. How fucking stupid can these people be?

I really dont know what the fuck these people are thinking because theyre not going to get where their going that much faster and plus if there's a cop in the vicinity he's going to see that shit and pull them over and that wastes more time than just respecting the rules of the road and giving someone a little breathing room.

[labialover]

Just heard on the radio today, the three worst cities for road rage.

1. Los Angeles
2. Dallas
3. Detroit

I live right outside Detroit. I can say I've had rage before on a couple of occasions. But I mostly just get irritated with stupid drivers, it's more of the "what are you thinking" than the "I'm going to follow you home and murder your family."

Can a person with ADD drive a Ford Focus?

[The Postmaster General]

Just heard on the radio today, the three worst cities for road rage.

1. Los Angeles
2. Dallas
3. Detroit

I live right outside Detroit. I can say I've had rage before on a couple of occasions. But I mostly just get irritated with stupid drivers, it's more of the "what are you thinking" than the "I'm going to follow you home and murder your family."

That Focus joke is great!

I've had a particularly high rate of getting into road rage incidents. There's been theories ranging from me driving an orangish color car - and orange evoking rage in people, to me just having a smart ass face, to me reminding people of some guy who bullied them in high school. Though it's all probably just bad luck.

One night I was driving to a friend's house from the bowling alley, and some dude was going down a 50 at about 20. I was behind them, not at all upset or anything - I thought something was wrong with their car, and was starting to think if maybe he needed help of some sort. The next thing I know, I see a bunch of guys in the car, flicking me off and shit, and I'm paying attention to that (it's 1ish in the AM) and before I can figure out what's going on, the dude slams on his brakes and I rear end him.

This all happened in the blink of an eye - it got elevated that fast. I don't hit him very hard, but being I was in a huge car and he in an Accord, his rear end goes on top of my bumper. I was like, "Shit. Accident." but the next thing I know the dude (seemed like 18 or so) jumps out of the car going, "What? Motherfucker!?" and jumping around screaming ape shit.

So I back up, to get his car off mine, and the nutjob runs up and punches my window. I do what any reasonable person would do, and throw it in drive and take off --- well, I would have, if not something possessed me to stop a dozen or so feet away and roll down my window to give a Nelson Muntz-styled, "Ha.Ha."

The dude chases for about the next 30 minutes, and we are doing insane speeds. There's no police around when you need them, and this was before I had a cell phone. My then girlfriend is in the car screaming at me, for some reason pointing out to me we aren't in a movie. At one point I jump a medium and dipshit decides that it's smart to follow me. His car bottoms out and visibly becomes damaged as he can't keep up anymore.

I lose him by turning onto a side street and I turn off my lights and am waiting. I see him pass on the connecting road and am like "Whew" but then he backs up and turns on to the road. Oh yeah, I had my lights off, but my foot was on the brake peddle. The guy stops in the middle of the road, blocking it and I back out of the drive way. We are facing each other on the road. I look to the sides and figure there's no way my car can make it around him, and either it's going to be I sit there and wait to see what happens, or I ram into him, or I take out a line of mailboxes and garbage cans on the side of the road. I decide on choice C and gun it going straight towards him. At the last minute I veer toward the mailboxes and garbage cans, but who-ah I managed to squeeze in between him with just inches on either side.

You know how sometimes in moments of craziness, you have this strange totally clear thought that seems out of place with what's happening? Yeah, right as I cleared his car, I had a cartoon-like picture of him wearing a hat, and the hat spinning around as I flew past him. I would laugh a lot about that later on.

Well, I'm back on a main road, and realize I'm on the far end of town now, and remember there's a police substation near by and decide my best bet it to head for that. I am not speeding really at this point, because I figured after scaring the guy shitless by way of appearing I was going to ram him head-on, he might have given up, but sure enough I see headlights flying up behind me, so I gun it again. And there he goes, getting further and further away, until I see him pull off. My theory is that his car genuinely was fucked up for chasing me across a median.

So I just head to that friend's house I was on my way to, and use his phone and call the police - I'm was in an orange 77' Lincoln and he was in a white Honda Accord - I didn't want him to report me (he had ample time to get my license) and I wanted to report it first. So I talk to a police officer online and give him the basic jist, slightly lightening facts about how crazy the "race" got, and the cop is just like, "You did the right thing. This guy sounds like he wasn't interested in exchanging insurance info." (Yeah, I was thinking that too.)

The next day and a week later, then a month later, I call the police again to see if anything was reported, but nothing ever was. I imagine maybe the dude was fresh behind the wheel, maybe even driving a parents car. I never hear about that guy again, except to share the story. He was gone from my life, that guy in the white Accord, or as I quickly decided to call him, The Great White Hype.

Up next, the time I pissed off an off duty police woman so badly she decided to sideswipe my car with her 80s model Trans-Am (1 of 2 stories of me dealing with totally insane women driving old American sporty cars)...

[labialover]

Up next, the time I pissed off an off duty police woman so badly she decided to sideswipe my car with her 80s model Trans-Am (1 of 2 stories of me dealing with totally insane women driving old American sporty cars)...

Do tell that one.

I've never pissed a cop off by my driving. But, I left a Journey concert one night, completely wasted and still pumped up from what I had just rocked out to for 90 minutes. I was walking to the car with my friends, when for some reason I decided to headbutt a car in the lot. As I walked away the window goes down, "son will you come here?" I looked back and started to say "fuck off" when I realized it was an unmarked cop car. He asked what I was doing, I told him I had just seen Journey. There was a very small dent on his car, he said "next time you headbutt a car, make sure it's not a cop. Now get the fuck outta here." I was surprised he let me go.

I've also been pulled over tripping on mushrooms without any identification, proof of insurance, or registration.

[RicochetShaw]

Road Rudeness, a manifestation of Road Rage, grinds my gears quite a bit. And recently, I confronted a motherfucker about it.

About 3-4 weeks ago, I was slowing to a red left turn signal. The light was green if you wanted to straight, but it had a separate (and at this moment, red) light for those wanting to turn left. This huge behemoth of a truck is behind me, and as I'm slowing, it accelerates past me on my right side, and starts honking loudly and incessantly. I look over to my right to see it pass, and the driver was mouthing all sorts of expletives, and rudely motioning with his hands. I was kind of shocked for a moment. I had been flipped off before, honked at... but nothing like this. The truck accelerates by me and goes through the greenlight.

I watch from my stopped position as he takes the first left he can... into a strip mall parking lot. I figure he's going to circle around and join onto the road that I'm about to turn left on to.... therefore bypassing the red light. Instead, he just circles a bit, and parks in a spot. He's several hundred feet away, so I can't see exactly what he looks like, but I see a man get out of the truck and go into a shop in the strip mall.

As the light turns green, I turn left, and I'm still upset over what this dick just did to me. I'm a somewhat confrontational person, and I consider confronting this dude. Reason takes control, and I decide to just drive on by and do nothing. At the last moment, though, I decide what the hell, I'll at least drive into this parking lot, so I slow down quickly to turn into the strip mall parking lot.

It's about 7 in the morning at this time on a Sunday, so I'm wondering what place could possibly be open that he could enter. He's parked dead center in the lot, not really giving me a clue as to where he entered. I see a hair-cutting place, a tae kwon doe, academy, and then a donut shop... bingo. Suddenly, I decide I must go in. Even if I don't talk to the guy, I'm kind of hungry and a kolache sounds good. Besides, I'm almost positive he wouldn't recognize my face... I'd have to tell him it's me, since he drove by so fast and all. I wouldn't recognize his face either.

So I park quite a few spots away, and enter the donut place. It's your typical ma-and-pa Donut shop... small, very clean and sterile, bright-ass fluorescent lights beaming down, and a couple of tables for sitting. There's a woman just leaving with her donuts, once placing an order, and some guy behind her in line. By process of deduction, this is the dude. Only guy in only open store in the mall.

I size him up, he's about average height, average build... 5'9" or so. He's in his mid-30's, seems rather clean-cut, and kinda has a dickish look to him. He's wearing an Ed Hardy-type shirt and long shorts that go well past his knees. At this point I'm kind of trembling... I'm right behind the guy. Do I say anything? The lady gets her stuff and sits to eat, this guy gets his stuff and sits to eat, and then it's me. I order a single kolache, and by the time the clerk hands it to me, I've chickened out and decided to walk out.

On my way out, though, as I'm passing the dude, I'm compelled to do it... to confront him. He was in the wrong, I'll never have this chance again, and I'm a lot bigger than him (I didn't clarify earlier, but I'm 6'3", and a healthy 230 lbs... see here (http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v235/179/120/18800423/n18800423_32949521_3411.jpg) for me in size comparison, as I'm in a group with other people.... I'm the guy on the left). So as I'm walking out, I turn around, and ask the dude "excuse me, is there something wrong with my car?" I say this as politely and as kindly as possible, as to not escalate things to an aggressive level. I want to confront the guy about it, but not necessarily go in guns glazing, or be a dick.
He looks up, very confused. He obviously doesn't recognize me, and says he doesn't know.
I then say, "well you were honking me out there quite a bit, I was just wondering if there was something wrong with my car"
At this point a non-mistakable "oh shit" look comes over his face. He knows who I am now. He says, "I don't know man, I just got here"
I reply, "Yeah, I just got here too. I'm pretty sure it was you who was honking at me."
"Is that your car?" he asks, pointing at one parked directly next to his truck.
"No," I reply, and I point at my car, quite a ways away, "that's my car."
After this, "oh-shit" is replaced by fear. His posture turns into that of some one completely pitiful and pathetic... shoulders slinking, back bent. I go on, "Yeah, you were just honking so much that I was concerned about my vehicle. Is my blinker out or something?"
He responds, but is mumbling. He's looking down at his lap and continues to ramble in a low, completely incoherent manner. I can't make out what he's saying, and I stop him mid-sentence - "I can't understand a word that you're saying."
He looks up at me, rather bug-eyed. Feeling confidence and righteous anger coursing through me, I say... still in my polite and accommodating tone, "yeah, not so tough now are you?" He says nothing, and just sits there. Then, I decide to finish it, and go from polite to justifiable asshole, and say in a firm tone "You sack of shit."
I then briskly walk out, on top of the world, and a swell of confidence. It was a great moment, and I felt pretty damn awesome. You could say I was a dick for picking on some one not my own size, but this dude was a complete asshole, hiding behind his monster truck and being a jerk on the road. Maybe he'll think twice before trying to intimidate some one on the road from now on.

I've told others this, and some have noted that this could have turned out differently. He could have had a weapon, it could have been another tragic road rage story, etc. But none of that happened, and I'm glad that I did what I did.

[The Postmaster General]

That's a great story, Shaw, and I don't think it could have turned out much different.

Here are two stories about why I mostly refuse to go to a Wal-Mart unless it's a 24 hours store and it's past midnight...

Something similar happened to me at a WalMart (yeah) parking lot when some dude started waving his arms and making faces at me and shit because I was letting some lady cross the road. It was snowing out. I was getting ready to pull into a spot and saw his truck was there first to go into the spot. So instead of taking the spot I decide to go to the next spot, but had to stop in front of the spot to let the lady cross. I don't know if he saw the lady or not, but he just starts honking and yelling at me through his window. Finally I move and he takes the spot. I circle around and take a spot a few down on the other side.

As we both get out of our cars, I yell out, "What hell did I do, man?"

The guy, maybe mid/late-30s just starts screaming at me, and runs toward me, but I just sort of pay now attention and say something like, "What's your problem?"

He starts walking away, and I say, "That's fucking nuts man."

The dude turns around again and charges me, but I'm just sort of like "whatev" and am getting ready to brace for him to tackle me or something.

He turns around and walks in.

As we get into the store, he stops to look at something. I think he wanted me to walk ahead of him, because it seemed really unnatural the way he stops. So I start to think he's going to follow me around or some shit, maybe fucking with me. I decide to put an end to it and turn around, walking toward the dude as I say in a loud tone, "You know what?"

The dude flinches as I've never seen anyone flinch at me before, and I throw out my hand in a handshake gesture and something to the effect of, "Whatever I did, I'm sorry." and then he says he is having a bad morning and I point out the sudden snowfall sucks and he agrees. I go on my way.


Another time, Wal-Mart parking lot, I'm walking out of the store, and am in the pedestrial crossing thing with all the stripped white lines and crossing the store. Some guy in a mini-van, driving fairly quickly, doesn't stop for me, and instead I have to stop in the middle of the road. As he passing, I sort of go limp at the knees, a sort-of Steve Martin-ish "Well excuse me!" type of gesture. The van continues on. I thought it was kind of funny and nothing like shouting at him, or flicking him off, spitting on his van --- It was a totally cartoonish and the goofiest thing anyone could do in that situation.

I get in my car, and am getting thing in order. The next thing I know, someone pounds on my windshield. I look over to see the man at my window screaming, "You got a fucking problem? You got a fucking problem?" (Yeah, asshole, you are at my window yelling at me in a Wal-Mart parking lot)

So I put the window down and just keep repeating, "Get the fuck away from my car." as he starts screaming, "Get out! Get out!" I look behind me and he's parked behind me, blocking me in.

He reaches in my car to try to take swipes at me, so I unlatch my door and kick it open pushing him back several feet. It's about this time I notice the dude is pretty freaking big.

Well, needless to say, that didn't help matters. He's going nuts now. So I size up the spot I'm in, the distance of his van, and that there's no car. I'm in a Tercel, which are really small cars, and decide I can make it out of the spot with proper maneuvering. So I gun it in reverse, stop short of his van, cut the wheel, cut the wheel and start pulling out, but now hear him screaming, "You hit my car! You hit my car!"

I start hauling ass and realize he got a good view of my plate so I stop and get out of my car and ask him what the fuck he's talking about.

"You hit my car! You hit my car!"

There's some younger guy in the parking lot, near me, and I look over and ask, "Are you seeing this?"

Well, that guy is a douchebag and says, "Yeah but you fucked up. You hit his car."

I realize I'm not getting anywhere and get back in my car and drive off.

When I get home, I realize that this probably isn't over and decide to go back. Sure enough, I get there and there's two squad cars and cops talking to the guy. I'm in a different car at the time, so the guy doesn't see me.

I park a few aisles over and walk up to the scene. There's a policeman standing back from the one who is talking to the guy and I say, "Excuse me, sir."

Then I proceed to tell the policeman what happened. He says that they can't find any damage, have no clue what the guy is freaking out about, and asks me to wait. The officer walks over to the guy and the other policeman, and I hear, "THAT'S HIM! THAT'S HIM." then silence, then finally one of the cops shouts, "Sir, he came back, doesn't that say something to you!?"

The guy de-escalates, and an officer comes back over and says it's a classic case of road rage, and I remember distinctly my Kool-Aid man styled reply of "Ooohh yeah!" He says what he wants to do is just have us shake hands and leave it at that.

So they talk to the guy some more and eventually he walks over and I make the first apology. He doesn't reply, and keep in mind this guy is considerably larger than me. I was feeling a little confident with the police presence, and just decide to get the last word in and say, "You know man, if you want to ever settle this I spare at the USF gym every Sunday, so there's no reason we can't act like men about this." The guy's face just goes blank and I say, "Take it easy." I pass by the cops and they are both about to crack up and we all give the single nod to one another.


Do tell that one.

I've never pissed a cop off by my driving. But, I left a Journey concert one night, completely wasted and still pumped up from what I had just rocked out to for 90 minutes. I was walking to the car with my friends, when for some reason I decided to headbutt a car in the lot. As I walked away the window goes down, "son will you come here?" I looked back and started to say "fuck off" when I realized it was an unmarked cop car. He asked what I was doing, I told him I had just seen Journey. There was a very small dent on his car, he said "next time you headbutt a car, make sure it's not a cop. Now get the fuck outta here." I was surprised he let me go.

I've also been pulled over tripping on mushrooms without any identification, proof of insurance, or registration.

That's awesome, but Journey? I love me some Steve Perry as much as the next guy, but... you were that charged up over Journey? Please tell me you were actually just really, really drunk. :)

I'd never been stopped in a car, but one time me and a group of maybe 8 people were walking late at night, on 'cid and were stopped by a policeman who asked what we were doing. "Going on a walk."

Keep in mind, we were about 19 - 23 in age range, a mix of guys and girls, not very far away from the college.

A couple in the group explained we were just out walking, getting some fresh air, not causing any problems.

I think the policeman is satisfied with this, but out of nowhere this one gal, who actually had a psychotic breakdown later this night, and the next day sold all her stuff and moved to England (I had just met her that night) --- She starts throwing civil rights at this cops. The guy honestly wasn't doing anything bad - we were a large group, he couldn't size us up and yes we were suspicious wandering around this neighborhood this late at night. I believe the police officer had every right to just see what was going on.

Well, she's screaming at him about violations of rights, and loss of freedom.

I'm not sure exactly how that ended, because all but her best friend just walked off. We met back up with her at the apartment and I avoided her for the next several hours.

The cop road rage incident:

One day I was going to pick my wife up from work. Her exit was coming up and I was on the interstate. The freeway was backed up, so I waited and waited until the merge ended to the right, and the double lines cleared so I could get over into the Exit Only lane. Finally I do, but as I do, this blue early 80s trans-am/firebird/camero or whatever pulls out like 10 cars behind me crosses the lines to get in that lane. I figure they aren't going to gun it, so I go on my way, and the next thing I know, they fly around me and get into the narrowing merge lane.

I should have let her just pass, but I decide to gun it. Next thing I know she wedges against my car, instead of just backing off. We are going down the interstate with her on the shoulder and me in the lane. She doesn't back off. I'm looking over at her and she's flicking me the bird, screaming at me. Finally I realize how stupid things are so I just back off.

She gets in front of me and flicks me off again. So I respond with that gesture people do with their hand, mouth and tongue, to imply a blowjob. She SLAMS on her brakes. Oops. I hit her, but not very hard. She starts pounding her fist in a "Yes! Yes!" fashion and keeps moving. I'm pretty pissed because not only had she sideswiped me, now she cause me to rear-end her. (keep in mind, she was apparently in a hurry before all this started) So I gun my car and go around her on the shoulder, stopping in front of her. I get out and walk to the car and say as politely as I can, "Ma'am, we need to exchange insurance info."

Out comes a police badge - very legitimate looking, complete with photo ID and all the trimmings. She says something to the effect of, "You need to get back in your car and we need to get off the freeway."

I say there's a gas station at the next exit and to meet me there. We both travel there, and I'm pretty much screwed, I'm realizing. No matter if I win in this situation, I'm going to lose. Likely she knows people who knows people, and just filing a claim against her, even charging her with road rage is only going to open her up for retaliation. I decide all I can really do is "Yes ma'am her to death."

We get to the gas station, she gets out first, and then I get out. The first words out of her mouth, "Well your a real asshole, aren't you?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"You still sure you want to run this through insurance?"

"I don't think that'd be a good idea."

"Yeah, I thought so."

I ask her if her car is okay, and it is since she was in an old car and I was in a newer one. Then I ask if she's okay. She doesn't show any concern for me.

Always having to get one more in, before I leave, I ask, "Ma'am, can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"This exit here? Was this the one you were going to take off?"

She just looks at me, knowing damn well that the only reason she got into the exit only lane was to speed past all the cars backed up on the freeway and cut back over at the last minute. I just say, "Never mind."

I get in my car, pick up my wife who immediately asks about the blue paint all over the side. She gets an overview of what happens and lays into me a bit (rightfully, as she always is) -- I get home and buff the paint out, no damage there, which was cool since that was all her fault; however, my front passenger side headlight still rattles a bit on bumpy roads, which is cool since that was my fault.

That story is a double wammy - COPS abusing power, road rage -- make it triple whammy if you want to be a jerk and perpetrate stereotypes about drivers who can't gauge speed, distance, or space. What? I mean most people who drive sports cars, that shouldn't be! Sheesh!