The John Cusack/Pie Saga

[Tweek]

If it so pleases everyone, I'd like to continue it here. Sure, John Cusack is in talking pictures but this thread seems more appropriate here.

[jackson13]

Before you continue I think you need to catch people up.

John Cusack is one of my favorite actors so I feel the need to be clued in on whatever this is regarding.

[Tweek]

Two of our long-time Schmoes one day went a little crazy with Photoshop...I'm not even sure what comment sparked it but it had to do with John Cusack and pie.

This is the latest one I saw:

http://www.joblo.com/forums/pictures/6866/image_8b74510a.jpg

[Reigh Kaufman]

This is from the Current/Upcoming Horror board. The thread, believe it or not, is about the impending Rob Zombie: Halloween 2 movie.

Two genius Schmoes pounced on a throwaway/nonsensical remark about John Cusack and pie.

The result was the most abstract, funny and downright ridiculous series of photoshopped posts ever.

Genius is a word thrown around too often...but genius it was/is.

Vive la thread.

[The Postmaster General]

Nice.

I'd actually saved and archived these to my hard drive and can past it in here for catchup...

BRB.

EDIT: Actually no, I forwarded it to some friends, I'll just use that content and leave it here.

[The Postmaster General]

http://www.joblo.com/forums/pictures/6866/image_2f9d65cd.jpg

I heard he was contractually obligated to do this PSA. That makes sense since I just found this out:

"On his way to Blockbuster video to rent the unrated versions of Rob Zombie's films for his upcoming marathon, John Cusack was ambushed by reporters after his sister Joan Cusack reported to Rosie O'Donnell's answering machine that her brother's phobia to pie was a lie. Cusack refused to acknowledge the apple pie which had been left on his doorstep by the director Rob Zombie."

http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x53/cosmicpuppet/CusackP.jpg

What are you gonna believe some shit the press prints, or are you going to go by the man's words himself? Do you believe everything you read? I bet you also believe Billy Mayes when he says MendIt™ works, and fucking gets laughed out when their ass shows after their backside falls out because MendIt doesn't work. You should probably get some facts before you start talking.

http://www.joblo.com/forums/pictures/6866/image_91b9a8c9.jpg

Well, where the hell do you think that pie came from, the reporter's asshole? You think the reporters fabricated a pie and tried saying that it was left on Cusack's porch by Rob Zombie? Are you saying EVERY reporter lied? What kind of a grand conspiracy are you writing Bubba? I don't believe in that shit. Go post that in the Loose Change forums.

Anyways, even if it IS true, that profile was written when he was a teen idol. The man is allowed to change his mind if he wants to. Cusack has evolved to the point where he doesn't have to hide his secret anymore because of his hunk status. He is fond of pie and has been for years and he doesn't have to hide it anymore. I applaud his bravery for being so honest about it.

Then would you care to back that up with some proof? Because as recently as November of last year, Cusack brought up the pie issue again. In fact, it's largely the reason he was campaigning in support of President Obama.

http://www.joblo.com/forums/pictures/6866/image_de1ad2a3.jpg

I'm sorry, but Cusack is obviously just trying to cover his tracks. He presents himself as one thing through his interviews, but his actions speak louder than his words. Cusack simply doesn't want the press to know of his secret affair with pies, so he does his best to be outspoken in the media. It's always the last person you suspect. God bless him and his struggle. He may be an outspoken critic, but the camera doesn't lie.

http://www.joblo.com/forums/pictures/35152/image_225f3da2.jpg

I don't know. That looks kind of fake to me. Look, what are you going to believe? Are you going to believe some photos that might possibly be doctored by the press, or are you going to believe seeing the man say it himself?

http://www.joblo.com/forums/pictures/6866/image_9a26b655.jpg

This is clearly a tale of two Cusacks. Cusack's become self-aware and he's simply toying with us. You need to drop it. This isn't going anywhere!!

http://www.libertyfilmfestival.com/libertas/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/p1_jcusack.jpg

Okay fine, but I'd rather not believe that Cusack is just toying with us like he toyed with playing Hunter Thompson. I guess we are just going to have to agree to disagree. I'm fine with dropping it.

http://www.joblo.com/forums/pictures/6866/image_91b7b4cd.jpg



Here are the posts outlining the debate, with the pictures in their original context:

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3045248&postcount=1264

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3045256&postcount=1265

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3045257&postcount=1266

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3045258&postcount=1267

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3045259&postcount=1268

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3045261&postcount=1269

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3045265&postcount=1270

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3045267&postcount=1271

[jackson13]

Is there any chance someone personally knows John Cusack and show him all of this? He's the type of guy I can tell would laugh his ass off and love the hell out of all of it.

[The Postmaster General]

I believe this is something best left not to find Cusack, but for Cusack to find it.

I'm not sure his feelings for pie can be so easily spoken of.

Someone familiar with this story posted this picture on my Facebook, and it's something that really made me realize how far we've come as a society and how people like Cusack need to rethink their feelings toward pie.

http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs097.snc1/4975_93245448966_697438966_1960588_7940466_n.jpg

[john_rambo]

OK tried to join in the shenanigans!

http://i608.photobucket.com/albums/tt166/rocky13al13oa/americanpiecusack.jpg?t=1246333013

[FireCaptain4]

Guys/gals, I just want you to know that I feel very special about being in on this joke.

Last week (?) I was clued in on this thanks to Reigh, and it made that boring afternoon worth while.

[FireCaptain4]

During a recent photo shoot, Cusack was caught eating. The photographer, we've all heard, was very disgruntled as Cusack tried to wipe his mouth on a scarf he had. This delayed the photoshoot and a new scarf had to be brought in and Cusack had to clean off bits from his shirt. However, despite Cusacks best efforts he couldn't hide what he was feasting upon when the photographer took the first shot of the shoot. The photograph was then cleverly photoshopped to were a coffee cup now appears in the background. The original, I've managed to dig up, though it took a lot of work. Not even TMZ was able to touch this.

[Heisenberg]

Ah yes, this all started from an argument I had going with LordSimen, He mentioned something about John Cusack eating a pie. To which I ellaborated on, and before we knew it CosmicPuppet and Bubba took it to a whole new kickass level.

Does Cusack like pie? I think it's pretty damn obvious he does.

http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/1521/pie2o.jpg (http://img268.imageshack.us/i/pie2o.jpg/)

[The Postmaster General]

Things have spiraled out of control for actor John Cusack and his stance against pie, as he was caught at an all night eatery indulging his sweet tooth.

http://www.joblo.com/forums/pictures/6866/image_595c7534.jpg

[Tweek]

http://www.joblo.com/forums/pictures/6866/image_595c7534.jpg

Oh...my god. :D

[The Postmaster General]

Yep, I got it installed on my laptop I take to work. Like I said, you starting this thread means it just got real. ;)

[The Postmaster General]

http://www.joblo.com/forums/pictures/6866/image_930c4407.jpg

[Danger^Cart]

How did this all start?

[The Postmaster General]

How did this all start?


In this thread - you'd have to go back a bit to get the impidis to the debate, but quite frankly Cosmic started it with his crazy allegations about John Cusack being a closet pie eater, and although I've once deathly placed Cusack as a pastraphobe, more things have come to light.


Here are the posts outlining the debate, with the pictures in their original context:

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3045248&postcount=1264

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3045256&postcount=1265

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3045257&postcount=1266

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3045258&postcount=1267

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3045259&postcount=1268

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3045261&postcount=1269

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3045265&postcount=1270

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3045267&postcount=1271


Can someone with patience bring it in here? I wish you could link to a single post with the thread being continuous, but either you can't or I don't know how.

Anyone who is serious about this long standing rumors on John really needs to understand the full extent.

[Mr.HyDe807]

This was one of the funniest things I have caught up upon in this forum. Keep it up!

[FireCaptain4]

The AmericanPieCusack and night eatery pics keep cracking me up.

[Danger^Cart]

I wasn't sure if it was broader than just this board. Gotcha.

And for the record, I hold that Cusack is an honest man, and most certainly not some damn dirty pie-eater.

[john_rambo]

http://i608.photobucket.com/albums/tt166/rocky13al13oa/scarfacecusack.jpg?t=1246383012

Despite constant denials to the press there was no denying it, Cusack was addicted. Often eating as many as 8 pies without even using a fork. There was no hope...

[The Postmaster General]

Well, shit stick on the bar stool, look who's setting out to cash in on this controversy.

Yep pals, the early stage mock up poster was revealed by the big baseball cap wearing man himself at Pie Fest Minnesota, and no doubt had the crowd more divided then ever.

http://www.joblo.com/forums/pictures/6866/image_5e7057ea.jpg

[g1ng3rsnap9ed]

Best. Thread. Ever. :cool:

[Heisenberg]

http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/2720/hollyshitpies.png (http://img233.imageshack.us/i/hollyshitpies.png/)

[The Postmaster General]

http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/2720/hollyshitpies.png (http://img233.imageshack.us/i/hollyshitpies.png/)


The look of shame on his face. That is so sad.

Nice work on that one. We really need to see the truth.

I'm going to bring in some of the photographic evidence from the previous thread, to keep it all in one place. (see above)

[Cop No. 633]

Alright guys, this isn't funny. Yeah, it started off as a joke, but this is really about a man's life here and his name is John Horatio Cusack. His sister Joan just spoke to the press and released a photo of John when he was just twelve prior to his stay at a mental institute after gorging himself on every pie in his school cafeteria. The experience traumatized the family and they wish that you all stop mocking John's addiction. John Cusack has been in the closet with his pie addiction for most of his life, and has often stained his shirts because his closet doesn't have any light bulbs.

This is the last happy photo ever taken of Cusack and his family before the incident.

http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x53/cosmicpuppet/Cusack-PiePast-1.jpg

[The Postmaster General]

Depp and Gilliam Make Amends
8/14/09

Tempers flared this month as director Terry Gilliam made some remarks slighting the recent film choices of actor Johnny Depp, whom he said, "Better start making some good films."

The two Hollywood A-listers, though, showed no hard feelings toward one another as they continue forward working to promote Gilliam's upcoming movie, in which Depp is set to star.

As a show of camaraderie, the two actors even decided to pull a prank on unsuspecting peer John Cusack, best known for his acting role in which he held a 1980s boom box above his head while standing in front of a junker.

With an invitation sent to the Cusack home, promising a dinner to discuss a potential joint project, Depp and Gilliam got the drop on Cusack who is also an outspoken advocate against the popular American desert, the pie.

Blindfolded and led into the dining room by a servant, Cusack was disappointed to find that the meal that promised to him was nothing but pies.

When asked about the prank, a good spirited Cusack said, "What can I say? I got punk'd. Johnny and Terry are pretty weird guys. They were cool though and ordered me a pizza. I don't know if they were serious about that joint project, but they promised they'd call."

http://www.joblo.com/forums/pictures/6866/image_86374234.jpg
Image captured by onsite photographer, courtesy of Gilliam and Depp - Source, Strangelove AP

[Tweek]

That was awful of them to do. Have they no compassion? :(

[LordSimen]

:D So proud I am.

[The Postmaster General]

:D So proud I am.

I don't know how you can treat this so lightly. You're like a drug dealer who boasts that they sold some good quality shit to an OD'd junkie. I bet you won't be happy until Cusack is facedown in a pile of pies. I'll admit Depp and Gilliam are cool dudes, and I am proud of much of the things they've done, but this is not one of them.

[LordSimen]

I'm proud because it's all part of the plan. ;)

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/2974/jokerpie.jpg

[Mr.HyDe807]

Cusack is a good guy, I know Depp definitely took a slice of his pie, and made it as Cusack's own!

[john_rambo]

There's a scene in this movie where someone pops a cork off a bottle and Michael Douglas catches it just inches away.

I was thinking it was Romancing the Stone, but I just watched it and it's not that movie.

Ideas?

The Great Cork Catch (1994)

Good film, too... snubbed by the Academy (damn Forrest Gump).

Are you sure it wasn't the sequel, The Great Cork Catch 2: Corks on Pluto?

Man,
by time they put out The Great Cork Catch 3: Corks on Goofy,
you could tell that Disney was just milking this franchise for all that they could get.

The Great Cork Catch 3: Corky Romano Corks Back

Yeah, once there was that Studio battle split the franchise it got a little ridiculous. It was like the Return of the Living Dead series vs Night of the Living Dead. It got confusing. I was glad when The Great Cork Catch 4: The Search for the Stork Shaped Cork Fork for Pork was released to bring the series back to it's roots.

That was when I stopped watching the series, to be honest. For me the reboot Cork Catcher: The Cocky Cork Catcher Caught a Corking Case of the Clap in County Cork was a reimagining that revived the series for me.

Kinda like Batman Begins but with less bats and more cork catching.

Honestly though the back story behind the movie being made kind of turned me off to it after I found out how they treated the Actors. John Cusack, as we all know was cast in the role that Michael Douglas made famous in the original series, under the strict contract provision that he would not perform any pie related stunts, and what did they do? Added that Pie Eating contest to the end of the movie, only after firing John Cusack's stunt double. Cusack being the trooper he was, filmed the scene, but was never the same after it. His disgust really showed in that performance really showed in my humble opinion.

http://i608.photobucket.com/albums/tt166/rocky13al13oa/cuasacpieeatingcontest.jpg

[The Postmaster General]

That really is messed up. Poor man.

[The Postmaster General]

http://www.myjoblo.com/images/pictures/6866/image_54646c433.jpg?1253085831

[The Postmaster General]

http://www.myjoblo.com/images/pictures/6866/image_54646c433.jpg?1253085831

???!!!???!!!!!????
http://www.joblo.com/forums/image.php?u=35152&dateline=1245288329

[M5Doss]

John Cusack hates Pie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noV2P4N0gGk

[The Postmaster General]

That was freaking great, but I see what you mean about how horrible it looks when seeing all the deceit Cusack has created when it's put together. The more people who hear the word on this and the more awareness is raised, the more of a chance we will have to save Cusack from his horrible pie eating lies and secrets.

M5Doss, welcome to the board, and don't forget to add the video to your MFC Profile. I've linked it on my Facebook profile and if you don't mind would like to throw it up on my Movie Fan profile. Perhaps in light of the opening of 2012 we will have a chance to show Cusack that his real fans care deeply about him and support him regardless of what he does with pies.

[Tweek]

John Cusack hates Pie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noV2P4N0gGk

That'll do, M5Doss...That'll do. :D


Thank you for doing it.

[Cop No. 633]

That was great M5Doss. I thoroughly enjoyed that.

Now we're getting somewhere. I thought the fight was over for Cusack but now everybody can know about his problem and he can get the help he deserves. He gave us so many hits, isn't it time we gave back as Cusie fans?

I don't want to say this too early, but there may be a way we can help.

[john_rambo]

It's John Cusack's pie addiction as manifested into a person.

http://i608.photobucket.com/albums/tt166/rocky13al13oa/cusackthismangun.jpg

Always staring behind his back when he thinks he is alone, because he knows that the bastard is there.