Revenge Stories

[RicochetShaw]

This was a favorite thread of mine back in the old original Misc forum, so I thought a reincarnation would be fun too.

Anyone have any good ones? Please, regale us.



An acquaintance from college really upset me by doing something I'd rather not talk about here, but to get back at him I took a wee in his face wash (an idea I actually got from that old thread). I realize that was passive-aggressive, and pretty low, but I don't regret it. I was really upset.

[Preston_79]

A friend of mine would jack off in his old roommates conditioner bottle. I believe this was his revenge for the roommate being in loud obnoxious asshole.


after a nasty breakup with an old girlfriend I would let the air out of her tires a few times when I saw her car parked unattended. I would also peel out on her front lawn on my way home from parties. Very immature shit that I do kind of regret. Kind of.

I also got into it with her father where I told him I took his daughters virginity. Her father was minister. That I definitely don't regret. That was one of the best moments of my entire life.:D

[John Galt]

This girl I used to know got revenge on her boyfriend who cheated on her by saying she had chlimidia(sp?), which was a complete lie. And she stated that he had better go get himself checked out.

What happens in a test for chlimidia is that they put a q-tip through your peehole all the way into your urethra. I've had a foley cathater put in before while concious(never again) and it was one of the most excruciatingly painful moments of my life.

The chlimidia test is supposed to be even worse,

[NathanRomano]

OK, kind of a revenge story- more of a full throttled badass story.

My friends dad is a total badass. Jimmy Buffet made him breakfast once, David Carradine got drunk with him once. More on that later, though.

So he's in high school. Senior year. He goes to his girlfriends, who's in College, work for lunch. He doesn't see her car there so he assumes she's at home. He gets there and she's not there either. Now he's confused. He goes back to her work and sees her pulling up back to work with an old boyfriend. Who just happens to be a cop. The cops in full uniform, and now my dad knows whats up. He pops the trunk and gets a tire iron out. He walks right up to the passenger window and says 'Get the fuck out'. The pussy cop steps out of the car and my friends dad with one clean swing hits him in the face with the tire iron, knocking him out. He gets in his car and drives off.

Another one, real fast. He's a pharmacist, so he has to transport all of these perscription drugs. He has his hand trunk full of them. He's doing a late night delivery in this parking lot. This real sketch guy comes up and starts babbling. He goes:
"I've got about 50 pounds of metal here, and if you take another step, it's gonna be in your face."

[Badbird]

I worked with a guy a few years ago named Lance. He had cystic fibrosis, which meant he had mucus building up and had to hack it up a lot.

He drove around in a van, and one day this douche in a sports car cut him off big time. So Lance follows this guy for a long time (he had nothing else to do).

Thirty miles or so later, sports car guy stops off at a Home Depot or some shit. After he's in the store, Lance takes his styrofoam cup that he had been hocking snot globs in all day (it was hot, so it was all nice and congealed into one super-sized snot) and slowly pours the whole cup over the guy's door handle.

[QUENTIN]

I was pretty head over heels, in a childish way, for a girl I dated all of my freshman year of high school, she ended up cheating on me with this racist, gang-affiliated douchebag who was essentially already my rival. She broke my heart, in 14-year-old terms anyway, and I had a pretty crappy summer getting over her.

The douchebag is now serving a life sentence for murder, and is HIV positive.

The girl lives with her parents, has gained over 50 pounds and has two kids by two different fathers, neither of which she's still with.

I'm going to my top choice grad school on a free ride and date a girl cooler and better looking than she ever was.

I guess I didn't play a hand in either of their downfalls, but I feel like life and karma got revenge in a big way for me. Success being the best revenge and all.

Of acts I've actually played a part in, I had an RA freshman year of college who wrote my friends and I up over 50 times over the course of the school year for various, mostly bullshit violations. It was very personal vendetta-ish and inappropriate, she basically hated us because we had more fun than her. The day we moved out, we "tsunami'd" her, which is to say filled a trash can with stale beer, cheap booze, and urine and leaned it against her door so the next day when she woke up, it spilled into her room and I assume all over her. If I were slightly more mature, I'd probably feel bad about it now, but luckily I'm not there yet.

[Cop No. 633]

I manipulated a situation so that somebody would get the beating of a life time. Let me start off by saying that I’m generally a nice guy, but this person truly deserved it.

What did this person do to me? He was once a good friend of mine who stabbed me in the back by deliberately hooking up with a girl I was seeing and he talked shit behind my back to a mutual friend. It didn’t bug me so much about the girl, but it pissed me off that somebody who is your friend would go behind your back in that way. I knew him for about two years at that point. On top of this situation, he turned into a thief who began to steal stuff from whoever he found “annoying.” In actuality, that meant most people. Luckily, I never found anything missing, but I ended up hearing it from other people about how he would steal from them. He harbored nothing but negative energy and turned into a troll. It really pissed me off because he was once pretty cool, but he slowly transformed into a greedy, sorry excuse of a human being.

So about a week after I stopped hanging out with him, he happens to brag to a girl who lived by me that he stole an iPod from a mutual friend of ours named Will (I actually warned him not to hang out with the guy before this happened). The girl ends up seeing me that day and tells me about it. I told her to tell Will. She wasn't going to, but I convinced her to. She finally did. I then heard from Will that he and his two brothers hung out with the thief and drove him out to spot. They confronted him about the iPod and the guy lied to their face and said he didn't have it, so they checked his backpack and they found it on him. The guy tried running away but they got him and beat the living shit out of him. I heard he had to get stitches and that he ran away from them. I heard he actually cried that night.

I saw him not long after that. He was a changed person. He wasn’t as cocky and acted a bit more humble. I had a slight smile. I still don’t talk to him to this day. And I don’t feel any remorse about what happened because I honestly think he would have kept stealing if he hadn't gotten that reality check. I'm glad I manipulated that to go down the way it did. You don't steal from your friends. You don’t talk behind people’s backs. And most of all, don't fuck over somebody who's supposedly a "good" friend.

[Tonkuro]

My old roommate was a stupid alcoholic fuck, and had parties during the weeknights lasting until 3AM, at a time when I had to get to work by 6AM. Now, I have a high threshold for idiocy, but then he was so drunk he pissed in the bath tub of our shared bathroom. When he was out at work one day I went and changed the locks out and kept it shut off while I was gone from work. So, everytime he had to take a shit when I wasn't home, he had to go across the street to the neighbors. He couldn't complain either, because at the time only my name was on the lease.

I also convinced one of my ex-boyfriends (fresh after the breakup) that it wasn't as muddy as it looked and that it was okay to park his beloved Pontiac Fiero there. Well, it wasn't, and it sank all the way to the door. It took a F350 to pull it out of there, and the rest of the week he had dirt clods smacking up against his car and making noise.

Don't regret either of these incidents.

[Preston_79]

I once ran a sharp pencil through a kids Air Jordans that he left in the coat closet. Right through the air pocket in the heel. I was probably seven years old. Very fucked up thing to to to such an awesome pair of shoes. He was devastated.