G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

[Bourne101]

http://l.yimg.com/k/omg/us/img/75/d2/5029_7841343514.jpg?y=660&x=616&q=75&n=0&sig=kPusgcnbqWpvM0CdGFxbHg--

Directed by Stephen Sommers

Written by Stuart Beattie, David Elliot and Paul Lovett

Genre: Action

http://l.yimg.com/k/omg/us/img/fd/22/5974_2295271033.jpg?y=660&x=616&q=75&n=0&sig=7l6422ZYM9QVBvEGUUPciA--

Plot Outline: From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite G.I. JOE team uses the latest in next-generation spy and military equipment to fight the corrupt arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra organization to prevent them from plunging the world into chaos.

http://l.yimg.com/k/omg/us/img/2f/01/1326_11569338664.jpg?y=660&x=616&q=75&n=0&sig=iW_po19NinE6P.EAn9.lmg--

Starring: Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Ray Park, Rachel Nichols

Rated PG-13 for strong sequences of action violence and mayhem throughout.

Runtime: 117 minutes

Looks like crap, but I've been hearing some semi-decent things about it. I'll probably check it out, but with extremely low expectations.

[ilovemovies]

This will probably have great action and lousy dialogue and acting. Not entirely unlike the Transformers movies except hopefully Sommers will be less headache inducing than Michael Bay.

[Tweek]

lol @ Sienna Miller's pose on the poster.

Anyway, I probably won't see it. Looks very 'meh'. Not even Christopher Eccleston can put my arse in a seat for this.

[athf1980]

I will probably go see this. I have nothing better to do in Huron,SD

[MisterTwister]

If I have some cash I'll go see it for sure. Looks like fun.

Running time is 117 minutes BTW.

[Bourne101]

Running time is 117 minutes BTW.

Thanks.

[Weapon X]

6 reviews in and it's averaging an 83% on Rotten Tomatoes (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gi_joe/). Even the AICN crew is saying it's surprisingly good.

[razgriz21]

This will probably have great action and lousy dialogue and acting. Not entirely unlike the Transformers movies except hopefully Sommers will be less headache inducing than Michael Bay.

Don't count on it.

Sommers makes Bay look like Kubrick.

At least Bay puts on an entertaining show with flaws.

Every movie Sommers has been involved in since The Mummy feels like a cartoon.

Channing Tatum?! You got to be kidding me and those awful accelerator suits.

Just like I suspected. The critics play pity party with Sommers and release there hate against Michael Bay. Oh well.

[Mr.HyDe807]

I was gonna probably see this regardless of good/bad reviews, but Chud's surprisingly positive review has definitely got me interested. I'll try to make it opening day.

Plus, I'm really interested in how Joseph Gordon Levitt will play as Cobra Commander.

[KCJ506]

Here's a recap of all the positive reviews I've found.

http://www.latinoreview.com/movie-reviews/g-i-joe-the-rise-of-cobra-702

http://chud.com/articles/articles/20306/1/REVIEW-GI-JOE---THE-RISE-OF-COBRA/Page1.html

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/41870

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/41748

http://www.latinoreview.com/news/f-you-haters-el-guapo-saw-g-i-joe-and-loved-it-7551

http://www.latinoreview.com/news/readers-review-g-i-joe-the-rise-of-cobra-7397

http://www.collider.com/2009/07/15/steve-has-seen-director-stephen-sommers-gijoe-the-rise-of-cobra-and-says-its-the-cartoon-come-to-life/

http://www.yojoe.com/reviews/moviereview.shtml#review

http://www.iesb.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=7211:movie-review-gi-joe-the-rise-of-cobra-&catid=41:news&Itemid=71

Even the front page has one.

I'm so glad that it's getting good reviews. For a good year... everything that was being said about this movie was nothing but negative garbage. People were making it out to be the worst thing that had happened in modern cinema WHEN THEY HADN'T SEEN A SINGLE FRAME OF THE FILM.

[enver]

this is going to be crap but i'm still there.

[bigred760]

I'm feeling better about going to see it after reading the positive things about the movie. I was going to go see it regardless, but wasn't too excited about it until just recently.

[Badbird]

I have a feeling that this is the kind of movie that most people will expect to be crap, yet will end up pleasantly surprised by.

I think it looks cool; I don't get why people are so down on it. It's freaking GI Joe for crying out loud, not Shakespeare. I was never a huge fan of the cartoon, but I watched it because it was always on after Transformers. I also like Stephen Sommers more than most people, it would seem. I've enjoyed pretty much anything I've seen by him.

Are the "accelerator suits" really any worse than the jetpacks they always flew around in?

[echo_bravo]

Gotta love Sienna's ass in that poster yummy:cool:

I will be seeing this even though my gut tells me that I'll be wasting my money.

Does anyone know how big of a part Joesph Gordon Levitt will have?

[Jig Saw 123]

I find it funny that G.I. Joe is getting praised for being a cheesy action comedy while Transformers got the opposite. The film honestly looks bad, but for some reason I still want to see it. I guess this will be the guilty pleasure of the year.

[CuatroDiablos]

I find it funny that G.I. Joe is getting praised for being a cheesy action comedy while Transformers got the opposite. The film honestly looks bad, but for some reason I still want to see it. I guess this will be the guilty pleasure of the year.


Maybe because Transformers 2 is not funny at all and from the clips I´ve seen from GI Joe the actions scenes are a lot better and you can actually tell wtf is going on.

[razgriz21]

I find it funny that G.I. Joe is getting praised for being a cheesy action comedy while Transformers got the opposite. The film honestly looks bad, but for some reason I still want to see it. I guess this will be the guilty pleasure of the year.

I find it sad.

At least Michael Bay tries despite flaws.

However, people just love to feel sorry for Stephen Sommers. Makes no sense.

At least Transformers had mostly real military gear and U.S. Armed Forces involvement.

Not to mention, Rise of Cobra's CGI looks well.... laughable.

[ilovemovies]

I think Sommers is alright. The only movie of his that I didn't like was Van Helsing. But The Mummy and The Mummy Returns were both awesome. Deep Rising was a guilty pleasure. And I haven't seen it since I was a kid, but I remember thinking his live action version of The Jungle Book was okay. But that is one I need to rewatch.

And G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra looks like it'll be the absolute definition of the term dumb fun. Or like Deep Rising, another guilty pleasure.

[Strider]

G.I. Joe doesn't look very good, but I'm hoping it's a guilty pleasure at the very least. I'm going to watch this with friends on the weekend.

And what have they done to Sienna Miller's breasts? Her breasts look much bigger in this film than in real life. Whatever...I'm only curious.

Strider

[Jig Saw 123]

Maybe because Transformers 2 is not funny at all and from the clips I´ve seen from GI Joe the actions scenes are a lot better and you can actually tell wtf is going on.

I'm not attempting to defend Transformers 2, but seriously G.I. Joe looks laughable in a bad way meaning unintentional comedy. I mean the scene with the micro organisms eating the Eiffel Tower looks terrible. The action scenes in G.I. Joe look over the top because unlike Transformers we're watching human characters do the impossible. Also I think the action sequences in Revenge of the Fallen were good you could at least see what was happening.

I find it sad.

At least Michael Bay tries despite flaws.

However, people just love to feel sorry for Stephen Sommers. Makes no sense.

At least Transformers had mostly real military gear and U.S. Armed Forces involvement.

Not to mention, Rise of Cobra's CGI looks well.... laughable.

Agree on all points here. Michael Bay films have a history of being weak on dialogue, overall plot and just over the top action. The Mummy was a great movie, but G.I. looks to be kicking things into high gear. I mean the Cobra underwater facility looks fake as hell.

[gyro_44]

Just like I suspected. The critics play pity party with Sommers and release there hate against Michael Bay. Oh well.
I doubt the critics are going to play pity party with Sommers at this point. They have pretty much lambasted his movies from the start, especially his most recent, Van Helsing. Why would they start being nice now all of a sudden? Plus, everyone and their grandmother has been ripping on the film for months now. I don't see how he's getting a free pass.

I'm guessing they actually like the movie. And I can understand the hate against Michael Bay, because in my opinion Transformers 2 was a crass, tedious, stupid piece of shit. My hats off to everyone involved with the technical stuff. Some amazing work. But, I barely had any fun at all.

GI Joe is looking more and more like good dumb fun, and I hope that's what it turns out to be. The early word on the street seems to be surprisingly positive too. I'll be seeing this at some point.

[Jig Saw 123]

I don't understand what gets labeled as "good dumb fun" these days. TF2 was dumb fun and an overall dumb movie. G.I. Joe looks like a cheese fest which in turn is a cheesy and dumb movie kind of like Van Helsing. I guess Drag Me to Hell can be labeled as dumb fun, but that was also a dumb movie.

[project 86]

I find it sad.

At least Michael Bay tries despite flaws.

However, people just love to feel sorry for Stephen Sommers. Makes no sense.

At least Transformers had mostly real military gear and U.S. Armed Forces involvement.

Not to mention, Rise of Cobra's CGI looks well.... laughable.

i will tell you why TF2's tv spots and trailers showed it as a dark serious transformers film while gi joe did not lie and try to be something it is not

[Jig Saw 123]

i will tell you why TF2's tv spots and trailers showed it as a dark serious transformers film while gi joe did not lie and try to be something it is not

So being in the open that a film will be crap is better than a film that attempts to hide that it is in fact crap?

[project 86]

Yup because audiences don't like to be tricked Watchmen proved this there reaction to a film that they were lied about will be more ruthless then a film they know will be bad.

[anakinsrise]

Just like Transformers G.I JOE was such a big part of my childhood even if the reviews were 100% bad i would see it

[Jig Saw 123]

Yup because audiences don't like to be tricked Watchmen proved this there reaction to a film that they were lied about will be more ruthless then a film they know will be bad.

So your implying that a studio knows that a movie is crap so they choose to hide it so their film doesn't flop. So a movie like Watchmen sucked, but the studio made it look better than it actually was in the trailer? Sorry but that makes no sense. Some people think Watchmen was a good movie while others like myself not so much. When I watched the trailer for TF2 I knew what to expect. I don't know how you got the feeling that the film would be dark and serious when you have two mentally challenged robots in the trailer confessing their illiteracy. G.I. Joe doesn't look like good fun it looks like cheesy action/drama with some miscast characters.

[project 86]

umm no that is not what i said lol

just saying fans dont like to be tricked into seeing a film that pretends to be something and it is really something else

[Badbird]

It's hard to pick one, but I think this is my favorite GI Joe PSA. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-_Sls1LzMI)

[Mr.HyDe807]

It's hard to pick one, but I think this is my favorite GI Joe PSA. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-_Sls1LzMI)

Definitely Badbird. With a close second to porkchop sandwiches.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1BDM1oBRJ8

[Mikey2Dope]

It'll probably be dumb fun like everyone is saying, but that's why I won't be seeing it. I refuse to pay money to watch my childhood get raped. Marlon Wayons? Fuck that shit.

[Rukas]

It was actually pretty good I saw it last night. Its a fun movie, no need to take it too seriously. The villains were the biggest cartoon elements. Its not great, but it is entertaining and it is good. The action and laughs are on point. Better than Transformers 2.

A lot of the time I see people say "oh it isnt great" and that means it is terrible but really, no, in this case, it IS great at what it sets out to do and be, it achieves it well, it is entertaining, the action and gadgets are awesome, so are the effects, but it's not like Godfather great, nor does it try to be.

[Spidey]

I expected a kids movie with a lot of bad CGI but instead I saw a damn good movie !! It's all action from start to finish with some great looking effects.The chase in Paris was the highlight for me. Sommers can direct action very well to my surprise.Although the final battle with the submarines went a little too long. But in the end it was a very good movie to end the summer with. Never thought I would say this but bring on the sequel !

9/10

[g05]

so how much Cobra Commander do we see and does he look good in the outfit? all the trailers out there have too much Destro(without mask i might add) and not enough C.C.

[Spidey]

If I told you i would spoil the movie, but trust me, Cobra Commander makes an appearance.

[g05]

If I told you i would spoil the movie, but trust me, Cobra Commander makes an appearance.

ok, i saw the midnight showing. movie overall was fun. there were a few things with the characters i wished they did differently though.

[ilovemovies]

Dumb but fun. It's definitely a LOT better and more fun than both Transformers flicks. Channing Tatum is actually pretty cool in this. And good lord, Sienna Miller is SEXY as hell!

7/10

[athf1980]

4/5

a solid popcorn movie. the chase sequence in paris is nice.

[KCJ506]

Haven't seen the movie yet, but check out Ebert's review.

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090807/REVIEWS/908079997

He basically insults anyone who likes the movie. This is something I expect from internet trolls. Professionals should not be acting this way. I'm sick of the idea that because someone is a "professional" movie watcher means that they should dictate what other people watch, or that their opinion is better than everyone else's. And given that Transformers 2 is one of the most successful movies ever despite being one of the worst reviewed this year, I think the general audience is getting fed up with the elitist attitudes of many critics too.

Critics are an important part of the industry and I don't want them to become irrelevant. However, they are only driving themselves into irrelevance when they insult people's intelligence just because they find a lowbrow action movie entertaining, and that's not benefiting anyone. By endorsing the elitist idea that there are "good movie watchers" and the rest are the drooling masses, they are only giving those "drooling masses" all more reason to ignore them.

[g05]

Haven't seen the movie yet, but check out Ebert's review.

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090807/REVIEWS/908079997

He basically insults anyone who likes the movie. This is something I expect from internet trolls. Professionals should not be acting this way. I'm sick of the idea that because someone is a "professional" movie watcher means that they should dictate what other people watch, or that their opinion is better than everyone else's. And given that Transformers 2 is one of the most successful movies ever despite being one of the worst reviewed this year, I think the general audience is getting fed up with the elitist attitudes of many critics too.

Critics are an important part of the industry and I don't want them to become irrelevant. However, they are only driving themselves into irrelevance when they insult people's intelligence just because they find a lowbrow action movie entertaining, and that's not benefiting anyone. By endorsing the elitist idea that there are "good movie watchers" and the rest are the drooling masses, they are only giving those "drooling masses" all more reason to ignore them.

... well until i make 6.3 million dollars a month after taxes for doing absolutely nothing except posting on this forum... i'm going to have to ignore any opinions from Mr. Ebert. :p

[Bourne101]

That review was pretty fair, didn't really insult anyone. He basically just trashed the movie and said it was the equivalent of Transformers (with even more random explosions) but it was nicer to look at.

Sounds like this movie is just as crappy as it looked from the trailers. I really have no idea why I am seeing it tomorrow night. I may just see Funny People or Harry Potter again.

[DME]

It is sure to be enjoyed by those whose movie appreciation is defined by the ability to discern that moving pictures and sound are being employed to depict violence.

That's... really not much of an insult. Brush it off, folks. Brush it off...

[NuclearMisfit]

Actually its not really that bad of a movie (which Im very surprised I liked the film as much as I did) but lets say the devils in the writing.

The Cobra Commander reveal is really really crap.

[ElderPredator]

Just got back from the movie......FUCKING LOVED IT! :)

I think all the early haters and nasty bloggers of the net should go to Stephen Sommers' home this weekend and form a line-up so each one can kiss his ass one at a time. The movie was an absolute blast and I can't stress that enough.

It was fast-paced, incredible action scenes (the forest and Paris battles were amazing), a great story and some very sweet characters. A solid acting job from almost everyone (with the exception of Dennis Quaid who didn't quite fit the bill for me). One thing I must say....Sienna Miller is HOT AS FUCK in this movie! (I'm serious, every scene with her was sexier than the one before it and she played a great villainess). Marlon Wayans was very cool and had some very funny lines and Ray Park kicked all kinds of ass as Snake Eyes.

My final word on the movie.....I CAN'T WAIT FOR A SEQUEL!

Final Rank: 9/10 (That's right Mr. Bay, the Joe's beat your Transformers fair and square!)

[Dr.Frankenstein]

Saw it tonight @ the local Drive In on the Huge screen! *** 1/2 outta 5 stars solid film -action packed - features some really cool new gear/weapons-BUT a bit confusing...Cobra leader a bit lackluster-has the feel /stage sets akin to a James Bond film at times -But in the end-it works.

[razgriz21]

OK, I refuse to see this movie but I'm tired of Ebert's insults.

Now, I just read Richard Roeper's reviews. At least he isn't so rude.

[ilovemovies]

SPOILERS!








I could have done without the twist involving the President at the end though I must say. To me, it felt tacked on. An unneccessary cliffhanger for the sequel.

[Mystique963]

Fuck Ebert. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a movie he recommended.

I am utterly and completely ashamed of myself, but I really REALLY enjoyed the movie. Admittedly I am not, nor was I ever, a fan of GI Joe. That being said, I went into the movie with not huge expectations (the dude walking into the theatre in full Cobra Commander garb was entertaining). I think keeping low expectations and seeing it if your in need of some good 'ol popcorn fun is the way to go.

Channing Tatum has the acting depth of a can of paint as far as I'm concerned, but fortunatly for him his charactor really didn't require much more. The rest of Joe's were awesome (my insides cheered everytime Snake Eyes walked on screen, the man is BADASS!!!) Sienna Miller was impressive in her role and someone back me up; is SOOOO much hotter as a brunette? Anyone? My lord, unreal. :)

The action scenes were long, intense, and what was lacking in the CGI is easily overlooked. The chase scene in Paris was very impressive and the numerous final fight scenes were very enjoyable.

As far as the Transformers argument, I think we had some higher expectations going into the sequal than this one. I enjoyed this movie more than Transformers but I don't really know if it was actually a better movie... have to think about it.

All in all, well played movie! Something in it for any movie buff (except Ebert that is, did I mention fuck him?)

*** out of **** or B.

[jbar1026]

good movie 8/10.

i only had a couple of issues.... spoilers kinda....



first i hated that during snake eyes and storm shadows flashbacks they used those names as kids

then when cobra commander put on his mask it was the stupidest looking thing ever.

and then i didnt liked how cobra commander was human!

i also thought that the movie was overly fantastical the gaint sea base and the joe base are prime examples. not that i dont understand that in the cartoon they had these types of things. but the suits were too much...cool but still to much.

lastly why for the love of jesus did snake eyes mask have all those facial details it looked as bad as cobra commanders final mask


but overall the movie was fun and action packed from start to finish. well paced and had just enough humor.

[Lord Raiden]

The Good:
Pretty cool action scenes. Decent and overused at times CGI. Baroness was hot as hell, as she should be. Zartan was really cool. SE vs. SS fights were well done and SE stole the show as expected.
Edit: The fucking Night Raven. My favorite vehicle from back in the day gets represented well.

The Bad:
Duke. Being my favorite chracter really pains me to say this. Not only am I not impressed with Tatum's performance, I still think they should have cast this character as a man in his early 30s.
The opening scene from 1641 (I think). It could have been a deleted scene. In Destro's first scene, he pretty much says what we watched for 6 or 7 minutes.
The backstory of Duke/Baroness/Rex really brought the rating down.
They messed with the history a little too much.
I'm down for a sequel, though.

7 out of 10.

[SteeleDude]

Haven't seen the movie yet, but check out Ebert's review.

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090807/REVIEWS/908079997

He basically insults anyone who likes the movie. This is something I expect from internet trolls. Professionals should not be acting this way. I'm sick of the idea that because someone is a "professional" movie watcher means that they should dictate what other people watch, or that their opinion is better than everyone else's. And given that Transformers 2 is one of the most successful movies ever despite being one of the worst reviewed this year, I think the general audience is getting fed up with the elitist attitudes of many critics too.

Critics are an important part of the industry and I don't want them to become irrelevant. However, they are only driving themselves into irrelevance when they insult people's intelligence just because they find a lowbrow action movie entertaining, and that's not benefiting anyone. By endorsing the elitist idea that there are "good movie watchers" and the rest are the drooling masses, they are only giving those "drooling masses" all more reason to ignore them.

I thought that review was hilarious. And if that's how the movie plays out, like he says in the review, then yeah--it'd be pretty hard to take serious.

[Preston_79]

I'll being seeing this movie tonight. Sounds like I'll enjoy it despite the flaws, hopefully.

From other reviews I've read I expect Duke to be played like he were a former male model, break dancer, who sounds like he's from the streets. Yo, cus dats where Tatum from yo. Da streets.
The super suits they wear look bulky and lame. Marlon Wayons seems another horrible casting choice.

Anyway, yea...I'll probably still like it.

[zombievictim]

One question, How was Levitt?

[Mystique963]

One question, How was Levitt?
I was impressed! I can't really go into a lot of detail without spoiling a lot, but I thought he did well.

[ilovemovies]

Levitt was fine but he really didn't have anything to do.

[Danger^Cart]

Ironically, I had no interest in seeing this until Ebert's review. Horribly written.

[anakinsrise]

Another childhood favorite gets the big screen,big budget,live action,treatment in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra offers plenty of action and eye candy,but if you're looking for Shakespeare mixed with bullets and explosions ,you will be very dissapointed.
Director Stephen Sommers and writers Stuart Beattie and David Elliot make some major changes to the JOE legend.If your fond of the animated show and comic like me,this may be a bit of a let down.Some changes work,some dont,but some of the JOE legend is left intact.
The acting in the film is so bad,i was embarrassed for the actors on screen.I havent seen acting this bad since Catwoman.
Sienna Miller does a pretty good job as the Baroness,Rachel Nichols as Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara,is great in her action sequences,and both ladies look great in their form fitting outfits.Ray Park once again shows off his fancy footwork and swordplay as the silent Snake Eyes,especially when facing off with Byung-hun Lee who portrays Storm Shadow.Marlon Wayans as Ripcord,wasnt as annoying as i thought he would be.
Most of the other characters are just lack luster,and they are bogged down by bad acting.I was dissapointed with Arnold Vosloo as Zartan,absolutely nothing that is fun, and interesting about the character is brought out in the film.Making Channing Tatum as Duke lovesick,was just uhmmmm...sick!!!
Director Stephen Sommers tries his best though to cover up the bad spots with tons of action,gadgets and visuals,though some of the CGI is a bit off.
So lower your expectations a bit,and enjoy the action,and get ready for the sequels,because the film definitely lets you know there will be one about four times,at the end of the film
Scale of 1-10 a 7 1/2

[zombievictim]

I had no intention of seeing this, but after seeing everyone say how much fun it is, I think I'm going to take the plunge.

[SteeleDude]

Fuck Ebert. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a movie he recommended.


Ever since he developed the terminal illness he recommends everything. Even the Friday the 13th remake despite his tirades against the franchise in the 80s. If he says something is bad, then he might be right, because he is more likely to recommend it anymore.

[Bourne101]

Fuck Ebert. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a movie he recommended.

Well, you don't post enough for me to know all the movies you have seen and liked, but I remember that you liked Drag Me to Hell and he liked that, so...

Ever since he developed the terminal illness he recommends everything. Even the Friday the 13th remake despite his tirades against the franchise in the 80s. If he says something is bad, then he might be right, because he is more likely to recommend it anymore.

While he does give more high ratings than he used to, he still frequently gives films ratings under three stars. Seven of the last twelve movies he has reviewed have been negative reviews. And he certainly hated this movie, so it must really suck. :p

And if I remember correctly he gave the Friday the 13th remake two stars. Hardly a recommendation.

[ilovemovies]

He liked the first Transformers. Transformers makes this movie look like a masterpiece by comparison.

[Bourne101]

He liked the first Transformers. Transformers makes this movie look like a masterpiece by comparison.

If we used this argument on a frequent basis, we would deem all critics to be worthless.

Regardless, general critical consensus would disagree with you there. The first Transformers received more positive reviews than negative reviews, while G.I. Joe's reviews have been pretty bad. Ebert is a great critic. One that always writes in-depth and interesting reviews, as well as some fun reviews when poking fun at bad movies. Even when critiquing films that he enjoyed that most people didn't, he always backs his opinion up with fair and interesting points.

[ilovemovies]

For the record, I wasn't trying to make Ebert sound like a bad critic. I'm actually a huge fan of Ebert's. Always have been and probably always will be.

[Bourne101]

For the record, I wasn't trying to make Ebert sound like a bad critic. I'm actually a huge fan of Ebert's. Always have been and probably always will be.

:cool:

[chinton]

While it wasn't nearly as offensively bad as Transformers 2 I really didn't get why this film is getting a free pass from many critics. Channing Tatum is awful. In face nobody really makes any kind of impression. Its so goofy and over the top that it just became crushingly dull after a while. It felt like the movie lasted for days and days and i think at the point where they try to crush and underwater base with ice that apparently can't float I really checked out. Really bad movie.

3/10

[bigred760]

It wasn't bad. It wasn't great by any means, but I enjoyed it. It was a fun summer movie, little more. A lot of the movie, from the story to the subplots and some of the settings are a bit farfetched, but you kind of get used to its outlandish-ness after a while. Some of the main characters aren't anything special either, but they do well enough to keep the movie going and at the very least - interesting. The character backgrounds, told through flashback, help a lot (I like flashbacks).

I think the action is what sold this movie for me. The action sequences were a lot of fun to just sit back and watch. Of course, the action is propelled by "enhancement suits" that make our heroes do everything from running, jumping, etc. better. The final battle reminded some of Return of the Jedi and the attack on the 2nd Death Star.

All in all, not a bad way to kill two hours. There's nothing exactly spectacular about it; it won't win any major awards or anything, and I doubt the actors will get much recognition from it. But the action is a lot of fun, there are a few good lines here and there, and it is never boring.

6/10

[ilovemovies]

Actually, I could have done without the flashbacks involving Snake Eyes and the other bad guy. I didn't find it to be necessary nor especially interesting. Though the the fight between the two kids was well choreographed.


I appear to be in the minority regarding Channing Tatum. Most people have called his performance wooden. But I actually liked him. Duke was one of the cooler characters IMO and I thought Tatum, while not exactly a great performance (as far Tatum's acting goes, he was far better in the underrated Stop-Loss), but I thought he was solid and pretty cool in the role. He was very charismatic I thought.

[Jig Saw 123]

Honestly I gotta say I loved the film. If you take it seriously than you'll be surely disappointed. The back stories and romance are corny and the cgi is pretty much like a video game, but that's what to expect when you bring a toyline and cartoon to the big screen. Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow's backstory is pretty bad along with Rex, Duke, and Anne. They don't ever give a real reason why Rex becomes evil and his voice prior to the last 10 minutes was absolutely perfect. Also I hope he doesn't wear that stupid mask in the sequel. Destro before becoming full Destro is menacing and very believable to an extent. It's pretty obvious what directions they'll take the sequel and I hope it makes enough money so they can because I enjoyed this a hell of a lot more than Transformers 2.

7/10 COBRA!!!!!

[bigred760]

Actually, I could have done without the flashbacks involving Snake Eyes and the other bad guy. I didn't find it to be necessary nor especially interesting. Though the the fight between the two kids was well choreographed.

Their relationship caught my eye when they first meet up and White Shadow says "Hello brother." I know very little about the toy universe and which characters are on which side and have what history. So their story was interesting to me, though predictable after the first five seconds of their "training" together.


I appear to be in the minority regarding Channing Tatum. Most people have called his performance wooden. But I actually liked him. Duke was one of the cooler characters IMO and I thought Tatum, while not exactly a great performance (as far Tatum's acting goes, he was far better in the underrated Stop-Loss), but I thought he was solid and pretty cool in the role. He was very charismatic I thought.

His first scene was horrible: when he's talking to his men about their mission and what not. His dialogue delivery almost took me out of the movie right there. Luckily it did get better. A little better.

[visual_tension]

Surprisingly decent. There's some weak acting and awful dialogue, but it was fun and enjoyable.

7/10

[Fancyclaps]

minor spoilers for cobra commander



I've heard a lot of shit about his mask, but am I the only one who thought the mask looked really good? Not just the mask, but the voice and the way he acted too. I think the weird inhaler mask he wore for most of the movie, and the one he put on at the very end were both very sinister looking and I thought he was a great villian and will be even better in the sequel. He definately reminded me of a strange Nazi doctor, and he was definately my favorite character of the movie (Snake Eyes a close second).

I think a cloth with eyeholes would have looked very cheap on screen and they really went the best route and most people are just being too picky.

[FireCaptain4]

Wait a minute, what's with the talk about a sequel? So far, it doesn't seem like ... Rise of Cobra has faired well enough to warrant a sequel.

Then again, maybe G.I. Joe will pull an Ice Age 3 overseas or something.

As far as the film goes, I still haven't seen it. Hopefully I'll get around to it next week sometime, though I'm absolutely giddy over District 9.

[SuperMarcey]

Actually, I could have done without the flashbacks involving Snake Eyes and the other bad guy. I didn't find it to be necessary nor especially interesting. Though the the fight between the two kids was well choreographed.




If they cut that stuff out, the film would have been shorter and better for sure.

[SteeleDude]

Well, you don't post enough for me to know all the movies you have seen and liked, but I remember that you liked Drag Me to Hell and he liked that, so...



While he does give more high ratings than he used to, he still frequently gives films ratings under three stars. Seven of the last twelve movies he has reviewed have been negative reviews. And he certainly hated this movie, so it must really suck. :p

And if I remember correctly he gave the Friday the 13th remake two stars. Hardly a recommendation.

He said if you want to see Jason then this movie won't disappoint. He even seemed to have a lot of fun talking about the things that used to enrage him. I thought it was cool how he was like "look, I hate this shit, but I know some of you love it and in terms of Jason movies you could do worse." Now that's a helpful review!

I'd say a movie should be really good to get three stars. 2.5 is considered a recommended film with flaws. 2 stars isn't so bad, he didn't enjoy it, but it wasn't without its merits.

When something gets one star then there is an issue.

I love Ebert's reviews. Even while he has slammed some of my favorite movies, I never took it personally. In my opinion he is the critic who most consistently gets it right. Upthread I noticed someone saying he was making fun of us, and I really don't think he was.

One of my favorite movies, Team America, he hated. He took it too seriously, and I always thought it silly, but nothing more than a digression.

My favorite reviews are the .5 star ones. And I thought his review of Transformers 2 was spot on. I should have listened to it instead of wasting my money--it was one of those times I was like "he's just an old man who doesn't like loud noises." Nope. He sure was right about that one.

I'll save GI Joe for rental.

[Bahs]

didnt care for it too much. dont get me wrong its a solid action flick but thats about it.
i did like it a bit better than Transformers 2, but idk just not my taste really.

6.5/10

[LordSimen]

Why this film is getting praised and Transformers was trashed is beyond me. This was the worst movie of this year thus far. Not even Christopher Eccleston could redeem this movie, and I fuckin' love that guy. The ninth doctor rocks, yo! 0/10

[Mystique963]

Well, you don't post enough for me to know all the movies you have seen and liked, but I remember that you liked Drag Me to Hell and he liked that, so...
Hmm, touche. :)

I honestly don't pay too much attention to his reviews. I do, however, feel that he reviews based on criteria that I don't really give much credit to; meaning I do enjoy the occasional popcorn flick and can overlook certain things it may be lacking.

[jbar1026]

minor spoilers for cobra commander

am I the only one who thought the mask looked really good? I think the weird inhaler mask he wore for most of the movie, and the one he put on at the very end were both very sinister looking and I thought he was a great villian and will be even better in the sequel.

I think a cloth with eyeholes would have looked very cheap on screen and they really went the best route and most people are just being too picky.
possible spoilers
yes i think you just might be the only one!
really clear plastic with big eyes (if im remembering correctly) why? when will directors learn that when you are making a movie about something with this much back story you dont need to reinvent every single thing!
on the other hand you are right that the cloth with the eyeholes would have been cheap looking. but they could have made a mirrored faceplate helmet and made it look real good.
as for his resperator mask it was a diversion to make the audience think he was dr. mindbender.

[NuclearMisfit]

Im tired of any character (ie Snake Eyes) thats had almost 3 decades of mystique and intrigue to be explained to me in movie form where they still tamper with the given goddamn storyline, His character card in on his toy was all I really needed to know.

The Cobra commander storyline could have been about him as a car dealer and done all in flashback form I would have been so much more happier. The mask was stupid too, Id rather have him don a blue KKK-esque mask and piss a lot of people off than that bullshit he had in the movie. ITS COBRA COMMANDER HE HAS NEVER REALLY BEEN PEOPLE FRIENDLY!!! YOU SHOULD HATE THE CHARACTER!!!

[Jig Saw 123]

Im tired of any character (ie Snake Eyes) thats had almost 3 decades of mystique and intrigue to be explained to me in movie form where they still tamper with the given goddamn storyline, His character card in on his toy was all I really needed to know.

The Cobra commander storyline could have been about him as a car dealer and done all in flashback form I would have been so much more happier. The mask was stupid too, Id rather have him don a blue KKK-esque mask and piss a lot of people off than that bullshit he had in the movie. ITS COBRA COMMANDER HE HAS NEVER REALLY BEEN PEOPLE FRIENDLY!!! YOU SHOULD HATE THE CHARACTER!!!

Like meaning have said before this film seems to play as a prequel to everything even the Joe unit itself. Cobra's mask at the end will most likely still be a prototype and in the sequel his costume will ressemble more of the comics and tv show since he'll be the highest in power. Also I don't think people are suppose to hate CC, I like Megatron and he wants to destroy the entire human race.

[jbar1026]

I don't think people are suppose to hate CC, I like Megatron and he wants to destroy the entire human race. in megatrons case at least he is cool. cobra commander is a coward and is arrogent as hell if

[muttly69]

in megatrons case at least he is cool. cobra commander is a coward and is arrogent as hell if

Megatron is the same way. All talk when there army is doing all the work for them. I liked GI Joe. It was fun and can wait for the sequel. Took my wife and son who had no idea what GI Joe was and they liked it as well. Why everyone is comparing apples to oranges with Transformers (that I hated 1&2) is beyond me. They are two totally different movies!!!!!!! Wasn’t expecting much from Tatum, but was surprised on how good Wayne’s was. And as the biggest Cobra Commander fan in the world, I wasn’t pissed about the mask because I never expected an actor wanting to completely cover his face on film. That's why it is semi-clear. But as I said before this is "The rise of Cobra" and will most likely have more of a classic look on the next film. 6/10

[JoeChar4321]

4/10

Well, we have a new record holder. This movie, without a doubt, is the new champion! It is THE greatest combination of loud noise and cheese ever put forth on to the silver screen. I was expecting a dumb and crazy CGfest but I thought that maybe they could provide mindless popcorn fun like Transformers somehow managed to deliver. I was wrong. Unlike Transformers 2, spectacle did NOT win out over the shear stupidity. The plot is as bad as you would expect but the action set pieces are too loud and ridiculous to enjoy. I was snickering often at the absurdity. This could be the quintessential roll your eyes movie. Whether it was the preposterous flashbacks (kung-fu kids? bunker bad guy lives?) or the insane disregard for human life (how many people died in Paris?) this movie was so bad that it may be rewatchable simply to mock it.

[Jig Saw 123]

in megatrons case at least he is cool. cobra commander is a coward and is arrogent as hell if

If waiting until your enemy is down and on their last ounce of breath and taking the grasp of power is weak or cowardice than most leaders throughout history can be cowards than. Megatron always attacked Prime when he had the assistance of his minions by his side. Cobra's arrogance and being stuck up is what makes his character so badass.

[Bourne101]

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - 3/10

Absolute fucking garbage. This movie has three things going for it: a couple of good action scenes, Sienna Miller and Rachel Nichols looking smokin' hot, and a couple of good back stories. Other than that, it is completely mental. At this point, I'm really tired of the popcorn flick that is a nice way to kill a couple of hours. It's time for some good movies (and it looks like we've got some coming up in these next few weeks). Everything in this movie is just completely preposterous and it is not even that entertaining. The final action sequence goes on FOREVER. This movie felt like it was 150 minutes long. Really boring, completely unoriginal, and a lot of very good talent is completely wasted (JGL and Sienna Miller specifically). This isn't a "leave your brain at the door" or "a nice way to kill a few hours"... it's just garbage.

[ilovemovies]

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - 4/10

Absolute fucking garbage. This movie has three things going for it: a couple of good action scenes, Sienna Miller and Rachel Nichols looking smokin' hot, and a couple of good back stories. Other than that, it is completely mental. At this point, I'm really tired of the popcorn flick that is a nice way to kill a couple of hours. It's time for some good movies (and it looks like we've got some coming up in these next few weeks). Everything in this movie is just completely preposterous and it is not even that entertaining. The final action sequence goes on FOREVER. This movie felt like it was 150 minutes long. Really boring, completely unoriginal, and a lot of very good talent is completely wasted (JGL and Sienna Miller specifically). This isn't a "leave your brain at the door" or "a nice way to kill a few hours"... it's just garbage.

May I ask what did you give Transformers 2?

[Bourne101]

May I ask what did you give Transformers 2?

I gave Transformers 2 a 6/10 (though on reflection I'm very tempted to drop it down to a 5/10). Transformers actually managed to entertain me for the first hour or so before completely losing steam and becoming terribly boring and repetitive. G.I. Joe was just a complete bore throughout. It was just so unbelievably cheesy and cliched and it wasn't entertaining at all. It was like I had seen the whole thing before and had the same structure and format as hundreds of other crappy action films. There was nothing new or original about it, and the special effects for the most part were terrible. There was some REALLY bad CGI throughout.

All in all, they are really not that much different in terms of quality, but Transformers managed to entertain me for an hour or so, while G.I. Joe just bored me from start to finish. The special effects in Transformers were also much better.

[ilovemovies]

I do agree that they are not THAT different in quality but I do there is a bit of difference. The writing is by no means great or even good, but IMO none of the dialogue made me want to gag the way it did in Transformers. And the action was much better directed and much more coherent. Unlike a lot of the times in Transformers, I could actually tell what was going on in the screen.

But I will grant you that there is ONE scene in Transformers that is way cooler than anything in G.I. Joe. And that's the fight in the forrest between Optimus Prime and a bunch of the Decepticons. That was a friggin' awesome scene.

[LordSimen]

Honestly the dialogue in G.I. Joe made me want to gag every time someone spoke. Transformers actually made me like the characters through some rather good dialogue writing, and what had to be some pretty funny improv.

[ilovemovies]

To each their own. I personally thought that both Transformers contains some of the worst writing ever in a big budget hollywood summer blockbuster. I thought the writing in Transformers is ALMOST Batman & Robin bad.

[LordSimen]

That's how I feel about G.I. Joe. Definitely to each their own.

[JoeChar4321]

I gave Transformers 2 a 6/10 (though on reflection I'm very tempted to drop it down to a 5/10). Transformers actually managed to entertain me for the first hour or so before completely losing steam and becoming terribly boring and repetitive. G.I. Joe was just a complete bore throughout. It was just so unbelievably cheesy and cliched and it wasn't entertaining at all. It was like I had seen the whole thing before and had the same structure and format as hundreds of other crappy action films. There was nothing new or original about it, and the special effects for the most part were terrible. There was some REALLY bad CGI throughout.

All in all, they are really not that much different in terms of quality, but Transformers managed to entertain me for an hour or so, while G.I. Joe just bored me from start to finish. The special effects in Transformers were also much better.

I felt the same way. When you break down the story and writing, both are dumb as dirt but GI Joe took the cheese and cliched filled nonsense to an unenjoyable level. Transformers managed to entertain me while GI Joe crossed the line. It may be splitting hairs but TF2 managed to overcome it's stupidity while GI Joe caved in to it. Plus, TF2's budget was better spent and the CG was far better.

[muttly69]

Cobraaaaaaaa!!!!!!

[I Am Legend]

This film was slightly better than Transformers 2, but that isn't saying much. This movie absolutely stunk ass, and is comparable to the god-awful Street Fighter film from the 90s. Boring characters, horrible dialogue and a mediocre story. And the fight between Snakeyes and Storm Shadow was a major, major letdown to say the least.

It is a shame that the Powers That Be didn't have enough balls to make a realistic, darker version of the cartoon instead of this Street Fighter clone.

[mutant_gorilla]

I don't know. I had a great deal of fun watching GI JOE. It definitely wasn't perfect, and had some terrible CGI. But I had fun. Which is what I didn't have during transformers 2. In fact. I'm still angry over Transformers...

Transformers 2 = 4/10

GI JOE = 7/10

[redfiretruck]

this. was. SO. GOOD! channing was hot, and loved the romance they managed to put in <3

[walter_man]

this film was pretty good
i had watched a few day ago, but the special effect was slips
just i thought

[muttly69]

I cant wait to see were they go in the second movie.

[razgriz21]

G.I. Joe better than Transformers 2? I don't think so.

Power suits, Marlon Wayans, Channing Tatum, terrible dialogue, campy fun, and ****** CGI do not make a better movie.

At least Transformers 2 represented the military better in my opinion. Also, it has robotic combat.

G.I. Joe: 1.9/5.0

Transformers 2: 4.0/5.0 Yes, it had big flaws but I'd take them over crap CGI, Channing Tatum, and a campy field.

Stephen Sommers should consider a career change.

[Badbird]

I thought it was great. Probably the best of the "Hollywood Blockbuster" crop of movie for this summer (IE: Transformers, Wolverine, Terminator, etc.).

This is almost exactly what I would expect based on the animated series. Insanely silly, over the top action and outlandish storylines.

I've always liked Stephen Sommers, and so far he has yet to disappoint me. Everything the guy makes is just flat out fun to watch. And after watching it, it's easy to see why it cost so much to make.

The car chase through Paris is probably the top action sequence of the year for me, so far (though you have to wonder how many countless civilians were killed during that). And for a PG-13 movie, the violence was surprisingly graphic in some parts. Lots of head shots and stabbings. Oh well, no blood. MPAA says A-OK!

8/10

[retlaw]

Having just seen it, that is my conclusion. Stephen sommers = bad cgi overkill. Cgi should only be used if something is impossible to do, but he uses it for everything. That was my biggest complaint but the rest wasnt to good either. And if everybody keeps comparing this to transformers i can only wish michael bay made this movie and it would be a lot better. The cgi in transformers is phenomenal. I smell reboot after transformers 3 for gi joe and it will be directed by michael bay, the perfect man to make a movie about a special military unit and bring in michael biehn for a role, he belongs in that kind of movie.

[MarcoG]

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