Why do I even fucking bother [WARNING: Lots of Caps and spoiler for Zombieland]

[Servo]

Okay, people have ranted about this before, so if you're expecting some profound new rant just stop reading. I'm just particularly in a bad mood for the past two months and this one little agitating thing just happened to push me enough to rant.

I understand the idea that, at an event film, a lot of people are going to see it. If something is advertised extensively both on TV, online, etc. there's going to be a huge turnout opening weekend and the probably the following weekend. So likewise, you can wander over to your favorite movie blog, read some movie news, and yuck it up with your fellow forum posters about awesome this one event film is, and expect a lot of people reading the same piece of news you're reading has seen this great event film.

And I'm not trying to be a douche. Honestly, I'm not. I'm totally stoked on the fact that you and your fellow geeks loved a particular film. That's great news to me. And yeah, I agree with the notion that if you haven't seen a particular film that everyone else has seen, it's gonna be tough avoiding spoilers. But hey, if you avoid the outlets for that one particular film, you should be all right, right? Yeah, we can all agree to that.

But for the love of God.......if you feel any need, ANY NEED WHATSOEVER, to post a particular spoiler about a film on a news story that is completely unrelated to the film SOME people haven't seen yet...

YOU CAN AT LEAST


SEPARATE THE SPOILER WARNING



FROM THE ACTUAL FUCKING SPOILER



JUST LIKE THIS



AND MAYBE IN ALL CAPS



AND, SHIT, EVEN SOME OBNOXIOUS &&***$$$##@@@@ CHARACTERS




Honestly, who the fuck goes on to a movie site and whenever they discuss a spoiler warning they just go

SPOILER if you don't already know
Vader is Luke's father in Empire Strikes Back


W. T. F.

But the title of the movie near the spoiler warning! put a huge fucking space between the warning and the actual spoiler! JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE?


This has been the shittiest year for me. I have had a total of three paychecks since January. I had to fucking leave LA, the place I had been vying to move to since I was a fucking teenager so I can work production, I live with my parents now and have absolutely zero income because the job I was supposed to start working two months ago in China has been delayed because apparently the Chinese TAKE A WHOLE FUCKING MONTH OFF FROM WORK AND DON'T PROCESS YOUR VISA AFTER YOU'VE GONE THROUGH ALL THE HARD-AS-SHIT PAPERWORK PROCESS BECAUSE YOUR BULLSHIT COMMUNIST GOVERNMENT HAS TURNED 60 YEARS OLD.

So needless to say I haven't seen a lot of movies this year. The majority of the movies I've been able to see in theaters were some of the horrible animated/live action movies for kids because I took my nephew to see them and my sister paid. So when I see a movie, it's a big fucking deal. I wasn't going to see Zombieland because it didn't look that special. But then my friends started calling me, asking me if I had seen it, and they told me I would particularly love it, especially because of a certain cameo. They wouldn't tell me the cameo because they didn't want to spoil it for me. See, nice people. So I was excited, and I've been waiting for some cash to come in so I can go see it. And like I said - this is a big deal. The last film I saw in theaters was Inglorious Basterds and I wasn't planning on seeing anything else afterwards because I'm supposed to go to China.


ZOMBIELAND SPOILER WARNING - Then comes this fucking moron asshole on /film's news about Ghosbusters 3.



*SPOILER, if you don't already know*
Bill Murray's scene in Zombieland made m--


Wait.

WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK? YOU CALL THAT A SPOILER WARNING? NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE - I HAVE TWO FUCKING EYES THAT CAN READ TWO SMALL LINES OF TEXT AT ONCE. AND WHAT THE HELL - THIS IS GHOSTBUSTERS NEWS! EFFORT, MAN. EFFORT!!!!!!

You know who these people are? These are the same fucking people that take zero time and consideration to post a simple spoiler warning because HEY, IT'S AN EVENT FILM, IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET AND COME ACROSS A SPOILER, IT'S YOUR OWN FUCKING FAULT MAN

Well FUCK you people. SOME of us don't have any fucking MONEY. Because movies are fucking EXPENSIVE these days.

Why do I even bother with movie news and their fucked up shitty comment sections?

Well I don't. I'm done with the bullshit comments section. FUCKING DONE.

-Sighs- I'm finished.

http://1000monkeys.com/img/imfinished.png

[CyclicNightmare]

I like this guy.

[Duke Nukem]

I feel your pain. I try avoiding spoilers for event movies I have an interest in at all costs. Once I've already seen the TV ads enough times, I'll mute the TV and look away (I regularly mute commercial breaks; it is a great way to save a headache). If I've seen the previews in the theater enough times, I'll listen to my walkman and look away (taking a walkman to the theater is another great way of saving a headache). But from time to time, I want to tune in to Joblo, and see what's new. Obvsiously, I'll have to avoid the Current Movie Talk forum. And as much as I enjoy looking movies up on IMDB, I have to avoid the events movies entirely until I've seen them. And yet, half the time with event movies, I have still somehow been spoiled of something major and it has royally pissed me off. Some people these days are just inconsiderate.

I have willingly read your post without seeing "Zombieland," and knowing that aspect of it doesn't bother me. It isn't that much of an event movie for me.

The only example I can remember well is "The Village." Then again, didn't everyone hear about it's possible twist back then? Even if I didn't know it's possible twist, I still would have figured it out by myself (just by listening to certain things the characters said). But it still lingered in the back of my mind the whole time, so it's reveal wasn't as magical is it should have been. And for what it's worth, I still liked it. I haven't seen it it since, but there is a curiousity factor about seeing it again. If only people were considerate enough to not ruin future event movies like this.

Another aspect of this topic are foolish studio exec.'s who go as far as telling you that there's a big twist in the previews. Just by revealing that alone, it makes you analyze the whole movie, when it would have been more surprising as a "casual" watch. Most recentinly, "A Perfect Getaway." For what it's worth, it didn't feature that brilliant a twist that was difficult to call, but I still liked it.

And lastly, previews that tell you that there's a twist and show a glimps of it. "Hide and Seek" from 2005 was a victim of this. Fortunately, I had already seen it before they had showed those ads. I enjoyed it as well.

[bigred760]

I also feel for you, Servo. While I go to a lot of movies, I usually don't see them right away; I usually wait til the following week to watch them, if not later. Through experience, I've learned to avoid the Current Movie Talk forum while waiting to see the movie. There are too many careless and/or selfish people that don't realize that there are people who haven't seen the movie because they haven't had the time and/or resources to do it.

[CyclicNightmare]

Lesson learned. Should have seen it earlier.

[Mr. Creasy]

The point is this...

Wrong-
****SPOILERS****
Pacino killed DeNiro in HEAT



Right-
****SPOILERS****








































Tom Hanks gets killed at the end of Road to Perdition

[NathanRomano]

Kind of ironic the picture at the end is a spoiler. Was that on purpose?

[echo_bravo]

If you go to the IMDB page for Zombieland, Murray is one of the top billing actors listed (6th down). It doesnt seem like they are trying to keep it a secret.

That sucks though Servo. I do hate having films spoiled.

[QUENTIN]

Great!

Thanks for spoiling There Will Be Blood for me.

WTF?


Side note: I find rollover spoiler text to be by far the best and easiest option for conveying a spoiler without ruining it for anyone.

[Natty]

Funny rant. I agree with it.

What do you mean by the 'comments section'?

[Mr. Creasy]

Problem solved...

See!!!

[SykkBoy]

Another aspect of this topic are foolish studio exec.'s who go as far as telling you that there's a big twist in the previews. Just by revealing that alone, it makes you analyze the whole movie, when it would have been more surprising as a "casual" watch. Most recentinly, "A Perfect Getaway." For what it's worth, it didn't feature that brilliant a twist that was difficult to call, but I still liked it.

And lastly, previews that tell you that there's a twist and show a glimps of it. "Hide and Seek" from 2005 was a victim of this. Fortunately, I had already seen it before they had showed those ads. I enjoyed it as well.

This drives me totally insane...when the marketing of the film is "you won't believe the twist ending..." Now I'm looking for the damn twist and it takes the fun out of it....

I hate people who are so inconsiderate about spoilers....I even go so far as to avoid clips of movies I want to see...I don't want anything given away to me...I want to experience the movie and the moments themselves...

[The Pin]

Agreed. Don't let it stop you from seeing Zombieland though, its a damn good time.

[Hotbox]

Nice rant. Are you a virgin by any chance?

but seriously...i got a kicked in the balls the other day on youtube when i checked out the trailer to 'the road'. and some fagball had posted the end of the movie in the comment section. KhhaaaN!

[Jig Saw 123]

I find this rant to be funny, but somewhat idiotic. I can understand spoiler warnings regarding a film that came out just last week or month, but for a film that has been out for years, than I'm not going to edit what I can and can't talk about because some idiot decided he wanted to read a forum regarding a film he's never seen, yet its on DVD.

[Heisenberg]

I find this rant to be funny, but somewhat idiotic. I can understand spoiler warnings regarding a film that came out just last week or month.

Yet you just did it in the Trick 'r Treat thread.

[Servo]

Are you a virgin by any chance?


Yes, and I'm also a heterosexual, a left-leaning libertarian and a member of the Southern Baptist convention.

Any other personal details about my life you need to know that are absolutely unrelated to my rant?

[Heisenberg]

Are you a virgin by any chance?


what the hell has this got to do with anything?? :mad: :confused:

[KCJ506]

IMDB is the worse when it comes to this. People there are always putting spoilers in thread titles.

[Brendan M.]

The Zombieland spoiler is an interesting one. I knew about it long before the movie even came out. Why? Because the cast of the movie is listed on IMDB. Not the message boards. So I was surprised when people were considering it a spoiler.

[Jig Saw 123]

Yet you just did it in the Trick 'r Treat thread.

I didn't post spoilers. :confused:

[outsyder]

I hate how Zombieland spoiled the cameo by insinuating that his initials were BM, as the gate outside his house had giant metal letters.

HOW DARE THEY SPOIL THEIR OWN CAMEO.


Seriously. Get over it. I knew who it was beforehand and it was still hilarious.

[Danger^Cart]

Wait...

Duke Nukem owns a Walkman?

[Servo]

I hate how Zombieland spoiled the cameo by insinuating that his initials were BM, as the gate outside his house had giant metal letters.

HOW DARE THEY SPOIL THEIR OWN CAMEO.

Hardly the same thing I was talking about.


Seriously. Get over it. I knew who it was beforehand and it was still hilarious.

That's not what I'm ranting about (you read it, right?). I'm ranting about a particular person (and others in general) that thought that just because Zombieland finished number one in the box office and was seen by many in the opening weekend that people like me don't deserve to enjoy the film in the same manner they did. I really enjoy films when I know little about them. I will still probably enjoy the film knowing this particular spoiler, but I have a different sort of enjoyment when I know nothing.

I tried extremely hard to avoid news and reviews about the movie (and I hardly visit IMDb any more). My friend (who is very familiar in how I enjoy films) told me I would particularly love the cameo if I didn't know who it was and suggested I stay away from any and all outlets. And I did. But some loser spoiled it on an article that is completely unrelated to the film. And if you read my rant, it happened on a particularly shitty day.

So, hey, I apologize if my rant annoys you and that you're bothered by the fact that I can't enjoy a film the same way you do. But it's just who I am what I choose to do. I rarely see films in theaters these days and in a few weeks I'll be living in a very rural area in a different country.

Sorry, "get over it" just doesn't do it for me.

[outsyder]

Wasn't referring to you specifically.

I just wanted to add my own semi-related rant. Still think spoiling WHO it is should realistically have no effect on how funny WHAT happens is.

[Duke Nukem]

Wait...

Duke Nukem owns a Walkman?

Ha, ha, yes. A '90's walkman that plays CD's.

In my mind, I live in the `80's and early`90's. Today's iPods and iPhones turning today's youth into zombies...ugh. I will never own one.

Back on topic, if they really allowed Bill Murray's name in the credits on IMDB in the first, what were they thinking? If they really wanted to keep that a surprise, they screwed up. Other movies have had surprise cameos and kept the actors names out of the IMDB credits. Or gave a phony name.

[CyclicNightmare]

Hey keep it classy in here, guys. Posts like "Get over it" and "Are you a virgin?" have no place here. Spoilers are lame, especially when proper warning is not given. I'm sure this won't be much of an issue with our fancy new tags.

Seriously, respect each other or GTFO of the rant forum.

[Hotbox]

I apologize for the virgin remark. I had a few beers last night when i wrote it.
pweeeese forgive me!?

[Brendan M.]

I apologize for the virgin remark. I had a few beers last night when i wrote it.
pweeeese forgive me!?

In exchange for your backdoor virginity.

[SkyNet]

ya, now we have these spoiler warning things just like you would post a picture

it is at the right hand side of the tool bar when you are typing your reply

these things.. bad ass

but one thing that annoys me is... in a thread that discusses numerous movies... people will just put

SPOILER WARNING

and then talk about a movie... and never indicate what movie it is until in the spoiler.. which annoys me, because if the spoiler is on a movie i have seen, i can participate in the convo, but if it is a movie i havnt seen, i will avoid the spoiler like the plague.

i prefer things like

SPOILER FOR THE SIXTH SENSE

or

SPOILER WARNING (Sixth Sense)

something like that

but now maybe something like

SIXTH SENSE SPOILERS
Brucey was a ghost at the end

id like that

[Jacks]

Agreed. Don't let it stop you from seeing Zombieland though, its a damn good time.

I agree with you totally, I laughed through the whole thing. My fav part was when they showed the zombie kill of the week. Laughed my ass off.

[Shayde]

I guess I was lucky, because I managed to dodge all the zombieland spoilers about the cameo. I remember after I watched the movie I checked joblo and saw the article with the spoiler for the cameo - thought it was pretty douchey for that to be in there.

I'm glad I dodged the spoilers though, because being unaware of who the cameo was made it the best cameo I've ever seen in a movie.

[Shinigami]

You flipped out just because somebody spoiled a surprise cast member of Zombieland?

What?

I hate to be "that guy" who doesn't get the rant and wants everyone to know he doesn't get the rant, but that doesn't seem like a big deal. When I opened this thread I was sure that one of the characters dies at the end of Zombieland and somebody ruined that.

edit
Posts like "Get over it" and "Are you a virgin?" have no place here.

Just saw that. Whoops. :D

[stonereview]

What? Vader is Lukes father. Thanks for ruining that for me rotfl. Was there plot points that could be spoiled in Zombieland? It seemed like kindof a popcorn movie to me.


The Stoner

[blankpage]

Great rant. Servo is the man!

[MisterTwister]

Although I understand where you are coming from, the news of BM being in Zombieland has been known since April. I was shocked to hear the surprise reactions of him being in the movie.

[HedwigX]

Although I understand where you are coming from, the news of BM being in Zombieland has been known since April. I was shocked to hear the surprise reactions of him being in the movie.

Not everyone goes and seeks that kind of information out though. And on the topic of the cameo, I think it's obviously preferable not to know Bill Murray appears before you go in, but it's only really detrimental if you actually know

that Columbus kills him because he thinks he's a zombie

That for me was unexpected, even though it's pretty signposted. Either way, damn funny, and surely has to cap cameos in films now- how can anything top that?

[Sgizzy316]

I like this guy.

ditto

I hadn't looked into the post before but I'm glad it did because it made me smile on this slow ass day of work thanks to the fucking weather

[rene_belloq]

jesus dies in the bible.

[TheDeadWalk]

Yes, and I'm also a heterosexual, a left-leaning libertarian and a member of the Southern Baptist convention.

Any other personal details about my life you need to know that are absolutely unrelated to my rant?

Damn. You really have nothing going for you. I hope that you someday fall into a pit of fresh cupcakes and vaginas to make up for everything you've been through.

[Terminal_83]

I feel your pain man.

I've had many movies spoiled for me.

"Hart's War"

My dad was talking to me one day and said:




SPOILER WARNING




Wasn't that fucked up when Bruce Willis died?"






END SPOILER WARNING





I was so pissed off. And I was dumb enough to visit the SAW boards on IMDB where there was a troll purposely posting the surprise ending. Suffice it to say all of the punch to SAW was gone when I finally went to see it in theaters.

Stay strong man.

[Servo]

Damn. You really have nothing going for you. I hope that you someday fall into a pit of fresh cupcakes and vaginas to make up for everything you've been through.

I have more going for me than you think, but thanks.

[TheDeadWalk]

I have more going for me than you think, but thanks.

In that case... make it a pit of just fresh cupcakes. No vaginas.